{ somebody that i used to know }

[CALLUM ZACHARY LEVINE]

[CALLUM ZACHARY LEVINE]

ENTRY ONE,
29th October 2010

You may be aware that this is not actually entry one; but I made a new blog for the new town we just moved to. It's called Manuka, and it's basically in the middle of nowhere. Needless to say, that I wasn't very happy about the move. Why? When I was getting all settled to start higher education back in England, I had a friend there ... and now, I would have to try and adapt to a new place. It's mu though, she thinks I'll get bullied less. Dad got a new job, and it pays well, or that's her excuse. But I've heard them shouting. They may think that just because I'm deaf I don't hear anything; I do when I have my hearing aid in. Her and dad would have fights about the ones that Grayson would get into at school for me because the kids picked on me. I feel awful, because this means that Grayson and Micah both have to leave their lives behind here because of me. They'd never hate me for it, but I still feel bad.

See that amazing girl right there? She's my best friend Franky. We've been friends since we were tiny, seriously, I never thought I'd find someone as amazing at her. I love her, not romantically, but as the only real friend I have. Is that sad? Yes, I think so, that I only ever had one friend. But I didn't need anyone else, because I had Franky. She learnt sign language for me, she basically lived at our house ... so you can guess at the infinite amount of tears that we shed when we were saying our goodbyes. She cried, I cried. I had never seen her cry so much, I guess that she thought I was her best friend too. But she's in England, and I'm in Manuka and I miss her already. So much. It was weird with her, and she'll appreciate reading this, that I never even thought about having a crush on her. Even when Micah and Grayson would talk about all the girls they kissed, I was happy just spending time with my best friend, not caring about kisses or anything, just concentrating on whatever we were doing. She was always the one to cause trouble, and I was like a sidekick you could say. I didn't mind though, she could get away with anything really. She was the single most important person in my life before we moved. Now I will have no one. Except Grayson. I'm so glad I still have him.

That idiot up there may look like me, but we're polar opposites. Grayson is my twin; older by one minute and he never lets me forget it. Don't get me wrong, I love him, I really do, but I worry about him. Even though he had always been popular, had girls all around him and I guess I had kind of been envious of that a few times, but my worry comes from his recklessness. Now that we moved to a whole new place, it should be easy for him to start afresh, make new friends. But if his habits carry on, the drinking, skipping class, not caring about anything ... well, It will get him into trouble. I can't really look out for him, because I just do not fit in with the people he hangs around with. And I don't like causing trouble, because I know that Grayson would fight for me if anyone picked on me. And I don't want to ruin his friendships, even if I may think the people around him are ignorant jerks. And that makes me feel lonelier, because he is never at home and I don't want that to continue here, because I doubt I'll make any friends. When I try to, I stutter and blush and just can't do it, when Grayson does it everyone's eyes are on him like he just revealed how the earth started.

Micah Levine. Five years older than me and Grayson and the one person that I look up to. Back in England, I would always go to him for stories about what he did that day. He never failed to intrigue me, and I could never imagine myself doing the things that he did. Well, I guess I shouldn't be proud of some of the things he did, of all the girls he had been with, but Micah is the one person I would trust to be alright through anything. He is so strong, and I guess this move would affect him the least. Because he did have quite a reputation in England, and this would be his chance for a fresh start. I think he would appreciate that, but I'm not sure. I just hope he sticks around here in Manuka. Even though he's over twenty; I really don't want to see him go. Is that selfish of me? Probably. But this is only day one, we'll see where tomorrow, next week, month, year takes us.

I'm gonna go to sleep now, mum is worried about tomorrow since dad is starting a new job, and Grayson and I are starting school next week. I just really hope that Manuka is different. That the people here are friendlier, I just really want to feel normal. I don't want to be looked at like a freak just because of my hearing problem. But I know I can't escape it. It helps that I am able to tune the rest of humanity out, and just be in my own little world. I just feel so sad right now, because Franky is no longer here. What am I to do with myself? I don't know ... I guess being alone is better than being with people who make you feel like poop. I'll go take pictures tomorrow, the only thing that I can do in a situation like this. See for perfect lighting, and just take it one day at a time and see what life has to bring me.