guilty regret // jury, finally

[FLETCHER MYLES ELLIS]

fletcher hadn't been able to sleep well lately. he didn't know why, but he couldn't stop thinking of a kid that he'd seen being bullied a while ago. the poor boy, fletcher had just wanted to jump in and burn the bullies. but he couldn't do that; that would expose him and his family to the humans, and even more hunters would be after them. even with a few of his family members dead, they were still relatively unaffected by hunters. they left them along, for the most part.

he wished he'd done something. oh, he wished he'd been able to somehow protect the kid - devin - from being bullied so much, protected him from death. but of course, fletcher had constantly been thinking of excuses. he was late to class. his friends were waiting for him. it would be too obvious. someone else would help him. if only i hadn't made excuses . . . maybe he wouldn't have jumped.

the firetamer hadn't even realized he was crying until he rubbed his nose. he shook his head and wiped away the tears, not wanting anyone to see. who was even there to see, anyway? it was the middle of the night, nearly one a.m. no one was out right now, not even the homeless. everyone had gone home. fletcher just wandered around the town, his black jacket and skinny jeans allowing him to sneak around better than he normally would have.

he continued to wander aimlessly, wondering what he should do. ugh, he just couldn't get his mind off that boy. he felt so terrible for not doing anything, for letting the suicide happen. fletcher knew he should have told his parents; they would have known what to do. he felt like such an idiot. didn't they have all that anti - bully stuff going around? the firetamer sighed, ashamed.

the male kicked a rock as he found himself being drawn towards the train yard. fletcher figured that no one would be there at this time of night, so why not? yawning, he skipped along the nearest tracks, the beanie on his head keeping his hair from flying everywhere. he had only been there for a little while - thinking he was alone - when he heard a sound. he raised an eyebrow and tried to sneak over to where the sound was coming from. when he saw the source, his breath hitched. oh my gosh . . . his emotions overloading, fletcher collapsed on the ground. he kind of hoped the other would hear him.


well that was terrible sorry D;

[DEVIN LYSANDER HALLOWAY]

[/style][style=width:370px; height: 10px; font-family: Open Sans Condensed, sans-serif; font-size:14px; color: #f4f4f4; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center; background-color: #1c1c1c; padding: 15px; ]I'M UNDER THOSE SAME STARS

Devin's concentration was wavering, and though he didn't get tired per say, he knew that his energy levels were reaching a low point. And this was frustrating, because he just wanted to get this whole visibility thing right. He needed to in order to find out what he can do to move on from earth. He has a prophet girl helping him, but he needs to be able to stay solid for longer than a minute at a time. Which is why all the practice, and it's not going well as well as eating away at his energy levels. Devin had never accounted for this; that jumping out of his third storey window would not completely bring him to his death. This made him angry, because going anywhere other than earth would be better.

He genuinely did not know how he deserved to be still stuck here, with the smug faces of those people who had taken such pleasure in causing him pain, in people saying that he was too young to die, that he had so much to offer, when all of them had treated him like less than this. This anger made him narrow his eyes as he focused on the transparent to human eye from of his arm, willing to get his arm solid, gritting his teeth because anger was never the way to get something done. He did not want to become a poltergeist like soul. Devin just wanted to weep., because he did not want to be a ghost. But no, he had done enough crying. Nothing and no one would make him feel like that again. He was a ghost, he was powerful now, or will be anyway. He felt it.

It was dark, but that didn't matter much to Devin because his night vision was consederably better than what it had been when he was human, and it helped that the moonlight lit up the train yard beautifully. His now dull green eyes looked around the place, taking notice of all the stones and scraps of rusted metal reflecting the white light. It was normally for him to calm himself. Whenever he had angry thoughts, he would look around, notice the small pretty or beautiful things, and then he would feel better. It wasn't like he could take deep breaths, because well; he couldn't breathe so that would be completely pointless. With a soft sigh, he licked his lips and was focused once more on the task at hand.

He thought about what he would do once he mastered being solid. Probably spend hours figuring out what is keeping him there, see Lenore. Maybe pay some of the people from school a visit. Hell, they would deserve it. Because Devin just felt like he was not the helpless boy he had been at school any more. No, he was freed from the curse of being bullied because everyone thought he was dead. Therefore, showing them he was alive would be good pay-back, no? A small wicked smile rested on Devin's feaures. It has been more and more common to think malicious thoughts ... think about the fact that so many people watched him get beaten up, humiliated, laughed at and not one single person had said a kind word to him.

The next thing he knew, he could feel his form solid, and he smiled in triumph. This was far from perfect, but it was better than before. The sound of footsteps made his head flick to the side wuickly, the solid form flickering a little. His eyes rested on a boy he recognised, but didn't know the name of. But then those same eyes went wide when the boy collapsed. What the hell? Devin was on his feet instantly, because he didn't know who the boy was, and Devin was a kind person despite what he may think, and he was by the boy instantly. Not thinking about the fact that he was supposed to be dead. He used his now solid frame to shake the boys shoulder, as he looked around for any help he could call; no luck.

"Hey, hey! Are you alright? Wake up!" He frowned, as he shook the males shoulder, his features sheathed in moonlight. Compared to him Devin would have looked paler than anything; he was a ghost after all, but he also knew that his ghost form basically glowed in the dark, therefore the boy would be better able to see Devin than he would have if he was human. With a small sigh, he sat by the boy cross legged, because there was nowhere that he could take him, and he didn't have a phone to call anyone. All he could do, was wait for the boy to come around. He looked around for a moment, before once more concentrating.

thanks

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[FLETCHER MYLES ELLIS]

the sight of devin had just been too much for the firetamer. just as he had been feeling guilty about not helping the boy - he showed up! fletcher hadn't even gotten the chance to process it before he had collapsed onto the ground, his mind going blank. somehow, the shock of seeing this boy - one he had seen dead, had gone to the funeral - in front of him had shocked him, quite literally. the male's heart literally stopped beating for a few seconds, causing him to fall.

of course, his heart started up right after he fell, but his brain hadn't exactly been ready to be woken up from the momentary break from blood. fletcher faintly felt someone shaking him, hearing a voice far in the distance talking to him. his brows furrowed as he tried to wake up again. his brain, eventually realizing that it was safe and had its blood supply back, finally decided to let him regain consciousness.

slowly, fletcher opened his eyes, blinking a few times. at first, he couldn't remember where he was and why he was on the floor. he managed to groggily get himself into a sitting position, rubbing his head. " what the . . . ? " he mumbled. fletcher looked up to see what was going on, seeing devin once again, his form obvious in the darkness around them. he paled a bit - though he wasn't nearly as pale as devin was, holy hell - and remembered what he saw.

fletcher opened his mouth to try and talk to him but nothing came out. he took this moment of speechlessness to try and think about what the hell was even going on. devin had died, right? yes. he had been to the funeral, listened to the family talk about how his body had looked. they had buried him, right? he couldn't remember. in any case, devin had died. that only meant one thing . . . he was a ghost now. fletcher frowned at that realization.

" i . . . you're devin, right? devin, uh, halloway? " he asked hesitantly, kind of hoping he was wrong. fletcher didn't like the thought that he might have been able to prevent a suicide by being nice to a kid, and what made it worse was that said kid had ended up as a ghost. fletcher nervously rubbed the back of his neck, wondering how he should even start apologizing. would devin even accept an apology? what if he would just be angry? well, that was a risk fletcher was going to take.

he took a deep breath. " listen, i'm so, so, so, so, sooo sorry for what happened to you . . . the bullying, the . . . well, dying, " he said awkwardly. fletcher really did feel terrible for what had happened to the boy. if he had been able to, he would have burned all of the people who bullied devin. unfortunately, there were laws that said murder was a big no - no. fletcher got the urge to hug devin but held it back; was the other boy even able to be touched now?

wqehrweruiwq

[DEVIN LYSANDER HALLOWAY]

[/style][style=width:370px; height: 10px; font-family: Open Sans Condensed, sans-serif; font-size:14px; color: #f4f4f4; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center; background-color: #1c1c1c; padding: 15px; ]I'M UNDER THOSE SAME STARS

After a short while, Devin felt the boy stirring and focused his attention on him. He seemed so out of it, it could almost be humorous, if Devin wasn't worried for his health. Who collapsed just like that? The boy was sitting up, and all Devin could do was sit right next to him, and wait for him to say something. He watched as the boy opened and closed his mouth a few times, and his look was expectant but guarded, since the ghost didn't trust anyone to be easy going around them. Running a hand over his face, Devin noticed that the guy had regained his ability to speak, and quirked his eyebrows up in a surprised motion that the guy actually knew his name. Yes, he had seen him around school, but he himself could not recall the guys name.

Devin nodded, as his eyes didn't stray away from the figure on the ground, and he found his voice. "Umm ... yeah." He offered a weary smile, and ran a hand through his hair, making it stick up before it fell down again over his forehead. "I'm not sure I know who you are though?" This wasn't arrogance speaking. Devin had kept to himself a lot at school, and there were so many kids, and none of them really spoke to him, so he never found a reason to learn names. Except the ones of his bullies, of course, but that was different. He didn't not know people's names because he thought he was superior, but more because Devin never had the chance, or the need.

However, Devin's eyes flashed as the guy spoke of what happened to him, and he was on his feet in an instant, his form flickering into oblivion for a few seconds from the loss of control, and he was gone. But he concentrated to get himself to be solid again, not caring that he might freak the guy out, because well ... what right did he have to bring it up? Both the bullying and the dying. The smile that Devin gave him was sceptical and almost malicious, because he felt guarded. What if the guy was only saying that to pick on him some more? Devin didn't know if he was sorry at all actually.

Running his hands down his shirt, he gave the boy a dark look. "Sure ... you're sorry now when it's too late." Devin sounded accusing, but it wasn't the boys fault. He was not the only one in the shadows as Devin got beaten up, spat upon, thrown down the fucking stairs, and now that Devin is a ghost, the guy feels the need to apologise? Yeah, right. As if he'll believe that bullshit. "I don't think you even know what you're apologising for." Devin said tightly, never having been one to speak a lot, but being a ghost has taught him to throw away some morals, and he was not afraid anymore to say what he thinks and feels.

Devin didn't particularly care anymore that the guy had fainted at the sight of him. A humourless laugh escaped his lips, because this situation was just so absurd. Now, now everyone feels sorry for him. That he had to go as far as to end his own life to end his suffering, where were the people when he needed them? Their cold, coward hearts would rather allow him to be pushed around thanhelp him, so he doesn't need their remorse now. Devin is stronger, he can look after himself, he'll figure out what he needs to do to move on, and be glad to be gone from this earth that has caused him nothing but pain, and where he was all alone on the surface of billions of people.

"What do you want?" He asked the guy, because he really didn't want anymore condolences. His gaze was sharp and cold, as he waited for the guy to say something.

thanks

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[FLETCHER MYLES ELLIS]

fletcher was a little surprised that devin didn't know his name. even though fletcher tried to talk to everyone in the school - though he'd been scared to with devin, admittedly - most people knew him. his name was still relatively well - known in the human world (mostly due to the fact that his family was ridiculously huge and rich) so his name was at least roaming around the school. then again, he couldn't really remember devin ever talking to anyone that wasn't bullying him . . . he internally frowned. i should have done something . . .

" i'm . . . fletcher. fletcher ellis, " he couldn't help but think of himself as james bond for a moment - dammit, he should have said his last name first - but he didn't make a joke out of it. fletcher saw the male stand and scrambled to stand. he opened his mouth to speak - looking straight forward again - but devin wasn't there anymore. he made a slight movement - he was about to turn around - when devin reappeared. fletcher smiled uneasily at devin's odd smile; it quickly faded, however, when devin's expression turned dark. fletcher tensed slightly, scared of what devin could and might do.

the male frowned - a sad frown, not in the least was it angry - at devin's words. fletcher thought for a moment to try and figure out what he could say that would make devin feel a little better. even if he couldn't manage to do that - which he figured was impossible to do, the kid was dead, after all - he could at least get devin to listen to him, right? the firetamer really hoped so. " devin, i . . . i know what i'm apologizing for. i'm sorry for not doing anything . . . for not standing up for you or . . . or for being a decent person. " his voice broke a little at the end. with any luck, that would show devin his sincerity.

and then devin laugh - could it even be called that? - fletcher let out a soft sigh. he wanted to just hug the boy but . . . was that even possible? fletcher barely knew anything about ghosts; the only thing he really knew was that they were dead and had telekinesis. he didn't know how the rules went regarding touching and whatnot. could fletcher touch the boy right now? or would his hand go straight through him? he didn't want to even try. what would happen if his hand went through the boy!? he was sure that would just make everything a higher level of awkward.

the other male's sharp gaze would have scared fletcher if the firetamer hadn't faced this type of situation before. with a determined huff, fletcher tried to meet devin with a brave yet friendly expression. he had no idea if it worked or not. " what i want? i want to help you . . . ! i can . . . help you get revenge, or something . . . or just be here for you, " his voice softened at the end. he had been reluctant at first to offer helping with revenge - it would hurt fletcher to hurt someone - but it would be just, right? the kids devin would want hurt were bullies - he hoped - and not innocent people.

fletcher broke the stare to look down at his hands. he flexed them, tempted to show devin what he could do, how he could help. it could be an explanation as to why he never helped, too. it would have been worse if fletcher protected devin and ended up searing a bully; the ellis's would have probably tried to "get rid" of devin right away. would that have been so bad? it would have put him out of his misery, stopped him from that horrible, horrible video . . . or maybe i could have protected him. " trust me, i . . . i can help you. and i want to. " he looked back up to loo devin in the eyes. he was determined to help this ghost. after all, nothing got to fletcher's conscious faster than knowing he could have helped and failing to do anything.

d'awww

[DEVIN LYSANDER HALLOWAY]

[/style][style=width:370px; height: 10px; font-family: Open Sans Condensed, sans-serif; font-size:14px; color: #f4f4f4; text-transform: uppercase; text-align: center; background-color: #1c1c1c; padding: 15px; ]I'M UNDER THOSE SAME STARS

Fletcher Ellis. Devin rolled that around in his mind for a few moments, trying to recall if he'd heard that name when people were whispering. He was sure that Fletcher was not in any of his classes, otherwise he would have recognised his name in a moment, and he wasn't that clueless. However, all the ghost could do was nod in acknowledgement of the words, keeping his lips pursed together tightly as he wasn't really sure of what to say. Nice to meet you? Yeah ... that could do. He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, and eyed the boy. "Uhh ... nice to meet you, Fletcher." He spoke quietly, his eyes holding a little concern as he eyed the boy. "Are you okay ... I - I'm sorry if I made you faint." Some people simply get freaked out after seeing a ghost, especially of someone they might have seen around and now knew to be dead. He felt the obligation to say sorry, even though that had not been something that Devin could help.

However, the ghost was also getting frustrated at himself. Because he was such a new ghost, it meant that he couldn’t control being solid that well, his whole frame would flicker in and out of vision, and he was certain that you could see right through him too. It was crazy, to think that someone could be nothing other than air at some points, with people walking right through you. That made an unamused thought flick into his mind, which was pretty much that he was invisible while alive, and he’s still invisible when dead. Devin couldn’t really look at the boy when he started speaking. He knew it was impossible to forget what had happened, but he kind of wished that he wouldn’t be reminded by this boy who was a complete stranger to him. He wanted to go around in a numb state and forget that he had hurt so badly, that he had lost the will to wake up each morning because he knew that nothing would have changed. He knew he could have fought back to the bullies, but the emotional exhaustion, as well as being completely alone in the world made the boy lost his will to fight. He wasn’t sure that Fletcher would understand that, which made the boys words so angry.

Devin looked down at his hands, at his translucent fingers, where he could see the grass through. He swallowed before looking back at Fletcher. “I went to my funeral.” Devin spoke quietly, before he averted his gaze to the moonlight illuminating the space where they both were. “And as expected everyone was saying how loved I was.” Devin smiled sadly, he knew he felt his own lip quiver, but he couldn’t cry. He was a ghost, he didn’t have any tears. Breathing out slowly, he ran a hand through his hair, light as wisps. “That it was so sad that I would do such a thing.” He cast his eyes back onto the boy, wide and innocent. “The people who spoke, they were saying ‘I wish he’d said something, we could have done something.’” His voice was barely above a whisper as his chest tightened, knowing that it wasn’t Fletcher’s fault, none of this was, but Devin didn’t need his pity. “But it wasn’t like no one saw what was going on. Ignorance is bliss, huh?” Devin shrugged, a soft sound of laughter escaping his lips, not amused in the least. He was so sad, and so tired and all he had wanted to do was not be on earth anymore, but it seemed like that couldn’t be the case. “So what I mean is, feeling sorry now is a little bit too late and completely pointless.” He told him, his stormy gaze on the boy.

Devin listened to the boy speak and still didn’t look at him. Revenge. Devin merely shook his head. There could be many people he could and should get revenge on. Of course, namely the bullies, but if it was just school, then it would have been easier to live. He could have begged his mum to move states at least. But it was his family too. So cold, and distant. His mum on constant alcohol, and his Auntie Eileen in a different city. He would have willingly have gone to live with her, but she was old. She could barely take care of herself. She was there for his funeral though, which was more than he could say for his mother. That made a sudden surge of anger flare in his chest at his mother. “Revenge on who? Toby?” Devin looked at Fletcher finally. “And what are you planning on doing? I’m just a ghost you never gave a damn about, and I don’t need your pity.” Devin was usually quiet, but he felt like he couldn’t hold his tongue. Even if the boy meant well, Devin was feeling too stubborn, too hurt to let him do anything now.

thanks

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[SEAJAY]

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