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Post by BLAKE NEIL LEWIS on Feb 19, 2013 7:35:07 GMT
 i feel numb most of the time[/i][/font][/size] THE LOWER I GET THE HIGHER I'LL CLIMB[/center]
Blake had become a regular in detention and no matter how many times his guidance counselor tried to pull him out of class to talk to him he would not get through with the troubled teenager. He knew as soon as he would open up to the stranger it would hit him right back in the face and his parents would only tell him he was over reacting. Whenever they did notice he was upset they only thought he was being dramatic, but if they only knew the shit he went through at school and how lonely he was. Sometimes he just wished they could walk in his shoes only for a day and experience the depression he felt. He wondered if they would even question him then and try to sympathize with him more. The most unsettling thing was that Blake didn't have a hard life and he just woke up every morning feeling that heavy depression on his chest. Blake wished he could escape it, but the cuts on his body were a constant reminder that no matter how hard he tried to fight against it he would only find himself spiraling farther into the big pit.
He had detention after school nearly everyday. It was bullshit how long they asked the students to stay there. The children at Gracedown High School weren't as bad a they seemed because usually there were nearly no kids in detention besides him and few other people who were in and out. Blake had been suspended a few times from how much detention he had gotten and he was not proud of that either. He was only in there because a guy thought it would be funny to throw an orange at him in the lunchroom, so Blake confronted him and the vice principal was walking by just as he was going off which got him quite a few weeks of detention. Apparently bullying was okay, but a small bit of profanity was against everything. Blake walked out of his last class, wincing as a person bumped him roughly to get past him. He glared at the girl as she made her way down the hallway to greet her many friends.
Blake stood against the wall and waited for the hallways to clear before he decided to go walking through them with all the teenagers happy to go home to their loving parents and their many parties. He sighed and kept his head down as he walked past a few people who paid no attention to him. The door was open to the classroom and he slid into a desk near the back. He stared out of the window gloomily, but snapped out of his thoughts as two friends came in talking rather loudly. They sat in the front and began to chat in more of a hushed tone. Blake could only catch small parts of the conversation. They were talking about some party the next day. Blake never knew about any of the parties people threw because he wasn't in any of those friend groups. Only parties he had been to were ones he had overheard others talking about. It had been a big mistake to even go because both times he was ignored the whole time. He had just stole a few drinks and left.
He put his head down on the desk, closing his eyes. Blake put his head up again when a kid listening to his music loudly came in and sat near him. He watched him for a few seconds before the teacher strolled in, looking rather flustered and irritable. Blake was sure that was the full cast of detention goers until an unfamiliar face came into the room. He sat up and watched in interest as the girl came in without looking at anybody and sat a row away from him. Blake had heard a few people whispering about a new girl, but hadn't seen her in the time she had been here. She had come at the beginning of the school year, so she wasn't really that new anymore. Sometimes it took a long time for people to adapt at Manuka because it had been hard for him when he moved here. No one had shut up about her moving here even if it had been months ago, but they had nothing better to gossip about and just wanted a reason to talk about someone. Sometimes he heard good things about her and some, but that type of talk came with anybody.
Blake was pretty sure her name was Parker. He heard too much of others gossip when he was sitting alone doing nothing in class. Parker was a gorgeous girl. No one had said that. He had realized he was staring at her and he quickly averted his eyes when the teacher began to talk to the class."I'm a little pissed that I have to do after-school duty because I have papers to grade. So, I'll be in my classroom. I'll poke in here every now and then to make sure you aren't being hooligans. Is that clear?" She spoke loudly and clearly. Blake nodded and leaned back into his chair, sneaking another glance at Parker before watching the teacher walk out with all of her papers. Almost instantly the two girls began to talk loudly about the party again and about how drunk they were going to get. The other guy just cranked his music up louder and went to sleep. He looked up at the clock and sighed. Another hour and a half to go.
He chewed on the inside of his mouth nervously and glanced back over at Parker. Blake had wondered what she would be like. Every new student they got he would hope he would get to them before all the assholes did so maybe he would finally have a friend. It was pretty rare to get new kids in Manuka though. Everybody was raised here and grew up together. Blake tapped his fingers against the desk, feeling his stomach tie in knots thinking abut talking to her. He promised himself he would do it before they left detention and if not then he'd just be pissed off at himself for losing that one chance. Better now than never. Blake took a deep breath and stood up and walked over to the desk across from her. He sat down in it, his eyes set on her. Blake cleared his throat lightly,"Um...Hi." He wanted to fucking slap himself. How awkward could he have made that, He laughed nervously to cover up the silence between them. Okay what should he say next? Fuck, his mind was blanking. No. God, he hardly even said ten words and he already made himself look awkward and creepy.
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Post by PARKER BRYNN O'CONNELL on Feb 19, 2013 21:04:27 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px]LOVELY GIRL WON'T YOU STAY? All my life I was blind, I was blind, now I see [/style][style=background-color: 1b1b1b; width: 200px; height: 300px; float: right; border: 0px solid #0e0e0e; padding: 8px; color: 454545; overflow: auto; text-align: justify; font-family: arial]It wasn’t like Parker was a stranger to detention. She was forever doing or saying something stupid that got her into trouble. It was basically a given at this point. She wasn’t necessarily one of those people who spent all their time in after school detention, but she wasn’t a “goody two shoes” either. The difference was that this was Parker’s first time in detention since moving to Manuka. She had been trying to avoid it, mostly because her mother had pleaded with her to try to have a good senior year. Parker figured her mom was just worried about Parker doing something dumb that’d hurt her chances with colleges. She didn’t have to worry about it though; there was no way Parker was going to jeopardize her chances of having a permanent home for four years.
So this had been a bit of a mistake for Parker, a momentary slip of control. Could she be blamed for the reason though? She had gotten her ass in detention after punching this kid who wouldn’t leave her alone. Parker rarely relied on physical confrontation – she was only five feet tall and had very little muscle on her, making her almost no competition – but by this point, she was at a loss. It was partially Parker’s fault and she knew that. This guy had expressed interest in her sometime within the first couple of weeks Parker had lived here and Parker, being new and rather lonely in a sea of strangers, hadn’t exactly rejected him even though she had no interest in dating him. Parker had seen it as a way to make friends, or at least her version of friends. Just some people to sit with in classes and at lunch. She figured the guy would eventually realize Parker didn’t return his feelings and that would be that. Everything had worked out according to plan except for the last part.
Instead, the guy had somehow gotten it into his head that Parker did like him back but was playing hard to get. Not wanting to rock the boat, Parker hadn’t said anything even though she should’ve. If she ignored him, he’d get it, she thought. That didn’t work, however, and ended up just pissing him off. Today was the day he decided to confront Parker and was being an asshole about it. She told him over and over that she wasn’t interested and it wasn’t because of him (because he was a good guy in general) but because she didn’t date and he still didn’t get it. He had decided if he kissed her, she’d change her mind and that was the point where Parker punched him, giving him a bloody nose. Clearly, that hadn’t gone unnoticed and Parker had been called to the principal’s office almost instantly. He warned her this kind of behavior wouldn’t be tolerated and would’ve normally warranted suspension, but he was cutting her a break since she hadn’t been a regular troublemaker at Gracedown High.
Now Parker had her first day of her two week detention. She had no clue what kind of people were going to be there and wasn’t about to hurry into the room. In some of the schools Parker had been in, the only kids in detention were the scary ones, the ones that looked like they’d kill you if you happened to glance at them the wrong way. Those had always seemed like the longest detentions to Parker. If it was like that here, there was no way Parker was going to spend more time than necessary there. The girl had waited until the very last possible second and then made her way to the room whose number was marked on her detention slip.
She walked in, keeping her eyes glued to the ground. No need to make unwanted eye contact, now was there? That could cause unwanted trouble and she just wanted to get through the next two weeks as quickly as possible. Besides, there wasn’t much to look at. Parker could hear two annoying voices chattering away about things she could care less about and some loud, muffled music coming from someone’s headphones. She headed straight for a desk that wasn’t near any of those three people, quickly catching a glimpse of the last occupant in the room, who was a really tall kid sitting quietly by himself. Clearly he wasn’t putting up with everyone else’s shit either.
It was going to be a long hour and a half. Especially since Parker was getting the feeling of someone staring at her. She always felt so uncomfortable under someone else’s gaze, like she was being silently judged or something. It always made Parker squirm. What exactly could he be looking at? She wasn’t all that interesting or exciting. The only thing was that she was new to detention and that was about it. No reason to be staring. Parker stared down at her desk, nervously rolling a pencil between her fingers. She thought if she ignored it, the feeling would go away.
Parker thought it might’ve worked, seeing as how as soon as the teacher started talking, the feeling stopped. She quickly peeked over her shoulder just to check. Yup. He was paying attention to the teacher and not her. She could breathe easy now without the curious stare on her. Only, it didn’t last long. As soon as the teacher left, the guy stood up and came and sat at the desk across from her. Parker really had no idea what was going on. Was he coming to tell her she had something stuck in her hair or something? That’d explain the whole staring thing.
All he said was hi, however. Oh. Well Parker had been entirely paranoid and completely overreacting. Clearly, he just wanted to pass the time, make it go a little bit quicker. Parker could appreciate that. “Well hello to you too,” she responded, not really sure what else to say. Parker had seen this kid around school. He wasn’t in any of her classes or anything, but she saw him every so often in the halls and sometimes in the cafeteria. To her, anyone who was so tall was fascinating and caught her attention. Parker had asked one of the girls she normally sat with about him and she had just given a dismissive answer, saying he was practically a nobody. Parker had hated hearing the girl say that, thinking it was rude to call anybody that. She had had half a thought to say hi to the guy before, but never could bring herself to do it. He seemed so unapproachable every time Parker saw him and she wasn’t about to invade his personal space. But it meant she could make the most of it now, right?
[style=letter-spacing: 2px; border-bottom: 2px solid; padding: 2px] ENOUGH | CIRCE/BLAKE <3 | OUTFITUGH THESE TWO ALREADY THOUGH [/style] |
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 because allyallyally is the raddest motherfucker <3 |
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Post by BLAKE NEIL LEWIS on Feb 20, 2013 1:58:47 GMT
i feel numb most of the time [/i][/font][/size] THE LOWER I GET THE HIGHER I'LL CLIMB[/center]
Blake had no idea where that sudden urge of confidence came from to make him go over to her. He literally had nothing to lose. The most she could do was tell him back off and he would. Blake was used to rejection anyways. He thought back to the day where he had gotten stood up for a date. The one time he had mustered up the courage to ask this girl she had left him hanging with no explanation. Blake had sat at the amusement park for hours just hoping she would show up. If it hadn't been for that random stranger to cheer him up he didn't even want to know what he would have done to himself when he returned home that night. Blake didn't want to think he would have committed suicide over a girl, but it was more than that. He was sick and tired of being ignored. Blake didn't like feeling like he didn't matter. He already got enough of that shit at home. Blake had to deal with it again at school and it was torture. He would not wish the melancholy feeling that was always hovered above him on anyways. Blake was just glad on that night he went home with high hopes.
The girl he had met at the amusement park did like everybody else did to him and someway or another stopped talking to him. Blake never expected that out of people when they began to talk to him. At some point they would leave him and he chose to accept that. Blake was so glad this was his last year of high school because he could finally leave the booty ass school. As soon as he hit eighteen he was moving out and he didn't care if he was financially ready or not. Blake literally had no money saved up, but he would find out a way. His parents had some money saved up for him for college. Most of the money went to Chase since she was the 4.0 GPA, even though she got those grade from sucking dick. Blake had applied to a few colleges and he knew there was very little chance of him getting in because of his record. He had a lot of suspensions, one expulsion, and one police record, and no type of extracurricular activity. Unlike his siblings, he hated sports and wanted nothing to do with him. Blake knew his life would never amount to nothing. It was all his parents told him anyways, so why wouldn't he believe it?
Blake wanted to prove them wrong. It was just so hard to that when his sister was the apple of their eye. He came home with Bs and Cs and they looked at him with disgust when he worked hard for those grades. Even his teachers told him he was doing a good job, especially compared to when he started high school and he chose not to give two fucks about his work. Blake only did that to get his parent's attention and it had worked, but as soon as he was punished they went right back to their same old routine of kissing Chase's ass. It was never good to dwell on his asshole parents. He pushed those thoughts away and focused back on Parker. Blake always had trouble talking to girls. He had never had a girlfriend in his life. Not even those three day girlfriends in elementary school. Blake didn't have his first kiss until last year when a drunken girl took pity on him and the kiss after that was the same story. And he wondered why he had a low self esteem.
He had a low self esteem, sure, but he learned over the years that if he wanted to get shit down he couldn't be so shy and scared to do things. Blake used to let everyone walk all over him. He used to dread group projects in school (he still does really) because they would either take full control and ruin it or put all the work load on him. Blake didn't take anyone's shit now when it came to his grades. He knew what he had to do to get by even if it made him feel awkward as hell. Blake figured that was just a part of life and a way of learning even if it did suck ass. Approaching Parker had been one of those things. He wanted to go talk to her so he just went in did it even though he was fucking scared.
This year he was just being fearless because he was really tired of the bullshit he had dealt with for those four years and even in middle school. Blake would go talk to Parker because he wanted to and he had no reason not to talk to her. There wasn't anything wrong with him. Sure, he was a bit weird and he had no friends, but he could still talk to her. Everytime he saw she was with at least one or two people. He wasn't sure if she considered them friends. The people he occasionally talked to in class weren't his friends. Blake got so frustrated with girls when they called random ass people they're "besties" when they only talked to them inside of school. Blake had learned that people only spoke to you in class to pass the time because they were bored, so after awhile he just began to shut them out. If they were going to do that to him than he'd rather they fuck off.
Blake felt his face grew hot when she answered to his greeting. He looked down at the ground, smiling to himself. Blake fidgeted with his thumbs for a few moments and met eyes with her again. He let out another nervous laugh,"I'm, uh... Sorry for bothering you. I just, uh. I've seen you around a lot and...Um, yeah." Blake fumbled over his choice of words and his face grew even hotter. He bit on his bottom lip for a few seconds before sighing."Okay...Fuck it. I'm Blake. You're Parker. I just wanted to meet you and that's that." He took a deep breath and he wanted so badly to hide behind his hands or run off. One of the girls who were talking loudly looked over at Blake as he began to talk. She kept on with her conversation, but kept an eye on those two while they spoke. Nosy ass people. Blake's blue eyes stopped on Parker again, hoping she wasn't freaked out by him. She was just so small and short. He towered over her like a building or so it felt like it. Blake sighed again,"And, uh, I'm sorry for being weird..." He ran a hand through his short hair and let his hand fall back into his lap. Blake looked back over to the door to see the teacher peeking her head for a second and walking loudly back to her classroom. He was nearly shaking with how nervous he was talking to her.
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Post by PARKER BRYNN O'CONNELL on Feb 22, 2013 7:30:45 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px]LOVELY GIRL WON'T YOU STAY? All my life I was blind, I was blind, now I see [/style][style=background-color: 1b1b1b; width: 200px; height: 300px; float: right; border: 0px solid #0e0e0e; padding: 8px; color: 454545; overflow: auto; text-align: justify; font-family: arial]Parker really had no clue what to expect out of this spontaneous conversation. All she knew about the kid was that he was super tall, he was a senior like her, and he was now in detention, also like her. She didn’t even know his name, which she felt really awful about now. She should’ve pestered people more to figure it out. To be fair though, Parker had no clue she’d ever be talking to him. It sounded really rude to say that, but it was true. She couldn’t meet every person in this school before they graduated nor did she want to. That was too many people to keep at arm’s length. Sure, she missed out on meeting some really great people that way, but that was the sacrifice Parker made to make sure each transition from place to place went as smoothly as possible.
That had been her mistake though, clearly. Parker had no clue why he’d want to talk to her – she wasn’t all that interesting nor was she someone who really stuck out – yet here they were. In all honesty though, she was just over thinking it. When it came down to it, she was probably the most approachable person in this room right now. The two girls who were deep in conversation probably wouldn’t appreciate a third wheel inviting itself and any sane person wouldn’t dare bother the kid with the headphones. Parker was probably his last (and only) choice to waste away the detention time with.
Though Parker couldn’t figure out why he’d be so nervous to talk to her. He certainly seemed nervous at least. The girl wasn’t really an intimidating person, she thought. Quite the opposite, actually. Unless of course you were the guy who Parker had just punched, but that had been a last resort kind of thing. An isolated event. So he didn’t have to be worried about anything like that. Apparently that wasn’t the kid’s worry though, because he soon voiced what it was. He was afraid of bothering her? How in the world could he think he was bothering her? It wasn’t like Parker was in the middle of anything and it was nice not having to sit here by herself whole twiddling her thumbs for the next hour and a half. She was surprised by him having seen her around though. Parker was pretty sure she blended in with everyone well enough to not stand out, but she guessed she hadn’t escaped his notice. Well that was interesting. Oh well. Parker was about to tell him that he wasn’t bothering her when he continued talking.
He knew her name? Well now Parker felt worse about not knowing his, though he did just tell her what it was. Blake. She’d have to remember that but she doubted she’d be able to forget it. The more surprising thing, though, was that Blake had wanted to meet her. Why her out of all people? Sure, Parker was relatively new to Gracedown High but she wasn’t the type of girl you looked at and said “hey, I want to know her.” And if she ever did come off that way, it was simply because she was new and nothing else.
Blake, on the other hand, was actually interesting. At least to Parker he was. She had never met anyone quite like him, and she knew that only from a couple seconds of interacting with him. How many people could look so nervous and unsure and then whip out a sentence like that that had so much confidence behind it? Parker would have to guess the number wasn’t that high. It was such mix of contradicting attitudes and Parker felt like it was going to take more than a hot minute to figure him out. “You wanted to meet me?” Parker repeated, almost as if she hadn’t understood him correctly. It had been loud and clear though; the words were still looping in her brain. The girl was pretty sure no one had ever told her that before. “Why, have you heard good things about me?” she teased, though not in a malicious way. That much was clear with the big smile on her face.
And then his mood changed again, swinging back towards the unsure side of things. That was quick. Parker watched as Blake ran his hand through his hair, tilting her head a tiny bit to the side. He actually looked like he was going to puke. The biggest thing she didn’t understand was why he was saying sorry. “Don’t apologize,” Parker told Blake. If there was anything she believed it was that you should accept the way you were and fuck anyone else who thought badly of you because you didn’t fit into their idea of perfect. “Besides. You’re not being weird,” she assured him, leaning back in her chair. Mind as well get comfortable if she was going to be here for awhile.
Except Parker didn’t know how to small talk. She had never practiced the art of talking about shit that didn’t matter with people you hardly knew. Didn’t seem like a good skill to have, at least not to Parker. Right now though, she wished it was something she even had an idea of how to go about it. The girl didn’t want to make it seem like the conversation was going to be one sided, like Blake was going to have to think of everything if he wanted this to actually go anywhere. That was just a bitchy move. But what was she even supposed to say? Hey, what do you think of the weather? No. That was just dumb.
Parker flipped through different conversation starters in her head (at least the few she knew she had) and didn’t think any of them could work. So instead, she just pulled something out of the air. “So what awful thing did you do to get into detention?” Parker asked, figuring that could work well enough. It never crossed her mind that it might not be a subject he wanted to talk about. She knew she didn’t really want to talk about her reason, seeing as how now when she looked back on it, it seemed really dumb.
[style=letter-spacing: 2px; border-bottom: 2px solid; padding: 2px] ENOUGH | CIRCE/BLAKE <3 | OUTFITCIRCE I CAN'T DO THIS ALREADY DYING [/style] |
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because allyallyally is the raddest motherfucker <3 |
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Post by BLAKE NEIL LEWIS on Mar 24, 2013 2:11:49 GMT
i feel numb most of the time [/i][/font][/size] THE LOWER I GET THE HIGHER I'LL CLIMB[/center]
If he had to pick he would say the one thing he did actually like about himself was that he was fearless in many situations because he literally had nothing to lose. Blake had a short list of people who cared about him and no type of future ahead of him, so what really was there for him to lose? He was leaving this school in not even a few months and he'd probably never see this girl again. Rejection was a bitch, but he'd eventually get over it. It was pretty sad that he was instantly assuming she would reject him. That was what he was so used to getting, he only anticipated it before he actually let himself get hurt. Eventually all those he talks to do leave him. Blake couldn't name one friend from school that actually stuck around him. He had Darby, but she wasn't exactly in school anymore and there for him when he had to deal with all those assholes.
Blake had maybe one other friend, but she was too ashamed to talk to him in public. Now that was so cliche it hurt. He just wanted, for once, a genuine person to come into his life and embrace him even with all the baggage he had. Blake was so tired of being lonely. He was holding onto the small hope that things would get better after high school. That maybe he would meet some amazing people and not about to worry about feeling alone ever again. Blake knew that was a far stretch though. He never hoped for too much so he wouldn't get his hopes up, only to get them smashed down.
Maybe taking this chance and talking to Parker would make a difference. Blake just prayed that he wouldn't fuck this up with her. He always said the wrong thing that completely turned someone away from him. Considering he hadn't had a stable friend since basis school in Holland, no wonder he didn't know how to act around people his age. Blake always got along better with older people anyways. Dealing with depression and self harm at such a young age, he was forced to grow up young and mature, so naturally he got along much better with mature people. Blake would walk through school and just wonder how teenagers could be so selfish and immature. He had to remind himself daily that his mind didn't run like theirs and he had to watch what he said and did because they could easily take it the wrong way. Blake had gotten into a fight one time only because he made a comment about someone's work ethic. It was completely stupid. People always wanted to pick a fight for literally no reason these days. It pissed him off so much.
He literally could not wait for the day he would graduate. Blake wouldn't have to deal with detention anymore. Yet, this detention was actually looking up. Parker seemed like a friendly girl so there was a chance. Blake just couldn't stop blushing every five seconds. It was hard to talking to girls for him. Especially pretty girls. She had a natural beauty and didn't need to coax on tons of make up each morning to look like all the rest of the girls. Parker had this unique look about her that was so beautiful to him he couldn't explain it. He would always catch himself staring at her whenever he saw her in the hallways. Blake felt like such a creep and now talking to her he felt the exact same way again. He had a history of being "creepy" when it came to females. It started with one girl who spread rumors about him and it spread and spread. The rumors had died years ago, but it still stung. The girl had tons of guy friends who had no problem throwing him around a bit. Blake had to get stitches from one incident, but he never spoke about it. Not even to Trace. He just told everyone he was skateboarding and he fell pretty hard. They believed him so he never brought it up again. Blake kept a lot of those little stories to himself and the pain built up. The built up so bad he began to self harm.
Blake didn't mean to, but he laughed at her question. She couldn't be serious. Why wouldn't he want to her? He smiled widely at her slight teasing. Blake shrugged, a playful look starting to register on his face."I don't know... I've heard some pretty bad things. Kinda starting to regret coming over here. I think they were right about you." He said teasing tone, a smile still pulling at his lips. Blake laughed lightly, looking back down at the ground. It was nice to actually joke with someone for a change. Most people just looked at him in confusion with his sarcasm or they took him seriously. Either they were incredibly stupid or his sarcasm was really that good that it sounded real. Or did that make it bad sarcasm? Blake never understood that.
Now he felt stupid for apologizing. He was never satisfied with anything. Blake was about to apologize for apologizing, but he quickly bit his tongue before he made himself look even more like an idiot. Blake let out a small laugh,"Well that's a first. Thanks." He replied regarding the weird topic. Blake knew it wasn't a compliment, but the thanks slipped out last minute before he could even think about it. He cursed under his breath and met eyes with her again when she blurted out a question. Blake's smile extended slightly wider,"It's lame, so please don't laugh." He paused to give her a look, which he couldn't do seriously."I got caught using profanity. Apparently 'dickhead' and 'fucking pussy' are curse words? Did you know that?" Blake said with heavy sarcasm. It was such a release to actually have a decen conversation. He couldn't believe he was actually talking to her. It felt surreal."What about you? I hope it's something badass." Blake laughed, shaking his head. He looked up to see the teacher peek her head in and quickly make her way down the hallway again. Blake looked back at the others in detention and put his attention back on Parker as she began to speak again.
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Post by PARKER BRYNN O'CONNELL on Apr 8, 2013 18:56:44 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px]LOVELY GIRL WON'T YOU STAY? All my life I was blind, I was blind, now I see [/style][style=background-color: 1b1b1b; width: 200px; height: 300px; float: right; border: 0px solid #0e0e0e; padding: 8px; color: 454545; overflow: auto; text-align: justify; font-family: arial]"Oh really?" Parker asked, a teasing smile on her face. "Then you've got the wrong sources." Though to be perfectly honest, Parker didn't think there could be that many good things to say about her. She was snarky to people she didn’t know and snarky to those that she considered acquaintances. It was a wonder that anyone ever stuck around. There were a few times when she could actually be a civil person and hold a conversation without being a bitch – much like right now – but those times were few and far between. “You still have time to get away, you know.” The teasing smile only grew with the addition of that statement.
In all honesty, she couldn’t even begin to know why she was being so cordial with Blake. That wasn’t typical for her. Normally, she would’ve snapped at a stranger and told them to fuck off. But there was something about Blake, something that Parker instantly liked even though she couldn’t lay her finger on what it was. She just got the feeling that he wasn’t an asshole like most guys their age. Maybe that was why she felt the need to be nice to him. While she out on a bitchy front, she wasn’t like that once she let you get past that barrier. She couldn’t justify being mean to him when he had done nothing to indicate that he was a jerk. Besides, he had done nothing but make her smile since he had come over here. Or it could be simply because they were in detention together and could bond over the stupidity of their school’s authority figures. Either way, all Parker knew was that she was being relatively nice and she thought maybe it was okay this time.
And she liked making him laugh, too. That came as a sudden realization to Parker, who rarely found joy in making others happy. When she had to talk to other people, she liked to make the conversation go as quick as possible and she rarely focused on the emotions of others. But Blake had a really good laugh, the kind that made others around him smile. Just being around him was putting Parker into a good mood, even though they were stuck here in detention. She had a feeling that if her detentions went like this for the next two weeks, she really wouldn’t mind being here. They’d hardly feel like punishment.
When Blake made Parker promise to not laugh and gave her a (somewhat) serious look, Parker found herself instantly nodding in agreement. She couldn’t imagine what he could’ve done that would be lame to land himself into detention. Despite promising to laugh, Parker still found herself doing so, not because she was laughing at Blake and his predicament but because the way he described it was entertaining. How was she supposed to not laugh when he poured on such heavy sarcasm? She always found dumb stuff like that hilarious. “I’m sorry,” she apologized, hoping that Blake hadn’t thought she was laughing at him. “I’m not making fun of you. I’m just surprised that they’d think that was a big enough offense. How much time did they give you?” Seriously, the administrators at this school could be so dumb sometimes.
Then Blake asked Parker what she did and Parker found herself frowning slightly. He was going to think she was such an asshole, especially compared to his reason. Normally, Parker didn’t give a single fuck about what people thought about her. It was their problem, whatever impression they got of her. Parker didn’t have to deal with it. But she found herself wanting Blake to think highly of her, even if he hadn’t heard the best things. The girl didn’t know why it was so important to her but it just was and if he had already heard awful things about her, she figured that this would only confirm it.
Well, she mind as well tell him the truth, right? She figured rumors would circulate, not that she was vain enough to believe that the school gossip mill revolved around her or anything. But people would be curious about the bruise she most certainly left on the guy’s face. Sure, he might lie and try to make the story behind the bruise sound tougher than it really was, but Parker knew there had been some witnesses who would be more than glad to get their fifteen minutes of fame by knowing the “true” story. Hopefully, Blake just wouldn’t think the worst of her.
“I uh, I punched this kid in the face,” Parker admitted, shrugging her shoulders as if it was no big deal. Maybe if she acted like it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be. But she also felt like she needed to give the explanation behind it to make it sound a little less bad. “He tried to kiss me, even though I told him I only liked him as a friend. I don’t know. I had to call my dad to let him know why I’d be late. He thought it was pretty funny but I’m going to be in a world of trouble with my mom when I get home.” Maybe that clarification would help her case.
She still didn’t feel like it would and Parker found herself babbling. Oh god. If Blake didn’t think she was an awful person, he was going to think she was one that just rambled on. Parker didn’t know what was wrong with her. She never acted like this and yet she was now. “I promise I don’t go around punching people,” she said, adding a small laugh to emphasize how ridiculous that would be. Like little Parker could ever be all that threatening. “I just panicked and I wasn’t sure what else to do to get him off me.”
[style=letter-spacing: 2px; border-bottom: 2px solid; padding: 2px] ENOUGH | CIRCE/BLAKE <3 | OUTFITTHESE BABIES OF OURS <3 AND I HOPE THIS POST IS OKAY. IT SOUNDS ICKY TO ME. [/style] |
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because allyallyally is the raddest motherfucker <3 |
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Post by BLAKE NEIL LEWIS on Apr 25, 2013 22:28:53 GMT
i feel numb most of the time [/i][/font][/size] THE LOWER I GET THE HIGHER I'LL CLIMB[/center]
Blake was pretty sure being a Lewis came with the awkward behavior. He would look at his brother and even wonder how he kept as many friends as he had. Even he found himself cringing sometimes at things Trace said. That was at least one thing they could bond on because other than that he was basically sat up on a pedestal. Blake was only so to himself and secluded because he was forced into being that way by his peers. On the inside he was crying for some type of attention from somebody. Even with those who did give him the time of day, he found himself pushing them away as well. They would eventually leave him or hurt him in some way. He was only trying to avoid the pain from it all. Blake knew as soon as his detention was up Parker would probably go back to her life and act as if he didn't exist. They all did that. It had been that way for years.
He didn't think badly of her at all. Blake just knew as soon as he felt himself opening up to her she would jet off. If not, then he would probably only push her away. It was like a double edged sword for him. Blake would just enjoy the socialization with her while he could. He would milk it for what it was worth. Blake would have to make sure to remind himself not to let himself get too deep into how he felt toward Parker. She did seem like an amazing girl, but he had no place in her life and she probably would realize that sooner or later. Blake didn't know if he just had bad luck with people or what. He was getting extremely fed up with getting the short end of the stick when it came to everything. Blake knew it was extremely unrealistic for someone to be unhappy everyday.
The only thing that kept him sane was the internet. Without it he had no idea what he would do with his life. Considering he was grounded, he hadn't seen his laptop in about a month. He was lucky he even still had his phone. His parents were too hard on him sometimes. Blake tried to push all the negative thoughts away for that time being so he could focus on Parker. She was the only good thing to happen to him that month. Getting through the day was a struggle for him. He looked foward to getting home and going back to bed as soon as he woke up to get ready for school each morning. Blake was tired of the same shit every day. It was the same shit just a different day. Parker was the only interesting thing to pop up and he was taking advantage of it while he could and she didn't seem to mind much either.
Blake felt himself growing a bit more comfortable around her. He didn't feel his anxiety freaking out. The only problem he had was finding out what to say. Blake never knew what to say to people he first met without being obvious about trying to get to know them. He didn't want to pry her like that, so he just tried to stay in the moment and not focus on what he was going to say later because he knew he would start to zone out. Blake didn't want to disrespect her like that. He loved her smile so much. It was so infectious and he didn't want to look away, but of course he had to because that'd be creepy if he just stared at her the whole time he spoke. Blake laughed again and shook his head,"No, I have wonderful sources." He said in a mock offended tone."But I think I'll be a rebel and stick around." Blake grinned at her, glancing around the room once more. Ever since the incident he was constantly on his guard. He was grateful it didn't mentally scar him as bad as he thought it would.
Blake knew some people who would jump at even the slightest noise and relive the moments all over again. He already got enough of that in his dreams, Blake didn't need to see it in front of him like a mirage. The way she tried her best not to smile was so cute. He just wanted to grab her face and squish her cheeks together. Everything about her was just so squeeful, he couldn't even find a word to describe it that was even remotely manly. Parker began to laugh at his story and he put on a very dramatic sad face. He failed to keep it and began smiling moments later."You promised. I don't think I can trust you now." Blake said while she continued to laugh and he found himself joining her seconds later. The situation was actually pretty stupid the way he explained it. Blake would rather keep the full story from her because it would only make him appear lame, which he was pretty sure his entire being already radiated. He'd rather keep the depressing details away from her.
He sighed and shook his head in frustration when she asked him how long he had detention. Blake didn't understand the logic of the adults who worked at the school."I've got it for a damn month. I have a bad track record, so they see a my file and just go "Op! It's like home to him now, make it a fucking month!". It's dumb. And the sad thing is they'll probably extend it if they even catch me breathing too hard." Blake said, ending the sentence with a laugh. It was fucked up, but he would have to try and make a joke out of it so he wouldn't get too angry. He didn't know where the rant had come from or that he had even been that angered by it. It just felt nice to blurt it out. Blake apologized a moment later for cursing again. He had a potty mouth and he knew it. Blake couldn't help it. Being around Trace and his friends make him catch onto it. Trace's "friend" Kenna had the mouth of a sailor, so he eventually picked it up. She was at his house quite a bit and whenever Trace wasn't there she would just sit and talk with him (and mostly make him uncomfortable) until Trace showed up. Then Blake would make sure to leave as soon as possible because hearing his brother have sex wasn't on a list of things he liked.
Blake was really curious as to what she did. Especially this being her first year at the school she couldn't have done something too bad. They usually let girls like her off the hook quite easily. Blake's mouth went from a small smile to a big 'O' in a matter of seconds after she said what she did."Really?!" He couldn't help by laugh as she began to tell her story. Blake quieted down as she continued to explain. He nodded as she continued to speak."Shit! I woulda punched the dude in the face too. Don't be ashamed. Girl power or whatever." He laughed, shaking his head at his own stupid words."And your dad sounds hella cool. Just stay clear of your mom while you can." Blake chuckled and glanced up to see the teacher poke her head in again. The girls up in front went right back to speaking loudly as soon as she left. Blake was trying his best to tune them out.
He focused back on Parker and smiled as she spoke again. Blake shook his head,"He sounds like an asshole. Did you at least leave some damage?" He teased her lightly.
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Post by PARKER BRYNN O'CONNELL on May 12, 2013 16:10:44 GMT
[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=cellpadding,0,true][atrb=style, width: 500px]LOVELY GIRL WON'T YOU STAY? All my life I was blind, I was blind, now I see [/style][style=background-color: 1b1b1b; width: 200px; height: 300px; float: right; border: 0px solid #0e0e0e; padding: 8px; color: 454545; overflow: auto; text-align: justify; font-family: arial]"Oh really?" Honestly, Parker wouldn’t describe Blake as awkward. She thought they were having a rather typical conversation, despite the stumbling start. And she really did think Blake was adorable, even if Parker was still trying to get used to having that word in her vocabulary. What Parker couldn’t understand was why Blake was alone every time she saw him in school. Granted, Parker didn’t spend all her time stalking Blake or anything so she didn’t know what every moment of his life was like, but she still thought it was strange that there never seemed to be other people with him. From what Parker could tell, he was a huge sweetheart. She made a mental note to say hi to him whenever she passed him from now on.
It seemed like such a small gesture, but for Parker, it was a lot. She rarely went out of her way to do anything for anyone. It wasn’t that she was a selfish person – it was quite the opposite, once you got to know her – but because Parker just didn’t want to make that effort. She wasn’t a huge fan of putting herself out there. That was how people got hurt and she’d rather have no part of it. Trying to go out of your way for people showed you just cared too damn much and in the end, it was just a huge waste of energy anyways. Despite all that, she still felt the need to do that for Blake. Maybe it was because he seemed to have no one. That seemed to be the bet explanation to Parker, since she couldn’t think of any other reason.
Besides, why not? Like she said, Blake seemed like a really good guy. A “hi” now and then wouldn’t kill her and who knows? If Blake were really as lonely as Parker thought he might be, it’d probably be appreciated. She didn’t want to assume that she was anyone special just because she said a syllable to someone in passing, but the girl knew that whenever she unexpectedly ran into someone that she was friendly with, the brief interaction always seemed like a bright spot in her day. If she could pass that on to someone else, it was kind of her duty to. Especially to someone that she thought deserved it.
And they seemed to get along well enough. It was rare that Parker ever felt like she just clicked with someone, yet here it was happening. Normally, Parker would just ignore the feeling and the person, but she and Blake were getting along way too well for her to do that. She genuinely liked being around him, even if she had only started talking to him at the beginning of this detention. “Rebel, huh?” Parker teased back, a smile on her face. “I like it. It suits you.” In all reality, she was actually glad that he had decided he still wanted to be around her. She hadn’t said anything that offended him and made him want to get away as quick as possible. That was good.
Parker hadn’t missed the quick glance around the room and she knew it hadn’t been the first time he had. She was curious what he was looking for. It was almost like he was waiting for something to pop out from somewhere, though that was kind of jumping to conclusions. Parker wanted to ask but at the same time wasn’t quite ready to be that nosey. As comfortable as she was feeling around Blake, it didn’t change the fact that she had literally just met him and had no right to dig like that. If he really wanted her to know, she’d know, right? That was kind of how that stuff seemed to work.
She hadn’t had too much time to worry over it though. Their conversation moved quickly and before Parker knew it, they were laughing and joking like old friends might do. “I know I did. I swear I didn’t mean to laugh!” Parker explained. Thankfully Blake didn’t seem upset with Parker and even began to laugh with her. The girl thought he had a pretty good sense of humor, which was something that always attracted Parker to people. Not that Parker really tried to meet people, of course, but whenever she found out they had a good sense of humor, she tended to like them more. What wasn’t there to like about someone who was quick to laugh?
Though her good mood did dampen a bit at Blake’s next statement. She felt like he was trying to make the statement seem light hearted – especially with the little laugh at the end of his sentence – but it didn’t soften his words much. Parker couldn’t imagine getting detention so often that you practically lived in there. Of course, that was because Parker normally tried to stay out of trouble, but still. Instead of asking anything about that though, all Parker said was “You don’t have to apologize for swearing. Military dad. Used to hearing it all the time.” She didn’t know how to be comforting, even when she really wanted to be. It just came out weird and slightly sarcastic sounding. She didn’t want to sound like either when talking to Blake.
But his reaction to her reason for detention had been enough for Parker to push the though to the back of her mind. She really hadn’t expected such a positive response out of him. More like she was ready for him to scoff at the idea of such a little girl punching anyone, even though it kind of went against the impression of Blake’s character that Parker had gotten. And even though he had been laughing at Parker’s story, she knew it wasn’t of the mean spirited variety. The story really was funny and Blake’s laugh brought a smile to her face. His exclamation of girl power made Parker laugh along too. He really was a comical guy.
“I’m pretty sure I gave him a bruise at the very least,” Parker said, though she really hadn’t gotten a chance to see her handy work. Parker had been sent to the principal’s pretty much as soon as it happened. But she wouldn’t doubt there was a bruise. Her father had given her self-defense training, after all, and he hadn’t done a half ass job of it. He had wanted to make sure his daughter would do some damage if anyone made the mistake to try to hurt her. “I can’t believe I only got two weeks though, especially since you have detention for a month.” It really didn't seem fair though. What Parker had done seemed ten times more offensive than what Blake had done to get detention.
[style=letter-spacing: 2px; border-bottom: 2px solid; padding: 2px] ENOUGH | CIRCE/BLAKE <3 | OUTFITI'M ALL ABOUT THESE TWO <3333. [/style] |
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because allyallyally is the raddest motherfucker <3 |
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Post by BLAKE NEIL LEWIS on Aug 6, 2013 1:47:28 GMT
i feel numb most of the time [/i][/font][/size] THE LOWER I GET THE HIGHER I'LL CLIMB[/center]
Staying in a positive mind had always been difficult for Blake. He could be an extreme Debbie Downer most of the time. Most people didn't want to surround themselves around that and he understood why. Blake wouldn't want to be by a person who bitched all the time about how bad he had it either. When he didn't even have it bad at all compared to a lot of people. It pissed him off. Maybe he was just wired to be an unhappy person. He didn't know what his problem was. Blake had moments where he felt happy, but he could feel the darkness creeping back inside of him slowly and it would become harder and harder to smile. He remembered back when the depression first started. Blake would cry himself to sleep nearly every night. Now it felt like his eyes were as dry as the desert. Or maybe his heart grew numb to the pain. There was really no way of telling.
Blake despised on how he would dwell on such horrible things all the time. He wanted to wash his brain clean of all those bad thoughts. There would come a day where he would feel better, but he wished it would just come sooner. Each day was becoming more and more difficult. He was looking forward to graduating and dreading it at the same time. Good and bad things would come of it. Every situation had that to it. Like with Parker. It felt awesome to talk to her, but as soon as detention ended for her he'd go right back to a stranger and she wouldn't even glance his way once. His brain kept yelling at him to stop talking to her to avoid the feeling of rejection he'd get in the future.
Even though his instincts were telling him to back out while he still could before he actually started to like her, he found himself to speaking to her. Blake had a little hope that she wasn't like the others in this damn school. The people of Manuka were complete assholes. He wished he could back to the Netherlands. That was where he actually felt happy and at home. Sure he was home schooled, but the town he lived in was small and had friendly people. He remembered his first day in public school in America. It was hell and school was still hell for him. Blake had hated it from day one and he would all the way to the last day. Not one thing or person would make him enjoy going to school.
Blake's cheeks were actually starting to hurt from how much he was smiling. It wasn't like he was cheesing at Parker like a psycho, but he hadn't laughed that much in awhile. Well, laughed with a person that much. He pushed his full attention back into the conversation."Oh, so are you saying I look like I'm trouble? I'm not sure to be offended or flattered." He joked lightly. Blake knew he probably looked like some type of delinquent. He never spoke and he always had a pissed off look on his face. Well, he usually did and he had a reason to. It was really the only way so people wouldn't mess with him. If he at least pretended to look intimidating he may come off that way. It was a good tactic for him so far. He'd be able to drop it as soon as he graduated and he could work more on himself. Which sounded so corny and cliche, but he could give less of a damn.
He shook his head in mock hurt as he tried to hold back his laughter. Blake wished their conversation could go on forever. At least he'd see her in detention for a bit so they had an excuse to talk to each other. Blake usually didn't mesh well with females because they just made him nervous. She was so easy to talk to and they had just met. It was scary and amazing at the same time. It was perfect timing or something like that. Blake was up to here with having no friends and maybe she was his chance. He didn't know. He wasn't going to build his hopes up at all because that always ended up badly."You can swear all you want. I'm still hurt. I thought we had something going there." Blake turned away from her dramatically and glanced back at her and laughed."I can't stay mad at you. See, I've just met you and you've got this hold on me. Not healthy." He really wished he could joke with people like this more often. Blake usually only joked around with Trace because they had very similar sense of humors. He thought the world was full of boring people, but Parker showed up.
Blake's vocabulary was colorful so it was good to know that he wouldn't really have to watch his mouth too much around her. Girls got so offended sometimes when he used foul language, but he always felt so fake and not himself with he did that. He was already unhappy enough about himself, so he didn't want to act like someone he wasn't. Blake nodded,"Okay good. I'm not sure how long I could go without slipping up." He smiled sweetly at her. Blake felt like he hadn't talked this much in so long. He was scared he was being annoying. As soon as someone got him going it was like he couldn't stop. She'd probably tell him if he was being irritating. Parker seemed pretty chill and honest and he really liked that.
He hoped she gave him a bruise. What kind of guy forces himself upon a girl? Even after she tells him multiple times she isn't interested. Blake was proud of her sticking up for herself. Especially the fact that she punched him. Any normal girl would have ran off or slapped him, but Parker just went right on in there."Which hand was it? Looks like he didn't do any damage to your hands, so you did damage to his face. Awesome." Blake nodded, a big, goofy grin on his face. He shrugged at her next comment."I'm so used to it now it doesn't bother me as much as it used to. Life isn't fair. Hey, do you want to ditch this place?" Blake just threw the question randomly into there. He didn't want to be in there any longer. Blake usually wandered around the school anyways. They had such low security it was so easy. It was like they were just asking for him to do it. He'd like to bring Parker along this time.
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