familiar faces everywhere [loren]

[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

Paperwork for her job was the worst. Of course it was a necessary evil, and her parents had been really good about helping he figure out all the legal nuances and other things to consider while filling it out, but now that she was on her own, Meredia had to rely on a handy little sheet of paper that she kept with her in her files so she'd remember how to do everything properly. Without it, she wouldn't even remember her Social Security Number – it was kind of sad. Today, she was working on paperwork that would result in a contract for three new bands that wanted her to cut two demo albums of five songs each for submission to major music labels, and the other band wanted her to pen three new tracks for their third album, which needed an 'update' from their old sound. Meredia was sort of a musical gypsy – she dabbed in all styles, forms, and types of music because she just loved it all. Whether it was a mainstream recording artist, an underground band that needed a little extra help, or someone looking for a few songs for an in-progress musical, she'd kind of done it all.

A true New Yorker, Meredia couldn't function with doing any sort of serious business or work stuff without a little bit of coffee, so she'd walked from her apartment to Steaming Beans, a coffee shop that was fairly close and snagged one of the inside tables, even though it was a sunny day and she really didn't want to be inside. She had her work cut out for her, though, and with all these new contracts coming in, she knew she'd be busy for a good while writing songs and perfecting other pieces to be submitted to actual artists. She didn't just write for her contracts – Meredia tried to strike when the iron was hot, especially with her condition, because she'd learned that you really couldn't stifle creativity when it wanted to flow. At her apartment, there was a carefully organized series of files: work for submission, legal stuff, works in progress, and things that were just for her. The mermaid had no desire for a solo career or anything, and much preferred to be the mind behind the music and great lyrics, but sometimes writing music for her was a form of catharsis – it helped her get out whatever was troubling her, and sometimes, she had a lot of troubles on her plate. She did her best to be optimistic, really, but sometimes the bitterness seeped in and hit her all the way down to her bones. Stefano, the little pet name for her tumor, was a pain in the ass that liked to steal from her at the most inopportune moments sometimes, and while she knew she was very successful in her career, especially for someone her age, she couldn't help but wonder if greatness would be easier to achieve if she was, well... normal.

After taking another sip of her coffee and scribbling down information in more of the blank forms, Meredia noticed someone walking by her table. Due to her naturally curious nature, she looked up – well... he was certainly handsome. And for some reason, when their eyes met briefly, just in passing, she felt something. A spark. A long-misplaced beacon of familiarity that she just couldn't put her finger on. She thought, for a moment, that maybe he had the same sense of recognition in his eyes, and she gave him a little half-smile, just to be friendly, and then scrambled to find the little notebook she kept with information on people she'd met recently and had since forgotten. Thumbing through the green tabs, which meant they were classified as 'good' interactions, she looked for anything that would describe this man. Tall, beautiful smile, endless dark eyes she could drown in. Crap. Nothing.

Meredia chewed on the end of her pen and sighed – some things just weren't meant to be, apparently. Maybe she didn't know him, but something in her wanted to. She just wasn't brave enough to go introduce herself and end up making a re-introduction that would make the situation turn really awkward very quickly. Especially if her mind was playing tricks on her again.


OUTFIT:

[/color] Here![/blockquote][/justify]

[LOREN ALEXANDER ASTOR]

[style=height: 50px; font-family: 'Sacramento', cursive; font-size:30px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: salmon; text-transform: lowercase; text-align: center; padding-top: 20px;]confess your love your love

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While Loren didn’t like being a man of routine, he felt like it would be hard to start his day without visiting the Steaming Beans. He tried to make it not too much of a rut by changing what he got every time he went. The faerie must have tried the menu five times already. There was no one in there saying ‘hey, Loren, the usual?’ It was always ‘hey, Loren, what’s the choice today?’ It gave it a different spark. Something that was spontaneous and something that he was going to try. That morning, he had eaten quite a bit of sugar. Just this snacking little stuff that made him feel like he should have something healthier. Not so heavy. That could only mean one thing- tea. Chai tea sounded like the best plan. He didn’t know if it was a weird side effect from being himself, but he really did have this giant sweet tooth. The tea wasn’t exactly sweet, but it was thicker than the regular. Yes, he had thought deep about this.

It was easier since sometimes the lines were just absolutely ridiculous. Instead of going up there and wondering what he wanted for five minutes while he thought about it, he could instantly get it and order it. He knew who was working and everything. Walking over (since he rarely drove), he entered the doors. There weren’t many people there, and at that moment, he didn’t look at everyone who was in there. He chatted with the person behind the counter for a couple of moments, seeing as there wasn’t this giant line behind him. Caught up with her, felt like everything was fine and dandy. Loren always tried to remain happy and positive. A trait that seemed annoying by some, but there wasn’t much he could do to really help that. It was rather that or he would start to get down on himself. That was never a good plan. Medication was only masking the problem, and if something triggered it, it took a little harder of a push. Man, he hated it. It was worth smiling. It was hard to care about what others thought when it was his own sanity at stake. It was an easy way to look at it. If he had thought like that in the first place, maybe he wouldn’t have the problems he did.

His drink was ready. It had been rather quick to make, so that wasn’t surprising. Just tea and milk. He grabbed it, turned around to find a place to sit down for a couple of solid calming moments. Something to reflect on himself. It sounded like stupid cheesy crap, but the more he thought, the better off he was. The more rational thoughts might run through his head. Just as long as his running thoughts were pointed in the right direction, they did many wonders. It was all mental in the end, wasn’t it? Turning around, he whistled a small tune that had been stuck in his head all morning. Disaster Boy by Cobra Starship. He listened to all sorts of music. There wasn’t a limit or an end to what he listened to. He seemed to be in that kind of mood today, however. As he whistled the end of the chorus, he spotted someone. Not just any someone. Oh, no, Loren would never in the life of a million years forget that face. That face was his savior. Memories came back to him at once. Standing on a cliff, looking down. Feeling like nothing would be better to him than to take a step forward and fly straight down. Then she came. Her eyes caught his and he saw they were just as blue. Her face was just as delicate. The light came once again.

Loren had been looking for this girl ever since the event. The one that literally switched his life around. He was sure she knew how important this was for him. All this time, and here she was. Right here. What did he say? Loren looked over himself, suddenly feeling nervous. It was a little nerve racking talking to someone who knew how messed up you were, but at the same time, he was glad she was there. He wouldn’t be standing there if it weren’t for her. With attempt of confidence, he came up to her. ”Whoa, hey, I know you.” He grinned, figuring if there was a good place to start. She looked like she was working on something, so he wouldn’t try to take up too much of her time. Just chatting, and wanting to let her know he was doing okay because of her. Say thank you. ”We… uh- met like… six years ago.” Was it that long ago? No, it couldn’t be. Probably shorter than that. Time flew.

meredia/cj • uh yeah couldn't wait <333 • 807 words

[/style]

thanks stark

[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

While most of Meredia's emotions and feelings were pretty well in-check and mostly positive, she definitely hated the feeling the came from some vague recognition with no memory attached. Nobody liked to feel like they were forgettable, and even though most people were understanding when she actually got to explain her situation, which was pretty much an extraordinary circumstance, they tended to be a little more forgiving. Still, she didn't always forgive herself, and took it pretty hard when she really wanted to remember someone and just couldn't. It was like permanently having something on the tip of your tongue but never, ever remembering what it was that you were thinking about. Except with people. And people were much more important than, say, that song you heard on the radio the other day and wanted to download. At least, in her opinion. Before she'd left the nest, her parents had made sure that she was properly prepared to deal with the every day world and made sure that she learned proper note-taking and journaling skills – then, it was just up to her to make sure all of her Post-its and other random notes were visible and in locations that she'd actually see so she could remember to actually read her journal in the morning and refresh the little pieces of her memory that had stayed put. Some days were better than others, because everything was cyclical, even brain tumors, but other days she didn't even remember her mermaid status until she saw the Post-it in the center of her door that said: “Be careful of water! Especially in public.” It was cryptic, but usually that was enough to jog her memory.

After the handsome dark-headed man passed her table and they shared a look that accentuated that feeling that Meredia hated, she quickly thumbed through her notebook, through her journal, trying to use her meticulous planning system to try to find something, anything, and found nothing. Oh crap, if he really did know her, she'd have to tell him, and wouldn't that be awkward? It was always awkward, but he looked to be nice. Understanding. Sweet, even. There was something about him that made Meredia feel at ease, even though he was walking toward her table with a pointed look on his face: oh yeah, he definitely knew who she was, but she had nothing. Nothing at all. However, friendly to the very end, Meredia put a smile on her face, hoping to appear welcoming even though she was freaking out internally. She just let him talk when his smooth voice passed over her, and bit her lip a little. Six years ago? Wow. Yeah, no way that was happening in her memory bank.

She used to visit Manuka with her parents in the summer sometimes when they didn't want to stay in the city and her mother wasn't in the middle of a production. Meredia remembered that from a photo album she had – for some reason, pictures were easier to remember for her. The reason they'd chosen Manuka was because the beaches in Jersey required you to pay or something equally silly, but Meredia had always held a fondness for Manuka, though she couldn't say why. It was beautiful, most of the people were nice – lots of water, too. Maybe she met him on one of her family vacations? But what she couldn't get over was the fact that he still remembered her after six years. Even the normal person's memory wasn't that good, from what she knew. ”Six years ago?” Meredia started, hoping that it was a decent opener. She laced her fingers together, planting her lips against her fingertips and gestured to the chair across from her after she'd had a moment to collect herself. Really, he had the prettiest eyes. Wow.

”Listen... this is going to sound terrible, and I promise I'm not making it up, but...” she said once she felt that he was a little more comfortable. ”I have no earthly idea who you are. I mean... there's something about you that seems... familiar. Please don't take it personally or anything – you're not forgettable, I'm sure. To anyone else, you'd probably be really easy to remember because you're gorgeous,” Meredia said, blurting out the words in a nervous rush before she really realized what she said. Oh, wow. Way to soften the blow, space cadet.

If he wasn't shocked already by her rambling or accidental compliment, he was probably going to be. ”I probably wouldn't remember you even if we met, like... a week ago. I have a brain tumor. Not lethal, just... a pain in the ass.” The last part she uttered on a little sigh. Really, that's what Stefano was – a giant pain in her brain, but 'ass' was a more accepted turn of phrase. Would he run away scared from the crazy girl? Would he think that she was just making stuff up to get rid of him? She certainly hoped not – he just seemed so nice. ”Would you... would you tell me how we met? I used to vacation here with my family when I was younger, probably did six years ago. I'm from New York, and summers in the city aren't always fun. And summers here are pretty great, from what I've experienced so far.” Well, now all that was out in the open: the rest was up to him.

[/justify]

[LOREN ALEXANDER ASTOR]

[style=height: 50px; font-family: 'Sacramento', cursive; font-size:30px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: salmon; text-transform: lowercase; text-align: center; padding-top: 20px;]confess your love your love

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Another life lesson that Loren had to learn was not to second-guess himself too much. Second-guessing was a way of doubting himself, obviously. Mostly, he learned to act on impulse. Both regrettable and not, depending on the situation. The faerie just had to remain positive, so doubting himself wasn’t the way to that goal. All doubting did was make his stomach turn in the most uncomfortable of ways. Made it so he felt like he was going to be sick in a couple of moments, his face always turning pale, and his lip becoming raw from biting it so much. A bad habit of his when he was extremely nervous. He had some vicious teeth, which he actually found amusing considering some of the faerie lore in the human culture. That the teeth were pointy and sharp. He supposed that were true. If he were ever to tell a human, he would try to lighten up the mood by pointing that out. Oh- that was a good one. Where was a pen and paper when you needed it?

Even though he didn’t try to second-guess himself often, he did start a little bit at that moment. Who did he think he was, just going up to someone randomly and asking if they knew him from six years ago. Six years ago. It actually didn’t seem that long to him, but now that he told her, it occurred to him at that moment. Did he remember those from six years ago? With a frown, he realized that he did remember them. Not in a positive way. The majority of people in his life during that time were the ones sending him to the edge of that cliff. No pleasant memories there. It was a six years ago that he would rather put at the back of his mind forever than try to remember it once again. Get it out of your head. Loren felt himself more at ease. He was social. This kind of stuff he was actually used to. If he wasn’t social, being any kind of nature guy would be rather difficult. No one liked an anti-social nature guy! Or so he had been told.

When she began, he thought that she was going to shoo him away. He gripped his cup to try not to hide his nervousness. He really usually wasn’t this awkward and nervous to others. It was just this woman. Something about her. The one who changed his life. From the sound of it, it was unlikely she remembered him. It was just as much. Loren understood. Sitting down at the offered seat, he began, ”Uh, yeah. I mean, I get if you don’t remember me since it was so-“ But it looked like she was going to explain herself, so he kept his mouth shut. If any of his experiences had taught him anything, it was that being a listener was one of the most valued attributes in a person. When someone didn’t listen to another being, it wasn’t likely many people took the time to talk to them. Loren, with his expression still positive, starting listening to her. His face started to fall. Even though he said he understood, it still hit him a little harder than it should.

She continued, however. This he wasn’t expecting. It sounded like a complete made up story. Loren eyed her carefully, but the way she was looking at him. The way she was talking. It sounded like the truth. Even nervous like and unsure. Yet, truthful. There was no reason to lie to him, he supposed. Although, he was sure that he was an easy person to forget. No- wait. No, Loren, you will not start thinking down that path. Get it out of your head and move it somewhere else. Right now was not the time to start becoming down on yourself because of a few simple words from this angel in front of you. Considering he knew about the rest of the supernatural world, he didn’t doubt that an angel was one of the possibilities. More than likely, she was human, but there was always a chance of having another surprise coming. ”Wow.” Was all he could say. What else could he say? Sorry? Sorry for this brain tumor that made you forget people. His heart sunk. How sad. How lonely of a life. Man, it must have been hard. Suddenly, he felt more embarrassed that she saw him in the position she did. He was dealing with immature teenagers picking on him. She was dealing with a life long problem.

Loren froze. The features on his face twisting in a different way. She wanted to know how they met. It wasn’t exactly a light and positive subject to talk about. It wasn’t something that put him in his general happy mood. He made a sound that sounded like a laugh, but it wasn’t anything funny. His finger lightly touched the ring of his drink, going around in circles as he stared at it to get him to relax. That was an intense story she just told him. What he would tell her would just be over the top. How could someone just casually put ‘oh well, I was about to kill myself, and you stepped in and saved the day.’ This he hadn’t been expecting or picturing when he had been thinking about seeing her again. ”Well- heh- that’s a um… long story. I was…” this wasn’t something easy for him to talk about, but he thought she should know a little bit of what she did, at least. Know how wonderful she was for saving a life. ”You saved my life.” He gave a small sideways smile even if there was a small strain to it. His usual glittering happy eyes turned slightly darker at the memories. God, how was he supposed to tell her this calmly?

meredia/cj • jifeopawjf ahhhhh <333333 • 985 words

[/style]

thanks stark

[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

One of the worst things about Stefano was when he caused her to forget important things that ended up hurting people's feelings. Really, Meredia was a nice person, and always tried to be aware of others' feelings. Of course, it was impossible to go through life without hurting at least one person, but she had done her best to avoid it whenever possible. The brain tumor made that really hard sometimes, and while it didn't happen all the time, she had pages of notes with botched encounters that had ended up someone's feelings getting hurt. She'd stood them up on a date, whether they were friends or otherwise, or she'd woken up next to a fun one-night stand or several time encounter without even knowing their name or sometimes, even where she was. That was why she always tried to be up front about her condition, even though it was kind of embarrassing sometimes to be 'that girl with the tumor.' Meredia never wanted it to hold her back from leading a relatively normal life, and her parents had been extremely vigilant and good about preparing her for the real world and dealing with people and responsibilities on a daily basis. Yet, she couldn't say that she loved the look on the handsome young stranger's face when she told him, pretty bluntly, that she didn't remember who he was. Of course, he took that to mean that it was because of the time difference – six years was a pretty long time – and rolled with that.

Disappointment. That was the look on his lovely features. Meredia's heart twinged a little, and she wanted to do something, anything to make him feel better. She didn't want him to feel like he wasn't important, because maybe six years ago he had been important to her. Surely he was important to somebody, and certainly worth remembering, so she tried to tell him that. It took the mermaid a minute to collect herself before she dove into her sad, tragic story that got her pity sometimes, which was a reaction that she strongly disliked. Even though she'd been dealt a rough hand, Meredia didn't feel sorry for herself, and she certainly didn't want some stranger to feel sorry for her, either. If she'd learned anything from her diagnosis, it was how to recover in the face of adversity and to face life's most difficult challenges head-on, with a smile on her face. There were always those times when she became bitter and resentful, times when she wished she could just be normal, but realistically, she knew the only way to remove the tumor would be to give up her life as well. So, since she was pretty fond of her life – inconvenient as it was sometimes – she had learned to make nice with Stefano, and make the best of a bad situation.

”So yeah, that's why I didn't remember you. Really, it's nothing against you... I just... I forget everyone,” she replied to his 'wow' response. At least it wasn't pity. She'd take shock and quiet understanding, processing and gears turning in the human brain to acknowledge the response, any day. ”I'm sure you're a pretty hard guy to forget, for most people.” Even though she couldn't shake the feeling of familiarity that she just couldn't place, he seemed... nice. Genuine. Sweet. And he was handsome, so Meredia figured that there had to be someone out there that was crazy about him. Someone who cared for him. Even if she had forgotten whatever encounter they'd had six years ago... which had to be something big enough that he'd remember it. Now that her condition was out in the open, she wanted to figure out how they'd met. So she asked, hoping that he'd be amenable to sharing their story, whatever it was.

His features froze, and she could tell that he was kind of nervous. Why would he be nervous? Meredia felt butterflies for a moment, hoping that this wasn't a case of another one-night stand that she'd forgotten, or bailed on, or some guy that she'd dated over the summer and then left heartbroken. He really seemed too nice for that. But, she didn't want him to just feel like he had to jump into it; there could be some middle-ground that might allow for a nicer transition that put him less on the spot. ”I don't know if I told you my name... if you remember it, but I'm Meredia. Meredia Roth,” she extended her hand, hoping that he'd accept a little handshake. It was kind of like a peace offering, because really she didn't want to make this guy uncomfortable by being around her. ”What's your name? If you don't tell me, I'll just make a nickname up for you in my little book here. It's how I keep track of most of my encounters. I started it a couple years ago... like a planner. And I can't promise that it'll be completely flattering if you're not nice to me.”

Finally, he seemed comfortable enough to start the story, and she was willing to listen. Especially because he had such a nice speaking voice. Musical, almost. She wondered for a moment if he sang, or if he even liked music, but she figured there was plenty of time for them to talk longer – or at least, she hoped there was – after they got over this white elephant that was sitting in the room between them. When he got around to starting it, even if it was in a vague sense, Meredia's jaw dropped. She... she what? Saved his... how?

”I saved your life?” Meredia asked, her voice quiet and soft, honestly shocked. ”I just... wow. That's... really? As in... legitimately, I saved your life? I'm... I'm sorry if I'm shocked because that's. God, I feel like an ass for not remembering something like that, and... for what it's worth, I'm really glad you're still here. Even if I feel terrible for forgetting you.” Meredia noticed that his eyes changed, that he seemed... different with the memories that had to be washing over him. Since they had a connection, at least in the past, she decided to be a little bold. She reached out and patted his hand for a minute, almost feeling a flicker of sadness wash over her when she did. Quietly, she spoke to him. ”Honey, it's okay. If it's too hard to talk about, you don't have to tell me. But if you can... I'm here to listen, okay?” She smiled kindly, and took her hand away, hoping that the reassurance would be enough to make him a little more comfortable.

[/justify]

[LOREN ALEXANDER ASTOR]

[style=height: 50px; font-family: 'Sacramento', cursive; font-size:30px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: salmon; text-transform: lowercase; text-align: center; padding-top: 20px;]confess your love your love

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Being a faerie could be a real pain in his ass sometimes. He was pretty sure that was some of the reasons for him going into that depressive state when he was younger. Emotions were everything for him. Without emotions, he couldn’t live. That’s what faerie’s had to feed off of. They could feel it, see it, and they could vibe it off to others (a dangerous situation if you were face to face with a hunter who was trying to figure out if you were human as you claimed or not). He was trying not to put off any vibes to her. Loren was an emotional person, always had been. He tried to push it aside the best he could though. Fret over it later and be unsure. At the moment time, he always tried to put it back with a smile. Here, it was a little more difficult. The whole situation was something someone could pull right out of a movie script. Someone whose whole life was thanks to this one person, and this one person had a tumor that prevented her from knowing and remembering him. Most people might have been skeptical of that (as really what were the odds of having something like that), but Loren believed her. He was able to look into those gorgeous eyes and believe her.

She was just as much of a saint as he remembered her being. Unbelievably kind and easy to talk to. Even in the small moments they exchanged words, Loren felt this woman could convince him of anything. She could talk anything out of him. It was lucky he wasn’t some type of spy, or all the secrets would have been spilled over coffee at the steaming beans. She made him feel like his opinion was valid. His opinion was something so important that it craved others to ask what it was. Important. Loren was important. It was a true phrase in his life. A phrase he was able to say. Speak fluently because he had repeated it to himself so many times. It was amazing what the brain could convince itself of. It was a science that Loren didn’t have a clue about except that it apparently worked. His big brown eyes were able to focus on her as she apologized. It couldn’t be an easy thing to admit or live with. Poor woman. She continued to be very charming, to say the least. ”Ha, yeah, I’d like to think so.” He’d like to think he made an impression on someone else’s life. A positive impression. Someone to remember years from now and hope to see again. Loren might have mentioned he never forgot her, but he didn’t know if that’d make her feel bad or not, so he kept his mouth shut.

Loren wondered what her job was. She seemed to so easily spill out words that calmed him down and made him more reassured of himself. All the second-guessing he was doing earlier was pretty much out the window. She was the type of woman people wrote songs about. The song titles being of people. Like Stella. Dear Maria. Both from the same artists. Another smile came on his lips as he reached out and shook her hand. After all this time, the one thing he hadn’t known about her that he should have was her name. They never really exchanged names that night. Loren kept calling her the angel in his own head. He never repeated that story to anyone except for Crawford Young. His therapist. That was a different matter. Technically, nothing he said in there was ‘officially’ said. All behind doors and as if it never happened. Meredia Roth.

At her humor later, he did manage to laugh lightly. Not in nervousness or unsure feelings, but an actual laugh. ”Oh, I better be kinder then, huh?” He teased, anyone knowing him knowing he would be kind to the meanest of people. Except bullies. No bullies. ”My name is Loren.” He made a habit of not saying his last name because sometimes the last name ‘Astor’ could be uh… not approving. ”But you can give me a nickname if you want. It’s only fair since I didn’t know your name when we met, I gave you a nickname…” Hoping that she’d understand that one. But as he spoke, he realized that the next question was of course ‘what nickname’ and he’d have to tell her. He didn’t think that one out. Well, no regrets Loren. Live life without looking back and regretting what you did. That was the whole purpose of it. He should be used to it by now. Still, besides the pep-talk, he sometimes felt really stupid.

Her shock came out of her face and Loren had to look down for a couple of moments as she went on. His heart was dropping and he knew that the time was nearing. Trying to ease himself up, he said in a sing-song voice, ”You knew how to save a life.” In the melody of the song by the Fray. Most people thought it was rather odd he did stuff like that, but songs made him happy. Even sad songs (as long as they were beautifully written and played) made him happy afterwards. Music was one of those releases, and people could think what they wanted. It gave Loren enough courage to smile shyly and look back at her. She reached over, and he felt a wave wash over his body when they kept in contact. She actually felt bad? Loren might have smiled wider under less serious circumstances, ”No, no, no, you explained it, I get it. Maybe you’ll find me in your planner,” he teased.

Loren could have stopped and not told her, but… he felt like it would just nag at him if they talked more. Still, he supposed he could leave out some details. Tell her little by little. ”You’re as much of a saint as I remember,” He mused to himself, adding, ”I was just going through a really rough time. You were just… there for a moment when I felt that no one was. It’s got to sound damn weird out of context, but all you did was be kind and listen to me ramble.” It hadn’t been so much of a ramble as a whole crying mess, but those were the type of details he could just push away, ”But I came over here cause… well after that, I wanted to know more about you.” Another smile on his face as he took a drink, feeling his heart thudding harder in his chest.

meredia/cj • how the boo are these two so damn perfect? <3 • 1108 words

[/style]

thanks stark

[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

Even though she had known this guy for – well, she didn't have a watch, so she just had to guess – about five minutes? Maybe ten? She already kind of felt like she knew him, which was confirmed by the fact that she did know him... sort of. Six years was a very long time, especially for someone like her, but Meredia was mostly stunned by the fact that despite the major gap in years, he still remembered her. Maybe he had some kind of perfect memory, like that saying about elephants. Wouldn't that just be her luck? Some beautiful man talks to her for some reason that was previously unknown to her and has a perfect memory while hers was basically full of holes. Well, that wasn't exactly true. There were no holes or anything, just a giant tumor taking up an entire quadrant of her brain that was otherwise, perfectly normal. Even above average, if her intelligence was anything to factor in. She'd always been a gifted child, and even got to function normally for the majority of her life before Stefano had to come along and ruin everything. It was a worry, that this guy would think she was lying about the tumor just to have some kind of 'out' so she wouldn't feel bad for not remembering whatever it was that really seemed to be so important to him. So, Meredia did something that she was really quite used to: apologize profusely.

Tall, dark, and gorgeous seemed to take it well, because he was fairly open with her explanation, and didn't yell or throw things at her for being a dirty liar or anything. Well, nobody had ever really had that reaction, that was a little extreme, but she'd taken notes on a few circumstances – thankfully, none that she remembered in detail – where someone had accused her of being a liar or other kind of cruel things because they were... emotionally invested. Yes, she was talking about one-night stands, or other brief romantic entanglements. What? Just because a girl had a little bit of memory loss meant that she couldn't go out and have a good time on occasion? Meredia tried to be careful about those kinds of things, especially because it was extremely likely that she wouldn't remember them, and usually tried to leave before she fell asleep and her mind kind of... well, reset itself. Meredia complimented the guy who was still standing by her, and was trying her hardest to make him feel better about himself because she could tell that he was a little down about the fact that she had basically forgotten everything she once knew about him, and didn't even have a note to help remind her. At least, not in the notebook she currently had. There had been one – a diary, that she had lost, that she'd kept since about the same time frame he was talking about, but when she lost things, they were usually really lost, as she didn't even have the ability to retrace her own steps.

”I can give you a nickname, huh? Maybe I already did...” Meredia said, teasing him a little bit in a playful way that almost felt like flirting except she just wasn't sure. Normally, she wasn't against flirting with someone that interested her, but she was a little bit leary about starting off that way with this guy... who she now knew to be called Loren, because she didn't know what exactly their past history entailed, and he didn't seem to be completely enthused about telling her. Luckily for him, she wasn't the forceful type. ”How about we trade? You tell me my nickname, I'll tell you yours.” Okay, so this could end up being kind of flirtatious really quickly, because she had taken to calling Loren 'tall, dark, and gorgeous' in her head, but that was okay. Right? She was pretty, he was pretty – maybe they'd hit it off once the awkwardness passed. Speaking of, it seemed like she was going to have to help him out a little, but she didn't mind. People tended to feel pretty comfortable around her because she didn't judge, didn't push, didn't really give people a reason to be down on themselves, and apparently she had been particularly on top of her game the day she met him. He sat down in the seat she gestured to, which told her that he must have been a little more comfortable around her – a good sign, for sure.

Eventually, she got him to start talking about the topic that had been working heavily on her mind since he said that he recognized her from six years ago. Loren even started with a little bit of a song that she knew quite well – one of her favorites. It was firmly in her category of 'songs that I wish I had written,' and she was pleased that he made that reference, even though it was goofy and quirky in an extremely adorable way that made her smile from ear to ear. ”Great song, by the way. Do you sing? Music lover?” Meredia was still trying to make him comfortable, and she really had an ear and a love for music – she was a songwriter, after all. But it seemed that it was finally time to bridge the gap, so she leant Loren her ears and listened to the story, which seemed incredibly sad, but also something that she was happy to have been there, even if she didn't remember it. Although, she got the feeling that he was leaving parts out. Of course, she wasn't going to press that – he'd told her enough for her to get the picture, and her heart broke a little that this guy had been so down and alone. She'd written songs about that feeling, even if she didn't remember them; people went through that kind of thing every day, and even in her loneliest moments, she at least took comfort in the knowledge that she had a strong family unit, a good career, and lived in a beautiful place that gave her plenty of inspiration. Meredia was one of those 'eternally optimistic' types. ”I don't know that I'd call me a saint or anything, but... that's... wow, Loren. I'm... is it bad to say that I'm really happy that I was there for you? Nobody should ever have to feel alone like that, and even though I don't remember it like you do, I can see so many things about you, right now, that are totally worth saving. Or, y'know, talking out of a funk.” Meredia smiled at him again, taking a sip of her coffee and looking at him with kind eyes that were full of gratitude for telling her something that had to be kind of hard. It had to be hard admitting things like that to a stranger, or someone who was mostly a stranger, and yet he had done it. Tall, dark, and gorgeous had obviously been through a lot, and probably had lots of stories to tell. Stories that, strangely enough, Meredia knew she was pretty interested in. Just like he seemed to be interested in her.

”Well, you're already sitting, but you could stay a while. Talk to me. We could... get to know each other again, if you like? I'll take notes this time,” Meredia wanted to ease him into things now that they'd passed that particular road block, and didn't want to be too shameless or forward, even if she was getting lost in those dark eyes a little bit and wanting to flirt up a storm. She took a few notes in her book, then put a bright pink tab on the page, which stood for 'really good meeting.' The best of the best, because if he had been special enough to her once before, she had no doubts that he would be again. ”So, you just got done telling me something – what would you like to know about me? For the most part, I'm kind of an open book.”

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[LOREN ALEXANDER ASTOR]

[style=height: 50px; font-family: 'Sacramento', cursive; font-size:30px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: salmon; text-transform: lowercase; text-align: center; padding-top: 20px;]confess your love your love

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Generally, Loren liked the simplier things. The simple way a piece of music could capture a heart or easily break it. A simple we love each other unconditionally type of relationship. All of it. While complicated events looked great on the back of book covers, Loren didn’t like it in real life. He’d press through with it, but for an emotional unstable person, it was very hard to deal with everything life threw at him. When he looked at Meredia, he seemed to jump in and out of being anxious and being relaxed. On one hand, she might have not remembered, but there was a small couple of hour span history together. Well not together but both present at the same time. Made it seem complicated. The fact she didn’t remember, her fault or not, caused him to be nervous. As if it was suddenly going to come and hit her, and everything would change. On the other hand, she seemed purely… well pure. Genuinely happy. Uplifting. Bright. Beautiful. Not simple as in plain. But simple as in pure. It was easy to practically worship someone who saved his life. It was easy to do with a mix of Loren’s personality and her.

The thought of him having a nickname made him laugh nervously. Oh he wondered what possible things she could have called him. There was no denying that Loren was slightly odd in the eyes of those who thought of themselves as normal. That might have been a good nickname for him. Slightly odd. Very insecure. Though he supposed those weren’t really nicknames. Now he was all curious. Loren did feel a little embarrassed by what he managed to call her all this time. There hadn’t been anything else that fit so well! Honestly, when he created it, he never thought in a million years he would have to tell her of it. Loren also didn’t know that she was being flirty. If he did, he’d go into an instant mess. He generally did it on accident. If he knew he flirted all the time, perhaps he wouldn’t have been so nervous. ”Uh, heh,” Another small nervous chuckle. Come on, stop worrying. Told yourself you’d stop worrying what other people think. Advice he had given himself in the mirror a couple of years ago. If he thought about it before, maybe things would have been different. Don’t think, just do. ”With the circumstances and your uh… pretty… eyes, um, I always nicknamed you angel.” Could she be an angel? In this world, it was highly possible.

Yes, taste in music. Always a quality he admired in others and highly valued, actually. He should have known. Her question was interesting though. Most people who had heard Loren sing knew that he was no such singer. Clearly he was the type of guy who sang in the shower while everyone was still home (and yep you bet he did things like that, though usually not in his parent’s house whenever he visited). ”Ah, music lover. If I had the voice, I would hit the road to be in a singer before you could blink. But um, I’ll leave that to others.” Like the local band in town? He almost went to every gig they had, and met them all a couple of times. The lead singer was so lovely, and her back up! The bassist, the drum, oh all of them. It was such a cool deal. To have a local band. Wait, back on track Loren. Typically when he talked about things he adored, his mind wandered.

Oh, she still had no idea. Zero idea. Loren did want to tell her everything, but he was frightened that it would scare her off. Plus, saying all of it out loud was never something he was good at. It was as if something was pulling at him when he did say it. Knots always tied up in his stomach and he would never be able to look someone straight in the eye. It probably showed that there was still things he wanted to tell but knew the risk of the consequences if he did. Still, he figured she would have to know sometime, or Loren wouldn’t be able to see her much other times. Would she disappear again for six years after this event? At least Loren would have a little more to tell her. Re-explain everything as she re-explained everything to him. God, it must have been so hard. Loren couldn’t even imagine. Sure, there were some memories he wanted to forget forever, but it wasn’t as if she decided which ones to remember and which ones flew away from her memory. At her question, he stared at her and smiled softly, ”No, that’s not bad at all. I’m thankful you were there too… I was on the edge.” Literally on the edge of that cliff. Even now she was beaming with compliments though nothing was wrong at that moment. Yes, she was a saint, no matter what she might have thought.

What did he want to know about her? Well, everything, but he thought he better narrow it down a little bit instead of placing her in the spotlight of ‘tell me your life story- ready set go.’ ”What do you do for a living?” There, that was a simple one. One that might have started and ended with dreams to become something or if she was already on the path of her dream. Or she already grasped it. Full of life and everything she worked hard for. Now that was a story Loren would read. There weren’t enough of the stories of how hard work paid off in the end. Without a million things happening at once. For just a few seconds of that, he forgot her memory problem. So when he remembered again, his heart sunk. It was probably hard to work with that type of thing. Walking in and not remember who your boss was if she worked in an office. Hopefully she was in something that allowed her to be more flexible with that.

meredia/cj • JFIEAJWFPE <33333 • 1019 words

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thanks stark

[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

Even though she was positive that she couldn't remember all the times she'd flirted with people, but she could safely say that this was one of the most awkward flirtations she had experienced. However, Meredia couldn't really say that Loren was flirting with her. Deep down, she kind of hoped he was, but she didn't want to shock him into some sort of stuttering mess, because she really liked him. Sure, he was a little bit socially gun-shy, but in an adorable, endearing way. That was part of the reason why even though the mermaid was a little bit nervous about this entire conversation, especially since he'd talked about a shared history that she didn't remember. Of course, she didn't get the sense that it involved anything bad – at least, not from her involvement, though she sensed there might have been some negative connotation from Loren's part – regardless, it still made her nervous. Meredia was a pretty open person, and even though she had a lot of hang-ups and a lot of issues adapting to normal social interactions, she did like listening to others. She knew that she wasn't wise beyond her years or anything like that, but sometimes a person who was willing to listen or a different perspective was all somebody really needed to get them through a tough situation. For a moment, the mermaid wondered if that wasn't what she had done for Loren six years ago, but she still wanted to hear it from him, whatever 'it' was.

For the moment, the topic of discussion was something light, easy – they were talking about nicknames, and what nicknames they would give each other since the dark-haired man had hinted at giving her a nickname. At least, before – when they met the first time. Sometimes, Meredia really hated that she had a tumor blocking her memories; this guy just didn't seem like the kind of person she'd want to forget – not that she wanted to forget most people – and whatever memories he was holding on to, obviously they were important. Meredia smiled when he said that he'd been referring to her as an 'angel.' The mermaid didn't know if they existed for real or not, but given the fact that she was something other than human herself, she wasn't willing to put it outside the realm of possibility. ”You're so sweet, oh my God.” Meredia laughed, tracing her eyes over his handsome face while he spoke, hoping that the heat behind her gaze would make him feel a little more attractive. Confident. Comfortable. ”I'm not an angel, I promise, but... since you told me mine, you should probably know that I was calling you 'tall, dark, and handsome' in my head before you told me your actual name.” Okay, that was flirting. But could he handle it? To be determined.

When she found out that he had a love for music, Meredia's heart raced a little. Could he get any more perfect? Really. Damn. She smiled and furrowed her eyebrows a little when he said that he'd leave singing to other people. While there were definitely those who were more suited to vocal acrobatics in the musical world than others, Meredia didn't believe in discouraging people from doing something they loved. So long as it didn't hurt anyone else, she was pretty open about giving people freedom to chase their dreams, and wouldn't have felt right about telling someone to stop doing something just because they might not have been the best at it. Having a love for music and living in her mother's shadow had been difficult for Meredia at one point, which was probably part of why she had chosen to pursue songwriting instead of a singing career, but she loved what she did, and wouldn't trade what she'd learned and the success she'd had for anything. Not even a chance at the limelight. ”Don't ever keep yourself from doing things that you love, Loren. Life is too short to hold back... and I'm sure your singing voice is lovely.” A little bit of kindness never hurt.

Especially since they were back to talking about how they met again, and she caught the hint of sadness that followed him talking about her being there for him when he was 'on the edge.' She hoped that didn't mean literally, but decided not to press it. ”I'm sure I was just in the right place at the right time. Maybe I've been lucky enough to be in that place twice, since I'm here with you again.”

Even though he seemed to be getting more comfortable, Meredia didn't want to scare him off by jumping right back into an explosive situation, even if she had more questions that she wanted to ask about how they met and what really happened. For the time being, she'd take the opportunity to get to know Loren – take notes, that kind of thing. He opened with a great question, asking what she did for a living, and Meredia smiled. ”Actually... you mentioned music, so it's kind of funny, but... I'm a songwriter. I write the songs that make the whole world sing,” Meredia said, singing the last few words since they were actually part of a song that she wondered if he knew. It was a little old-fashioned, but he'd sung to her already, so she figured that she could return the favor – also, she wasn't shy of her voice, though sometimes she wondered if she'd have a good voice regardless of her species. She certainly hoped so; singing was one of her favorite things to do, but that was just because she loved music so much. ”Hah, actually – my stuff isn't that big yet. I've worked on a few off-Broadway musicals, helping write the book or the lyrics. I've got a contract with a few bands... some are more obscure, but you've probably heard a few of my songs on the radio. Anyway, that's enough about me.” Meredia leaned across the table a little more, just wanting to be closer to him. ”What do you do for a living, Loren? You don't seem like the kind of guy who does a typical nine-to-five, but maybe I'm wrong.” She liked surprises, and Meredia had a feeling that Loren was going to be full of them.

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[LOREN ALEXANDER ASTOR]

[style=height: 50px; font-family: 'Sacramento', cursive; font-size:30px; letter-spacing: 2px; color: salmon; text-transform: lowercase; text-align: center; padding-top: 20px;]confess your love your love

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There was such thing as being too cute and cheesy, and Loren was afraid he was that and beyond. In his more perky personality, he did have to say that it did consist of a hell lot of cute lines. Braveries that people just didn’t admit about themselves. Though a lot of times, it did make him feel a little uncomfortable, it did give him a sense of accomplishment when all was said and done in the end. Like now. Meeting her, and him fidgeting, not knowing how much she remembered and finding out it wasn’t at all. As much as he did want to have the bravery to tell her, he wasn’t sure if he could make it that far. He was going to try by the end of their meeting, but perhaps they should know a little more about each other first. He really did want her to like him though. After all this time, it would be appreciated to know that the woman who saved him enjoyed his company at least a little bit. The more he said, the less nervous he became.

In fact, giving her the nickname and her responding the way she did made his previously tense shoulders drop. A relief smile spread across his face. Generally, he wasn’t this nervous around people. Just her. At the moment. With the history she did not know they had of each other. Perhaps Loren was exaggerating everything. He tended to dramatize things sometimes. It would only make sense. When she said she wasn’t an angel, he didn’t know if it was a human thinking it was silly or if it was a supernatural really telling him certainly this wasn’t an angel he was talking to. For some reason, that made him feel a little better. Just the thought of embarrassing himself in front of God’s messengers. Not to mention if it were the case, the woman in front of him was a walking immortal. Well, he supposed she still could have been. He didn’t picture as a fallen, but he didn’t know too awful much about them.

A small laugh actually escaped his lips when he heard of his own nickname, as well as his eyebrows perking up. Oh, handsome? Loren didn’t think of himself as a looker, but he supposed he never had thoughts on being ugly either. Out of all of his insecurities, that had been the easiest to get rid of. Physically could always be changed if he really wanted it. It was everything else he had been dealing with. ”Oh? That’s overly kind of you.” A new more charming smile on his face. Is that how most people went on and flirted? Loren felt like he was so bad at this, but he tried to put it behind a wall in the form of the charming smile. ”You can keep that nickname for me. Pretty sure I’m keeping angel in my head despite knowing your name.” Which was true. After years of thinking of her like that, it just made more sense now than ever. Even if she confirmed not actually being a form of an angel. He was curious if she was a supernatural, but that was probably a question for another time.

The way she spoke, it sounded like she was mortal. Life being too short wasn’t the talk of someone who was an immortal. That he knew of, anyway. He was slowing crossing off the possibilities. Eventually maybe he was able to narrow it down to one particular species. Then he wouldn’t have to ask, but who knew how far Loren was going to get? His smarts were only average, after all. No genius that could figure out those complicated puzzles within five minutes. He was the type to Google and see what other smart people thought about it. ”That’s kind of what I was thinking. But I could never go on professionally. I’ll leave my singing audience be friends and the shower head.” Singing in the shower was just the traditional place for most people. It was amazing how one did suddenly get in the singing mood. Of course, Loren was always feeling in that mood as long as he was happy, so perhaps it was just timing.

Yes, timing was everything was society and according to Meredia, the timing of being at the right place at the right time. She had no idea how right she was. Literally at the very last moment like it was some drama soap opera. Except maybe in the soap opera, he would have jumped and people would have grieved over him. Yes, he was glad it didn’t turn that dramatic. Life was much kinder to him now, and there were those friends close to him who he felt worth living for. Sitting here again just felt so different than Loren hysterical and her desperately trying to calm him down and step away from the edge. ”You’re very right. It’s all about timing. Though, I do assure, I’m a lot better now.” Did he already say that? Maybe he did. It had been something he did want to tell her this whole time, and so he was sure having said it twice, it could be even more reassuring, shouldn’t it?

Wait, a songwriter? He was talking to a songwriter? About fifteen songs came in his head at that moment of songs that he loved the lyrics of especially. The voice being very good, and the band in the background being pretty equally as good, but the lyrics making his heart soar. Just listening to them and the clever emotions it typically brought out. Lyrics were the things written all over lockers or phrases placed as tattoos. Loren had wanted one, but trying to find the right lyrics was too hard for him. Plus, he was pretty sure he was going to run and hide from the sight of a needle. You also bet he recognized the tune she phrased it in. Loren didn’t know every single song in the world of course, but his collection was wide and varied. ”That’s incredible! If I were to pick a second career…” Though his lyrics would end up being a mix of all different songs he knew. He liked mixes. ”Sometimes the far-out bands are the best. Just haven’t been discovered yet.” Like the local one in Manuka. He wondered… Then the conversation flipped over at him. Something so awesome as a songwriter seemed miniature compared to what he did. ”I have no official title, but I’m the nature guy. Whenever something goes weird at someone’s place, they call me to see what to do. I go down and take care of it. Like moving bees. I do that a lot.” Not spectacular, but it paid and he enjoyed it.

meredia/cj • JFIEAJWFPE <33333 *dies* • 1135 words

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thanks stark

[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

Most of the time, Meredia tried to be as pragmatic as she could about the cards that had been dealt to her in life, but sometimes she just couldn't help but be bummed about the fact that her memories would always be fluctuating, at best. The reasoning behind this was simple: sometimes, she met extraordinary people, or had fantastic experiences, just like anyone else did, and she wanted to remember them. She could document them, of course, scribble down notes and information about the experience on paper or in her journal, keeping her meticulous little notes, but she didn't have the visual memories. That part of her was frequently wiped clean, like the reset button on an electronic device. She couldn't remember nuances like the way someone smiled, or how their voice sounded when they said something particularly sweet, and the more time she spent around people like Jamie and now Loren, the more she wished she could have more palpable memories than her notes could provide. But she'd never have that, and part of living with her condition and being pragmatic was embracing it, accepting it, and moving on.

The mermaid did her best to try to live as normal of a life as possible because that helped her come to terms with her condition. Even though she was far from it, having a daily routine helped her feel 'normal,' in a sense, and talking to Loren made her feel like just a regular girl. He liked her, probably for some reason that she didn't know that had to do with a memory that she didn't have access to, but he still liked her, and to Meredia, that meant a lot. She'd never really had... well, any relationships that lasted, especially romantic ones, but that wasn't for lack of trying on her part. Despite the tumor, Meredia tried to put herself out there and make friends and other connections – even romantic ones – because she genuinely liked people. She was quite the little social butterfly, despite the high chance of awkwardness when she kept forgetting who her circle of friends actually consisted of, but there had been a few people (people like Jamie, her fellow mermaid) who were really understanding, and even helped her laugh it off when she got to be gloomy about her good buddy Stefano that liked to play games with her head. This thing with Loren was kind of flirty and fun, even though he still seemed to be a bit shy and in his shell, but she thought it was adorable, so the mermaid just kept rolling with the punches. ”I'm pretty sure it's just the right amount of 'kind,' but you're welcome to call me angel if you want. How's a girl supposed to say no to such high praise?” Meredia batted her eyelashes a little bit and gave him a demure little smile, then added with a shrug. ”Besides, I've always kind of had a love/hate relationship with my name. Sometimes I think it's pretty and unique, and other days, it's a pain in the ass and people think my parents were some weird hippies or something.”

As they kept talking, Meredia was having a blast because Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome was actually really funny, and smart – she liked a man that could make her laugh, and an airy little chuckle passed her lips when he talked about singing in the shower. ”Cliche, but definitely cute. Depends on the shower, but some of them get pretty rockin' acoustics.” The shower in her apartment was pretty basic, but it served its purpose, and she was a shower singer, too, even though she knew that the mermaid gene helped her sound good in just about any and every arena. Both a blessing and a curse, she supposed, but there were other equally gifted singers out there that didn't share the aquatic DNA, and that was just the diversity of nature at work. The two of them maneuvered their way over a minor speed bump when she brought up the past 'event' that remained a mystery, and Loren spoke about timing, clarifying that hers must have been very good; better than she realized, but Meredia still remained in the dark. Deciding to drop the subject, she gave a little nod after he said that he was doing better, gave him a warm smile, and continued to sip her coffee before they moved on. When she got interested in something, Meredia knew that she could be somewhat relentless, but she was having such a good time talking to Loren, and he just seemed like such a sweetheart that she didn't want to keep pressing on an issue that would bum him out, even if it did include her and she had tons of questions.

Her songwriting career – that she could talk about, but she wasn't the type to brag, so she kept it brief. Besides, she was more interested in the mystery man, anyway. ”If you're that interested, you could write down your phone number in my book, maybe – I could call you, and maybe invite you over to listen to a few of my sample tracks? It's just me and my piano, so nothing fancy, but since you're such a music lover, I'd really value your opinion.” She had no desire to be a singer, or famous; Meredia really did enjoy being behind the scenes and helping other people find their words, so to speak. She could sing, and really well, but she was happy doing what she loved, and getting paid to not be constantly in the limelight. Other people could take the credit, so long as she got her check in the mail. Speaking of interesting careers, though, Loren's sounded wonderful, and she was right: full of surprises. ”Well, aren't you multi-talented. Music lover, outdoorsman, what's not to like about you, handsome?”

So that was even more flirting, and before she could stop herself, the brunette reached across the table and traced her fingers across the back of his hand ever so lightly, just a brief touch for a minute as her eyes met his and she nibbled her bottom lip, maintaining eye contact when she spoke next. ”Maybe you could take me around sometime, show me exactly what it is that you do. I've been meaning to get more in touch with nature, since I lived in New York City for basically my entire life.” She was reluctant to pull her hand away, even though she had a bit of a strange, intense feeling running through her that seemed to be radiating through his skin. Mixed emotions, nerves, but nothing terribly unpleasant as he kept sending mini shock-waves through her.

”I'm really glad we bumped into each other again,” Meredia said, then wondered if he'd be interested in staying a little longer, since her cup was almost empty. ”I'm sure you've got plans for the day, but if you don't, I just have this paperwork to finish up, and then maybe we could go on a little impromptu adventure? No pressure or anything, just tossing around ideas.” If he said no, she'd be a little disappointed, but she'd understand. As it was, she was just happy to have met him, and was determined to remember him, because this guy was... special, to say the very least.

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