[warning inside] my life is as important as yours

[JURATE]

DON'T READ THIS POST IF YOU DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH HORRENDOUS THINGS FROM THE HOLOCAUST. I am posting all images as links in pink, so click at your own risk.

As you know, I went to the two Auschwitz camps. Auschwitz I and Auschwitz II - Birkenau. When I woke up at 3AM on Thursday morning, I honestly didn't know what to feel like. The place seemed so far away from where I am, from the place and time that I am in. I kind of wondered if it had anything to do with me apart from my roots, and what difference will it make that 200 odd teenagers would be going to this place of death. We left rainy England for the scorching heat of Poland, in which not even a could in the sky was visible. All of us were confused, how are we supposed to feel the right feelings in a place like this when the sun is beating down upon our backs? I think we all decided that we would take it as it came. Me and my friend Chloe decided that we weren't going to take pictures, as it felt too impersonal to put ourselves behind a screen instead of facing reality.

The first place we went to, was a town called Osviencim, Poland. But we didn't go straight for the camps as most people would, we went to a street where we didn't think anything special was to happen. But in the spit we stood in, it was very important for us to realise the life out of the camps and ghettos. I haven't got a picture for this, but the place where we stood was just a grassy area next to a road. The only thing that told us that anything was there, was the sign which had a picture of the synagogue. When the Jews smelled trouble, they buried all their scrolls and religious books because they felt like it was as important as people, to keep them because the Nazis would demolish their sacred building and they knew it. Not far off, was a cemetery which we weren't allowed to visit, but this was the first shocking thing we heard all day; the gravestones that were there in 1940 had been pulled out by Naizis and used as paving on the roads. And so, dehumanization of the Jews began way early in 1940.

How could the Jews have seen something like the Holocaust coming? We learnt a little bit about the history, how Christians blamed Judas (who was a Jew) for betraying Jesus which resulted in his crucifixion, but who do these Christians in the 1940's think they are by taking the 'superior role'. Judaism has been a religion way longer than Christianity, and Jesus was a Jew too. But Hitler did not start to preach his hate for the Jews right away. First, he had to make sure he could get elected, and most people thought that he was just a madman who could do no harm. In his presentations, he did express a dislike for the Jewish race, and at first all he wanted was to relocate the Jews out of eastern Europe. When countries said that they had no space for 11 Million european Jews, that was when the plotting for the clearance of the Jews started to form, and all of the blame for Germanies misfortunes were blamed on Jews as a whole race.

The first camp we went to after the visit of the grounds of the synagogue, was Auschwitz I. It was nothing like we expected. In the sunlight, everyone around it was milling about, it was really touristy. People were having ice cream, just socialising and it kind of baffled us as to why? When our tour guide arrived, we went into a building which was called 'Block 4'. Looking in windows we started seeing displays. Tables, beds, and it didn't seem real. Like, they were all just there to taunt us into believing this indescribable thing happened, which we know of course it did, but being so close to it was baffling. We went into the first room, and we were shown a layout of the first camp. We were told about all the places the Jews were brought from, but we also learned about other people who fell victim to this mass massacre; homosexuals, disabled people, trade unionists, Jehovah witnesses, criminals, gypsies. Anyone who intervened in the formation of the idealistic country that Hitler head in mind, of strong, blue eyes blond hair people who could work and carry on the race which Hitler idolized.

Anyway, so we walk through and then the displays start. The first one we see is pictures, such as this taken at the time, by the Nazis, guards and even in cases prisoners. Over 200 pictures were found for Auschwitz alone. It was a horrible feat, but of course they were people from a picture, people we don't know, faces we couldn't put a name to if we tried. But the next displays were really what put the pictures into context, and every single thing that we saw, we could match it to the pictures that we saw in the first displays.

Display 1; Such a shocking imaged that I honestly did not know what to say, and I never heard such silence in a room before as we all just stared at this. And you know what this is? It's hair. There is 2 tonnes of it in just this display alone, which equates to the deaths of 40, 000 women. Their hair were kept for making carpets, blankets, socks for the marines. Their lives were less important that what their hair was worth in trade. Display 2; The proof if the fact that not only Jews were taken to the camps, but disabled people too. Some of these fake legs might have belonged to Jews, but some wouldn't have because these people just had no use in the community. Display 3; Cans and cans of Zyklon B gas. And you know what this does? It was used in the gas chambers. The Nazi's needed 10 of these cans in a single go. Display 4: The washroom where people undressed before going to get a wash down and get their heads shaven. Display 5; One of the most important displays in my opinion, giving identities to those who came to the camp with hope of survival. They only thought they were going to be relocated, so they clearly marked every suitcase. It didn't matter, because having been given 'striped pajamas' and having all their hair shaved off, made sure that they were no longer individuals with these names but numbers, some of which were tattooed on individuals arms.

The next rooms we saw, were the results of the Nazis putting 'disobedient' prisoners. There was a starvation cell, in which they were shoved into and not fed for days. Needless to say, most died. The second torture cell we saw was the 'suffocation cell'. Needless to say, you can probably guess what happened there. The room was filled with people all squished together, all door and windows shut and absolutely no air to breathe. Most died. The last, and the worst cells that we saw were the 'standing cells'. This was a 90cm by 90cm square, with an opening at the bottom that people had to crawl through to get in. It was no easy feat, as at least three or four other people were already in there, and they had to stand all night. Those who didn't die, would have to work about 11 hours the next day before being shoved back in there for another night until they died.

Then we went to see Block 11. What we saw in there, the room that we were standing in, was the first gas chamber. We just stood there, for a moment stunned, numbers rolling off of our guides tongue. In one of these, 1,200 people were killed after 20 minutes of being in the room. We listened, but then we were moved on to the furnaces. 300 corpses - no, people would be gotten rid of in 24 hours, and what they didn't manage to fit into those they burned outside. The people in there went from this, to this, to nothing but dust, which was dumped unceremoniously anywhere.

But when thinking of the Holocaust, people forget about the fact that the gas chambers were not the only things that the Nazis used to kill. Many were shot, and the famous wall in the camp here was met by screams of people who were shot, that the prisoners could only hear from the inside but not see. There were also poles which dislocated limbs, and a metal thing with three poles in the ground and one on top for hanging. Needless to say, they were all public displays.

A very very very important thing that we leaned here, is the fact that before the Nazi's took away everything the Jews had, their names, clothes, hair, they were people. Individuals who had lives! They didn't suspect that something like this would ever happen, they went in with hope. Those people have names, families, sons, daughters, friends, they had jobs, businesses, schools, just everything that you and I have right now. The only mistake they did unknowingly so, and according to Hitler, was being born into the wrong faith. However, another very important thing that everyone forgets are the instigators of this whole thing, the perpetrators, guards, the Nazis. If they were only following the lead of Hitler, surely Hitler was the only Nazi? But no, these individuals chose to be there, to build the camps, provide gas, goods, insurance or whatever else. Don't ever forget that there were people other than the victims who were individuals. Do you not think they had families too? Sons, daughters, homes? They did, yet they went along with ruining other families anyway. At this point in time, everyone in our group were afraid to speak. Afraid to say a think, as we just breathed and listened to the guide tell us everything about the way that the Jews were tortured, beaten and killed.

I'm sure I'm probably missing something from the first camp, but Auschwitz II - Birkenau was just as important. The Barracks were the first things we saw; they were just tiny wooden shacks like this. Inside, this and this is what it looked like. The first were the living quarters, and in the middle is a heating system which couldn't work without materials that would not be provided. There were at least 3 people to a think bed, and barely any space to move. The second image were the 'toilets', concrete slabs with a hole in them. There was no sewage works, so the prisoners had to clean them often with their bare hands. They only had the chance to go twice a day; morning and evening, for 30 seconds at a time.

On the way around the camps, we saw a lot of things that had just belonged to people. Like this cutlery and more. One of the most important displays was the shoes. That is 80, 000 pairs of shoes that were kept by the authorities. They were worth more than the lives of those 80, 000 people who died. Also, childrens shoes. From the 230, 000 children who were brought to Auschwitz, only 700 survived the camp. This is the bit that I almost cried at, children. Younger than 13. All dead.

These were the cattle wagons in which 80 people would travel for 10 days at a time to their death. No toilet, foot, water was provided. Most died. One woman actually gave birth just getting out of the wagon, and one of the guards just took her baby and tossed it into a ditch already full of dead bodies like it was nothing. At the platform, people were pointed wither left or right. At random/'how healthy they looked, left meant life, right meant instant death. Where the arrows are pointing, are the other larger gas chambers. On the way there, signs said ;this way to the washrooms' as not to cause panic, the people were once more made to strip, leave their belongings, cut their hair before they were all mercilessly gassed.

I think I shall try and draw this to a close. But one of the most inspiring displays was the pictures that the prisoners brought from their homes of them looking so happy, no worries, no death looming over them. Just individual with pictures that you or I might have, of school, holidays, weddings. The emotions were so high then, none of knew a single thing to say or to even think. After that, we had an emotional ceremony from a Rabbi, who sang a prayer in Hebrew. It sounded so sad, the song, praying for the souls of all who died. If we were to have a minute silence for all who died in Auschwitz, we would not speak for 3 years. We listened to him talk, tell us his important it is that we're there, and that we might be able to take this away and teach to others what we saw and learned. But learning is not enough, you must see it for yourself to see what had gone on, that it was real. And even though we cannot imagine what it was like, seeing the camps made it that much more real. After that, we lit candles and left them along the railroad in remembrance of those who were so brutally murdered at the camps Auschwitz and Birkenau.

Now that I am home, after such a tiring day that passed in a blur, I am able to piece emotions, sights, smells, just everything I saw into some sort of feelings. Writing this has made me feel much better, but my outlook on things have changed. The hardest time of my life right now is revising for exams. For them, it was to survive. I think it is so important we remember this, and teach it upon others. This is something that everyone should go see sometime, just because the experience is indescribable. And you can see why I was so reluctant to take pictures, because putting a screen between me and reality would have tainted what I got out of the whole experience.

Thank you for reading.

[cierra]

O.O Wow, that is a huge experience Jurate. I can't even imagine what that must look like. The freaking hair picture was shocking. Didn't even know that O.o uneducated much. This is just... wow

[ALLY]

i don't even know what to say to this. but thank you. i love you and im glad you got to experience it and im sure it taught you a lot, because i know that learning about the hollocaust has taught me a lot, too, even if i didnt have the opportunity to see it first-hand. i do hope to one day though.

i love you <3

[JUDAS LEVI SAGAR]

It's okay Emily, I didn't know about their hair until I saw it myself...

Ally, you should definitely try one day to go there ... It just makes it seem more real, like it actually happened rather than something that we learn in history lessons. It's horrific, but all the people that went .. well, i had never heard such silence from such a large group of people before.

I love you too <3