Post by THOMAS RAPHAEL EVERDEEN on Jul 10, 2013 12:41:08 GMT
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hi
you seem to be lost, not to be found
And how does it feel To be the one whose always in the way. To be the words that never made the page. Be the one that's always Left out in the rain. Is there a place within for redemption, Is there a voice inside with a decision. And if so when, and if so then, where's the conviction ---------------------------------
thomas needed some time to think, he needed time to breathe. It hadn't been long since he had escaped from the hands of the hunters together with Harper Way and they could be grateful to her pack. He owed his non-living life to them, and Thomas didn't like owning anyone anything. But that wasn't why he got here, that wasn't why he needed to think, he just needed some time to get his thoughts straight again. sometimes he just wondered why the hell he was even still doing all of this. why the hell he couldn't just move on and forget about her, to just go to the heavens and be happy, even if he didn't even deserved to go to heaven and probably would end up in hell, but even that he could live with, as long as he didn't have to stay here. everything was better than here, everything was better than to be reminded of what he had done and what he had lost every second for the rest of his eternity, sometimes he just felt like he couldn't bear it anymore.
letting out a sigh, the ghost sat down on a stone, stranded on the beach of the island, and placed his elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands as he tried to breathe, not that it was necessary, but maybe for a change it would make him feel normal again. He had only spend 300 miserable years extra on this earth so far, and he was so done with it. If only he could be with rosabella then everything would be fine, it shouldn't be so hard to find her, if she had wanted him to find her, and by now he started to realize that that wasn't the case and he also had found out why. clouds drifted through his mind as he tried to push it away again, breathing in, breathing out, just like he had told that little werewolf harper way that day when they had just been captured. he had talked to her some times after all that had pitched down, but both of them had needed some time to fully get it out of their system. even the 'heartless', stone-cold asshole thomas everdeen had needed some time to process all that had happened. after all, even if people had thrown stones at his head before for being contaged by the witch that had once been his love, you did not get tortured every day and as much as thomas had never given them the satisfaction of showing them they were getting to him, of course they had. Nobody was that numb that they could sit through something like harper and him had been through and not be affected by it at all.
and after that he had seen her, rosabella. he had seen her with another guy, and she looked happy. his rosabella. with another guy. he did not show himself to her, he just watched her for a while, feeling the content that she was happy and then made himself ready to cross over. Only... he didn't. He found her, looking at this other guy the way she used to look at him, back in the ancient days, he realized that she was happy and that that was all he wanted to know and that that meant he'd move on, finally, but he didn't. he was lost and confused as of why he was still here and what his mission was then, because he sure as hell didn't know. maybe it was because he hadn't apologized with her yet or tried to make things right, but things seemed to go well for her and he did not want to disturb all that with his presence, no matter how much he loved her. and he was competitive, so if she saw him and she did react in a way to him that made him feel like she still had feelings for him, he'd try to get her back, he really would. but he did not want to invade her life like that, it wasn't his right. so now what did he do? stay stuck here in limbo forever? walk right back into the manuka gun club and get himself forced to move on anyways? for a moment thomas was just completely lost, and for the first time in over 300 years, he did not have a goal at all. his quest had always been to get rosabella back, and now that he knew she was in love with someone else, he was like a ship without crew, a crow that didn't know how to fly to the south.
and then he started doubting. but before his thoughts could fly anywhere about having misinterpreted rosabella's looks at the guy, since she wasn't one for love, he knew that better than anyone, he had worked his ass off to get her, that maybe he was wrong and still did have a chance and that he should just go for it, he heard the crack of footsteps behind him. extra cautious after his attack, the ghost stayed still, ready to poof into invisibility whenever he had to. "You should truly work on the way you're sneaking up on people, I'm pretty sure an elephant would have done that better." he said sarcastically, because even a traumatic event as he had been through could not change the ghost into a pleasant person. maybe nothing could.
letting out a sigh, the ghost sat down on a stone, stranded on the beach of the island, and placed his elbows on his knees, his head resting in his hands as he tried to breathe, not that it was necessary, but maybe for a change it would make him feel normal again. He had only spend 300 miserable years extra on this earth so far, and he was so done with it. If only he could be with rosabella then everything would be fine, it shouldn't be so hard to find her, if she had wanted him to find her, and by now he started to realize that that wasn't the case and he also had found out why. clouds drifted through his mind as he tried to push it away again, breathing in, breathing out, just like he had told that little werewolf harper way that day when they had just been captured. he had talked to her some times after all that had pitched down, but both of them had needed some time to fully get it out of their system. even the 'heartless', stone-cold asshole thomas everdeen had needed some time to process all that had happened. after all, even if people had thrown stones at his head before for being contaged by the witch that had once been his love, you did not get tortured every day and as much as thomas had never given them the satisfaction of showing them they were getting to him, of course they had. Nobody was that numb that they could sit through something like harper and him had been through and not be affected by it at all.
and after that he had seen her, rosabella. he had seen her with another guy, and she looked happy. his rosabella. with another guy. he did not show himself to her, he just watched her for a while, feeling the content that she was happy and then made himself ready to cross over. Only... he didn't. He found her, looking at this other guy the way she used to look at him, back in the ancient days, he realized that she was happy and that that was all he wanted to know and that that meant he'd move on, finally, but he didn't. he was lost and confused as of why he was still here and what his mission was then, because he sure as hell didn't know. maybe it was because he hadn't apologized with her yet or tried to make things right, but things seemed to go well for her and he did not want to disturb all that with his presence, no matter how much he loved her. and he was competitive, so if she saw him and she did react in a way to him that made him feel like she still had feelings for him, he'd try to get her back, he really would. but he did not want to invade her life like that, it wasn't his right. so now what did he do? stay stuck here in limbo forever? walk right back into the manuka gun club and get himself forced to move on anyways? for a moment thomas was just completely lost, and for the first time in over 300 years, he did not have a goal at all. his quest had always been to get rosabella back, and now that he knew she was in love with someone else, he was like a ship without crew, a crow that didn't know how to fly to the south.
and then he started doubting. but before his thoughts could fly anywhere about having misinterpreted rosabella's looks at the guy, since she wasn't one for love, he knew that better than anyone, he had worked his ass off to get her, that maybe he was wrong and still did have a chance and that he should just go for it, he heard the crack of footsteps behind him. extra cautious after his attack, the ghost stayed still, ready to poof into invisibility whenever he had to. "You should truly work on the way you're sneaking up on people, I'm pretty sure an elephant would have done that better." he said sarcastically, because even a traumatic event as he had been through could not change the ghost into a pleasant person. maybe nothing could.
thanks sophia of caution.
hi
hi
