ASTOR, conrad ruess

[conrad]

'like an army falling one by one by one.'

CONRAD RUESS ASTOR
con. fourteen. male. unknown. faerie. neutral. asa butterfield. naga.

CONRAD'S SUPER, AWESOME, EPIC DIABOLICAL PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION 2008

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"Phase one shall of course commence with me taking over the family. I have the blueprint ready already of my plan of building the BRAINWASHER, which will as the name suggests, brainwash the minds of my family and bend them to my will. And then I will be able to take over the family fortune, and use it to build an armada of ships, and attack my living relatives. They will then fall, my family will rise to the top of the food chain, and then phase one of the plan will be complete.'

Time taken to launch plan (approximately) : 24 hours.

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'...Phase one did not go too well. I had taken the opportunity to place the device on Dee's head when she was taking her morning shower. She was too caught up in scrubbing her body down, and as a result, did not notice me placing the device. I flicked the switch, and instead of the brainwashing process that I had been hoping for, her hair literally stood up on end. And because she had been showering, she was electrocuted too. Fortunately, the amount of electrical energy didn't exceed a hundred watts, but I am sure that the sensation was...notoriously unpleasant for her.

Dee was furious. She raced out of the bathroom clad in naught but her towel, but fortunately, I had a backup plan, as I kinda figured that this was bound to happen. It was only a simple task of placing a banana peel outside her door, and lo behold, she then comically slipped on it. I wasn't very keen on her dying, so I had placed gym mats on the area I figured that she would fall down, and my calculations were indeed correct.

As much as I enjoyed the entertainment, it was a bummer when I was then grounded for a week.'

'I did try other means to take over the house, some which included hiding my father's underwear and other things that included a bucket over a door, a smelly stocking and a mousetrap, but they failed too unfortunately.'

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'Well, phase one of taking over the house totally flopped completely, so I shall proceed to write down phase two for future reference. Manuka has to begin with creating a name for themselves, and do that I shall, that is by exposing every supernatural creature that lurked in this town. To do that, I will have to instigate a fight with the Astor name. I shall expose myself to the humans, creating a mass, huge uproar, to such a point that the other supernaturals will be forced to intervene. But by then, I will have a huge army of robots already made, and they of materials that will be impervious to tooth, nail, claw and bullets. And then they will take over Manuka, throwing pies of all kinds and be armed with lethal weapons. And then-'

"Dammit, Conrad, get your ass down for dinner!"

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SHORTCUT TO WORLD DOMINATION FOR THE LAZY: BUILD A SUPER MACHINE AND ENSLAVE ALL LIVING THINGS.

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CONRAD'S SUPER, AWESOME, EPIC DIABOLICAL PLANS FOR WORLD DOMINATION 2012

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'When I looked at my previous plans from four years ago, I realized how shallow and silly they sounded, even if I never got the chance to initiate the second and third phase and think up of more epic ideas. Sure, we could go ahead and try building those robots or diabolical machines, but every machine has its weakness, and anything could happen. I believe that the only way I will be ever able to achieve world domination would be through social means, perhaps enslaving every individual to my will, one by one.

But that would take forever, and forever is not within my mortal life. No, what I need is power. Power to such a point that anything that opposes me would crumble to ashes immediately. But only fools can dream of achieving such an intense gift, and I fear that it is not within my reach, at least not for the time being. Until then, I shall continue to build and invent, and see where they take me. I can't do shit with my age at the moment, since no one's gonna bloody listen. AND THEN PERHAPS ONE DAY THE WORLD WILL BE MINE MUAHAHAHAHA.

oh look it's time for football. I can't wait for ice cream later.'

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