set a course for memory lane [riley]

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Firetamers, for some strange reason, always tended to stick together in one way or another. Julian had grown up in a firetamer family, but not one even as close to prominence as the great Ellis clan. There had been a few of them that he knew, but none of them were really his friends. Matty had started hanging around with this one kid, Riley, who ended up coming to Julian's house on more than one occasion, and Julian sort of looked out for him as the two boys hit their awkward adolescent years.

Something about Riley was too good for his brother, and while back then, Julian had no idea what monstrous evil was lurking beneath the near-angelic face of his only brother, he knew that he didn't want Riley to be corrupted by it. Every now and then, he'd invite both of the boys to play basketball or go for a hike, something that would interest Riley and get his brother out of the house. Matty and Julian had quite a large age difference... eight years. And while he had been the cool older brother until Matty was about seven years old, it certainly didn't last forever.

His father explained to Julian once that they had gotten lucky with him, but Matty had been more difficult to make. Apparently, there had been fertility drugs involved, and his mother had gotten really sick during the entire pregnancy, but he was born, healthy and relatively normal. Or as normal as any firetamer child really could be. Julian doubted the existence of normalcy anymore; he had gone from being a living, breathing firetamer with hopes, dreams, and ambition to a ghost who was forced to roam the earth as a lonely soul.

Even though Julian was always much older than Riley, they got to be friends. Closer than Riley and Matty, at least, because the younger boy must have scared off Riley, just like he did with everyone else. They had quite a bit in common: fear of spiders, closeness with their family, the firetamer bond. Julian used to joke that he'd get Riley away from the dark side that seemed to take over his family and actually get him to help people for a change someday.

Someday, he'd said once, something would happen to make him change his mind and realize that life is very important. Julian had died before he ever got to see what Riley actually ended up doing, but he hoped with everything in him that the kid had gone off and found something good. Julian never left Manuka, even after death, so he did hear that many people who had known him mourned his passing: that kind of felt good, knowing that he'd at least made some kind of difference in the world and touched a few lives before his was cut short.

After his funeral, Julian tried to travel some, but found that he couldn't go very far away from his bones, so he mostly distanced himself from people. He stopped listening to the town gossip, stopped following his old friends and looking in on his parents. It was only when his parents had left that he actually started paying attention again, and some of the first news he got was news of Riley's death. There had been some terrible mess with him falling in love, getting duped by a hunter, and murdered just before he was about to propose to the woman of his dreams. Even though it didn't beat, Julian's heart had ached for his old friend.

For months, Julian waited by Riley's tombstone to see if his friend would turn up as a ghost, like he had. Maybe it would be a way for them to be re-united again, but after a while, he started giving up hope. Julian went back into the shadows, and only recently did he find the courage to step out and try to regain his old life back, in whatever way he could. Something in him told him that firetamers wouldn't be so accepting of a lonely ghost cramping their style.

Winter had been one of his favorite seasons, because he liked to feel the chill on his skin. Julian couldn't feel that chill anymore, but he did enjoy walking and practicing with his body in a corporeal state; it was something that he'd gotten pretty good at after being dead for eight years. He was walking through the Old Town, just past the rusty bike sheds when he saw him. Riley. Julian thought that his old friend's name had been a thought, but when he turned around, Julian realized that he must have called it out loud. They locked eyes, and Julian waited for him to run away, scared... but then again, Riley was dead too. Dead, but definitely not a ghost. ”Riley Ellis,” Julian said when they finally were closer to one another. ”I'd wager it's pretty safe to say that it's been too damn long.”

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OUTFIT:[/color] Here!
NOTES:[/color] OVER 800 WORDS, BUT I'M ALREADY SO EXCITED!! And I kinda got emotional while writing this...

[RILEY PRESTON ELLIS]

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and soon you'll lose the will to care

Riley had been everywhere and back again by now. He was surprised that he hadn’t run into anyone, but even more surprised that it wasn’t one of his family members. He was thankful though that it hadn’t happened because he was still not ready to see them. He hadn’t grown in confidence, nor had he accepted the fact that he had failed his cousin in being her guardian, the only person that could truly save her. if anything were to happen to her he was sure he would feel the entirety of her death to be on his shoulders. He couldn’t even bear the thought of it. She was far too precious and sweet and innocent to succumb to nature’s evilest ending. He would do anything in his power to keep her safe. Riley had tried finding Ryden, but he hadn’t been able to track him down. And every time he searched out Darby he wasn’t there. It seemed that he either didn’t want to be found, or it wasn’t the right time to find him—whatever those religious people said these days about “fate” and “destiny” must have been true or else he would’ve found the son of a bitch already. Riley just wanted to inform the fallen angel about what had happened, what he had done and how he was no longer able to protect her when he couldn’t. Ryden was the only thing now keeping her alive other than him, because Riley couldn’t do it on his own. Ryden was good for her. he took care of her and treated her with the respect and loyalty she deserved. Being her guardian made him realize how much he had missed out on with her and a lot of his other family members. He felt a heavy sense of regret, but he knew there would eventually be some time that he could make it all up.

The people he missed most in his family were his siblings though. Damon, who was his twin, his rock, his protector and friend; Aphrodite, who, while even though she picked on him and sometimes put him down, was never failing at bringing his spirits up and making him laugh; Rowan, his baby sister who was too precious for this world, who he cared about so much that it hurt; and finally Calan, who was more than a cousin to him; he was like a brother. Calan was the greatest firetamer in all of Manuka, maybe even this country, and he had always been so sweet and gentle to those who deserved it most, but never got recognized. He was the first to really see Riley for who he was and not what he put up as a front, and he was the one that first got him to realize that he was stupid for letting his life pass him by without living it like he should.

Calan had always reminded him of his childhood friend, Julian. Jules had always told him that he was good. Riley hadn’t realized what he meant until Calan pointed it out several times, making him crazy. But he knew now what Julian was talking about. It was funny because now he was a demon and everything demons stood for (mostly) was evil and wrong, and then there was Riley who now knew that he was nothing if not completely opposite of that. He no longer cared about the war or being on the dark side. He was just Riley. He neither wanted war nor wanted to help a cause. Humans would always be on this earth just as supernaturals would live here with them. There was no need for killing the opposite species just because you were either afraid of it or thought it was below you. Riley knew now that his family had the wrong mindset.

As Riley walked through the streets of the old town towards the bike sheds, he wondered how often his family even aided in the war. For people who claimed to be on the dark side, they really never did anything about it. They basically just thought they were better than everyone else and left it at that. It was really only the parents that truly were on the dark side because the kids, for the most part, were all really good like him. Riley thought that perhaps it was out of fear that they all claimed to be on the dark side than anything. Or perhaps it was because they didn’t want to be the disappointment to the family like that Sabrer who was a human among firetamers. It was unclear.

His thoughts vanished when he heard his name. He stopped and turned around confused. He knew that voice, but the man it belonged to was dead. When he saw Julian he was frozen for a moment. His face immediately softened and he smiled widely at his old friend. “Jules,” he said almost breathlessly. “Holy shit I thought for sure you’d never came back.” He walked to the man and wrapped his arms around him in a hug. He wasn’t ashamed to show that he was happy to see the man. “What are you these days?” he asked taking a good look at him. Riley had never realized just how much he missed Julian for after his death he tried to forget about it. He had never dealt with death well, and when someone he was so close to died, he almost shut down. It was why he was now so sad all the time and so self-loathing. He thought about it all the time, how he was a terrible person for not being able to save Issy, but really there was nothing he could have done. He just didn’t see it that way. Riley rarely thought good thoughts about himself, but rather good thoughts about people around him and why they were so much better. When he thought of himself all he saw was a pathetic excuse for a demon who would be better off in hell.

TAGGED:SEAJAY WORDS:A LOT OUTFIT: CLICK

THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION.

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[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Jules. The ghost couldn't help but grin, because really, he hadn't heard that nickname in forever. A lifetime, one could say. Riley had been the only one to ever call him that, and he never minded, because Riley had always been very close to him. Even if they weren't super close as friends because of the age difference, there had always been a pull to the other that Julian couldn't help. The ghost had never wanted him to get mixed up with the wrong people, especially with his own brother, and tried his best to watch out for him and protect him where he could. Not that any one of the Ellises would ever admit to needing protection. Now Riley was far from being the misguided youth of Julian's memory, and had grown up well. He was, and it pained Julian to say this because his mind was trying to block the thoughts and couldn't, a very attractive man. That's not right to think of him like that, Julian. Not Riley.

[/color] But it wasn't like they were actually brothers, or had even been close like brothers, there were just many years separating them, and he couldn't help that. Now, he suspected that Riley had to be in his early twenties, and he was frozen forever at twenty-six, the age he'd died, so they were closer now than ever before.

The young man embraced him, and Julian instantly felt his body settle. Human contact had been one of those things that he'd wondered about since he found out that he could actually hold a solid figure for any period of time. But man was it good. Julian breathed in, and hugged him back, and the hug seemed to linger a little longer, but there had been many years that had passed them by, and Julian had truly missed Riley. When he'd heard of the young man's death, he'd been devastated, just like he suspected Riley had been when he'd heard of Julian's eight years ago. When they broke, Riley spoke to him, and Julian responded. ”Well, I couldn't tell you why I'm back, but I've been back. Just not... visibly so,” he confesed. ”I just really got the hang of the whole bein' solid thing about two years ago, and I've only recently started showing my face in town. Matty's still in prison, you know.”

It hurt him to talk about his brother, because it hurt him to know that all of this had been caused by Matty. His jealousy, his inner rage, that darkness that Julian had tried to curb but never could had taken over, and led him to do the unspeakable. He was in a special prison somewhere serving a life sentence, and his parents had been forced to go through the rest of their lives with one son dead and the other rightfully pegged as a murderer. A murderer who had taken the life of his own brother, who had been nothing but good to him. Julian remembered the way people spoke of Matty immediately following his murder, and as much as they were right, it still hurt. Matty had been the one person he'd tried the hardest to save, and it had been his biggest failure and most costly outcome. The ghost wondered what Riley had thought of Matty, of everything, but never thought he'd get a chance to ask. ”You were at my funeral... that was the last time I saw you. You hadn't even reached six foot yet.” Riley had grown in many ways. Julian had to see him as the man he was now, because it was dangerous and sad to live in the past. Ghosts learned that hard lesson one way or another.

”Never thought I'd have something in common with Casper,” Julian joked as they walked toward the bike racks together and he perched on one, looking around the familiar setting, and then back at his old friend. ”And you... I heard you died, too. It... God, Riley, it was really hard for me to hear, that someone had killed you, too. I wanted to do something about it, but I just... I'm not the type to be a vengeful ghost. Never had it in me.” Julian looked down at his feet and smiled a little. Riley knew that he was always the good guy, the hero... the brave, strong older brother who had been taken out by darkness. And Riley, he had been taken out by a hunter who probably thought he was doing the right thing and didn't realize that there was so much good in the life he'd taken. ”What are you these days? I mean... you don't have to tell me. It's been a while, I don't expect you owe me anything at all. It's just really, really good to see you.”

There were so many things that Julian wanted to ask him when the silence fell upon their conversation. He could hear the young man's breathing, and took comfort in the fact that now he was sure the saying was true: you really could go home again. But, they were still getting to know each other again. Re-uniting, after all these years apart, after all the changes that had happened to both of them. Riley had gone on to live his life, at least, for a little while, and Julian had gotten to figure out how to reinvent his, and himself in the process. Yes, there were so many questions, and most of them, Julian thought would be pressing and possibly even out of his place to ask, even if they had been close to each other once upon a time. The one that stuck with him, though, was the one he had to ask. Because it was the one he'd always hoped for most where Riley was concerned. ”It feels funny saying it, but shit happens. Y'know? You just have to sorta roll with the punches, and I hope... I always hoped you...” Julian stopped, collected himself before the emotions got to be too much and looked right into the other man's eyes. ”Were you at least happy, for a little while?”

That had been what he always wanted for Matty, and even though he knew Riley had never been unhappy in the way Matty was, Julian had told him that he hoped he found some greater purpose, something larger than himself and his family that would show him how good life could be, to keep him from the darkness. And Julian always hoped, no matter where he was or what he was doing, that Riley had found it. Now he'd get to know for sure.[/blockquote][/justify]

[RILEY PRESTON ELLIS]

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and soon you'll lose the will to care

Riley had barely thought of Julian since the day he died. Seeing him again was something like a dream. He honestly couldn’t believe that he had come back and looking just as young as he once did. Riley was very bad at showing his feelings. Usually he put them all to the back of his head and forgot about bad things because he didn’t want to find any room for it in his life. Now that he was dead basically forever, all he could think about were terrible things, especially things he had done. The only reason Julian had never really crossed his mind was because he was so good. He was the only person who had ever seen that same good in him and Riley couldn’t think that that was true. If it were he wouldn’t have killed Tobias and he would still be guarding Darby right now. Instead he was a demon and that in itself was almost embarrassing. But there was nothing that he could do about it now and all he could do was try to make it up to Darby from behind the scenes.

Riley had a mix of feelings at the moment. One was happiness because he was seeing an old friend, one that he had been very close to. But on the other hand, he was afraid. He couldn’t be sure as to why, but it ran through his body in a split second. Just knowing that someone from his former life could find him made it all the more likely that someone from his family or one of his old friends would spot him. If anyone from his family, especially Damon, found out about his death then he would have to come clean about everything. He wasn’t ready to tell them about what had happened; not yet at least. But the happiness overcame that fear and he forgot about it almost instantly after looking at Julian’s face with a bright smile.

Riley nodded as Julian explained his situation. He knew how hard it was for ghosts to become solid after first dying and usually only when they had some kind of mentor did they ever really get the hang of it quickly. He was happy that Julian had figured it out though. If he was glad for one thing it was that he wasn’t a ghost. It wasn’t that he didn’t like them, of course he did, but he wouldn’t know what to do with himself if he were invisible to all creation except other ghosts. He’d go completely mad. He gave serious props to Julian for not going crazy like… well, his brother, Matty.

At the mention of his brother’s name, Riley noticed how Julian's face fell. Riley put a hand on his friend’s shoulder and squeezed it comfortingly. “I know,” he said softly with a melancholy smile. Within a moment, Julian’s face change from sorrow to anger and back again to somewhat happy. All he could really hope was that he was true in his emotions and wasn’t the kind of ghost that wanted revenge. Though Julian had never been the kind to want to hurt anyone, let alone his own family. Riley couldn’t see him even hurting a damn fly.

“Yeah, I was what, fourteen back then?” he laughed and shook his head. Before he and Julian had ever become friends, Riley was friends with Matty. He was six when he first met the ten-year-old firetamer named Matty. Their families knew each other from long ago what with being very big firetaming families, and they became friends almost instantly. But when he met Julian, things changed. Julian was more protective over Riley than Matty, who would sometimes poke fun at him for being small. Julian always had this way of making him feel at home. He showed him the good in people even when there didn’t seem to be any. Riley had looked up to Julian in many ways and when he died his world was crushed. So he pushed it all away, locked it in a place in his mind that wouldn’t come out so he wouldn’t have to grieve for his friend.

Riley laughed lightly at his little joke about Casper. At the mention of his own death, his smile faded. But he put it back on just for the sake of his friend. He didn’t want any sort of pity from him because he had enough for himself. “Yeah, a hunter caught me off guard.” It was all he could say without having to think about what he was doing that day and how oblivious he had been. “Don’t worry about not doing anything. My family is pretty much doing everything they can. Plus you wouldn’t hurt a fly, I know that,” he said and showed a genuine grin. “But thanks for at least wanting to.”

Riley shrugged. He had never kept secrets from Julian before, so there was nothing stopping him from telling his friend the truth now. He had always been able to trust him with anything and that trust remained even today. Julian was someone he could trust even with the most sensitive subjects. “No, I don’t mind at all,” he said and explained what had happened to him. He told him briefly about being a guardian and then about Issy and what happened with her and Tobias, about his falling and becoming a demon. Riley shrugged a little because he knew there was no going back. The only thing he could do was live his life as best he could. It did seem a little sweeter knowing that he had at least one person in his life that he didn’t have to hide from.

Riley gave half of a laugh at Julian. “Yeah, shit does happen. Why it happened to you, I don’t have any clue. But yeah…yeah I was happy. Issy, she was the greatest girl I’ve ever met.” He kept his emotions behind his usual mask. Even though he felt like bursting into tears at her death and never getting her back, his face remained almost emotionless. He hated looking weak or being pitied. He’d rather not go through all of these emotions once again because they were too much for him one time.

“On a lighter note,” he said with a small laugh, “what have you been up to these past eight years? Nothing bad, just good.” Riley said. He didn’t want to think about any sort of sadness anymore. There was too much of it in his world and he was sure in Julian’s, so he wanted to get off the topic of terrible shit in their worlds. Julian would understand because he knew Riley.

TAGGED:SEAJAY WORDS:A LOT OUTFIT: CLICK

THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION.

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[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

There was still a surreal feeling that lingered between the two men after they stopped embracing one another. When Julian had heard that Riley had died a year and a half ago, he had been devastated, but there was a twinge of hope that he felt guilty about that took up residence inside him. That twinge of guilt also made Julian all but camp out beside the younger man's grave just waiting to see if he'd pop up as a ghost. Some ghosts had mentors to help them cross over; Julian had learned that information as a boy because he had always been fascinated with the other non-humans that resided in the world, and his hometown.

Julian had always been on his own, and he knew that ghosts were usually created by those lost souls that still had unfinished business to take care of, or some tragedy that kept them from crossing over. He didn't think that he had any unfinished business, so to speak, but his death had certainly been tragic, and knowing what his brother had done just before he died might have been enough emotional turmoil and confusion to keep him from crossing over. Riley, on the other hand, seemed the perfect candidate for the 'unfinished business' ghost, given that he was murdered by a hunter just because of who he was.

Early on, Julian had gotten very good at being invisible, and so he was able to wander the crowded streets of Manuka and his old haunts (no pun intended) to listen to the rumors surrounding his childhood friend's death. He came to understand that the particular hunter that had gotten his hooks into Riley had been one whose main focus was on dwindling the numbers of large supernatural families, such as the one Riley hailed from. Even though Julian and his parents had aligned themselves with the light side early on, they kept it a secret from most people, just like humans sometimes kept political affiliation a secret from their close friends. Because, if the Ellises took a liking to you, they really were good, generous people. So long as you weren't human, of course. They had their problems, of course, but what family didn't? And the children they had brought into the world were such a mixed bag of personalities that Julian had always found them interesting. But, Riley had been the most interesting of all: the young Ellis boy with a desire to belong, somewhat overbearing parents, an eagerness to please, and a twin with very high, specific standards. Yet, deep down, there was a gentle soul that Julian knew would go untapped and unheard if he didn't step in and say something. He might have gotten to help him, and really make a difference in Riley's life if he hadn't been taken so soon.

Julian had laid the groundwork and made Riley aware of his own potential, but nothing more. ”You were still just a boy,” Julian said, remembering what a spirited adolescent he had been. ”Look at you now. It's like I barely realized how many years had gone by before seeing you again... and now it feels like a lifetime stands between us.”

It might have been a sad thought, but Julian was so grateful that he got to see Riley again. After he realized that the young man hadn't been destined to become a ghost, he all but lost hope completely. The ghost was surprised when he actually started telling his story, like the trust that had once been forged was still there, and nothing had changed. ”I'm surprised he's still around. Especially knowing Damon and how you two were,” Julian said, recalling Riley's brother with less fondness, but vivid memories. ”How is he? Or... was he, I guess? Did he turn out all right?” Julian wondered about all the Ellis children: Riley, Damon, Calan, Rowan, and the other ones he'd met, even though they were all so young.

Riley kept telling his story, and Julian listened intently, just like he was telling some sort of tall tale or other wildly imaginative tale like the ones his parents used to tell, when he was but a little boy. This wasn't a story, though – this had been Riley's life, and death, and the experiences in between that had changed him. ”I'm so sorry. I mean, I never got the chance to be in love, so I can't really imagine how you must feel.” Julian paused, because he really hadn't been in love, but the heart-wrenching agony that Riley described sounded remotely similar to what had hit him upon hearing news of the young man's death in the first place. ”I think... and this is just a theory, so bear with me. But I think... we don't get to know the reasons behind why the bad shit happens. We just get to keep the lessons that go with it.” For as melancholy as the story was, Riley's laugh was less bitter and jaded than Julian would have expected it to be. It was... accepting, almost, of his fate. Or maybe Riley was still reeling as he was by their meeting one another again.

There was a brief pause that lingered between them, and Julian caught the younger man's gaze and smiled, hoping that he would smile back. ”It's probably a little much, for now, but if you ever want to talk about her... about Issy... maybe when we're drunk. If you can get drunk. Or if I can get drunk; jury's still out on that. Haven't tried it, since, y'know,” Julian said, desperately trying to pull their conversation off the ledge. ”Anyway, if you just want to rant. Tell stories and all that, I'll listen. That's what friends are for, right? And that was something we always were... and I hope we still can be.” It seemed to be just what the doctor ordered to cheer Riley up and change the topic. Apparently, he wanted to know about Julian's existence.

”Well, there's nothing bad to tell, really. It's just boring,” Julian said honestly. ”I've been... here. Not socializing. Listening to the gossip with my ears wide open and not a care in the world because people can't see me unless I want them to. Or unless they're a ghost. I've been... getting the hang of all o f it. It's not that easy, truth be told. But now, I think I'm starting to get it, and I'm... ready to try to build a life again.” Julian nodded, mostly to himself in a way that cemented his answer. That's what he was looking forward to – the chance to start over in the place where everything both started and ended.

”What about you, Mr. Ellis?” Julian asked, wondering what the young man would say. It wasn't as if he had the limitations that Julian had, and he'd always been more vivacious and reckless anyway, even as a boy. ”What happens now?”

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[RILEY PRESTON ELLIS]

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and soon you'll lose the will to care

With Julian’s passing all that was good in Riley had all but disappeared. The only thing that had really kept Riley from going to the dark side altogether had been Julian and because he wasn’t there to keep him in line like he always had, Riley had gone towards what his family stood for most. He had been practically brainwashed into thinking that humans were the scum of the earth and that they should be treated as such. Of course he had had a few one night stands here or there with them, but they were so easy to take advantage of that it was too easy not to do it. But now he knew that he was wrong in his past doings. Julian was sort of the light at the end of his deep, dark tunnel and he was just now getting out of it because he was back. He felt rejuvenated like a new sort of life had been surged through him and he couldn’t help but smile even brighter at that little fact. He had missed Julian more than he knew. But he was glad that he no longer had to miss his dear friend.

Riley had powers like any other demon, but he hadn’t been caught up on them yet. He didn’t know any demons in his firetaming life, as he tried to stay far away from them, but now he wished that he had. It would be nice to have a mentor to teach him all of the tricks of the trade. He couldn’t imagine what Julian had to go through being a lonely ghost and wondering around with no one to talk to her teach him what to do. But at least Riley was visible. Of course he could go invisible, but Riley had never been the type of guy to go invisible anywhere unless it was escaping his house at night when he was younger to sneak out to parties. But now he wanted to be invisible unless he was at home for the sheer fact that his family would freak out if they saw him alive and he couldn’t face them now.

Riley grinned slightly because even in the most sentimental times, he could always find a joke somewhere. He tapped Julian’s arm and said teasingly, “More like two lifetimes…” Since both were dead it seemed pretty funny. But they were both dead, which wasn’t really funny at all. Riley knew the effects of his death on his family, but his brother especially. The two were as close as any siblings could be. They were practically twins, which funny enough Damon called himself Riley’s twin and Riley the same. They were inseparable since the time Riley had been able to walk and talk. Once they had (accidentally) slept with the same girl, who was coincidentally Issy. He knew Damon wouldn’t have done it had he known who she was and what she had meant to him, so it was more of a funny joke than anything. He wondered if Damon had told anyone about it since it happened, but doubted it very highly.

Speaking of Damon now was no longer a lighthearted thing. He always felt bad and wished he could see him. Riley had watched over his brother ever since he had died and become an angel. Even though Damon wasn’t his charge, he couldn’t help but keep an eye out for his brother who was mourning his loss so badly. He wanted so desperately to go to him and tell him that everything was okay, but it was impossible for that to happen right now. When Julian asked about his brother riley shrugged and shook his head. “He’s a good guy for the most part like he always was. He’s not really any different than he was when he was a kid other than the fact that he sleeps around more than a two-dollar hooker. And he thinks too highly of himself still, you know how he always thought he was a god. But he’s still Damon,” his chest felt tight and he sighed a little to try to relieve himself.

Riley had forgotten how good of a listener Julian was. Even when he was just a kid he could talk to Julian about anything, including his brother, Matty and how he had been mistreating him. Julian had actually believed him, too, which was surprising because he was rarely ever taken seriously or understood. But Julian was different and knew that Riley was telling him the truth and that made Riley like him that much more. He was sad that Julian had never before experienced love. It had been the sole greatest experience in his life and he would give anything to feel that again. “It’s okay,” he said. “It was great while it lasted though and I’m glad I could have the experience as long as it lasted. I just hated how it all ended, you know?” Riley nodded at Julian and his philosophical theory. “Thanks Dr. Phil,” he joked. “No, but I think you’re right. Although I don’t really know what lesson I could have learned from that one.”

Riley laughed because he hadn’t been drunk in a long time. “I haven’t tried it either, but tonight looks like the perfect night to try, don’t you think?” Because Riley rarely talked about his feelings, it was nice to finally get them off his chest. “Thanks,” he said at his offer to just listen while he ranted and talked his ears off. Riley doubted he’d ever have much to say about his death now that he had gotten it out once. But it was a kind offer, one he couldn’t just look past. “We’ll always be friends, Jules. No matter what. Death can’t even bring our stubborn asses apart,” he laughed. It was very true, too. And though Julian wasn’t necessarily stubborn, he had come back to Manuka as Riley had and they had somehow run into one another and because Riley was the stubborn sort, he wouldn’t let Julian go unless that was what he absolutely wanted. Now that he had been shown his light once again he didn’t want it to go out again.

He listened to Julian’s past captivatedly. His ghostliness must have been hard, though he knew Julian handled it easily. He was always good at adapting to survive and even though he hadn’t had much company then, Riley did want to make up for lost time. Now seemed like as good a start as any. “That makes two of us then.” Riley threw his arm across Julian’s shoulders and grinned widely. “Now…now we get drunk—if possible, which I’m hoping is because I really need to get drunk with an old friend tonight,” he said and started towards the center of town.

Riley led them to the Old Fisherman’s Pub where he had been more than a few times. He opened the old wooden door and looked around to make sure that no one he knew was inside. When the coast was clear, he walked in and took a seat at a table towards the back. A woman came by and asked what they wanted to drink and after they ordered, she walked away. “How long has it been since you had a good stiff drink?” he asked wondering if Julian had ever even been drunk before.

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[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

The ghost admired his childhood friend's ability to keep at least somewhat positive and a good sense of humor about the whole dying thing. Julian had been so bitter for so long about not only dying, but how it had happened. Hadn't he tried so hard to make Matty like him? Given his younger brother so many opportunities to talk to him about everything and anything he needed to get off his chest? Julian had done everything he could to keep Matty from going under, especially since he'd seen so early on that his younger brother was... troubled. Perhaps that was why he had always taken such a liking to Riley; as latent as the darkness in his own brother was, the goodness was just as strong and just as subtly hidden in Riley. So maybe Julian had tried to nurture that goodness to keep Riley from making the wrong decisions, and maybe his actions had hidden consequences that would finally come to a head one fateful night. Julian thought about his decisions, his life, and what he could have changed so much in the beginning, until he finally realized that he couldn't change it. No matter how he tried, he couldn't have changed his brother... this path he was walking on now was his destiny, and the thought that kept him from turning completely sour was the hope that maybe, just maybe, in trying so hard with Riley he had saved a life.

The man Riley became, the man that Julian still saw so much good in, stood before him now, with a childlike sense of joy hidden and tucked away with those facets that Julian had tried to nurture so long ago that it might as well have been two lifetimes, just like Riley said. ”Can't change it now, can we?” Julian said, giving a good-hearted laugh right along with his old friend, and realizing that Riley really had the right attitude. Whatever had happened was over, and now they had to keep right on moving, come what may.

At least Riley had somewhat of a longer connection than him with the living world, and Julian could live vicariously through stories, at least for a little while. It made him happy to hear that Damon was well, even if he hadn't changed much. Damon had the potential to be decent deep down, even if he wasn't as truly good as Riley, but Julian still had high hopes for the other Ellis boy, that he'd turn what could have proven to be a very quickly sinking ship around. From his tone, Julian supposed that he probably hadn't seen Damon since he died, which had to be hard on Riley, since they were so close. The ghost listened, and waited until Riley was completely done before inserting his two cents. ”You haven't seen him, though? Lately, I mean...” Julian said, then gauged the man's response. ”I'd hope you know I'm not the type to rush you, but you should see him... soon, but when you're ready. If you'd like, I can go with you. Freak him out well and truly.” Julian said, joking just a little so things wouldn't get too heavy, because he had a good sense that they were both still vulnerable. Trying to exist within the boundaries of an old life was hard, Julian knew, and for Riley it would only be harder because his entire family (and it was a very large family) wouldn't be leaving Manuka any time soon. Julian had no family left in the city, and while his parents were out there somewhere, he didn't have to worry about avoiding them, or spontaneously materializing and getting caught, or having to watch his every visible movement. Not like Riley did.

Despite the years apart, it was easy enough for them to fall back into their old roles, with a wiser Julian trying to give sound advice to an older, more jaded Riley Ellis who was so smart that it made Julian feel a small twinge of pride because he had always wanted the best for the other man. The very best life had to offer.

”At least you're mature about it,” Julian responded thoughtfully. Some people, having gone through what Riley had, would be less open to possibilities, and choose to think the entire world was against them finding happiness. Even Julian, the more optimistic of the two, had cursed the universe and its mysterious workings for a while, wondering 'why me?' over and over again until he couldn't stand to ponder thoughts any longer. ”But just because the lesson isn't completely visible right away doesn't mean there wasn't one, Riley. You'll find it, someday.” Julian tried to reassure him, and smiled, changing the subject again to something that would hopefully make the man smile: assuming that alcohol still would have the same effect. Julian was certainly hopeful, and since Riley would have made it past the legal drinking age before he died, it was more than likely that he was hopeful as well. Since he was receptive of the offer, Julian couldn't turn it down now.

”Yeah, let's get trashed. We've earned it, don't you think?” Riley made a comment about their friendship that literally took the words out of his head. For a while, Julian's main worry was about being forgotten, about not having enough time to really leave behind any kind of legacy. He'd never married, had no children, and hadn't gotten to see many of the young people he was fond of grow up. Julian had been fond of a lot of Riley's siblings and cousins, because they shared that firetamer bond, and for a while, he even considered moving past the firehouse and going back to school, doing something else with his life like teaching, since he really did enjoy passing along life lessons to the younger generation. His father had always been a pinnacle of wisdom, and Julian had always been able to tell the man anything, and aspired to be just like him from a very early age. The fact that he was still memorable to Riley made him feel... special. Tingly. Strange. Safe to say I've never felt this way about a regular compliment before...

[/color] Julian's thought flickered briefly, as he didn't want to start blushing and give away his other thoughts in front of his friend, because said thoughts were probably... no, Julian felt that they were certainly inappropriate.

”So drinks are on you, then?” Julian teased, then grinned widely. He was finally starting to feel... normal again. ”Or are you planning to just let pretty girls buy you drinks all night?” Julian normally was used to being part of an active social scene where his old group of friends were involved, but he figured a good number of them probably didn't even live in Manuka anymore, and he'd all but forgotten how to socialize. Riley, however, seemed like he'd be quite capable and confident in places like bars, so Julian decided to follow his lead.

They ended up in a cozy looking tavern that hadn't been there before, so he just assumed that it was somewhere that Riley was familiar with. They sat down at a table, and Julian was pleased that it wasn't super crowded, but not so empty that they'd be the center of attention for any reason. A nice woman came by and took their order, and Julian decided to be simple by just getting one of the darker beers they had on tap. ”Well, I wasn't exactly a social butterfly before, but I used to drink with the guys from the firehouse at bars semi-frequently. I wasn't a total shut-in. How about you?” Julian asked, and then grabbed his beer when the waitress returned. He thanked her with a smile, then took a sip. ”Oh, this is even better than I remember,” Julian looked at his friend, who seemed to also be handling his drink with a bit of trepidation. ”How's yours?”[/blockquote][/justify]

[RILEY PRESTON ELLIS]

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and soon you'll lose the will to care

Riley wanted to know why it was that the two had somehow come together. The entire city was crowded with people and they could have been anywhere at any time. So how did they cross paths and why now? He had dearly missed his friend and always wondered if he would ever come back. Now that he was here Riley wanted to rejoice. He found himself smiling more than he had in a long time and that really meant something to the demon. When he was alive his entire life was filled with smiles and happiness and joy; everything, even before Issy had some sort of entertainment in it that pleased him. Even though he was an asshole to some people he had never really thought anything of it. He just found it funny. But after his death a heavy reality set in and came crashing down over him heavily. Now he didn’t really want to joke around and egg people on with jokes or rude comments. He wanted to be invisible and stay out of trouble. He wanted to be more like Julian.

With Jules around now he could aspire to be more like he used to be when he was younger, when he and Julian were still both alive. He was fun and excitable and found something good in any situation. He wondered if Julian was still the same as he used to be. Riley hoped he hadn’t changed at all. It was weird how both of them were dead, but still remained on the earth for some reason. Riley wanted to believe that he had some kind of unfinished business, but the only thing he could think of was because he needed to still protect Darby from something. He was unsure as to what it was, but he knew that he was assigned to be her guardian angel for some reason and he wanted to do whatever he could to be there for her. Riley knew he should probably be with her now, but he didn’t want to leave Julian’s side.

He shook his head. “Not a damn thing.” He laughed with him and wondered what Julian’s unfinished business was. The only reason you ever became a ghost was because there was something on this earth that you hadn’t completed or hadn’t found yet. Love was one of those big reasons. Riley had always thought that Julian had had love in his life, but maybe he was wrong. Of course it could always be one of many different reasons, too. Riley was really just glad that he was here at all to be honest. He didn’t realize how much he still missed Jules until the moment he saw him again.

Riley hadn’t seen any of his family for weeks. The last time he saw Damon was the day before he died. Since then he had kept under the radar—especially after he fell. “No. I haven’t seen any of the Ellis’ for a while.” Riley wondered why Julian thought he should see Damon, but it was probably because he was so crushed after his death. He just couldn’t face his family. He didn’t want to be an even bigger disappointment. He had already been stupid enough to die; he didn’t want to let them know that he had failed as a guardian for one of their own. “That’s nice of you, but I think I need more time.” Riley knew he was being selfish, but he didn’t care. He was a selfish person and he knew that there was no denying it.

The only reason he had any optimism was because Julian had basically taught him how to think that way. Most of his family wasn’t like that. Really only Darby, Evelyn, and Ashlin. Even Calla was a Negative Nancy sometimes. It sort of ran in the Ellis family. They were brought up to think realistically and rationally, not to overthink things, and to work hard at anything you did. Most of what they were taught went in one ear and out the other for Damon, but most of the time Riley listened. “You know you kind of showed me how to think like that.” It wasn’t until he and Julian had become friends that he realized there were other ways of thinking. He was grateful to his friend for that. Without him he’d be a pessimist through and through.

Riley laughed aloud. He had never seen Julian get trashed before and thought it would probably be one of the most entertaning things that could possibly happen. “Damn right we have!” he replied still grinning widely. He wondered how long it had been for Julian since he had last gotten drunk. “I got ‘em,” he said about buying the drinks. He found himself not wanting to have any company of women tonight. He just wanted to have a good time with Julian. In any case the only woman he would really want to see was Issy and she was long gone now.

Riley knew that Julian had never been a big drinker. He just didn’t seem like the type of guy that would go out and get drunk or go party. Riley was different though. “I was definitely a social butterfly. Sometimes I’d go out with Damon and leave with a stranger, sometimes I’d go alone and leave with a friend. sometimes I’d go with a stranger and leave with another.” Riley used to be a big partygoer like Damon. It was one of the things he did to forget about the shit he was dealing with and get laid. It had been months since he last did that and he doubted he’d ever do it again. It really wasn’t something he wanted to do anymore after finding someone and losing her. He wanted to find someone else he could have a real relationship with instead of just screwing some girl after knowing her for a couple hours.

He took his own beer and took a gulp. It was good, just as he remembered. “Tastes great,” he said. “I doubt I’m going to get drunk off of beer though to be honest. Even when I was alive it took a pack or two,” he laughed. He was a heavyweight in the drinking department. He asked a passing waitress to grab a couple bottles of Vodka and bring them over, it didn’t matter what flavor or how much it cost. When she returned he shoved one at Julian and took off te top of his own. “This should make things go more quickly,” he said with a grin.

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[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Even though their situation was certainly not ideal, Julian felt his heart soar when Riley actually started laughing with him. It was trivial, picking on the fact that they were, in essence, dead. The fact that they could both wander the earth, talk to one another, visit with other people if they wanted – all of that was moot, at the end of the day. Their bodies were deep in the earth. Or, in Julian's case, his 'remains' were buried in a box beside a headstone with his name on it. The ghost didn't know how much police were actually able to find given the catastrophe, and didn't like to think about it, but he knew there couldn't have been much to bury. However, both men had to come to terms with their current state, and what better way than a little humor? Besides, Julian really disliked when the younger man was down in the dumps and had that grumpy frown along his handsome features. Even as a young boy, Riley could get this scowl that made everyone want to move out of his path, and whenever Julian saw that scowl, he wanted nothing else other than to do something incredibly goofy or silly to make him smile again. Children took a lot of childhood experience into adulthood, and if their childhood was unhappy, usually that led to them being rather unhappy, poorly developed adults. Riley just had so much potential, and their friendship was important enough to the ghost that he was more than willing to go out of his way a little to do some good and make some changes that he hoped would last. ”How about this? Let's pretend like we're still normal, you know? Just for tonight, let's try not to think about death, explosions, any of that tragic shit. I never got to actually spend time with adult Riley – I'm really looking forward to it.”

The young man had grown up well from what Julian could see. There was still that quiet intensity that circled him, but he always knew that this quality wouldn't just go away. Frankly, he wasn't sure that he'd want to change that part of his old friend. The young man's brooding nature was usually temporary, and could switch to knee-weakening laughter and raucous behavior in the span of a few seconds, if Julian's memory served. Actually, the longer he spent time around the former firetamer, the more Julian seemed to remember. Each memory hit him in waves, and made him want to laugh, smile, and sometimes cry at just how much he'd missed and just how far they'd come.

It was the next memory about Riley's family that made him question whether or not he'd taken steps at reconnecting. Certainly it would be a difficult process, especially since the family had already mourned their terrible loss, but Julian hoped that eventually, he would reach out. ”I get that. Eight years, and I'm finally ready to get there. It's a process,” Julian said, but he knew that part of the reason he wasn't trying to get out and be social was because his physical body had limits. There was no way he wanted to 'poof out' in the middle of a crowded street. ”Just... don't take too long, okay? The longer you're gone, the more time they'll have to miss you. Don't think I won't push you if I think you're being slow, either.” Julian said, but made sure to smile so Riley wouldn't feel pressured. The ghost had always done his best to do little pushes with the younger man just so he wouldn't get caught up in the same old, same old too quickly and become complacent. It was important with someone like Riley to make sure they stayed motivated, especially when it came to the important things in life.

After he gave his friend some more advice, he was nearly knocked on his ass from the flattery that came from Riley telling him that Julian had been responsible for more mature, less pessimistic thinking. Really, that had been all he'd wanted when they were growing up – give some different opinions than what he got at home and maybe make a change for the better. It wasn't like Julian wanted to get Riley to go against his family and their ideals, because family was one of the most important things in his opinion, he just thought that Riley was better than all of what they were trying to teach him. Mostly, he didn't want another angry, entitled child on his hands. ”I can't take all the credit. You listened,” Julian said. He'd always believed in the old adage about being able to lead a horse to water, but not being able to make it drink. Really, Riley's success was as much in his own hands as it was in Julian's.

Before the conversation got too serious again, Julian was pleased at Riley's enthusiasm about spending more time with him and going out to get drinks. The ghost fully intended to get trashed, if he was physically capable. Even though it had never been a common practice when he was alive, he figured that it was never too late to turn over a new leaf and have new experiences. But more so, it was about the fact that he felt safe and confident with Riley, who apparently had more experience than Julian despite the fact that he was so much younger. ”I'm not surprised, especially to hear Damon was involved. I bet you were very popular,” Julian said, not letting the part about him leaving with strangers, he assumed for hooking up, escape his keen notice. Riley was very attractive, especially when he smiled, and Julian felt a warmth grow in the pit of his stomach whenever they had lasting eye contact.

Part of him was still ashamed of his attraction to men, because his parents would have been so ashamed. They would have disowned him for sure, so it had always been his deepest, darkest secret in a way. There had been a few relationships with women in his past – some he genuinely wanted, others just for show or just to prove that he could. Julian knew that his attraction to women was strong, but perhaps not as strong as his forbidden desires. The ghost had never entertained the fact that he was gay because of this occasional lust for a specific woman, but figured that he was probably more along the lines of bisexual, which was a label that he had done his best to avoid.

Riley was straight, no doubt, and even if he wasn't, Julian wouldn't dare. At least, he thought he wouldn't. But with a little alcohol, in the right circumstance, who knew? Riley certainly wasn't a little boy anymore, and they had both gone through so much together that he wasn't ruling out any possibility anymore. Life and death both had twists and turns, it seemed, and Julian pledged the moment he walked in the bar to just let things be as they would. He would let the path lead him wherever he was supposed to go. With Riley, he was safe. They sat down, got their drinks, and Julian was thoroughly enjoying his beer when Riley decided that it just wouldn't do for their decided purpose.

”I keep forgetting that I'm dealing with a pro,” Julian said, deciding to be a little daring and chug the rest of his beer. After he was successful, he wiped the slight bit of foam from his lips with the back of his hand and looked at the bottles of vodka and glasses she brought to their table. Julian thanked her, then looked at his friend with a little bit of shock on his face. Riley definitely wasn't a boy anymore. ”Damn, Ellis – you've been holding out on me. This isn't cheap. And if you think we're finishing these, I might have to carry your skinny ass home.” Julian teased. Then he twisted the cap off of his bottle, poured about a shot's worth, and tossed it back, enjoying the burn just like he had when he was alive. Then, when he was done being showy, he waited for Riley to catch up, fully expecting to be shown up within a few short moments.

[/justify]

[RILEY PRESTON ELLIS]

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and soon you'll lose the will to care

Riley could remember now how much he had gotten along with Julian when he was younger. It had never been weird though that someone ten years his senior could be so easy to get along with. Julian was one of the kindest, most genuine people he had ever met and the ghost honestly cared about him and his well-being. Julian had always been there for Riley when he was still alive, had showed him how great of a person he could be. He was something like his concious as he was growing up, so when he was about to do something bad, he could hear Jules saying something, telling him it wasn’t a good idea. But once he was gone, his voice just slowly faded from his mind until he was finally gone for good. That was when Riley had started to become more of the wild child he was before he met Issy.

Riey had basically started to rebel from his parents and basically became the epitome of what they didn’t want for their son. They already had Damon who slept with every human he could get his hands on; they didn’t want one just like him. They thought so lowly of humans and they didn’t know how their only two sons could stoop so low as to screw them every time they got the chance. But not only was he a little loose, he also didn’t have good manners and didn’t uphold the dignity of the Ellis name either. He didn’t take things seriously at all and would go off at random times and do dangerous things that could have gotten him killed. He had turned into something of an adrenaline junky and it frigtened his mother and little sister. The one thing they could count on Riley for though was protecting Rowan, his little sister. He and Damon both kept her out of danger and that was what was most important.

After meeting Issy though, things changed for him. She had taken ahold of him and made him want to be a better man. She made him want to grow up and stop fooling around. When he thought he had lost her at Thanksgiving, he felt his entire world shatter. It wasn’t until he had lost her that he had known that he had loved her and that he didn’t want to live without her. He was so blinded by love that he was killed, and now he would have to live an eternity without her. While there was emptiness in his heart and he knew it would never fully heal, he did know that Issy wouldn’t want him to dwell on her forever. She’d actually probably tell him to get off his sorry ass and find someone to fill the hole. Issy would always be remembered in his heart and mind, and no one could change that.

Riley nodded at Julian. He understood why it had taken so long to come and confront his own family and come back to Manuka. Though Julian’s reasons and his own were completely different, he could still sort of understand what Jules was going through. Riley smiled a little and nodded in agreement with Julian because he knew his friend was right. Riley knew he was being a coward for not wanting to show himself to his family, but he didn’t want to have such disappointment be thrown at him when they found out that he was a demon. But he told himself just then that they would be thinking more about the fact that he was alive than what he was. And Riley tried to believe that, he really did, but he knew his parents would ask tons of questions after getting over the initial shock and happiness of him being back. Riley sighed a little and replied, “You’re going to have to push then, cause I’ll never be able to do it without you.”

Riley had never been the kind of guy to admit he needed help. He was stubborn as an ox and would rather fail a million times at something than get help and succeed. But when it came to Julian, he somehow felt safe saying that he needed help. Julian had never looked down on him for needed help or asking for assistance, but rather gave it willingly and happily, not judging Riley at all. Riley hadn’t asked anyone for help in a long time and he was glad that Julian was going to be there to push him to see his family. Riley would otherwise have gone on living in solitude never seeing his loved ones again and that would probably kill him even more than having disappointment on his shoulders; he had just never realized it.

Riley felt more at ease now that he could be himself again and didn’t have to worry about anything elsein the world except Julian and getting completely drunk with him. As Riley told him about going out and having random flings, he wondered if Julian had ever had a one night stand. Riley doubted that he had, but thought it entertaining to envision. Julian would probably be the kind of guy to actually follow up with the girl though, which would then turn into more than a one night stand. Was Julian even capable of fucking someone and then never thinking of them again? He doubted it. But that was what made Julian so great in Riley’s opinion. He wished he could be more like that, but he liked sex too much and didn’t want another relationship, at least not for a while. “I was popular enough I guess, but I was never anything like Damon.” Riley found himself laughing though he felt more sadness than happiness at the thought of his brother. He missed Damon more than anyone in his family becaue he was closest to him. The two were two peas in a pod, twins though they were a few years apart. They meant everything to each other. If he was ever going to show himself to anyone it would be Damon.

He took a large gulp of his drink to try to lure his thoughts away from his brother and the rest of his family and instead on Julian. They had switched drinks to stronger liquor since it would take too long to get really shitfaced with beer. Riley could still see straight, which meant he was going to need a lot of liquor to get drunk. He figured that since he was rich as hell, spending money on booz with Julian was the best way to blow it since he wasn’t spending it anywhere else. Riley laughed at his friend’s comment and waved a hand at him. “Oh please, I’d be the one carrying your ass home,” he said. His eyebrow twitched upwards as he took a look at Julian. He had never really noticed how much wider his shoulders were or how lean the other male was. Riley had never really taken notice in any other guy that way though, so it wasn’t surprising. Riley blinked a little and chugged more of the bottle, starting to feel it more.

After a couple bottles between them and about an hour and a half later, both men were drunk off their asses. Riley hadn’t noticed the bar had become crowded with people. He looked up and saw the crowded place as it spun a little around him. Then the door opened and in walked Damon. Riley’s eyes widened and he instantly went invisible, even to Julian. He threw a bunch of money on the table before grabbing Julian’s arm and pulling him towards the back entrance. He couldn’t walk straight so it took a little longer than he hoped to get out of the bar, but when he knew they were safe outside of the bar, Riley made himself visible once again. “Damon’s in there, Jules.” His words slurred together and the world spun under his feet. “We have to get outta here before he sees us… I live around here we can go there and finish off our night there if you want… or we can go to your place it doesn’t matter,” Riley blinked, waiting for his answer.

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[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Julian always wanted to be supportive of his friends – he had always been the kind of guy to give someone the shirt off his back if they ever needed it. At least, that was part of his moral code when he was alive, but the ghost knew from what he'd experienced in eight years of being self-reflective and on his own that death hadn't changed him. In a way, it hadn't seemed to change Riley much, either, although Julian had missed out on the bigger parts of the young man's life. Riley had only been an adolescent when Julian had died – he couldn't even drive a car, yet, and now he had already experienced so much love and loss that it made the older man's head spin. The sadness in Riley'e eyes was something that Julian wanted to relieve. Before they had bumped into each other, Julian had been thinking of ways to start making a difference again, thought about trying to connect with some of the people he used to know – hoping that they would accept him for who he was now. Of course, his life before as a firetamer had taught him that humans couldn't always be trusted, and some supernaturals weren't always kind to the humans, either, but he considered them to be just like everyone else. Wasn't he a human who had the special ability to tame fire, once upon a time? Now he was completely different, and he was relieved in a little bit of a selfish way that Riley wasn't exactly as he was, species wise, before. That much had changed, but the person? The transition from adolescent to man had been good to Riley other than the speed bumps, it seemed. Julian was worried about the heartbreak and concerned about his reluctance to reach out to his family, but when he looked at the young man, he still saw that flicker of hope and light behind his lovely eyes. And that was why Julian wanted to help him, push him, and get him to a place where he could find himself again. The ghost was tired of wandering around not knowing if he had a place, or where exactly that place was anymore now that his family was gone. Riley didn't have to go through that, though, and Julian wanted to spare him any more confusion or suffering.

Julian smiled at his friend when he commented about Julian's help, ”I won't push too hard, promise. But you should work up to seeing them. Especially Damon.” Even though Damon seemed to be a bit wilder than Riley, and Julian wasn't completely sure that the other man was a good influence who would keep Riley from going dark or losing that flicker of hope, he understood the need for family, and was glad that Riley had a brother who loved him. He could reach out to Damon when he was ready, get connected with his family, find a place. Julian would be around to help him this time, making up for everything he had missed before. Which was a lot, from what Riley had told him. His life had never been that eventful – it had always been kind of plain, normal. Riley had seen much more interesting days in a much shorter time and the ghost sighed: his friend could use a break, that was for sure. That was why when the suggestion about going to a bar and drinking to catch up and blow off steam came up, Julian wasn't as apt to say no – Riley needed this, and he wanted to spend more time with the other man. Especially because he was being rather... sweet. Julian hadn't missed his high praise about not being able to go to his family without him, and that had been extremely high praise and high faith in him – he only hoped he'd live up to the other mans' expectations. And that thought, that pinch of nerves, was enough to make him suddenly very interested in whether or not he could still get drunk.

The bar he'd chosen was a good one, and as soon as they found a place to sit, they were drinking and talking. It was a little easier when a bit of alcohol was applied to the situation, and Julian was pleased that even though he couldn't exactly feel the effects anymore, just the thought of what he was doing was enough to relax him. It was a strange sensation because he knew the alcohol wasn't actually doing anything, but it still relaxed him. Made him tease Riley just a little, asking about him and girls. Mostly, that was to reiterate in Julian's mind that his friend was straight. Didn't like men. Julian did, but Riley certainly didn't. And as far as Julian's sexuality went, he didn't even have enough experience to know all of it – a few clumsy kisses in gay clubs with strangers was all he'd experienced, and he'd had to travel far out of town just to go to those places, so nobody from Manuka would see him. Now that he was dead, he thought that he should have taken more chances when he was alive, because it certainly seemed like Riley lived his life to the fullest. There were still things that were missing from his life, and he'd have to go after them now that he was a ghost, making things significantly more difficult. ”I would think you'd get more action than Damon,” Julian said, a little surprised. He'd seen Damon wandering around with a chip on his shoulder, but Damon never saw him, of course. He'd grown up to be strong and handsome, too... but nothing like Riley. ”I mean, you have a great personality along with being a good-looking dude.” If that was his attempt not to sound gay, Julian knew it was awful, but he could blame it on the alcohol, even though he hadn't had that much – hardly any, so he was just hoping that Riley wouldn't call him out. Or freak out.

The ghost laughed when Riley said that he'd be more likely to be the one carrying Julian's drunk ass home. Riley was... certainly strong, and for a moment, the room around him felt really hot because the insinuation that Riley would or could physically carry him anywhere made him a little weak. Julian cleared his throat and smiled, and they went on to doing what they were doing, and finally, he felt his troubles start to wash away. He was safe, with someone he cared about, and even though life had been rough, it was starting to look up. ”This was a good choice, Riley. I feel... lifted. Is that a word, does that make sense? 'Lifted?' Sounds funny.” Being drunk in his head was actually kind of nice, and since much of the body's systems functioned on a 'mind over matter' basis, there was a chance that he was feeling the effects of the alcohol because he wanted to. Because he wanted to let loose, not because it was actually doing anything. But then when he looked across the booth, Riley was gone. As in, disappeared. Completely. Julian knew that he wasn't that fake drunk that he'd miss his friend leave, but then he saw money go onto the table and felt his arm being grabbed, so he knew that Riley went invisible on purpose. It was an ability that demons had, but ghosts could do it, too, so he poofed out as well. The two of them made it out of the bar, and Julian didn't even have to ask for an explanation once they made it outside because Riley was standing in front of him then, probably a little drunk from the slight slurring of his words, each one of while were understood perfectly by the ghost.

”Shit, seriously? Talk about bad timing.” And then Riley mentioned something about 'finishing up their night' either at Riley's place or Julian's and the ghost shook his head. His living situation was... not great, actually. He inhabited one of the large mausoleums in the cemetery and stole clothes because he didn't have any way of making money since he could barely stay solid for more than three hours. It was all organized in a special 'secret' door that he found, but it was certainly no place to bring his friend, that was for sure. ”Your place? Mine's... a wreck. How close is it to the cemetery? Because I'm sorta on a limited physical schedule. Ghost stuff.” Either way, he knew that they had to be out of there sooner rather than later, so he followed Riley on the way to what he guessed was his place. He followed, but Julian could feel himself getting a little bit nervous because he was going to Riley's house and he was already having crazy mixed feelings that were more than likely inappropriate to be having about one of your close, childhood friends who was totally straight. Ah, well, if things got awkward, Julian could just poof out and say he couldn't help himself. Yeah, that sounded like a great plan.

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[RILEY PRESTON ELLIS]

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and soon you'll lose the will to care

Riley was more distant by the time he was seventeen. He had learned to not get close to people because they would just disappear on him like Julian had. It wasn’t Julian’s fault that he died; it was his brother, Matty’s. Riley had never truly gotten over Julian’s death, but that was all fine and well now since he was a ghost. But for so long he had thought he was dead and that in itself was hard enough because it seemed like forever. Now that he had come back he wondered how his life would be different and if Riley would become like he used to be. He used to be a happy person in general. Julian brought out that happiness in him and made him feel light like a feather. He often wondered if anyone else would have that same effect on him and while Issy made him feel more alive and gave him a sort of purpose, the sun didn’t shine brighter when she was around. And though Issy pushed him to be a better person it felt more natural the way Julian did it. When Julian wanted him to do something it was for Riley’s own good, not out of the benefit for anyone else. It was Julian’s greatest attribute as far as Riley was concerned and what made the other male so easy to trust. So when he said that he should go see his brother, Riley took it into serious consideration.

Even if he was scared to death of what his family would think of him losing his angel wing, he knew it was doing them all a disservice by staying under the radar. Damon especially was coming undone about the whole thing and Riley knew it. But imagining his brother feeling any sort of disappointment made Riley not want to see him all over again. He couldn’t gain the courage to just take the leap of faith and trust that his brother would not judge him for failing as a guardian angel and would instead welcome him home with open arms. He was pretty sure the only way he was going to be able to show himself to his brother was if Julian helped him get him past his fears and just told his family he was still alive, that he was just a demon now instead of a firetamer. Riley would have said all of this to Julian except he didn’t know quite how to put all of that into words. So he said simply, “I’ll do my best.” Riley wished he were more like Damon in that he could say what he thought on the spot. Even if Damon sometimes came across as a little on the stupid side (Riley knew his brother wasn’t an idiot; he knew people who were real idiots and Damon didn’t fit that category) he did know how to say what he meant. Riley just wanted to be able to tell Julian about how he felt.

Words were slurred by now. This point in getting drunk was always Riley’s favorite because he could still remember what was happening the next morning, but there was always a little bit of a blurriness to it. He wasn’t really sure why it was his favorite, but he did like that everything looked softer and was funnier than it actually was. Riley wasn’t really a sloppy drunk, but he had, on occasion, come across as one. Tonight though wasn’t going to be like that because he didn’t want to look like a complete idiot in front of Julian, who had never seen him drunk. Riley hadn’t seen Julian drunk either, but he doubted the ghost ever really got drunk. Julian just didn’t seem like the type to get completely wasted just for the fun of it; neither did he seem like he would get drunk because he was having a bad day—or because he was dead for that matter. So he doubted that Julian had ever been as drunk as he was right now.

Riley, however, was exactly the kind of person to go out and get drunk simply for the fact that he wanted to be drunk. He liked being drunk. Things were a lot simpler when you could blame your being an asshole on the fact that you didn’t have a filter because you had had too much to drink when in fact you really didn’t like that weird blonde girl staring at you because she looked like your cousin. Riley had been a really big partier when he was still a firetamer. He probably got it from Damon, but once he found out how much fun it was he didn’t want to stop. He liked going out and hooking up with random women who he could leave the morning after without having any strings attached. He liked going to clubs and having that awful loud thumping music make his ears ring for hours after leaving. He had no idea how much he would miss little things like his ears ringing after a long night of partying, but he did know that he would never be able to have that as long as he stayed invisible to his family, or at least Damon, since his brother normally hung out at those same exact places.

Riley thought it was kind of cute the way his words slurred off of his lips. He looked at the ghost’s lips and found himself thinking of how soft they looked. He quickly turned his mind away from that thought that had come from nowhere. Riley shook his head a little and answered Julian’s question about how close his place was to the cemetery. “It’s a street over so you’ll be close by.” When they arrived at his house he opened it up with a little bit of difficulty seeing as the lock wouldn’t stay still and it was tough to get the key to get inside of its rightful hole. But when the lock finally clicked open Riley smiled widely. “Ah, there we go,” he said and pushed the door open. “Make yourself feel at home. Wait that’s wrong…” As Riley pondered what the correct expression was, he took off his shoes and walked back to the kitchen. He dropped his keys onto the kitchen table. “Not feel. Just make your home… No. Make yourself at home, that’s it,” Riley mumbled to himself. He turned to go into the living room where he had left Julian. Riley plopped down on the couch and rested his arm across the back. “Want another drink, or have you had enough?” he asked.

TAGGED:SEAJAY WORDS:A LOT OUTFIT: CLICK

THIS TEMPLATE WAS MADE BY WILMETTA OF CAUTION.

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[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

One thing Julian had always noticed no matter whether he was a ghost or alive was that people had a habit of always trying to run from their pasts. Whether it was because of shame, angst, or other negatives that were hidden in the closet to create lovely bones and skeletons that never really stayed hidden, people still tried to run and hide. Of course, everyone had a coping mechanism for dealing with the skeletons or their past – some ran to the bottle, others to the company of a warm body for the night, some tried to just push it out of their mind by replacing it with other things that would be interesting enough. Julian never judged people for doing just about anything that needed to be done just so they could get through the day, but this habit was one that he never really understood. His distance from the rest of the world had been more self-preservation than anything else. There had been so many days where he wanted to be able to show himself to his parents, since they knew about the existence of ghosts, just like any other kind of supernatural out there, but he hadn't been able to go through with it. Some people might have considered this distance to be his attempt to run from the past, from his murder, from his psychopath brother, but it wasn't. Julian knew that his parents would experience more pain and suffering by seeing their son as a ghost and knowing that his only existence was to stay caught between worlds for eternity. Even after death, he hadn't gotten to be completely at peace. And Julian would never do that to them – maybe if they forgot, if they told themselves that he was happy, at peace, they could leave this town behind and stop being that family whose son got murdered by their other son.

Most people probably wouldn't have blamed Julian for being like so many others and trying to run from what haunted his past, and thoughts that continued to plague him every day, but the ghost wanted to do his best to move beyond, to embrace the new lease on 'life' that he had been given, even though he wasn't technically living. There were parts of him that took some real adjustment, even changing over from old firetaming powers to new, ghostly ones. Julian knew that Riley was still going through the same adjustments that he had once had to figure out alone, and just like he had gotten to do when Riley was a young boy, Julian hoped that he'd be able to make his way into the young man's life now and help guide him, just like he used to do before. The Ellis family was strong, powerful, and had certain expectations of their children and other relatives, so Julian knew that for Riley, losing his fire and falling even after he had been assigned to protect his cousin had to be hard. So many expectations, and still so much potential. Under weaker individuals, he might have crumbled, allowed himself to become crippled by what everyone else wanted from him and unable to do what he actually wanted for himself. That, to Julian, would have been the most heartbreaking thing of all.

His encouragement to go see Damon again, to show himself to his family and try to reach out to them, even now that he was a demon, was meant to keep Riley from running and hiding, from shoving those skeletons even deeper into his closet to where he'd have to search and hunt for them when it was finally time to clean out the cobwebs and start over. So, when Riley told him that he'd do his best, Julian smiled fondly and replied with the only thing that was really important to say in that moment. ”Do it for you, Riley. Not for anyone else – only you will know when the time is right. But I'll always, always be here for you when it is, or even before that day comes, okay?” The ghost didn't need a reply from the young demon, because he knew that his words had likely gone in and settled, unlike some of the other Ellis kids that had liked to listen to his advice for one second before it had effectively gone in one ear and out the other.

The afternoon had turned into evening, and it had gotten much too heavy, so Julian had taken Riley to a bar. Well, they had taken each other, and had the intention to get really, really drunk. Julian had high hopes that he could get drunk, and knew that before he had become a demon, Riley had probably been pretty good at holding his alcohol, but the ghost had no idea how that would affect his current status or species, if at all. Even though he had experienced two different species in his own body since he had been born, Julian still had a lot to learn about the supernatural world, and guessed that Riley likely did, too. However, he held the hope that whatever would happen in the future, they could figure it out together – he had always wanted to be able to look out for Riley and make sure he had everything he needed to stay happy and healthy in both the mental and physical sense.

The booze started flowing, and Julian was pretty pleased that he could get drunk. But then again, he hadn't really spent many nights in a bar before, even with his friends and colleagues at the fire house. They liked to drink, all of them, to excessive levels that he assumed was probably similar to what Riley had done with Damon. That whole lifestyle of drinking and picking up women had never made sense to him, but since he was trying to turn over a new leaf and felt safe with Riley, Julian decided to ignore his former instincts and throw caution to the wind for a change. Even when the night turned an interesting path and they ended up invisible, then outside because Damon had wandered into the bar unexpectedly, causing Riley to get spooked. For good reason, Julian supposed, since he definitely wasn't ready to be seen by his family yet, so the ghost played it cool. It was simple. They'd just go back to Riley's place. Nothing wrong with that...

Except, the closer they got to Riley's place, the more Julian realized that the demon was just a little bit more drunk than him, because he went at a faster pace. Riley downed more shots, more booze, just... more. The man was a thrill-seeker, it seemed, and Julian was strangely okay with that; he just had to keep apprised of the situation and not let anything weird happen, even though he couldn't help but keep noticing just how beautiful Riley's eyes were, and how that smile kept making butterflies surface in his stomach, especially when he opened the door and invited Julian inside. ”You're drunk, Riley. It's all gonna sound wrong. And I'm drunk, too, so you're not alone.” Julian flopped onto the couch while Riley puttered around in the kitchen, then came back and sat down right down next to him. On the same couch. Pretty close, actually. Julian wanted to squirm a little, move locations, but he couldn't... he was rooted to the spot. And he was staring at Riley's mouth, just long enough to catch the demon staring back at his own lips. Maybe for the second time? He wasn't sure, but the ghost was suddenly a little self-conscious about it and licked his lips.

”Do you think it's a good idea to drink more, or should we maybe move onto something else? I don't know. I'm not... I haven't been social in a long time.” Not with anyone. Julian put his hands in his lap and tried not to look completely uncomfortable. He still needed to relax, apparently. ”Fuck it. Where's the booze? I'll go get some more, you throw on a movie or something. Anything works.” Then, Julian stood on slightly wobbly legs and started to make his way toward the kitchen, waiting for Riley to direct him to more alcohol.

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