Post by NATALIE MARIE HAWTHORNE on May 27, 2012 22:27:39 GMT
"I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.”
NATALIE VALENTINA CROSSE
goody two shoes. twenty two. female. heterosexual. undiscovered witch. neutral. dorki.
NATALIE VALENTINA CROSSE
goody two shoes. twenty two. female. heterosexual. undiscovered witch. neutral. dorki.
Natalie sat on the small stool in front of the vanity in her room, as her mother sat behind her brushing out the knots in the young girl's hair. The comb was rough and sharp, and her mother's anger could be felt through every hard swipe the comb took at the young girl's hair. She winced every time it passed through, but that was the only sign of discomfort the young Natalie showed. She wouldn't let her mother win. She wouldn't cry out in pain.
"What I just don't understand is how a young lady brought up in a home like ours could be so naughty. I isn't like this at all. Why do you find it in yourself to misbehave so? You aren't behaving like the proper lady that you are. When I'm through cleaning you up you had better march straight back up there and apologize to Miss Washington."
Natalie rolled her eyes at her mother's speech - she had heard this a million times already. "Yes Mum, of course I will," Natalie replied exasperatedly as she felt her hair being twisted into a chignon at the base of her neck, the fly-aways tamed by pins and a small pink bow at the side of her head. Finally, she was complete. Her mother stood then, and looked at the young girl for a moment, before sighing and walking off. Her shoes clicked on the hard marble floors, the sound as sharp and cold as the woman who created it. Natalie lingered in front of the vanity for a few moments longer, to see that she was back the way she was before. Back to perfection. Her dress was repaired, shoes cleaned, nails scrubbed, hair done. It was as if her escape from the constant boredom had never occurred. Natalie stood then, and walked toward the window. She pushed the heavy drapes aside to peek out into the street. There stood a few young children, around Nat’s age, playing on bicycles and yelling about. All of them looked as dirty as she had been moments ago, but at least they were having fun. They all started going off on their way, except one. A young boy with scruffy, dirty brown hair and dirt just as evident on his face as it had once been on hers. He looked up toward where Natalie was and raised a hand to wave at her. She smiled softly and waved back, before letting go of the drapes. They settled back into their proper place, and stilled. Sighing softly, the small Madeline walked slowly back toward her room, where her tutor awaited. It seemed she wouldn't be sneaking out again while Miss Washingtons' back was turned any time soon.
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Natalie stood quite still as she waited for her parents to do something. Do anything. All around her, children and parents hugged and sobbed, telling each other that it was okay, just the child’s first full day of school. This wasn't the case for the Crosses - they were so silent and stoic, it was is if they'd been made of stone.
"Well Natalie," her mother finally started, "I hope you have a good time at school. We expect top grades from such a smart girl like you. You know who you should be seen with."
It was said as a simple statement, but it was meant as a warning. Natalie nodded, thinking this was the end of it. She grabbed her backpack and slung it over her shoulder. Carter, her older brother, ran toward his younger sister, embracing her tightly and kissing her on the forehead. Natalie returned the hug.. "I'll miss you Nat, please don't forget about me in school. Be safe" Natalie smiled softly, and squeezed him a bit before letting him go. "Of course not Carter—besides, I’ll be home in a few hours." She tugged on her brother’s hair softly in affection. Carter nodded. That was the Crosses way - never show emotion. Never let anyone see you feel anything. Natalie nodded then, as a sort of goodbye, thinking this was the end, as she turned towards her driver who was already shifting back and forth impatiently. But once again she was surprised as her father collected the young girl into a light hug, and whispered something to her.
"Don't get caught breaking the rules, you know how your mother gets."
As quickly as it happened, it was over. Her father was back at his post by her mother, his hand resting softly on Carter’s shoulder who was smiling sadly. Her mother looked as beautiful and stony as ever, although a tight smile graced her lips as well. It was over now, everyone had said their part. Natalie waved and grabbed her things, boarded the town-car, and did not look back.
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The young brunette sat at one of the empty tables on the school grounds, watching the cars stream past the school. She was by herself, but she knew it would only be for a few moments. As if on cue, the others who were in her year all sat around her and seemed to involve themselves in the conversation, and Natalie - well, she just sat there. This was usually how things were done. She was ever the silent observer, not even really there. Natalie let her mind wander. She was a good student, a stellar student. Besides behind academically excelled, she was also the class president and the captain of the swim team. There were still a few minutes before the lunch bell rang; dismissing them back to their respective classes.
"Natalie!"
This jolted the girl's attention back to the group of people at the table, and she turned her head to face them.
"Hmm?"
“ What are you, new money?"
It was Trina who asked this, and surprisingly, it wasn't asked with malice or laughter - it was a serious question. She supposed she didn't blame them; she was a bit of an enigma. It was going to be their second year, and she'd barely spoken a word to them.
"No, I'm old money."
"You don't seem like it."
"You don't need to flaunt your wealth to have it."
This caused Trina to fall silent, and Natalie turned back toward the school. It was true - the Crosses’ were quite wealthy indeed. But they didn't brag about living in a large manor or buy the most expensive of anything just because. Her father had not only inherited the fortune of his family and his wife's fortune, but he'd helped to add to it. He did not sit idly on his mountain of coins like Scrooge who swims in his. Instead, he worked, and saved. He had taught his wife and children a valuable lesson of frugality and working for a reward. Although Natalie's mother disapproved of such ethics--coming from the typical old money family--the young woman was glad that she had been raised with the idea of working for what she wanted instead of expecting it to be handed to her. It had set her apart from the rest of the children she spent her time with, marked her out as a different breed.
They all seemed to expect her to act a certain way, dress a certain way, and to do what they believed was the polished socialite way. Natalie was always too nice, she trusts too easily, and she was ever-so attached to those who she thinks were her friends. People walked all over her and used her, just because they could. She was too nice. She was too trusting. She was a mere pushover, but she didn’t do anything to stop it. Not like she could anyways.
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The loud, groaning gong of the grandfather clock downstairs awoke Natalie. She sat up. Running a hand through her knotty, brown hair, and yawned. It was only one gong - 1 AM. Perfect. Tossing the thick comforter off of her, Natalie got out of bed and made her way toward her armoire. Sitting down in front of it, she dug toward the back where she kept her street clothing, away from her mother's prying eyes. She had chosen a pair of jeans, and a plain t shirt. Throwing it on, Natalie quickly closed her armoire and tiptoed to the bathroom where she brushed her teeth. She'd made her way back to her room just in time - the sound of a car revving its engine outside was her signal. Nataliee quickly undid the latch of her window and stepped out onto the small ledge in front of it. She closed her window as quietly as she could manage, and then climbed down the makeshift steps of out-of-place bricks until she reached the ground. Looking back up, Madeline saw no sign of any of her family noticing her exit. She ran toward the young man in the car waiting for her about two houses down, and was about to hop in before her name was called.
"Natalie!"
Natalie turned toward her name, and saw that it was her older brother, Carter. He was still in his sleepwear, and his hair was a mess.
"Carter, what are you doing out here?”
"Nat, you're going to get in trouble."
"Not if you keep your mouth shut."
"I can't believe you're doing this."
"It’s okay, I’ll be fine it’s just Drew. Go back to bed Carter, it's late."
“No. C’mon, Nat. You can do better than him”
“Carter. Don’t you get it? I’m sick of being goody two shoes. I’m sick of being the preacher’s daughter. I’m sick of being so perfect!”
He stared at her, staying completely silent.
“Don’t you understand..?”
He nodded. “Just go, Nat. I’ll cover for you. Be safe.”
And with that, Natalie climbed inside the car, and extending her arm outside the window. Natalie closed her eyes as they sped through the dark, empty streets, wondering if she could have been born into another world without the constant necessity for sneaking out.
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Click.
Light.
Inhale.
That’s what they were all doing anyways. The smoke rose out of the end of the cigarette, and out of his parted lips, spewing out the retched smoke he put the cigarette out and then hurled the whole pack and it out the window. The smoke drifted up, up, up, toward the top of her high-vaulted ceiling, and then out of the large windows he kept open.
"What is this?"
"It's a cigarette."
"What does it do? How does it work?"
"Just put it in your mouth--okay, not all the way--yeah, okay, and inhale."
Natalie coughed up a storm as smoke exited her mouth, the cigarette in her hand. She was doubled over from the force of the coughing, her lungs trying desperately to expel the toxic chemicals from her system.
"What is this? You do this for fun?”
“Not for fun, I just smoke."
"I don't get the concept. Why would you keep smoking if it hurts like this?"
"Well see it only hurts for you because you're a pussy, babe."
Natalie rolled her eyes, and tried again. She still coughed, but it didn't hurt quite as badly as it had before. Well, maybe there was something to this after all. She passed the cigarette to the boy next to her, and leaned her head on his shoulder.
"Natalie! What are you doing?"
Her brother had a scowl across his face as his eyes darted between her and the guy that was sitting next to her in the grass. It was obvious that Carter wasn’t fond of the male sitting next to her and influencing her to make poor choices that could shorten her life-span. He was always so protective like that.
"It’s nothing, I was just trying it. I don’t even like it."
"Leave her alone dude! It won’t kill her or anything…geez Charles-it’s not like we’re fucking her."
"His name is Carter and stop it Drew!" Rising up from the grass she dusted off the pastel dress and moved to stand next to Carter.
Her brother stood half way in front of Natalie, protectively. He glared at her boyfriend for several moments before grabbing Natalie’s hand and pulling her away. “Let’s go home.” He growled
Without any sign of protest or rejection, she looked down and allowed her brother to take her home. He always knew what was best for her. He knew what was good or bad for her. He merely wanted to protect her. Well, that’s what she told herself anyways.
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“Drew?”
“Yes, babe?”
“I-I don’t think I’m ready for this…”
Her boyfriend stared at her wide eyed and flabbergasted.. He was surprised about this. But really, he shouldn’t be. Natalie Crosse was the preacher daughter and practiced abstinence. She was always a goody two shoes and saw the good in everyone. She didn’t want to bend or break the rules. Maybe that’s why Drew was dating her. Then again, there was the thrill of taking her virginity and making a good girl go bad.
“What?”
“I’m not ready for this.”
He took her by the shoulders and flung her onto the bed. Immediately, he climbed on top of her and pinned her down on the bed. A voracious, hungry look glazed upon his eyes.
“N-no, Dre-“
To silence her, he smashed his lips upon hers. If she didn’t want to give it up, then he was going to take it. Tears filled in Natalie’s eyes and she silently protested. With all of her strength, she pushed the man off her.
“Get away from me, you freak!” She screamed. Placing her hand over her lips, she stared at him. “It’s over.”
And there, she left Drew, horny as fuck and single.
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When she had gotten home, Carter was home, but her parents weren’t. A teary- eyed, Natalie entered through the doorway, looking quite disheveled and upset. Her brother glanced up at her and immediately, a concerned, worried look crossed his handsome features. He rose up from his chair and made his way towards her, wrapping his arms around her in an embrace.
“Shh. What happened, Nat”
She shook her head. She didn’t really want to talk about it.
“You can tell me. I won’t tell mum or dad.”
“D-drew.”
His eyes narrowed at the sound of her boyfriend’s name. He knew that Drew meant trouble. Carter didn’t like Natalie’s boyfriends. They usually meant trouble.
“What about him? What did he do, Nat?”
“He tried to force me to have sex with him.”
Suddenly, as if it was on cue, the doorbell rang. Carter let go of Natalie and stormed towards the doorway. He flung the door open only to see Drew, that damned bastard, standing in front of the doorway.
“Look Nat, I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking ri-“
Carter rammed into Drew, sending the duo onto the ground. The pair was wrestling the grass, but somehow, Carter had gotten the upper hand. Clenching his hand into a fist and pulling his arm back, he punched Drew straight in the face. There was a sickening cracking sound. It was the sound of the poor boy’s nose breaking.
“Don’t ever touch my sister again!”
“Carter! Stop!”
“I swear, I will kill you if you ever get near her again.”
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Carter started rebelling the same way Natalie did, but after what happened with Drew, her actions seemed to have ceased to a stop. His brother’s actions kept getting worse and worse. It was rare if Natalie got to see him. He wouldn’t come home until the wee hours at night. He become keeping more secrets away from her. And now, he was starting to avoid her. Her relationship with her brother? Their relationship was falling apart. She felt like she didn’t even know her own brother anymore. He was known as the rebel and she, was back to the goody little two shoes. She was from a totally different world then him but being with him seemed to keep her grounded and provided an out from the crazy life that was their family. In the beginning it wasn’t an issue that she was from a different up-bringing; it was quite fun to sneak-about like the troublesome teenagers both could be but as she got older and realized that he was no lone a good influence on her. Although he was protective over her, he was always sneaking out and keeping secrets away from her.
Natalie couldn’t go to sleep. There was something bothering her but she couldn’t quite place a finger on what it was. Climbing out of bed, the female walked downstairs towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water. She heard some strange sounds. Immediately, her mind decided to run wild. Her mind was playing out the worst scenarios. A serial killer? Was she getting robbed? Her heartbeat began beating faster and she felt her breath get caught in her throat. Natalie was starting to panic now. She was now hearing footsteps coming closer towards her. She shut her eyes tightly, screamed and swung her fist around. She didn’t know what she would hit, but if it was a person, then it would be fine with her. Her fist was caught by someone.
“Nat. Shush. Don’t wake mum and dad”
“C-Carter?”
Letting of her hand, Carter took a step back. His hand was wet…and there was a coppery scent lingering on him. Finally, she decided to open her eyes. A small, horrified gasp escaped her lips when her mind finally processed the sight of her brother. His skin was scuffed, cut and bruised. He had a blade strapped to his thigh and a pistol in one hand. There was blood on him too. Terrified, the female took one step back, shaking her head.
“Look, Nat. It’s not what it looks like.”
The lights in the room and their parents stared at their children. Her mother had a break down; she watched as her father stopped eating and then helped her screaming mother up to their bedroom. Leaving Madeline with her older brother, she was almost just as disgusted as her mother was. The woman was talking so loudly to her father; one would think with the amount of money they put this home that the walls would be a little thicker. Discretion was never the woman’s strong suit as she screamed things about how he was bad for her, he wasn’t raised correctly, and why did they have a child like that. Pushing his plate away from him, he took her little sister’s hand and led her upstairs and tucked her in but the young girl refused to show any affection to her older brother, who seemed to have betrayed the family. Looking away dejectedly Carter shuffled to her room and slammed the door, locking it, and then throwing the skeleton key against the wall.
Carter knew what needed to be done and it should have been done weeks ago; he had to leave
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Natalie sighed and rolled her eyes as she waited for her mother to give her back the results of her finals.
"Really? That's the best you did? Madeline, you know you could have done better."
"And do what exactly, with my education Mum? Run for President? Or how about stay at home and be a housewife, like you want? What does it even matter anyway, I’m moving out to go to college?
Of course, this was a mistake; at the mention of leaving, Natalie's mother closed her eyes and inhaled sharply, her lips pursed in fear and displeasure.
"Don't speak like that Natalie. With these grades I'm surprised you have the audacity to talk like that to me."
Natalie could feel her anger rising, and her hand clenched into a fist. She ripped the paper from her mother's hand, and took a look for herself.
Final Results for Miss Natalie Crosse
Theatre History – A-
Marketing – A+
Computer Business and Integrated Science - A
Small Business Management - A
AP Calculus – A-
Advanced English Studies –A-
Forensic Science – B
Dance - A
Select Choir Ensemble – B-
Economics - A
"I don't even understand your issue - I got two B’s out of seven A’s!"
"But you could have done so much better. All the classes you even got A’s in are ridiculous - an A in dance? I thought you dropped that class."
"That's my favorite class," Natalie muttered, not looking her mother in the eye.
"I thought you grew out of that phase a long time ago – always wanting to get hands on and tinker with things that you shouldn’t; such a commoner trait. Just the thought should make you sick. Why can't you be a proper lady and excel in things that will help you in the future, things you're supposed to do well in? You're not a filthy commoner Natalie; you're a girl born in society. Act like it."
"You're just jealous because Father taught me how to change a tire, how to have a good poker face and all you can do is put on make up! You wish you could be me, Mother, but you can't! You're too wrapped up in this superficial, ancient rubbish. You're too busy trying to fit into this archaic idea of a woman to be an actual person."
Natalie Crosse had crossed a line--perhaps many of them--but it didn't matter to her. These things had never mattered to her, much less when she was having a row with her mother. Mrs. Crosse said nothing - she had been stunned into silence, for once. Instead she just turned her face, as if she could no longer even bare to look at her daughter any longer.
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College was—nice. Just that, it was nice, almost too nice if one could even fathom such a thing. Every part of her told her to leave and get away as far as possible but instead she stayed home, in the same room, with the same posters she had littered on her walls since High School. College was easy and almost the same as High School. She made good grades and for the most part kept out of trouble. Her parents were practically nonexistent these days; as if they ever were really there for her…
She could recall to this day the copious amounts of business trips that they would take or the couple retreats that they thought would strengthen their bond and spread their faith; which all led to an excessive amount of gifts that would be scattered around the floor amidst all the other toys and trinkets they used to fill the void. She’d grown used to the Christmas packages in the mail, or birthday presents months after the fact. It was fine, she never minded.
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The wealth -- it was gone. The luxury -- gone. The status, all of it, gone in a moment. Nataliee stared out her window, head resting against the glass, like always. Her knees were drawn up to her chest, thinking of the plight of their family. The Crosses had always been very wealthy, even if no one quite knew it. Her father, Derrick, had believed in saving, instead of spending it all on extravagant and frivolous things. He also believed in giving back to others. Natalie rolled her eyes. Her mother kept herself in her room -- even taking her meals there. Her father stayed in his study constantly, door locked, except very late at night when Natalie would hear it click and unlock. His footsteps would steal down the staircase, and she figured he was going off to the pantry to find something to eat. Sometimes, he would leave to go to the church to pray. Their home had stayed within their possession, but most everything that had marked them out as part of high society was gone. The paintings in all of the rooms of the house, the silk dresses, the expensive jewelry. Gone. It had never bothered Natalie, really, though her mother had been left crushed and humiliated. Her family had left the house for the summer and during such time it was robbed.
They tore the window curtains in their search, and opened up her armoire much harder than it really needed to be opened (they almost broke it, those bastards!). They managed to take all of the gowns her mother had forced her to wear since she was a child, Natalie was almost glad to be rid of them. As they opened the drawers at the bottom, they noticed her street clothes that she had stuffed under other dresses to keep them from her mother. Heaven forbid she'd ever found those cherished jeans, or that leather jacket, or that beautiful, Indian skirt, she would have thrown it all into the fire.
They had ransacked the place, taken their booty, and left. Everything was open at the hinges, bedspread askew, armoire open, drawers on the floor, curtains torn, some pearls on the floor when they had broken one of the many expensive necklaces Natalie owned that she hadn't wore since the last time her mother had made her. And it didn’t stay like that for long; instead they used this opportunity to renovate the entire home leaving Madeline two choices, she could either stay Carter’s place in Manuka or go with them to one of their other seasonal homes. The answer was obvious as she chose to stay with Carter; they had always been inseparable, even if they had fallen apart. This gave her a chance to try to rekindle her relationship with him.
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Her mother had given up on her completely; she had given up on everything, lately. The large house was in a state of stasis. Nothing had changed since the robbery. Her mother was stuck in her room, still in shock. No one had come to call in months. The memories of the galas, the constant stoicism forced down her throat, all of the tiniest rules and regulations, they all danced through her mind like ghosts. There was nothing left to hold on to, except the house itself. The ivy-covered front, the giant windows, the gilded banisters, the large oil paintings, the china and silverware from generations upon generations ago. That was all that was left. That was all that would be passed down to Natalie and her brother -- memories and this giant house, large enough to house all of the not-yet-forgotten traditions. All of the memories.
Natalie stretched and stood, her average stature and petite frame making her look rather impish. She walked out onto the balcony, elbows leaning on the railing, staring out onto the impressive grounds her home boasted. The grass was yellowing and decaying, brown in certain patches. The landscapers had yet to be rehired to come maintain the lawn. It was comical almost, how many things represented and symbolized what was going on internally. How many unconnected things mirrored such the life she was now living? Licking her lips, her eyes staring out into the horizon as the sun began dipping lower and lower, she wondered what the future would bring since she was now going to leave. This was going to be the last time she would step foot in this house.
She would’ve stayed longer with the her family but as her parents delayed on building the home she began to feel bad for being such and imposition, even though they would go to the grave denying she was such. Since being offered a spot to go live with her brother, her thoughts were filled with nothing but hopes and dreams, she would live in the city that never stopped, and yet she still had so much to experience! Things were just getting started for her. She would go to school in Manuka and study to have some kind of medical degree. She wanted to help and save people. Her parents didn’t pay much mind to it because it kept her out of trouble and well they wouldn’t admit it but they enjoyed the fact that she was studying to be something good. At least one child went on the right road, while the other one seemed to have fallen over the edge.
Things were going good for her…and maybe, they could get even better. She was only a small, curious girl that was searching for a little spice in her life. She didn’t know what was planned ahead for her.
app by kel <3
rp sample
nopee
