Post by logan on Sept 8, 2011 9:40:18 GMT
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'Can’t you see that you’re smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control. Cuz everything you expected of me is falling apart right in front of you.'[/center]
'Can’t you see that you’re smothering me? Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control. Cuz everything you expected of me is falling apart right in front of you.'[/center]
hey there! so, tell us all about you... let's start off with the basics. what do we need to know?
"My name? –sighs- It’s Logan Alexander Sabrer. Yes, I’m quite aware that Logan is a boy name and so is Alexander. My parents were expecting a boy, okay? I don’t really want to talk about it anymore because I already hate my name. Thankfully, I convinced my parents when I was about thirteen to change my middle name to Alexandra. So, at least that is a girl name. And no, I have no nick names. Can we move on? Damn…I’m getting tired of these questions already. –sighs- okay let’s make this quick. I’m 26 and I’m a firetamer. A damn good one at that too. My parent’s made sure of that. I’m obviously a girl even though I have a boy’s name. Don’t even start with me. I’m straight as an arrow and I’m the dark side. Was raised that way. I don’t know any other way to be. We done with this section? Good because I so done with these stupid questions. I swear.”
so, a little birdy told me that you're pretty gorgeous... describe yourself.
"Wow………really? Nice pick up line, but it’s not going to work. I’m average, kind of boring if you ask me. My hair is a dark brown and it’s wavy. Some people say it looks like mermaid waves or whatever shit they say. I dunno and I really don’t care. All I know is that it’s easy to work with so that’s awesome. My hair goes to below my bust and it a good texture. Not too thick or thin. I like it. My eyes are pretty much the shade of my hair only maybe like a little light. Like chocolately? I don’t really know how to explain it. They are round like orbs so I guess they could be compared to a malt ball or something. Really I’m not good at this. I’m 5’6” and I’m about 115 or 117. I can’t really remember. It’s been a little while since I’ve measured myself. I don’t know where I fall for body type because I’m lanky yet I have curves. I’m just somewhere. I just don’t know where yet. I haven’t dared get a tattoo…yet. And the only scars I have are from trying to k-….never mind. It’s on my stomach, but it’s only a thin, light pink line now. Not too noticeable really. My style is really anything. I like a lot of clothes…except like frilly stuff because it just reminds me of my first year in highschool. Not a good time for me. Don’t really want to talk about it yet. My favorite things to wear are jeans and leather jackets because they look awesome. High heels hurt, but I wear them to special things like weddings and all that jazz. I just tend to wear whatever I like I guess.”
i'm sure that your personality is something else completely, tell me all about your self, can't wait to hear it!
"Don’t get so excited, buddy. I’m not all peaches and cream. A lot of people say I’m a bitch, but that once they get to meet me they get to know my real side. Being a bitch is more of a protection then a personality trait. I just kind of do it subconsciously…you know? I also tend to be cold and shallow and sarcastic. So basically I’m my mother in a sense. I guess my real self is still like my protection, but…warmer? If that makes sense. I’m not very good about feelings and how to make people feel better. I’m very sarcastic either way and just love trying new things. I love adventures and my motorcycle. I like rock music and alternative. I hate headaches and preppy people. I don’t like humans because my parents raised me that way so I never had a choice. I love being a firetamer and all, but I hate being an only child. Sometimes I just wish I was a guy…I’ll explain more later. Really I’m just really scared of failing my parents and just trying to…to…to kill myself again. I don’t want to be depressed again. I hate it. I guess that’s my biggest secret. Again I’ll explain more later. Another big secret of mine is that I’m a virgin. My parents just never approved of any guys so I never had a chance. Strengths? My firetaming abilities for sure are my biggest strength. My parents made sure that I was stronger than most. Another strength would be me not caring too much what people say about me and that I’m smart. My weaknesses for a sure thing would be that I can be a total bitch, that I’m sarcastic, that I’m not good with feelings, that I’m a girl not a guy, and that I’m not good under pressure. Wait you only three? Oh…sorry. Well anyway I hate being a girl sometimes and I hate bright lights in my eyes. I had bruises and scratches on my arms. I love mango flavored anything and vanilla ice cream. I love the color black and riding motorcycles. I like my hair and how it’s easy to work with. My biggest desire is to impress my parents. I guess that’s all…so yeah.”
i would love to hear about your past, i'm sure it's oh so interesting...
"-sighs- This is that part I’ve been dreading. My history. Such a lovely subject. Well I guess it all began with the arranged marriage of my father Thedore Sabrer and my mother Marie Colo. It seems like a lot of firetamer families have arranged marriages so it was no surprise to them. Theodore was the heir to the Sabrer clan and Marie was always the prettiest and stronger of the girls in the family so of course they were to wed. That was how it always was. They didn’t dislike each other, but they weren’t fortunate enough to love each other. They were…fond of each other though so I guess that’s good. They don’t fight much at home so I guess it is good. Anyway, my father became the head of the clan and he was the leader over all my relatives in my clan. Soon they married as well and everyone just knew they would have the most perfect son who would follow in their father’s footsteps. They even had the name picked out for their baby boy, Logan Alexander. Sound familiar? Yeah. I was that boy. I was quite a surprise to my parents. I was told that they were first extremely upset that they didn’t have a son to lead and they wouldn’t have another child because the pregnancy was so hard on my mother that if she did become pregnant again she might not make it. So they were stuck with me and I was stuck with the name Logan Alexander. I guess that was a fair trade up, but it’s not my fault I had a vagina. I swear it’s called an ultra sound. But nooo~ my parents were just so sure I’d be a boy. I bet they felt stupid.
I bet you can guess how my childhood went from there. My father and mother trained me harder than most parents did even if they were the head of the family. Since I was a girl and there was no one else in the immediate family to take the role as head I would have to do it. My father always said that I had to be better than the boys, which was kind of unfair because boys were almost always stronger than girls. It was just nature, but I wasn’t allowed to slack off. As soon as I was five and I started making fire my father and mother trained me. I was exhausted by the end of the day and would just pass out unto my bed. I was five too! Talk about child abuse. I guess my parents trained me harder too because I made fire earlier than most. I had potential what can I say? As soon as I was about seven or eight my parents tried to get me to be able to control my fire, which most seven year olds wouldn’t dream of doing. Of course they didn’t have my parents though. It seemed like though whenever I would do something it wasn’t good enough. I had to be better. I had to always match myself. It was a lot of pressure for a seven year old. It started to take a toll on me too, not to mention that my parents would always get angry when I talked to the humans. They made me look for the supernaturals and hang out with them no matter how much I didn’t like them. Some of them were cool though, but none of them understand that pressure I was under to impress my parents. Not to mention that my name didn’t help me get any friends. Everyone thought I was a guy or something. It was really annoying to have to explain it to them every time.
By the time I was ten my parents were forcing me to learn the more advanced moves and fight against adults. It was crazy! I had to train so much that my grades started slipping. My parents yelled at me for that too. But how was I supposed to do work when after training I’d literally pass out from exhaustion. I’m surprised I didn’t get held back or kicked out or something. I felt like I had no life. I barely got to hang out with friends, do school work, or have fun. Most of the hours of the day was studying about the history of firetaming and learning moves and talking to other firetamers. I would always have to be nice to the other firetamers because I would never know if they would be related to me one day. Or at least that’s what my mom always said to me. When I turned twelve I realized why we visited them so much. Half of it was for people for our side and the other half was searching for a husband for me. I was appalled at the idea. I didn’t want no damn arranged marriage. I wanted the real thing. Also I didn’t even know how to date. I wasn’t allowed to. Well I guess I was allowed, but they’d have to pass inspection from my parents and none of them did. My guess is that they just didn’t want distractions from my training and my school work. I just had to be best at everything. I had to be better than all the guys. I had to make my parents proud. So that’s why I’m a virigin because I’m not the kind of girl to just do it with anyone. I want it to be special.
When I was thirteen I actually got my parents to change my middle to Alexandra instead of Alexander. At least Logan was okay, but mixed with Alexander I sounded like a guy. I was just getting sick of the teachers calling out the name on the first day of school and looking at the guys then being confused when I stepped out. I hated having to explain too so it was just easier that way. It took a lot of convincing to get them to do it, but hey, the owed me big time for basically taking my life away just because they weren’t smart enough to ask the doctor before they had me what gender I was. Anyway the pressure got worse and worse as I grew up. I began to become depressed and just cold and guarded. I didn’t care about anything anymore. During my first year in high school I tried to kill myself by stabbing myself in the stomach, but I didn’t succeed because my mom found me. I was rushed to the hospital and my mother forced me to go to therapy for the next few months. When I went back to school my mother was convinced I needed a change and needed to be more social. So to both my father and me dismay she signed me up for cheerleading and bought me all girly and frilly clothes. She thought it would be good for me. To give you an idea on how the rest of the year went let’s just say I seriously considered trying to kill myself again. I didn’t though and after that year was done I refused to do cheerleading again or wear any of the ridiculous clothes my mom bought me. I burned them all and wore the clothes I had before. With that my dad resumed my training that had been put on hold because of my mom’s socializing idea. Training was extra hard that year to make up for the lost year. I literally thought I would die of exhaustion, but thankfully I lived.
Finally I finished high school, but I still lived with my parents because they wanted to keep an eye on me so I didn’t try anything about and also for training and for me to meet more firetamers. Though I was able to see my world more now and tried all new things like sky diving and rock climbing. It was a rush and I loved it. I just love adventure. For the first time in my life I was finally doing something for me and just me. I was completely satisfied to say the least. Now let’s fast forward to now and basically I’m doing the same thing. I know I’m getting older and one day I might be leader, but I don’t want to. I don’t want this. I want to live my life how I want. Not how they want. But I’m forced to be this. So yeah that’s all."
who is the amazing mastermind behind the likes of you?
"HOLLY HERE. I know I know. I have too many charries, but this is either my last or last one for awhile. So yeah I’ve done this a lot so you know I’m good."you’re joking right?
