what you deserve [open]

[JEREMIAH XAVIER WINCHESTER]

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you can’t trust everyone you meet

they won't amount to anything

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[style=width: 288px; font-family: arial; font-size:10px; line-height:91%; text-align:justify; background-color: #e1e1e1; padding: 15px; color: #000;]Jeremiah had finally gotten Ryland to say “I love you” to him. And that marked the near end of his assignment with her. He had figured everythig out: how he was going to kill her, how he was going to dispose of her body, and finally, how he was going to show the proof to Ryland’s aunt without having to send a picture via phone. Everything was all settled and he was now preparing himself for it all. There was only one real issue and that was he just couldn’t seem to think about killing her without feeling this aching in his stomach. He had never before felt so sick when thinking of killing someone and he could only think that it was because he had started liking her. Jeremiah couldn’t help it. She was beautiful and adorable, even when she was angry. He didn’t know what he was going to do with himself, so he had brought his acquaintance Noah here to help him with things because he needed to get his head straight. He knew that if he couldn’t finish the job, Noah would help him, or if need be, he’d finish it himself. Still, Jeremiah couldn’t think about it without feeling pain. This was going to be the hardest job of his life.

But it wasn far from over. He had to keep her in love with him. Jeremiah had never been loved by anyone other than his parents, so it felt weird having someone say they loved you. It was so foreign that he hadn’t known what to say back in the first place. His whole façade had vanished for a few seconds before he finally gathered himself again and kissed her so he didn’t have to respond. Now he was on his way to the botiques to get her a present, which he had never done in his entire life. Today he was taking a break from Ryland and from his incognito life, and he was just Jeremiah, which actually didn’t feel that different strangely enough.

The botiques were unfamiliar to him and he didn’t know where to start. He heard a bell ring as a door opened and decided that was a good enough sign for him as any. So he walked to the same door, opened it, and listened as the bell rang again, signalling to the owner or whoever was working that there were more customers. Jeremiah walked forward to where a rack of clothing hung. He fingered through it and wasn’t satisfied with any of it. So he moved on to where te jewelry was. There were a few things here and there, but nothing that he thought Ryland would enjoy. Actually, he didn’t really know what she would want for a present anyway. She was too difficult to buy for. People in general were, and this was precisely why he needed help. But who the hell would he call for something like this? Kenna was out because she hated him and he wouldn’t call that bitch if it was the last thing he did. Jeremiah hated asking for help in general.

He exited the shop and walked down the street more. He decided window-shopping would be a better plan since he didn’t want to go into every store and find nothing. They smelled weird and he didn’t like the cramped feeling he got. So he continued down the street searching for anything when he ran into someone. He backpettalled a few steps and looked down at whoever it was that had run into him without saying a word.

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OPEN! HEYYYYYY!. OUTFIT IS HERE!

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TILLIE AT CAUTION

[milo]

With his eyes still closed, he parted his lips and took in his first full deep breathe dragging the oxygen as far inside his lungs as he could force it to go, before letting it all go with a shudder. The shudder running from the back of his neck to the base of his spine with enough force to move the rickety bedframe beneath him. He repeated the process of taking in a breathe as far as he could several times, every time with more seconds lingering between the breathes. Time to lick his lips, or bite them, to dig his nails deeper into his palms, until the burning in the back of his eyelids was gone. Once he was sure it was gone, that nothing was going to send him rocketing back to that place he jumped out of bed.

The headphones he’d fallen asleep wearing were on the ground next to his bed, their cords all tangled up in each other and his ipod with the rest of the clutter on his floor. Since Milo had begun living with just himself he’d become more conscious of the mess he was making as he made it, had been more diligent about cleaning up after himself once he was done making the mess. Always in a rush to put things back as they were, because when things were clean he was better able to stop fixating on the fact that he was the only one left to make messes anymore. It was probably going to spurn out and become some sort of unhealthy OCD to just further push him into being a fucked up individual but he couldn’t help but think how much his brother would have loved his new found fondness for cleaning, but she...she would have hated it. Just like he hated how much his heart hurt when he thought about her.

Most mornings Milo put on the headphones before he left bed, to block out the silence and he kept them on until he fell asleep. But three days in a row of doing so had left his battery with barely enough juice to let him fall asleep with it. He scooped it up and put it in the dock to charge before jumping in the shower and getting dressed. He managed all of thirty minutes, a new record, before the silence started to drive him back to the point of tears at which point he decided that he wasn’t going to be able to hang out at home today.

School was out for the summer, not that Milo had really been going much or at all in the past few months, and he didn’t have a job so besides his own will there hadn’t been much of a reason for Milo to leave his apartment for the past couple months. His brother and best friend were dead, there was no one to bother him about going anywhere, and while it’d been awesome for about two days, being outside now and all but fighting off the urge to flinch at how much sound the street traffic was making was forcing him to realize he’d really become more of a shut in than he’d ever meant to become. He was dodging around someone when he accidentally knocked into some dude, on another day in another time Milo would have smiled at the guy and held his head high as he apologized now he nodded his head eyes at the ground before mumbling ”sorry.” to the guy in question.

After a second even he felt ridiculous until he lifted his head and raised his eyebrows at the guy and giving an extra, ”We cool man? to make sure he hadn’t terribly offended the guy. At least if he had the guy would probably write it off as Milo being some punkass and that wouldn’t bother him as he was used to it.

outfit words: 6578 notes: ally ally hope you don't mind me grabbin this

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