kill your heroes [meredia]

[BEATRICE HAYLEE ASTOR]

i met an old man dying on a train

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no more destination, no more pain

Rough weeks were now a common thing for the faerie. Her life was now a current spiral of drinks, partying, and sex. Once upon a time, she would not have allowed herself to succumb to such a point in her depression. She would have tossed it aside and continued running through life with relentless vigour, on the search for constant adventure. Everyone had loved her bold and brazen personality, and she had always been counted on to bring a bit of entertainment in the lives of others. Now, with barely any friends and pretty much estranged from her family most of the time, Beatrice truly was a former shell of herself, seeing no other purpose in life. The young brunette was indeed lonely, seeing how she barely conversed with anyone these days, and the only time she ever really talked was to try bringing someone home into her bed. Her most recent conversation was with a certain intriguing redhead, and as much as Beatrice didn't want to admit it, Lea had been constantly on her mind after that.

The Astor really had no idea what had possessed her to visit the park of all places today. Perhaps it had been the sight of the lush green grass, or the way the sunlight had streamed through the trees. Either way, it had been enough for the faerie to start moving her legs in that direction. She felt like a moth drawn to the light, scared but curious as to what would happen if she decided to take a step into the golden. Her legs felt robotic, reluctant as they moved towards the grass, as though she was about to kill herself by walking through lava. Beatrice's brown eyes blinked at the glare of the sun. It felt like a long time since she had been out in the open, since most of her days were spent sleeping and recovering from hangovers, and most of her nights drinking her sorrows away at Lea's bar. Although she was indeed nursing a hangover at the moment, she had decided to wander outside the mansion that she called home for just a little while. Change was good apparently.

The seemingly normal sight of people spending time around the park felt to Beatrice nostalgia. It had been a long time indeed, since she had seen and did something that was considered 'normal' in the human world. The young woman felt herself tremble, her hands balling up into fists. Time had never stopped for her ever since the abortion, life had carried on regardless of her past. It was only her that still had one foot stuck behind, and as much as the melancholic faerie tried to recover, she still felt it dragging down on her. The world was moving on without her, leaving her and the ghosts that haunted her behind. Shaking her head in an attempt to clear such depressing thoughts, Beatrice wandered into the park, her eyes doleful, wondering what she should do.

She plonked herself down on the first bench she saw and leaned back against it, closing her tired eyes. Her head pounded from yesterday night's alcohol, and she groaned out loud. Beatrice hadn't noticed the young woman sitting next to her, and she looked up, startled at the new voice. "Go away," was the unhappy woman's automatic response, not having heard whatever the other brunette had said. Damn the bloody headache. "Or stay, whatever, do what you want." she added hurriedly. What, it was a public place, she wasn't about to order anyone around, although she could if she wanted to.

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[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

Ever since the sun had started shining on a semi-regular basis and the days were getting hotter, Meredia did her best to spend as much of every day as she could out in the sunshine. She had noticed that she was starting to get freckles on her shoulders and a light bronze color on her skin, and she was quite happy about that. Although she did wish that she could go swimming more often – usually, her parents would plan some sort of family trip to Neath De'Ar, the island that mermaids tended to travel to where they could be safe and alone with their same kind. Its close proximity to Manuka was part of the appeal for Meredia, because it meant that there were others just like her either nearby or in the city. She had even met one, Jamie, who was really fun and smart – they had a lot of things in common, actually, including their musical talents (obviously, they were mermaids) and the whole songwriting thing. Meredia was a little nervous about her ability to make friends because of her damn tumor, but so far, that wasn't proving to be a problem here at all. And, even though she missed her summer vacations to the little island with her parents, she was having a really good time being out on her own, and really loved Manuka.

Other than Jamie, Meredia had also found a friendship in Loren, this gorgeous man who she hoped would eventually become more than just a friendship, although their 'history' might be a little much to overcome without some serious groundwork being laid down. They had met before, six years prior, and she had talked him off a ledge or something... Loren had said that she saved his life, and as much as she wanted to believe that it was just a metaphorical kind of saying, like she had been there for him in a really, really bad moment and helped him overcome, she couldn't shake the feeling that it was a little more literal. The idea that someone like him, who seemed to be so wonderful, would want to end it all was heartbreaking, and only reaffirmed that whatever mindset she had been in when she had come across him had been right. Loren was definitely worth saving, and she hoped to get to know him a lot better, if he wanted to keep someone around who reminded him of a darker time... if not, she'd do her best to understand.

Meredia was ready to see what the new day had in store for her, and she walked with a slow sort of lazy gait, notebook for songwriting and her planning for remembering things tucked under her arm as she made it through the park, straying from the path for a moment to wander through the grass before she caught sight of a bench off in the distance. It had the perfect mix of sun and shade, and was a central enough location that she could see lots of the goings-on in the general vicinity. So, she approached the bench, sat down on one end, and took out a song she had been working on... she had started it right after her meeting with Loren, and already it was coming along nicely. However, before she could even jot a single note, she was surprised by a graceful (but sudden) movement next to her and looked over to see a small, brunette female looking grumpy and in a foul mood next to her. Her eyes closed, and Meredia wanted to talk to her, but before she could say anything, she was told to vacate the area that she had claimed first. Well, that was unnecessarily rude. ”I don't mind the company, but I was technically here first.”

That New Yorker attitude only came out sometimes, but if this woman was going to be a bitch to her for no reason, she wasn't just going to sit down and take it. ”Really? Now you're cool with me staying?” Her tone was sharp for a moment before she softened it with a little sigh. ”I'm sorry... that was harsh. Um, you're welcome to sit here. Actually, I have some tea and some aspirin in my purse, I think... you look like you might need it. Want some?” The girl looked hungover, and Meredia was just a nice person, even if they hadn't exactly gotten off to the best start.

OUTFIT:

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NOTES: Why is she such a nice person??? Hope you like it, bby! <33333333[/blockquote][/justify]

[BEATRICE HAYLEE ASTOR]

i met an old man dying on a train

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no more destination, no more pain

It wasn't in Bee's true nature to be a complete bitch to everybody she came across, but a combination of a nasty hangover and a melancholic personality had her in a snippy state that snapped at anyone that so much as moved in her presence. It helped her overcome her insecurities and unhappiness a little, a display of anger and nonchalance. It was easy to say that she hadn't been always like this, but even Beatrice's former bold disposition had her saying cutting things. The thing was, the fae hadn't been an intentional nasty twat back then, unlike now. Beatrice was still surprised at what she had become, and did try to take back her words to lessen the damage she had caused. The impact was never going to change, but at least the little brunette woman was trying. Trying and wishing so hard that she could find her feet again. She was making no change however at this time by taking out her grumpiness on others though.

Right, she was here first. Beatrice had plenty of retorts for that, but the pain in her head was too murderous for her to really start becoming a huge bitch. And plus, the other woman had a point; she couldn't deny that. A thin smile quirked her lips and she nodded, clearly in no mood to fight back. She wasn't about to start apologizing though, Bee was a bit too proud for that. "Right, right. yeah." she added in a tone that was close to apologetic. That was as close to saying sorry that she would allow herself to get with a complete stranger. On the topic of strangers, the brunette took a moment to check out the other woman she nearly had a tongue lashing with. The other female was indeed attractive, sweet looking even. Oh, Bee wouldn't mind tapping that indeed, but it seemed so out of the question now.

She didn't take the additional bait, but she had a hard time keeping her mouth shut then and bombarding the woman with angry retorts. Calm yourself Beatrice, she chastised herself. It was yesterday's twenty rounds of tequila. Blaming it on the alcohol again as usual, but she didn't have an option. She felt as though she had already caused enough trouble in the past five minutes, and wasn't exactly looking forward to starting anymore today. Well, maybe not intentionally, since her motormouth had a tendency to land her in it anyway. "Don't worry about it," muttered the cranky fae, knowing full well that she should be the one apologizing, since after all, she had barged in first.

The sudden gesture and offer of kindness sent the faerie in alert and she gazed at the woman in surprise. Even after that initial bout of rudeness and spat, here the lovely female was, offering her tea and aspirin for her hangover. Just how nice can this woman possibly get? It was astounding for Beatrice, and it was indeed the last thing that she expected. "Yeah sure, if you got 'em." said the brunette, her tone softening. "If you don't mind that is. I really am hungover. I guess I should apologize too." Beatrice felt like she had to at that last nugget, it only seemed right for such a nice gesture. And she rarely apologized for shit.

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[MEREDIA AUDREY ROTH]

She wasn't always the greatest judge of character, because she really tried hard to make friends due to some of her social... shortcomings. However, Meredia still wasn't a complete doormat. She was a people pleaser, sure, and she liked to be friendly and social so she wouldn't miss out on legitimately good connections, but she wasn't the type of person to allow herself to be mistreated, either. Ever since her diagnosis, her parents had worked really hard to teach her about 'healthy relationships' so she could go out and make friends without feeling like she had something to prove just because of her tumor. And, even though she wasn't necessarily looking to make any sort of connection during her journey to the park for a bit of a songwriting, one just happened to fall into her lap. Not completely literally, but almost. The grumpy female had landed right next to the cheerful mermaid on the bench, and then had been completely rude, so Meredia told her off – in her own way. The mermaid knew that she couldn't be completely mean to people, that just wasn't her style, but she could be blunt and assertive, and she definitely let the woman know that she wasn't a pushover.

But then, she had also apologized. Especially because the woman seemed to be not only in a foul mood, but probably suffering from some sort of hangover. Meredia had been drunk a few times in her life, although she didn't make it a habit or anything. Mostly, from what her notes told her, she was a social drinker, and usually tried her best not to let things get overboard, since she already had a hard enough time remembering things in the morning. And that couldn't be blamed on the alcohol. A brain tumor was, generally speaking, a more acceptable reason to forget things, but Meredia really didn't like forgetting anything, as much as she could help, so she wasn't about to compromise her hard work for a night of booze and partying. This woman, however, seemed to have plenty of both in her last twenty-four hours or so. At least, as far as Meredia could tell. After the mermaid apologized for her rudeness, the other brunette seemed to shrug it off in an accepting way that was kind of surprising. Meredia was half expecting to have her head bitten off, and kind of felt like an asshole because of the woman's tepid response. ”I'll try not to worry about it, then. I just don't like being rude where I can help it, and I shouldn't have snapped at you. Even if you probably did deserve it.” Meredia gave her a friendly, sweet smile to let her know that she wasn't trying to beat a dead horse or anything – both of them seemed to be over their initial confrontation, and the mermaid even offered her some of the hot tea in her Thermos and some aspirin from her purse, which the other woman accepted.

”I wouldn't offer you something I didn't have,” Meredia teased a little bit, and then pulled two of the white pills out of her purse, then uncapped the Thermos and handed it over. ”The tea's a little on the sweet side, so I hope that's okay. I drink my coffee black, but like my tea sweeter... weird, I know. Hopefully it'll help.” Then, her suspicions were confirmed, and she chuckled. ”I kind of figured you had a rough night... was it at least fun? It's been a long time since I've actually let myself get out there and socialize.” That was because of the tumor, of course, but she wasn't going to let a complete stranger know that about her just yet. She wasn't ashamed of it or anything, and wouldn't hide it, but it wasn't just something you dropped into random conversation, and she kind of didn't want to be a buzz kill. She'd rather live through someone else's life for a minute, somebody social... if the woman was willing to share.

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