before i hit the ground*[JULIAN]

[cierra]

[style=background-image:url(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll89/doubledsandme/cierraplaid_zpsa2549af7.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:400px; height: 300px;]

something more

desperation before i hit the ground reaching out for something we lost it all before and we still want something more we want it all can make you shake the way that i do can't make you love me the way you're supposed to when you come crawling back for the first time i take you for who you really are if you had a life would you even worry about mine when your bed is empty you're a waste of time this love is made to hate what you are you sold yourself and can't come back you're too far and when you turned around you saw yourself on the ground and for the first time no one cares who you really are

[style=height:215px; padding-right:8px; overflow:auto;]Cierra had been going to the spa for years. Her sister had been very picky about what spa they attended back when they were close. Tiara just had a very luxurious life, and she always demanded the best. Cierra was the type of person that would have settled with less than the best because it was good enough. As long as she left there more relaxed than what she came in, what did it matter if the place smelled like lavender instead of honey silk? Tiara however thought very differently on the matter. Years ago, Cierra had been drug place to place to test all of them out. Don’t get her wrong- she didn’t complain about it one bit. She just wished that her sister would have been happy with one of them. It also was hard when Cierra had a good time, and Tiara didn’t, so they had to leave. She hadn’t really been the one to pipe up and tell Tiara about it either. So when they found this spa, Tiara stopped spa hopping.

Now Cierra and Tiara didn’t talk very much (being a disgrace to the very strict family did that), but that didn’t stop from Cierra going to the place. She knew the owner when the place was first started, and the woman was a delight. A true role model for any woman out there that wanted to make something of herself. Whenever Cierra talked to her, she didn’t get the feeling that she was annoying Kenzie. That was always a plus as Cierra often had that feeling come upon her. It wasn’t really her doing. It just sort of happened. The shapeshifter was rather insecure about most everything just because of the way her life played out little by little. At this point, it was hard to change her mind with it. She just hated it when people were mad or upset with her. The pressure and the guilt that increased within her whenever it happened was enough to make the woman cry. She tried, but her heart cared too much. Someone like Kenzie who liked to talk to her was a relief. Made Cierra feel much better.

As did the services. Lately, Cierra hadn’t had the life stresses she had in the past, but there was no real reason not to go. Her own girls day out. Vi (her best friend) had been very busy with the pregnancy and everything, so Cierra didn’t really want to bug her. Normally, she wasn’t so worried about wanting to bug her or not, but this was pretty serious. She had no idea what was going through her head. Going by herself wasn’t really a change though. It was a day where she didn’t have to worry about someone else’s timing. Making sure that someone else’s needs were met. It was about her. And a very high tip from a woman who not only was satisfied with the work, but wanted to show it with more than words. Cierra’s money roll was starting to decrease, and it was her theory that one day it would stop all together, but she tried not to focus on that. It wasn’t as if she had nothing else to worry about. Even though her stress level was less, it was still there since Cierra tended to worry about everything.

She loved and adored Cason, but he worried her so much. Being a hunter meant life was on the line every day. The less she thought about it, the less worried she became obviously, but it was hard after he hadn’t called for a couple of days. She tried not to be the girlfriend to run around and freak out. The last thing he needed to worry about was… well her. All of this trying to clear her head. That’s why a Spa day felt rather needed. As she finished and placed everything back in place, she looked at herself in the mirror at the front desk. Her hair just done and slightly curly while she put on one of her old plaid shirts she had found at the bottom of her closet. Man, she hadn’t worn it in so long. She forgot how much she loved it. Something she would defiantly wear in her younger years.

Stepping out of the spa, she blinked bright in the sunlight. It was finally spring. Her favorite season. She wasn’t sure what about it that she liked so much. It was just always something that made her feel good. It wasn’t hot, but it wasn’t cold enough for her to want to put eight layers on before stepping outside. Spring just made her feel good. Like she was ready for the world. What she wasn’t ready for, however, was what she set her eyes on next. It took her a minute. Cierra knew that the guy she thought she saw died a while ago. Back when she just got out of high school. Still, the man was an exact replica. A small pain went through her chest as she took a deep breath, clutching her bag close to her chest. Cierra hated losing people. Hated it. Even if it as simple as someone moving away. Death was a little harder on her. She was very emotional, so she ducked her head down as to not make eye contact. Man, he looked exactly like him. It was way too crazy.

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TAG: CJ/Julian! WORDS: 903. NOTES: YAY <333

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Made by LC @ Caution 2.0

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Despite what some people might think, being a ghost wasn't easy. Not only were there the emotional pains that kept a person tied back and sometimes (as was Julian's case) afraid to really get out there and be proud of what he was, there were also the physical roadblocks. After testing himself to the limit, Julian knew that he could stay solid for between four and five (but no longer than five) without disappearing, or, as he liked to joke to himself “turn into a pumpkin.” Once he made it back to the cemetery, it didn't take long for him to get sorted and recharge, and the closer he was to his physical body, the more time and power he had, but there were still so many things holding him back, and he was still learning.

When he was a boy, his parents had both been around to help him harness his firetamer powers. They'd taught him responsibility with them, of course, but they'd also taught him how to use them. Julian could hold fire in his hands, light candles from a distance, and do all sorts of defensive and offensive maneuvers with his birth powers, but he'd had coaching the entire way along with a bit of innate aptitude. Being a ghost was different because it was almost like when his dad had taken his training wheels off of his bike before he was really ready. Julian had tried to balance on the bike as best as he could, but still ended up toppling over and skinning his knees. Of course, he'd always had the personality to “get back on the horse,” except that time, it had been a bike. So, he'd picked himself up, dusted himself off, and tried again. From what he could recall, he had fallen three more times that day before he finally got the hang of it, and went to bed with skinned knees, palms, and general soreness, but all that was outweighed by the sense of pride that he'd really accomplished something.

So far, what he'd learned about being a ghost could fit into the palm of one hand, and he'd still had some rather epic failures. Disappearing right when he got up the courage to actually go talk to someone, accidentally moving things with his mind and putting them in curious places, or misplacing things that belonged to someone completely accidentally, in a way that made them very irritated. Julian knew that ghosts were frequently mischievous, but he just didn't have that same calling. All Julian wanted was to find his new place in the world. It was just taking him a long time to find it.

After eight years, he was finally brave enough to put himself out there again, and now that he was becoming a little more aware of his limitations, he'd ended up in the day spa, to get a massage. Having a body that was temporarily physical was something that took him a while to get used to, in the beginning, but he found that it was even more relaxing that it had been when he was still alive. Some people, especially his buddies at the firehouse, used to pick on him for going to the spa, or taking pleasure in such methods of “winding down,” since most of them would prefer to drink a beer and toss around a football, or play video games for hours on end. Julian enjoyed those activities, too, but also enjoyed being pampered. The massage he'd scheduled was an hour long, but every minute of it had been well worth his money. The money he had was money he'd earned working in other towns. Over eight years, Julian hadn't ever strayed far from Manuka, because he couldn't handle it, but he found that if he left the city limits, he could find people willing to pay him for manual labor or other tasks and he was able to save from there. It wasn't like he had any bills to pay or anything, so everything he made, he kept, and it was good practice for him to prepare for the “real thing,” or showing his face again in Manuka.

Since he'd been getting bolder, he'd actually run into someone he knew... Riley Ellis. Julian couldn't help but swoon together when he thought of the man who had originally been his childhood friend, but turned into his lover by some strange circumstance. The ghost was still waiting to wake up from a dream, but since Riley still talked to him after, and they'd been in frequent contact ever since, Julian was willing to believe he was still awake. And, as far as he knew, ghosts never really slept or dreamed. Part of him wondered if their new connection had been because Riley was lonely, and had to stay away from all the people he loved, just like Julian had done for a long time. The older man tried to think that it was more than that, that they'd had a genuine connection, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. There hadn't been any declarations of feelings... just sex. Good sex, and better than he ever would have expected since it had been their first experience with someone of the same gender, but that didn't make somebody love you.

After Julian's massage was over, he went to the front counter and paid, making sure to tip his masseuse generously before he headed outside, letting the sun's rays hit his skin and warm him in a way that he couldn't feel, but the memory of spring in Manuka was so strong that he couldn't help but feel something. Even the glimmers of memories were comforting sometimes. He didn't have a watch, but since his massage had been right on time (he'd checked the clock before he left), the ghost knew he had three hours, maybe even three and a half to spend in town before he'd have to make his way back to his grave. A figure caught his interest out of the corner of his eye, and he wondered if it'd be another chance introduction like he'd had with Ophelia in the park. Sometimes meeting strangers could be fun when you had very little to lose.

The woman was staring at him, a little bit of disbelief on her face, and that's when Julian realized exactly who she was. Cierra LaBeau, the young girl who may or may not have had an adorable little baby crush on him, and the gorgeous, yet slightly awkward teenager that he'd considered a friend, long ago. She'd grown, and matured, and was even more beautiful now than he could remember. Julian swayed in his spot, wondering if he should approach her, and tell her that it was him... she knew about him being a firetamer before, so she knew that supernaturals existed. Cierra was one herself: a shapeshifter... but ghosts were different, even to people who already knew to expect the unexpected. Julian took a deep breath, and forced himself to be brave. This was just another step, like losing his training wheels.

”Cierra?” Julian asked, a little nervous that maybe he'd made an awful mistake. ”I don't know why you'd have any real reason to remember me... it's been eight years, but... it's Julian.” The ghost said, then paused, feeling more and more like he wanted to just spontaneously disappear before he made an even worse fool of himself. ”Julian Mitchell?”

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OUTFIT:[/color] Here!

[cierra]

[style=background-image:url(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll89/doubledsandme/cierraplaid_zpsa2549af7.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:400px; height: 300px;]

something more

desperation before i hit the ground reaching out for something we lost it all before and we still want something more we want it all can make you shake the way that i do can't make you love me the way you're supposed to when you come crawling back for the first time i take you for who you really are if you had a life would you even worry about mine when your bed is empty you're a waste of time this love is made to hate what you are you sold yourself and can't come back you're too far and when you turned around you saw yourself on the ground and for the first time no one cares who you really are

[style=height:215px; padding-right:8px; overflow:auto;]No one could really blame Cierra for having a love sick puppy crush on Julian all those years ago. She had been an awkward little middle school student (as most middle school kids were so beyond awkward they were in their own category) looking upon an older boy who was not only handsome, but extremely kind. His smile brightened up everyone. He didn’t dismiss her like most other high schoolers did. Instead he would actually talk to her. It always made her flush and giggle. Seemed like such a silly trait now. Then, she had been looking upon what most people looked upon celebrities. Utterly in love but knowing they didn’t have a chance in the world since most of the time they just fangirled. Cierra didn’t ‘fangirl’ per say, but it was close. Her family wouldn’t have approved the firetamer, but she remembered specifically writing in her diary how hot the guy was. How beautifully blue his eyes were even if now she preferred green.

Even past the entire giant girl crush puppy love thing, she liked him as a person. Who wouldn’t? It was hard not to. Cierra generally just liked everyone, but unfortunately, she got on people’s nerves. So whoever was loyal and stuck with her was a friend for life. That’s why Vi getting suddenly distant from her was troubling her. The witch was hiding something. Something beyond her pregnancy. One would think that if Vi could tell Cierra that, anything after would just be other details. It troubled her. Made her worry even more than she was. No-no thinking about that. That was the purpose of the massage. Also, it was hard really to have a reason not to have one. She just needed to go home and sit on the couch for a while watching some of her favorite movies. Pass on by the guy who looked so much like Julian. Try to forget a little bit. Maybe look at old diary entries because she was thinking about it.

Before she had a chance to move on past him to blend in the shadows like she usually did, she was stopped. Cierra looked across at him, seeing that he was literally an exact replica. Now, she didn’t remember anything of a twin he had, so she just blinked at him for a moment. He knew her. Looking at his face, he seemed almost nervous about approaching her. Oddly, that made her feel a little better. Like she wasn’t the only one not fully confident in this situation. Her shoulders eased a bit, putting her dark hair behind her ear to see his face clearly. She tugged on her coat a little tighter at the possibility that was running through her head. He continued to speak, and her chest rose, her eyes widening. Julian didn’t even need to say his last name. She knew exactly what Julian he was. The emotional girl started to have tears in her eyes. She was just an emotional person that cried during extreme emotions. She cried when she was sad, happy, worried, mad (or you know as mad as she could get), scared, disappointed, and any other one that one might have wanted to fit. The tears she had now were purely shock and awe.

”No! Of course I remember you!” She exclaimed excitedly, wrapping her arms around him faster than she could think about what she was doing exactly. Someone she hadn’t seen in years probably might have not been greeted that way, but she couldn’t help but remember the last time she heard that name. It was a funeral. Cierra, being the girl she was and still is, was sobbing hard. Couldn’t even see what of what was going on. Her heart broke as she saw her hero’s face in pictures from family members. All the memories that they would share. Plenty of people were there and loved him as equally. So the fact that she saw this man today was incredibly. Made her swell up. Yet, it also got her thinking a little bit. There was a reason for this, and she assumed it was something among supernatural terms. Obviously they were running around, but this was the first time that Cierra had ever experienced someone coming back after all that time. After the crumbling of death was now the man before her. She should probably let go.

Once she thought that, she shot out, smiling and wiping her eyes slightly, ”Sorry, I’m sorry… I just, I never expected…” She sniffed, feeling that the way she connected words were rather useless and ran in a circle most of the time, ”What…. What happened.” Some of the details she probably didn’t want to know, but she felt like it should have been asked. She didn’t mean about his death. No- she would never ask him such a question unless she felt like she had to. She meant about afterwards. The entire reason he was here. Although she didn’t properly communicate that. Her head was still trying to wrap around this. Cierra was practically shaking with excitement and a new brand new smile came on her face. For one of the first times today, her mind got off of something else. Chatting up with an old friend. Most of the conversation they had in the past were small-talk like this considering the age difference between the two. Although right now, it didn’t’ look like they were much different in age at all.

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TAG: CJ/Julian! WORDS: 914. NOTES: SHES SO EXCITED <3

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Made by LC @ Caution 2.0

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Bumping into someone from his past was bound to happen eventually. Julian knew that when he started to make himself more publicly visible and active in the Manuka community again that somebody was going to see him, and this had been part of his initial motivation because he really wanted to be seen. When he had been alive, Julian thrived on social contact and being part of a group, because he liked having things to do and people to do things with. His circle of friends were lively, active, and he had been incredibly sad when he'd learned that over time, most of them had scattered and moved away. There were still a few people that he knew, but mostly from his adolescent years into his very early adulthood, so contact there was limited. In a way, Julian felt like his death had really split his group of friends apart, because they were all so different that, in a way, he had been the glue that held them all together. The ghost had created social events for them to all meet up, and was always trying to get them to do things as a complete unit. After he'd died, there had been no one there to take over that job, and the rest of them had drifted apart.

After a while, his longing for friendship and camaraderie had been the tipping point in a decision for him to say 'to hell with the consequences' and start making an effort to get his life back. And, if he was being honest to himself, Cierra LaBeau being the first living person to see him and recognize him wasn't the end of the world. She had always been open-minded, and Julian suspected that she wasn't as human as her facade maintained, so he figured that he could trust her. At one point, she had thought the world of him, and he hadn't changed as a person. Really, that was something that Julian knew would always stay the same. He was just the kind of guy who was always loyal and dependable – Old Faithful, and that wasn't an understatement. Friends could always count on him. Employers loved having him around because he'd be the person who would drop everything just to make sure things were done properly. His family could always trust that he'd do what he said and keep his promises. If Cierra had admired him before, and respected who he was, his explaining to her what had happened shouldn't have been something she'd doubt. At least, that's what the ghost was counting on, otherwise things were going to get very awkward.

The hug she gave him felt... well... amazing. Julian tried really hard not to be creepy and breathe in the scent of her just to know what it was like to be so close to another person again. But Cierra was warm, and he could practically feel how much she had missed him, and the sorrow that had once been there over his death. He hated that people who had cared for him had to walk around with holes in their hearts that mourned for him, and might have even continued mourning for him still. Julian never wanted anyone to be unhappy. ”It's good to know that I'm unforgettable,” the ghost joked, trying to make light of what had to be a confusing, emotional situation for the dark-haired young woman before him. She was so beautiful now, and had always been beautiful, but had really... grown up. Julian held her at arm's length, content just to look at her, and couldn't help but smile. ”You look beautiful, Cierra. The years have been really good to you, and it's nice to see you looking so happy.”

Then came the emotions, and Julian couldn't say he was surprised. ”Yeah, I'm sure you'd like some answers,” Julian said. He spotted a nearby bench and pointed to it, hoping that they could sit down and talk about it instead of lingering near the doors of the spa. ”Come sit with me?” Julian walked over to the bench and waited for Cierra to join him, and started speaking when she got closer.

”I'd like to say that I'm not, well, dead, but that funeral you went to was real. Everything that happened was real, and all the hurt it caused you... well, I'm more sad about all the people Matty hurt that weren't me by doing what he did.” Julian said, hoping that he'd chosen a good place to start. ”I've been... around, just not in the living, breathing way.”

Next came the hard part, and he tried to brace himself. Julian looked into Cierra's large, honest eyes that comforted him and gave him strength to carry on with his words and explanation. He owed her this, and if he was going to welcome people back into his life in his new form, he'd have to get used to explaining, and hopefully get better at it.

”Cierra, I'm a ghost,” Julian said, waiting for her reaction to be that he was a crazy person, or an imposter, or slap him or something. Maybe he could just turn invisible and prove it, but there were too many people around for that, and he really didn't want to cause a scene. Hopefully, she'd remain calm and try to be understanding. She would probably have a lot of questions, and he was prepared for those, but mostly just wanted to know how she'd react so they could move on to the next phase.

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[cierra]

[style=background-image:url(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll89/doubledsandme/cierraplaid_zpsa2549af7.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:400px; height: 300px;]

something more

desperation before i hit the ground reaching out for something we lost it all before and we still want something more we want it all can make you shake the way that i do can't make you love me the way you're supposed to when you come crawling back for the first time i take you for who you really are if you had a life would you even worry about mine when your bed is empty you're a waste of time this love is made to hate what you are you sold yourself and can't come back you're too far and when you turned around you saw yourself on the ground and for the first time no one cares who you really are

[style=height:215px; padding-right:8px; overflow:auto;]It must have been her bad luck, but it seemed people often left her. When she found someone from her past, it was an entire celebration for her. Someone came back. Someone recognized her and thought to talk like the old friends they had been. She couldn’t say that she had been ‘abandoned’ too often as opposed to just never seeing the person again. One would think it would bring huge trust issues from Cierra, not wanting to get close to anyone. That would be logical and most others would do something like that. No, she had to be different. She frustrated herself with how easily she trusted people. It got her into so many uncomfortable situations. Some even dangerous (which was one of the reasons Cason was always swooping in and saving the girl, it seemed like). Whenever she met someone knew, she tried to give herself a little talk. Never worked. She had been trying that for years and still it failed each and every time.

To her relief, he didn’t push away from her when she clung onto him like that. Even after seeing her in his condition, he still managed to smile and joke. Cierra smiled back, taking her sleeve and wiping the tear that was coming down her cheek. A burst of emotions were still swarming around in her chest, almost feeling giddy as she looked up at him. It was exactly how she remembered him. Cierra was certain she had changed a lot. The shapeshifter didn’t think she was anything extraordinary. Very average, very regular. Grew up the same way everyone else did. Cierra put time and effort into the way that she looked out in public, but at the moment, everything was slightly smeared after the massage. So she hadn’t really been expecting that type of comment. A flush of red hit her cheeks like she was in junior high all over again except this time- he really was commenting on something blushing worthy. She wondered if she would have looked the same a couple of months ago. A rough patch. Not to where she was exactly unhappy, but no one would be able to label her as happy.

”Aw, thank you Julian. I’m glad to see you haven’t changed a bit.” Honestly, she knew she shouldn’t have made that comment. The only thing she could tell about him so far was that he still had a jokey attitude and looked the exact same as the guy in her memory. So in that short amount of time span, she really wouldn’t have been able to know. Yet, Cierra could feel it. It was probably just her and her little optimist mind going off, but she wanted to blame it on her animal instinct. The other sense that others were aware of. Her obliviousness also sometimes caught up to her. Not knowing when someone had indeed changed. Her mind would always remember the Julian she believed she saw in front of her. Remembering how he was not how he is.

He switched gears and Cierra almost felt bad for asking. Something vanished from his face when he said that. Although it was completely reasonable to want answers from someone you believe to be dead, Cierra still bit her bottom lip. ”Well I …” She started on a complete lie, and it shown all through her face, wanting to say ‘don’t need to know’, but not being able to. Cierra was certain her fatal flaw was her incapability to lie. Some would think that was a good thing. Always kept her honorable. Sometimes it was easier to lie. Cierra didn’t like making others unhappy and was very much a people pleaser. Anyone who heard about her knew that. It would be much easier to say it wasn’t bothering her. Like then. She didn’t’ want to pressure him into anything, but she certainly wanted to know.

Julian found a bench and Cierra followed right behind him like a small puppy, brown eyes eager to know what happened. She gripped onto her own hand as she sat next to him, hearing the beginning of the story. Yes, she knew that much. It was too vivid in her memory for it not to be real. If it weren’t real, Cierra would be very concerned with herself and try to figure out what other memories did her mind just make up. Mentioning how hurt she had been only made her flinch, not really being able to hide anything. Her little wall of emotion was nothing. It hadn’t even been built around her. The living breathing way she had been expecting, but she still found herself leaning on the edge of her seat. Julian looked at her, announcing finally. A ghost.

Cierra knew that ghosts were around, but she had never really met one before. If she had met one, she wouldn’t have known it. Maybe once a long time ago? She wasn’t sure. Nothing of her memory. She blinked at him, reaching out and poking his arm as if she was preparing for it to go right through, but he was solid at the moment. She wasn’t sure of all the rules in that area. Ghosts had never been something that she was taught except they are in existence. ”A… ghost?” She repeated, although she knew the answer so automatically felt like an idiot for saying it. ”I never expected… what’s keeping you here? You seemed to be… happy” At least from what she saw. People were better at hiding things than she was, and Cierra always forgot that. She knew the rules of the ghost life. Something keeping them there and holding them down. Could it be for whatever… She couldn’t even think about it. Her eyes were still pretty watery as her heart tried to slow down from all the excitement.

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TAG: CJ/Julian! WORDS: 974. NOTES: SHES SO EXCITED <3

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Made by LC @ Caution 2.0

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Ever since the fateful event that took his life, Julian had done his best not to change. Before, he had liked himself, which was something he knew very few people could say. Now, he wasn't in love with himself or anything, and certainly knew he had faults, but overall, he knew that he was the type of person that he was proud to be. There were secrets that hurt him to keep, and other flaws that he wished he could work on, but having a good overall score wasn't a terrible thing. Cierra may have blushed at his compliment about how beautiful she'd become, but her compliment about him not having changed really hit him hard. It was just further affirmation that he had been trying to do the right things. The fact that she was happy to see him and not completely freaked out also helped him feel better about his decision to start making himself known in the public eye. Even though he wasn't the kind of guy that drew a lot of attention – really, he just thought he was normal looking, there was always that chance of running into someone from his former life. Just like today: Julian would have never thought he'd run into Cierra. If anything, he would have thought she'd be long gone by now, living somewhere else, accomplishing whatever dreams she had when she was younger. Manuka was great, but it certainly wasn't the kind of place someone made their forever home.

There had been a time when Julian had considered moving, leaving his family behind, and maybe going to a bigger city. After 9/11, firemen were needed in New York City, and that was one of the places that he had always wanted to visit. However, he never got that chance. For a while, he'd considered saving up money, but he didn't know whether or not he'd be able to leave his family and his friends behind for the big city. Especially when Matty was preparing to go off to college, and Julian hadn't given up hope where he was concerned. No, he was always the dutiful son and the loving older brother, and he didn't want his brother to think he wasn't going to try to help him get past whatever demons seemed to hang over his head. That kindness ended up being his downfall, and now Manuka would be his forever home, whether he liked it to not.

”It's hard to change when you're frozen in time,” Julian said, wondering if she had been commenting on his physicality, but decided that she had to mean it in the way he wanted her to mean it. ”But I'm still the same old Jules, too.” Jules had been the nickname that Riley had given him when they were young, and it stuck. Now, since it was the only name Riley would call him, every time he heard it or thought of it, he couldn't help but smile. Hell, every time he thought of Riley, he couldn't help but smile. Even if things were... difficult between them, at the moment. That would pass, though, just like all things did – with time.

Even if things with Riley weren't exactly easy at the moment, Julian had high hopes for his reunion with Cierra. The lovely young woman had always been almost as much as an optimistic ray of sunshine as he had. Granted, now his sunny disposition had faded a little, but he supposed that was standard enough with the bitterness that went along with being dead and a ghost. This was the hard part of the conversation, truly, when Cierra seemed to debate whether or not he owed her any explanation, but he did, so he insisted that they go sit down, gently of course, so he could actually explain what was going on. He didn't know how she would take the information he was going to present to her, but hoped it would be favorable, and that he'd still be the same Julian when all was said and done. ”Yeah, a ghost. More of a Casper myself than some wicked thing, but I guess that's not hard to expect, now is it?” Julian said, trying to stay in a good humor despite the current subject.

For someone that he thought would know very little about ghosts and the supernatural, Cierra asked him a question that he really didn't know the answer to. It was complicated, and maybe he wasn't supposed to know so he couldn't set goals for himself and try to move on that way. Even if he did know, however, Julian wasn't absolutely certain that he would want to move on. ”Actually... that's a good question. I don't know. I thought for a while that it was because of Matty, unfinished business there, but he's in prison. Never coming out, they say,” Julian said, furrowing his brows a little as he thought, because he'd never really gotten the chance to think through it and do much processing on the subject. ”Thought maybe it was 'cause of my parents, too. But they've been gone for years, and I can't leave Manuka, so it can't be that, either.”

Julian supposed that it was a common thought that ghosts were unhappy because of their 'unfinished business,' but that really wasn't the case with him. The most he'd ever been was confused or bitter, maybe even angry, but never really sad or melancholy. There were brief flickers of depression now and again when he got caught in a memory, but he had enough good memories of the ones he loved to satisfy him for many lifetimes, and that was enough to cling to. ”Whatever it is, I'm... I'm happy. I think. I'm as close to happy as a ghost can be, although I do wish I could stay solid for longer periods of time,” Julian said with a small smile. ”Random invisibility sort of becomes a pain.” There were tears waiting to fall in Cierra's eyes, and Julian was doing his best to make her want to smile again, so he decided a change of subject might be in order.

”Happy topics: what in the world is making you happy these days? What are you up to?”

[/justify]

[cierra]

[style=background-image:url(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll89/doubledsandme/cierraplaid_zpsa2549af7.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:400px; height: 300px;]

something more

desperation before i hit the ground reaching out for something we lost it all before and we still want something more we want it all can make you shake the way that i do can't make you love me the way you're supposed to when you come crawling back for the first time i take you for who you really are if you had a life would you even worry about mine when your bed is empty you're a waste of time this love is made to hate what you are you sold yourself and can't come back you're too far and when you turned around you saw yourself on the ground and for the first time no one cares who you really are

[style=height:215px; padding-right:8px; overflow:auto;]It never dawned on her how much she had missed Julian until now. It wasn’t as if she had forgotten about him. Oh no, nothing like that. Just seeing him sitting next to her at that moment brought back old memories. Cierra hadn’t been best friends with him, but she had remembered her blushing shyly away. The shapeshifter sighed. For someone who didn’t label herself as shy, she sure had a lot of shy qualities. Though she supposed she was a different person in her high school years than she was then. She was more mature now, if anyone could believe that, and a little more content with herself than she had been. There was also the difference between what she thought of her family. In high school, she had been scared. She in many ways was still pretty scared person in general. Scared of everything and worried that everything was going to happen to her. Yet, she also knew that trying to pretend she was a strong person was useless. She wasn’t. No amount of pretending was ever going to change or hide that.

Holding her emotions in one place had never ever been her special quality. In fact, she was known for doing the exact opposite. Which had always been a problem. It never took an immortal to know what Cierra was thinking. She knew that it was a trait not welcomed by others. That bothered her. She had been told many times by some of her closer friends, ‘why do you care what other people think?’. After this question, she couldn’t answer because for strange reasons, she always felt ashamed telling them the answer. Cierra wanted to be liked by everyone. She wanted everyone to hold her hand and tell her what an awesome person she was. Not in a spotlight hog kind of way. It was in the way that she would have many friends. No one would be mad at her, and she’d be able to go through her way. Cierra always wanted to make a difference in someone else’s life, but her whole life indicated that she was always going to be second best. It was one of the reasons she was so frightened of losing Cas.

If he wasn’t being sincere, she wouldn’t have been able to tell. Although he looked generally happy, there was also a type of light hearted seriousness in his tone. At least, from what the shapeshifter could detect. If she did know how his true feelings were, the woman would probably make every effort not to have him feel that way. But like many other cases, she was oblivious. Though it had to be hard to be frozen in time like he was suggesting. People’s personalities changed over time. Did they do so when you were a ghost? Did life events still continue to change someone’s personality? If it did, was it over a long period of time? Or was it the same? All these questions, some of which couldn’t be answered by Julian not having enough experience. From what she inferred and what he said, she saw he hadn’t changed. Which made her all the more happy about seeing him again. When he went on, she made a soft giggle, not being able to picture Julian roaming around the halls haunting everyone. ”No, not at all.” She smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes, ”It’s a shame you don’t have your own theme song.” She said with a slight tease. ”You could probably do without the three brothers though.” Did he have brothers? Cierra couldn’t remember.

The question was something that didn’t seem like Julian thought about it. He was thinking about it now. He mentioned Matty, and a shiver ran up her spine. Yes, in jail where the man belonged. Those were harsh terms coming from Cierra. Someone else might have put a few curse words in the middle, but Cierra never cursed. No- she had once, and she automatically felt traumatized by it. It was a moment where she was so stressed that the immortal messing with her head made her snap and yell in the middle of a public place. Oh, that seemed so long ago. Yet, it was only about a year or so ago, wasn’t it? Before Vi disappeared. Right after she found out Vi was pregnant. Cierra missed her bestest best friend in the whole wide world. It killed her to have her gone. Julian mentioned his parents leaving and not being able to leave Manuka. ”Why can’t you leave?” she asked with a soft tone, indicating she was just curious but didn’t want to feel like she was being at all pushy. She would have never acted this way around a stranger. It was only because she knew the man.

He was happy. The thought made her smile. Cierra for obvious reasons liked happy people. People she cared about being happy was practically her goal in life. Her heart soared for him. Visibility did sound like a pain though. Goodness. She knew she wanted to blend with the crowd, but the woman could never imagine actually not being seen at all. ”I’m sure you’ll get the hang of it. You seem to be doing well now.” She mentioned encouragingly, hoping it would somehow help. Cierra’s heart was finally slowing down and her mind was settling to a regular pace. Her excitement was still there, but it wasn’t completely overtaking her where she was more comfortable. Like the Cierra that people came to know. Suddenly, he switched and she was caught off guard. Oh goodness, what hadn’t happened between then and now? Even in the past two years. But he asked what made her happy. Cierra wanted to say ‘Cas’ but sometimes, she felt mentioning him might have appeared like she was trying too hard. ‘look at me this is my boyfriend, isn’t he great? We love each other and its happy and blissful all the time’. While it was that, she didn’t like the way it could have sounded. Cierra was all about making other people happy. Also, there was a matter of making sure it didn’t get too far spread. She already knew that the gossip girl page made them a very popular pair in Manuka, but as long as it stayed in the city, she was fine.

When was the last time they picked up? She remembered dating Derek at the time of his funeral, but it hadn’t been long after that he left her. ”Um… well many things.” Not knowing where to begin on catching up, ”Remember Derek? Well I moved in with him and it didn’t… work out. But that was a while ago. I work at the coffee shop a couple of blocks from here- actually.” Pointing in the direction, ”My own place. There was an… attack a while ago, but things have finally settled down.” While Cierra couldn’t say much was happening in her life, she also wasn’t sure she wanted to go through all the details. She had been attacked. She fell in love. She had her heart broken by her best friend. Positive and negative. Hopefully it would start settling down to a regular pace. Too many emotions.

[/style]

TAG: CJ/Julian! WORDS: 1206. NOTES: <3333333

[/style]

Made by LC @ Caution 2.0

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Cierra seemed to be really understanding about everything, and really happy to see him. Julian felt fortunate that everything wasn't going to keep crumbling around him now that he was trying to go out and actively build a life for himself, and embrace his new... identity. Was being a ghost an identity thing? He wasn't sure – but Julian knew that he wanted to be happy. Happiness was something that he'd been rather close to in life, and even though death was kind of a downer, he didn't want to be one of those angsty, tortured people who walked around feeling sorry for himself all the time. That was part of the reason why he wanted to try so hard to surround himself with truly good people; people like Cierra. The girl had always had a sunny personality, saw the best in everyone, and while some people said that this kind of behavior could get her in trouble someday by leading her to trust the wrong person, Julian always had high hopes that her good nature would give her strength and cause her to prevail over any troubles that came her way. He wasn't a perfect judge of people, of course, but he found that even now, he still had good instincts, and those instincts told him that Cierra was happy. Happy, healthy, maybe even in love. Her smiles were just a little brighter than he remembered, so the ghost made a mental note to ask about that later. It wasn't the kind of thing that someone jumped into right away, especially when they were still on the topic of him dying and becoming a ghost.

It was likely that she had a number of questions about the fact that she was faced with a ghost, and Julian was prepared to answer all of them. However, it didn't surprise him when they fell into a rather easy conversation – she was easy to talk to, and he even found himself laughing and joking about his thoughts of himself as Casper, the friendly ghost. Really, that's what he was. Even though he knew he had every right to be bitter – his only brother had killed him in a massive explosion – he didn't want to be bitter, and he didn't want to hate the world. Julian had never considered himself a victim for any reason, and while he wished he was still alive, wished things were different sometimes, he wanted to take what he'd been given in stride, and it was starting to seem like he could actually have a chance at becoming... kind of normal. Cierra talked to him the same way she always had, even though she knew he was dead and knew what that meant. It brought back some unpleasant memories for both of them, but that didn't get them down. He smiled at the little brunette and laughed a little bit, glad that he still had the capacity for laughter. ”Oh my God, don't make me jealous that I don't have my own theme song! I totally want one now!” Then she mentioned brothers, and his face fell just a little. ”Nah, just the one brother was good enough, apparently. Too much, even.” Julian would never understand what had made Matty so wicked – maybe he wasn't supposed to know, and maybe that was what was keeping him around. He wasn't sure that he wanted to 'move on,' though – he couldn't see any of his old friends if he did.

Julian didn't want to get caught up in unpleasant memories, because he could tell that he and Cierra were both thinking about his brother and the awful thing Matty had done, so he tried to change the subject. It was still a little sad, thinking about the fact that he couldn't leave when everyone else – his parents, mostly – had left Manuka. Cierra asked why he couldn't leave, and Julian gave her the best answer that he could. Really, he didn't understand how everything worked completely, but he knew enough to get by. ”I'm not... old enough as a ghost, I guess, to really stray that far from the cemetery... where my body's buried. The closer I am to it, the longer I can stay solid, but even that doesn't last so long. A few hours. Three is the longest I've pushed it.” She complimented his ability to stay solid, and Julian smiled, thankful that she'd noticed his hard work. And really, it was a lot of hard work. ”Thanks – it's still a bit of a work in progress, but practice makes perfect, yeah?” The ghost tired of talking about himself, though – he wanted to know how she was doing. He wanted to know that she was happy, and maybe he'd get around to asking about the whole 'love' thing if she didn't mention it herself.

The brunette talked about Derek, who he remembered briefly from hanging around Cierra, and smiled that they had still kept in touch. Even moved in together, apparently, but it hadn't worked out. ”Is he any moer confident now than he used to be?” Julian asked, then commented on the living situation. ”I'm sorry it didn't work out – you two are still friends, though?” Yeah, talking to Cierra was definitely easy, and he liked being around her. His guess was right: she was happy. She even used the term 'settled down,' which made him wonder if she was just referring to her own apartment. Julian gasped a little when she mentioned that she had been attacked, because he couldn't possibly think of someone that would want to hurt her. ”Attacked? God, Cierra – are you all right? What happened?” If he could do anything to help her, he knew that he would because that was just the kind of guy he was. As a firefighter, he had been a hero, and he never wanted to see anyone truly good hurting or in pain because someone decided to take advantage. And Cierra was just so sweet and nice... there were some cruel individuals out there, he knew from experience, but it still made him sick to his stomach that something bad could have happened to her, too.

”I'm glad to see that you're happy, though. You look really happy... who's making you so happy, huh? Some guy?” Julian was a bit of a romantic, and while he had never experienced some great love, that didn't mean that he couldn't or wouldn't wish the best for others. Especially someone like Cierra, who really did deserve someone amazing. ”I'm going to have to live vicariously through you, since my love life is really, really non-existent.” He'd never had much in the romance department, but that was okay – he'd always had things to fulfill the gaps that the love he wanted left behind. Now, maybe he'd be able to have a good friend. Maybe that would change a lot of things for him.

[/justify]

[cierra]

[style=background-image:url(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll89/doubledsandme/cierraplaid_zpsa2549af7.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:400px; height: 300px;]

something more

desperation before i hit the ground reaching out for something we lost it all before and we still want something more we want it all can make you shake the way that i do can't make you love me the way you're supposed to when you come crawling back for the first time i take you for who you really are if you had a life would you even worry about mine when your bed is empty you're a waste of time this love is made to hate what you are you sold yourself and can't come back you're too far and when you turned around you saw yourself on the ground and for the first time no one cares who you really are

[style=height:215px; padding-right:8px; overflow:auto;]Every time Cierra made some type of teasing comment with someone she hadn’t to in a while (like Julian), she always felt her heart beat a little faster at nervousness. Soemtimes she just didn’t say things right. It left people in confusion, trying to figure out what she was talking about while trying to be polite. If it ever went to the point where she actually would have to explain the teasing comment, it made them feel stupid and her feel foolish. They weren’t stupid. She knew they weren’t. It was just she couldn’t say things the way others so easily said it. So smooth and not hesitating. Even when she didn’t hesitate, it came in this jumbled mess. Cierra didn’t like to consider herself an awkward person. In fact, in literal terms, she was extremely graceful. Shapeshifter abilities helped along with that. However, sometimes she really could slip up what she meant to say. At worse, she stuttered. Yes, that happened a lot. This seemed so easy, and she was glad that he went along with something like that. Made her feel more confident in what she was saying. More confident was always something she needed. Something she had to gain over years. Little by little.

A small laugh escaped her lips, ”I’ll find you one. My music variety isn’t high, but I’m sure I’ll find you one.” Music was playing all the time at the coffee shop. Mostly, it was something soothing and spiritual (otherwise it would be very hard to enjoy coffee when loud club music was playing through the speakers). Yet that would fit Julian, wouldn’t it? That’s how she remembered him. No matter what hard phase he was going through now, that’s how she was going to see him. She couldn’t say that all the feelings were the same, but the general one that was the base of their small friendship. How long had it been exactly? So much had happened between one and the other that she felt like it was twenty years ago. However, she knew very well she wasn’t six- almost seven- when she last saw him. She wondered if there was a possible way he would be a hybrid. Past firetamer with a now ghost. Yet, it wasn’t something she heard of. Hybrids were a rare breed anyway. If she ever had a family with the love of her life- and she hoped someday she would- she wondered if her kids would end up being half shapeshifter and half human.

The mention of brother’s made his mood not so… happy. Cierra was way too naïve to think Julian’s brother would have done such an awful thing to him. Yet, if she did figure that out, she wouldn’t be overly shocked. Not that she knew much of his brother, but she knew much of her own brother, and knew how cruel they could be even to their own siblings. ”Then your brother and my brother should not meet.” She nodded. Cierra did not have enemies save for one- her brother. Clint. She couldn’t stand him. Probably the only one that was able to get a nastier side out of the woman (though her side wasn’t exactly terrifying or anything- it just was different than her usual self). She envied those who had good relationships with their siblings. Cierra wanted that. With her sister and with her brother. Her brother had always been a lost hope as he went around killing humans. It used to be with her sister, but even that had faded into the background too.

All these things about being a ghost she didn’t know about. She thought she had been pretty worldly on all the supernatural creatures considering her growing tightly with all of them. Ghosts had been one she didn’t think of much. Suddenly, a stroke of guilt struck through her just for thinking that thought. No, they were just as important as the others. Perhaps even more important considering they were tortured souls staying here for a reason. Why hadn’t she thought of that before? Trying to hide her sudden thoughts, she looked over at him and put a half smile on her face, ”You’ll get it quick, I’m sure. If you need to see someone, but uh… can’t travel, I’m always here.” One of Cierra’s positive was being as loyal as the dog she turned into. It didn’t matter what the time of night. Even if it was in the most frightening neighborhood, she’d go. She’d done it before. Sat in a club waiting to meet a friend. The friend never showed, but she’d do it again asked by the same person.

Maybe she should have also mentioned that this boyfriend just left. Without another location. Just a note that explained he wasn’t able to do it. She had cried to him about what was going on with her family, not being able to take it anymore. She left to get something and came back, and he was packed up and gone. It was why she was terrified of crying in front of Cas. Terrified. She refused to do it- which for an emotional shapeshifter that was about in tears when she found out her friend was back from the grave was extremely difficult. ”Uh,” She made a nervous laugh, ”I don’t know where he is now-a-days. He left Manuka, and I stayed here.” Despite the heartbreaking moment for her, it did get her to stay at the place she felt like she somewhat belonged.

Cierra should have expected that reaction. She put her hands up, ”Oh, I’m fine.” So much better than so many unfortunate fates. Flashes came in her mind of the faerie falling to the ground. Another flash came when the werewolf was shot down, stabbed for good measure. The angel unknowing and unsure with broken wings, worried about his charge. She really hoped he made it out okay, ”I got out easy.” A scar on her back wasn’t anything. She’d be dead if she hadn’t been found. Surprise, surprise. One of her biggest flaws- Cierra felt like she couldn’t take care of herself. Not that she was complaining about being saved by a knight in shinning armor, but it was still a shame. Cierra laughed softly when he suggested it. Yes, it was exactly that, and as she was about to mention him- wanting to grasp the opportunity- her mind diverted to what he continued with. She didn’t mean to. If she knew this would bite her later, she would have flat out said something. But what he said next was like a stab to the hopeless romantic’s heart. No, he had to find his happiness. ”But, for now. I mean… new people come in your life…. Or old people?” His age had changed so perhaps his views on those younger than him were different. ”You can’t say that like it’s a final thing. You’ll meet someone.” A smile on her face, trying to be reassuring.

[/style]

TAG: CJ/Julian! WORDS: 1164. NOTES: <3333333

[/style]

Made by LC @ Caution 2.0

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Cierra was just so adorable and endearing in ways that Julian had... well, not completely forgotten, but he'd certainly tried to distance himself from his old life after he became a ghost. Eight years was a long, lonely time, but he thought it was for the best. There were a lot of insecurities that surrounded his new existence, including the fear that he might randomly poof out in a crowd of people, walking downtown or whatever. However, he was diligent and kept working on staying solid for longer periods of time. Julian had always been a calm person, even-keel and in touch with his own body and own sense of self, so it had been fairly easy to learn the rules of how everything worked. Well, not everything, because he still had a lot of questions, but through trial and error, he had mastered a few basic skills that had made him confident enough to get back on the horse, so to speak. Now that he was actually reaching out, however, Julian felt the sting of all he had missed. The ghost hadn't been the kind to lurk around and watch people grow up without him, change and alter until they became complete, adult beings, but he was proud to see that Cierra had stayed... well, somewhat the same. Kind, considerate, honest – she even jokingly offered to help him find his own theme song! How sweet was that? ”I'm sure your music variety is way better than mine – I've been out of the game for eight years. I'm sure I'm considered terribly old-fashioned and uncool now.”

Even though he had seen the world go through a lot of changes, Julian really did try to be pragmatic. It was just one of those things you couldn't stop and couldn't avoid, change. Without stepping up to embrace it, you risked being caught up in the whirlwind and being taken for a rather unexpected ride. The ghost had learned that the hard way when he had originally tried to re-adapt to society and started strolling the streets wearing clothes that were straight out of bad 90's movies, and turned some heads... not in the good way, either. He'd done well with building a little bit of a life for himself; he didn't have anywhere to live, but he created a sort of secret space in one of the mausoleum crypts so he could keep things safe. Even the graveyard caretakers didn't notice it, and he'd been there for eight years now. As far as money was concerned, he had done a bad thing by stealing back the money that he'd saved up during his years of being alive and thusly left to his parents back before they could put it into a bank. They had filed a police report, but he never had to 'break and enter,' just live with his guilt. If only he had stayed dead, they could have kept the money, because he wouldn't need it. Julian had also arranged for a work permit and other paperwork so he could find odd jobs that paid cash – usually things like construction work or being a dock hand for a short period of time, since he only had a short period of time. Since he wasn't that social and didn't spend that much money, he was able to accrue a decent amount, and knew that one day, he might even be able to get a house or an apartment – a place of his own. Unless he figured out what would make him 'move on,' he was bound to the earth for eternity.

Still, even with that knowledge, he hadn't wanted to stay in the shadows forever. Julian had wanted to escape the shadows of his murder and his evil brother, and it seemed that Cierra had some shadows of her own. It made his heart ache that this lovely, sweet girl had known troubles, but he had gotten used to the idea that bad things frequently happened to good people. He didn't like to think about the fact that she'd gone through any hardships, especially when she was so kind to basically offer to help him out with things that he just couldn't physically accomplish anymore, such as traveling out of town. ”I know some ghosts do the whole, uh, mentor thing, but I've just kinda gone it alone,” Julian said with a little shrug. ”I'm still figuring it all out, but um... guess I don't have to be completely alone anymore, huh? Y'know, if you wanted to keep a lonely ghost company when you've got the time.” Now that they were closer in age – kind of, since he'd basically stopped aging physically – they might be able to have a more solid friendship than they would have eight years ago, when she was so much younger than him. One day, Cierra would actually pass him in physical age, which was an extremely funny thought, but Julian was a loyal person, too, and knew that when he had a friend that he really trusted, he'd have them for life. Even if now it was the duration of their life, not his own.

After that moment passed, Julian wanted to play catch-up, learn all about the parts of his friend's life that he had missed. There was a sorrow and a sadness in her eyes and he almost hated that he'd asked about her old friend, Derek, but apparently, they had parted ways. The ghost certainly understood that; most of his old friends were gone from Manuka, too. A few important ones had stayed around, sometimes more as a negative than a positive, but at least now he had Cierra back. Sort of. Julian nodded gently, understanding this and not wanting to press the subject any further, especially when she went on to tell him about a particularly dark blemish in her past that made him almost shake with anger at the thought of anyone harming such a wonderful, kind being. That kind of thing just made him sick because Cierra... she wouldn't harm a fly, at least from what he knew of her. From her reaction to his little outburst, he smiled a little. ”Yeah... looks like you and I both are determined to stay optimistic even when bad shit happens to us, huh? Maybe we should stick together, watch out for each other. Make sure nobody else can hurt us...”

Julian didn't know why Cierra wouldn't have other people looking out for her – not that she needed to be completely dependent on someone or anything. The more he looked at her, the more he felt a strange feeling in his chest that almost felt like... no, not a chance. Desire? God, Cierra was just so beautiful, and he hated to think of her lonely like he had been lonely for basically his entire life, except for his friends. The ghost had never known romantic love or happiness, which was why he asked about her love life, even suggested that he live vicariously through it, but she skirted around the subject, giving him a small piece of hope that maybe someone was out there for him. For a moment, he thought of Riley and how wrong that had all gotten, and decided maybe running into your past wasn't always a good thing, and maybe he was just better off alone. ”Haven't met many new people yet, and old people? Well... there was one other, but that didn't turn out so well, and now there's you, which is what I'd rather focus on, if it doesn't bother you.”

The ghost reached out and touched her hand, tempted to lace his fingers with hers. The skin-on-skin contact thing was something that really, really messed with his head, and it was just so nice. ”So... you don't have anything for me to live vicariously through?” He licked his lips a little, bringing his electric blue eyes to hers and scooting a little closer. God, he was tempted to kiss her, and it seemed like a really, really stupid idea, but sometimes he was allowed to be selfish, right? And unless she stopped him... or said something to make him think he stood a chance, he might just get the guts to go through with it.

[/justify]

[cierra]

[style=background-image:url(http://i286.photobucket.com/albums/ll89/doubledsandme/cierraplaid_zpsa2549af7.jpg); background-repeat:no-repeat; width:400px; height: 300px;]

something more

desperation before i hit the ground reaching out for something we lost it all before and we still want something more we want it all can make you shake the way that i do can't make you love me the way you're supposed to when you come crawling back for the first time i take you for who you really are if you had a life would you even worry about mine when your bed is empty you're a waste of time this love is made to hate what you are you sold yourself and can't come back you're too far and when you turned around you saw yourself on the ground and for the first time no one cares who you really are

[style=height:215px; padding-right:8px; overflow:auto;]Only with Julian would she find herself in a conversation about music, even if it wasn’t a very large one. Though if she would have known that she would have been talking to Julian when she woke up, she would have thought she was crazy. People came back from the dead all the time, but she never thought it would happen to someone like her. Out of all the people that popped in and out of her life, it never occurred to her that the one who died was the few to come back. Cierra and people and long lasting relationships didn’t work. It broke her heart each and every time. It wasn’t very hard to mess with Cierra anyway, but when people did it, rather on purpose or not, she was always confused. She fell for the same thing every single time. One would think she’d close up. Not let anyone close in. No. She was the opposite. She still let everyone in just as full heartedly, and the same thing continued to happen. Maybe one day, she’d learn.

She let out a light laugh, shaking her head as if she were insisting upon it, ”No, you could never be out of style or uncool! If you are, then I don’t want to be a part of this new cool… group.” She said, crossing her arms and sitting up straighter, but end up bursting out of giggles again. Maybe this is exactly what she needed. An old friend. Someone that clearly made her laugh, smile, and made her feel happier. Though Cierra was generally very happy, especially recently, even if half of the time was also spent worrying. The shapeshifter should honestly be used to that by now. Know that Cason had been hunting for years before her, and knew exactly what he was doing. Still, she had also grown up with one of the largest and most cruel of shapeshifting families. She knew exactly what they did to humans, especially hunters. No, out of her head, out of her head. She’d start showing signs. Cierra just needed to focus on the old friend in front of her. Her delighted wonderful old friend.

Alone. He said that word, and for some reason, it hurt. Although she actually wasn’t a brave social person, she liked to have at least one person around. Just one. A good one would be fine. She had Vi for all these years in Manuka, but now that she was gone, she guess she only had a couple. But that’s all she needed, right? Hopefully, she would be able to add Julian to that list. Especially since he was talking about staying solid for extra long periods of time. It wouldn’t suck to have someone when she was out in the forest by herself as a husky. Could she communicate that way? Most of the time, she just found Cason hunting and stayed at his side (without the hunter knowing it was a shapeshifter at his side and not just a regular dog). He even got her a collar so she wouldn’t be taken to a pound if caught in town. So sweet.

Shaking her head, she still had a smile on her face, ”Oh anytime!” The thought of him being lonely again was breaking poor Cierra’s heart. Anyone being lonely, but Julian? ”I mean, if I’m working, you can still visit me there. It’s nice to have some company.” She was very proud of herself for getting two of her friends jobs there. It was like she had connections. Though connections at a small coffeehouse wasn’t exactly something large and exciting. In her small world, it was. Speaking of, Julian continued on talking about the both of them. Someone who knew better would have seen these signs. Started talking about something that would have set him off. However, Cierra really didn’t think that way. As far as she was concerned, no one really saw her that way- even before Cason. When he told her he loved her, it had been so shocking, she almost felt like passing out. There were so many signs, but she hadn’t seen any of them. Just as she wasn’t seeing any of Julian’s.

His blue eyes forced Cierra to look at him. As if they had some sort of magical lock power. ”Looking out for each other? Oh, it’s hard to say no to. I’m afraid I uh…” Biting her bottom lip, ”Still trust as easily as anything. I’m sure you’ll make tons of friends though.” Perking up, not liking the conversation suddenly on her insecurities, and there were many, ”You’re one of the nicest guys I’ve known. Social. Friendly. How could you not meet a ton of people?” She asked, titling her head as if she were expecting an answer. At least, for her, nice people were always her drawing point. That could have been her own personality though. Nice people liked nice people. Which sounded like it would be good for Julian.

Me? Interesting. She’d rather focus on him and he’d rather focus on her. Was it really that he hadn’t changed? Then Cierra had clearly changed, as she hadn’t remembered so many things in common with him. He did seem like a lot stronger of a person. But compared to Cierra, just about everyone was. ”Ha, well, my interesting rating is…” Unable to answer, she looked down at her hand, only now realizing that his hand was interlocked with hers. As if he needed the support- which was all Cierra saw it as. She gave him a reassuring smile, noticing those blue eyes were unexplainably closer. At his phrase, she focused on it. Well… what do you mean?” The girl too distracted to notice the most obvious of moves.

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TAG: CJ/Julian! WORDS: 962. NOTES: AH JULIAN <3333

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Made by LC @ Caution 2.0

[JULIAN SILAS MITCHELL]

Julian was continuously surprised at the effect he'd apparently left on the world – or, at least, the people left behind – after he died. When he was alive, he was a fairly popular guy. Not popular like those mean girls in high school that everybody liked only because they feared them or anything, but genuinely well-liked. Or, at least, that was how Julian saw it. The former firetamer did his best to be a good role model, a good example, and make something of himself so others would want to look up to him, come to him for advice, talk to him when they felt like everyone else wouldn't listen – he wanted to be an example of how people should behave simply by being kind to others. Whether it was his influence or not – and Julian certainly didn't think it was, since he had only been in Cierra's life for a relatively short period of time – he was ecstatic to see that the young woman had really become a good, kind individual. Even the simple compliment that she gave him hit Julian right where it counted and made him smile from ear-to-ear. ”You're too nice, Cierra. But not in a bad way or anything! Just... I expect to be a little 'uncool.' The world's changed in eight years, you know.”

The giggles that she released were adorable, and made him laugh right along with her. Wow, it had been a long time since he had felt... happy. Like he belonged somewhere, and old friends and reconnecting usually ended up being a positive outlet to find your way out of sorrows – that was exactly what Julian needed. Of course, this little meeting had been as unexpected for him as it likely had been for Cierra, but now that they had found each other again, they were obviously making the most of it. The ghost knew that he'd have to make time to see her again, maybe even at her workplace if he dared. Julian hadn't exactly held a social job before, but he understood that for people who worked in a service industry, like she did in the coffee shop, you had to be more attentive to your customers and couldn't just have some guy chatting you up at the counter all day. So he'd visit her, sure, but Julian knew that he'd be respectful about it, and hoped that she'd enjoy his company just as much outside of this chance meeting. ”As long as I'm good company and not a bother who interferes with your work, I'm happy to take you up on that offer.”

The fact that Cierra was so kind, and such a gentle soul made Julian want to protect her. The ghost knew that there had likely been a few things happening in her past that were dangerous or negative – she had hinted at a few of them – and while he knew that he wasn't exactly some force to be reckoned with, he had never been afraid of much, and would definitely throw himself in the way to help someone who needed it. Ghosts could 'move on' or be eliminated, but other than through very specific means, he was basically tethered to the earth and didn't have to worry about being harmed. But Cierra... the thought made him shiver, and that was part of why he offered for them to look out for each other, mostly so she wouldn't feel like he was telling her that she was weak or something. Obviously, to survive life at all even on a day-to-day basis, one had to possess a certain amount of strength, and even the gentle souls had that inner spine that guided them and helped them through hardships. Julian hoped that Cierra had other people in her life who were looking after her, too, but if not, he was happy to volunteer. ”You can trust me... I know a lot of people might tell you that and lie, but me... I don't like lying to people. And I have no intentions to hurt you. I don't want anything to hurt you, ever.” Yeah, maybe that was a little too honest, but he was an honest kind of guy, and what could it hurt to let her know that she had a real friend? Or a real friend back as the case sort of was.

Julian laughed again when she talked about him meeting lots of people and being social. ”Yeah, I guess I used to be, but it's a little more difficult now. Hard to open a conversation with 'I'm a really nice guy, if you can look past that whole dead thing...' don't you think? Maybe people wouldn't care... I don't know.” Ghosts weren't supposed to be real, and Julian knew that humans were still as frequently oblivious as they used to be when he was alive and a firetamer, hiding other secrets from the 'normal' eye. And even though he knew there were other supers, he didn't know how to spot them. That'd be something he'd have to learn, definitely. ”I guess I could just hide that, though... I was used to that before.”

From there, he started to feel a different sort of connection to Cierra, and kept waiting for some kind of sign that she was spoken for, that she was off-limits to him in more than a friendly sort of way. Julian wanted her to mention a boyfriend, girlfriend (he didn't judge), or somebody in her life that would keep him from kissing her, because it had been so long since he'd felt gentle intimacy, and it was too tempting. ”Romance... like... someone to do this.” If she wasn't going to tell him, he was going to stop fishing, and with that, Julian leaned in and gently placed his lips to hers – it was a soft, sweet kiss. Nothing demanding, but enough to let her know that he was interested, if she was...

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