nothing to grasp [ALLYALLYALLY!]

[NATALIE MARIE HAWTHORNE]

I think that life's too short for this

I want back my ignorance and bliss

TAG: ALLYALLYALLY WITH MAL OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: AH!

Oh. Oh my. Natalie didn’t mean to get this drunk. Based on her history, it sounded like a lie. Nat wasn’t one who really exhibited any self-control. The word wasn’t even in her vocabulary. She drank until she physically couldn’t anymore and then normally found someone to go home with. On the off chance she couldn’t find anyone, then she’d attempt to call either a friend or taxi to take her back. That was typical Fridays and Saturdays for the girl. Was she making great choices? No. But she was enjoying herself. Why not have fun while she was still young and she could?

Despite all that, she really didn’t want to be this drunk tonight. She had met Holden a few weeks ago after a typical night for Natalie and she was pretty sure she had never felt so embarrassed. And even though they weren’t dating, Natalie thought they might eventually (at least she definitely hoped they would) and she really wanted to look like a better person than she was. Like him. Holden was such a great guy and Natalie wanted to be the type of girl he deserved. That meant not getting drunk off her ass and going home with the first guy that smiled at her. But it didn’t mean she couldn’t go enjoy herself a little bit, right? Just a drink, a little dancing, and then she’d go home.

Unfortunately, Nat had over estimated her ability to stick to her one drink rule. She had started off okay. The girl got her one drink in and then decided she’d spend the rest of the night dancing. As long as she stayed away from the bar, she wouldn’t be tempted to drink more. And she had absolutely no plans to go home with anyone so there was no need to flirt or anything. She just wanted to dance and not worry about anything and that was that. Just enjoy herself. It worked out too, for the most part, until some guy offered to buy her a drink. Nat, not one to be rude, decided that one more drink wouldn’t hurt.

But one drink turned into another and before Nat knew it, she was a mess. She didn’t doubt for one second that this had been the guy’s intention and on a normal night, Natalie would’ve had little problem obliging. Not today though. She might not have been able to stick with the first part of her plan, but she sure as hell was going to stick to the rest of it. Natalie thanked the guy for the drinks but figured she should get out of there before she did something she completely regretted. She still had the right mindset to do at least that.

The problem was Natalie didn’t have a ride home. Nat had though walking home wouldn’t be too much of an issue, but that was when she thought she’d only have one drink in her system. She didn’t have a backup plan for incase she drank more than she had thought she would and she couldn’t rely on some random guy to drive her home. The worst part was Natalie had misplaced her cell phone a couple days so she couldn’t call anyone to pick her up and even if she could’ve gotten her hands on someone else’s phone, she couldn’t remember anyone’s number to call. So walking it was.

If Natalie kept telling herself it wasn’t too much of an issue, then she’d believe it. It had been awhile since she had tried to walk anywhere while this drunk, but she thought she could do it. There was a lot of staggering and resting against walls breaks, but she was doing pretty okay. At least, she was okay until she wandered into a dark alley that she couldn’t really remember walking into in the first place and she started to think she heard noises that she really didn’t want to hear. Nat’s heart started to pound like crazy but she kept telling herself not to worry. It was just an alley. She was overthinking and she’d be home soon enough. She just needed to stay confident and it’d all work out fine.

Next thing Natalie knew, there was a shadowy figure in front of her. She barely got the chance to scream before she felt a strong hand clasp itself over her mouth and another hand grabbed her arm in an iron grip. Oh god. No matter how much Natalie struggled, she couldn’t get away. On a good day, she wasn’t very physically strong. At all. And the alcohol wasn’t helping at all. She had no idea what was going on but she knew it wasn’t good and that she wasn’t going to get out of it.

I think I've had enough of this

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[MALCOLM NOEL HAWTHORNE]

the only thing that matters

Malcolm sat silently in the club as he watched the scene around him. The club wasn’t really his primary choice in where he wanted to spend his time, but he knew that it was a popular place for people who were more similar to his sister, who frequented this place a lot more than he thought she should. But he wasn’t one to tell anyone, especially not his little sister, of what to do. She was capable of making her own decisions and taking care of herself for the most part. The only reason he was really here tonight was because he had had this funny feeling that something bad was going to happen tonight. He only wanted to be sure that it was just a feeling and that nothing actually happened to the girl. Because if something had happened to her and he could have prevented it, Malcolm would blame himself for it for all eternity. Since he didn’t want that guilt resting on his shoulders, he decided giving up a night of solitude to watch over Natalie was well worth it.

So far it was the standard: drinking and dancing, nothing too awful or raunchy from the people around him. Malcolm was invisible to all eyes but ghosts. He was glad to be invisible right now because it meant he could do as he pleased without having to worry about someone seeing him and talking to him which would thus distract him from his duty tonight. As far as he could tell no one here was a ghost, so he was really alone. Malcolm didn’t mind being alone at times though. He thought that being a ghost sort of came along with it and he was oddly okay with that. Actually he was happy to be a ghost because the alternative would have been to be a guardian, demon, or to not come back at all, which would have really sucked because then no one would be able to protect his sister from all the bad of the world.

The night was coming to and end, he noted, and followed his sister out of the club. He stayed behind her a ways to be on the safe side. Malcolm sighed silently as she turned down the alleyways where things were bound to go wrong. He saw the man grab Natalie before he could do anything about it and jumped towards her. His sister struggled for a few seconds before Malcolm reached them, made himself solid, and ripped the man away from her. Malcolm threw the man at the opposite wall and made himself invisible once again. He was knocked out cold, now slumped on a pile of garbage.

Malcolm turned to see his sister. A part of him wished he could show himself to her. He had contemplated showing her that he was still around a few times like he had when he first passed, but she had convinced herself that he was just an illusion and Malcolm couldn’t take it anymore. He had finally just disappeared from her site altogether after a year of her saying it was just her imagination. Malcolm wanted badly to just show her now and tell her that it was all real. But something stopped him. If he made himself known tonight, the entire supernatural world would open up to her. Did he really want to make her vulnerable to all of that? Did he really want to expose her to everything he had been trying so hard to save her from after all these years?

He hadn’t noticed how hard he was biting down on his lip before he unclenched his jaw. There was the risk of revealing the supernatural world to her now, but if he didn’t now, would he ever? And if he never did, would he ever get to talk to his sister again? There was no way of knowing. The thought of never having another conversation with Natalie had haunted him since the day he killed himself. It killed him to think that he would never be able to laugh with her or hug her and have her actually hug him back.

Maybe she was ready, maybe she wasn’t. But Malcolm was ready to finally have his sister back once and for all. So he slowly made himself solid in front of her saying, “Don’t be afraid, Scout. It’s me.”

<3

[NATALIE MARIE HAWTHORNE]

I think that life's too short for this

I want back my ignorance and bliss

TAG: ALLYALLYALLY WITH MAL OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: HOLY SIBLINGS!

This was the type of thing that you were warned about. Don’t become drunk without a designated driver (or walker, in Natalie’s case). Don’t walk home by yourself. At night. And cut through allies. You should always travel in a group. Don’t pretend you’re invincible or that nothing can happen to you. Things always can and will. Don’t make any stupid decisions or you might not live to regret it. All that shit that Natalie really should’ve paid attention to but never did. She always got stuck on the “don’t think that something bad can’t happen to you” bit, since she really had gotten away with a lot of things that she really shouldn’t have. Honestly, with the amount of strangers Nat had gone home with, it was surprising her body wasn’t dumped in some ditch outside of town. And with the death of her brother so many years ago, you’d think she would’ve had a pretty big taste of reality by now.

None of it seemed to stop the girl, though. It was only a matter of time until everything caught up with Nat and it seemed tonight was the night. As much as she tried to struggle out of the man’s grasp, it didn’t loosen a bit. If anything, it had only grown tighter. Natalie knew no tricks to break free, how to use her captor against himself like you were always taught in self-defense. Nat had gone to enough classes that you’d think something would’ve stuck. But she had never really paid attention to any of them, seeing as how she had never really thought she’d run into a time where they were especially needed. And the little bit that Natalie had remembered left her head the instant she was grabbed. In fact everything had. Her mind was just blank.

Next thing Nat knew, the situation was changing entirely. She was completely sure she was going to die, and then she thought she saw someone that looked like her dead brother. It was only for a split second though, so short that Natalie knew she had imagined it. Didn’t explain how she had been ripped from the man’s grasp, but she had been somehow because he was suddenly on one side of the alley while Nat was leaning against the wall of the other. Well, leaning was being kind of generous, considering the wall was practically the only thing that was holding her up while her mind tried to catch up with whatever had just happened. She was too damn drunk for any of this.

Trying to process this information, Nat slid down the wall until she was sitting, practically curled against the wall. She needed to get out of there while the guy was passed out. She knew that. But the girl couldn’t even begin to tell herself to move. It was like she had entirely forgotten how to function. And it wasn’t long until Natalie found herself shaking uncontrollably while what had finally happened started to set in. The final straw was Natalie thinking she saw her brother again and hearing the nickname “Scout” in his voice. The shock was enough to cause her to pass out.

---------------------------------

The next morning, Natalie woke with the worst sort of hangover. It was strange, since she couldn’t remember drinking at all last night or even leaving her apartment, really. But she had to have been, because what else would explain the headache and sick to her stomach feel? Though normally when Nat woke up with this awful of a hangover, she was in someone else’s bed. For once, it was her own bed and she decided to take comfort in that thought, snuggling down further into her comforters even if it was almost two o’clock in the afternoon. What did it matter? It wasn’t like she had any responsibilities today. At least, they weren’t important ones or she was pretty sure she would remember them.

The girl could’ve almost gone back to sleep. She was certainly tired enough and didn’t feel well in the least sense of the word. Some extra rest probably would’ve done her well too. But Nat was getting the strangest whiff of pancakes floating through her apartment and she thought she should investigate. Even on her best days, Natalie could barely cook. And was pretty sure no one had come home with her last night, even though Natalie could barely remember any of it. Typically, she never had one night stands here. They were always at the guy’s place. So who else could it be?

Nat slipped out of bed, glancing down to realize she was in a large t-shirt while she waited for the world to stop spinning around her. Well, strange. She wasn’t aware her drunk self knew how to dress. Shrugging, Natalie slowly made her way towards the bathroom, afraid if she moved too quickly, she would regret it instantly. She really just wanted a quick peek in the mirror to make sure she didn’t look like the creature from the black lagoon or anything, just in case there was a guy here. Her make up was a mess, seeing as how sleeping in it wasn’t really the greatest idea, and her hair was an absolute rat’s nest. The girl thought about fixing it for about .2 seconds before she realized it would’ve been too much effort and she really was getting curious about where the smell of pancakes was coming from.

In the same slow manner, Natalie walked down the hall that connected the living room. From there, she could peek into the kitchen. But she had to still be dreaming or something because what she was seeing was impossible. Malcolm was not standing in her kitchen making pancakes. It couldn’t be happening. He had died over a decade ago and Natalie was certain of that fact. The loss of her brother had been hard on the entire Hawthorne family, but especially for an eleven year old Natalie. Malcolm was her best friend, despite the age difference, and for the longest time after his death, she had had hallucinations of him. They couldn’t be starting again, could they? “Mal?” Natalie called in the tiniest voice possible, still unsure of herself. She really didn’t know what to hope for at this point.

I think I've had enough of this

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.

[MALCOLM NOEL HAWTHORNE]

the only thing that matters

Malcolm watched his sister as she slept. He couldn’t help but wonder what it was like to sleep anymore. He hadn’t slept in over ten years and he could barely remember what it was like to dream. He sometimes wished he could go back to being a human so that he could feel sleep again. Of course he had to rest to recharge himself, but he was awake the whole time. But Malcolm didn’t ever regret what he did. It had kept his sister safe and that was all that mattered to him. She was the world to him and if he had to do it all over again he wouldn’t change anything. She was alive and well and for the most part she stayed out of trouble.

Malcolm was so glad Natalie hadn’t turned into some kind of rebel when she hit her teenage years. He was happy to see that, for the most part, she stayed true to herself and never let anyone tell her that what she believed was wrong. He was so proud of his little sister and how she touched people’s lives. Malcolm could already see how Natalie was changing that bookstore owner guy and they had barely known each other. Malcolm doubted that Arthur knew how Natalie was getting under his skin, but he could see it just by looking at him. He didn’t scowl at her as much or tell her that her book selection was a waste of time and money.

Malcolm walked out of her bedroom, shutting the door quietly behind him. He hadn’t expected her to pass out, but it made the journey home a lot easier with her in his arms and not freaking out about he was alive. He’d much rather have that discussion in private and not in the middle of an alleyway. So her passing out was a blessing in disguise he supposed. Malcolm took a glass from the cabinet and got himself some water. He went transparent so that he could rest himself up for tomorrow when he would need to be solid for Natalie. He wondered what she was going to do when she saw him again in the morning.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It was almost 10:30 when he decided that it was time to make breakfast. He didn’t want to sit around anymore, which he had literally been doing all night. He put on a pot of coffee and took out some eggs from the refrigerator. Malcolm got some bread and shoved it into the toaster when he cracked a few eggs on the side of the frying pan. He remembered the way she liked her eggs and made them specifically for her. Malcolm didn’t like eggs unless it was in a salad of some kind. So he put the egg carton back in the fridge and when the eggs were done, the toast popped out of the toaster nicely browned. He took the butter out and buttered the toast. He put it all on a plate and just as he was about to get her a cup of coffee, she peeked around the corner and said his name.

Malcolm reached into her cupboard and looked over at her with a small smile. “Hey,” he said back, trying to act as if all of this were completely normal. He poured her a cup of coffee and set it beside the plate of food he’d made for her. “I, uh, made you breakfast. Figured you wouldn’t really be feeling like eating, but you should eat something to get rid of that hangover quicker.” He took down another cup and poured for it himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had a good cup of coffee. He didn’t usually eat or drink unless he was with Lea, but they usually weren’t together to eat.

<3

[NATALIE MARIE HAWTHORNE]

I think that life's too short for this

I want back my ignorance and bliss

TAG: ALLYALLYALLY WITH MAL OUTFIT: HERE ONE LAST THING: HOLY SIBLINGS!

Natalie still couldn’t believe the scene in front of her. Hell, half of her still thought this was a dream and she’d wake up in a few hours to realize how silly she was being. But some part of Natalie, somewhere deep in her core, knew that she was still awake and what she was seeing right now was real. Her dead brother standing in the kitchen wasn’t a mirage. It was comforting and scary at the same time and she wasn’t quite sure if she should scream and cry or run to him. She missed Mal half to death, but he was also dead and in Natalie’s experience, dead things were supposed to stay in that state. She felt like she was going to puke, from both the stress of the indecision and because of her hangover.

Eventually though, Nat’s love for her brother won over anything else, regardless of the strangeness of the situation. She missed him more than anyone, really. He had been her best friend growing up, despite the age difference. And Natalie figured it helped that Malcolm was acting as if everything was normal. She’d be freaking out even more if he tried to handle it in any other way, to be honest. Of course Natalie would want an explanation eventually, but right now she just needed to get over the weirdness and let her brain process the fact that Mal was standing right in front of her. He always knew just what to do to make Nat feel relaxed.

Not really able to contain her excitement, the girl immediately perked up. “Mal!” she said again, this time with much more enthusiasm. Natalie walked quickly to her brother, throwing her arms around him in a tight hug. He still smelled like Mal, still felt like himself. At least, from what Natalie could remember, that was. And he was still much, much taller than Natalie herself. She must’ve not grown too much between the time she last hugged Mal because he still towered over her. Granted, most people did when you were only 5’ 3”, but Malcolm always felt like a giant next to her. It probably had to do with the fact that he was her older brother and that Nat would always look up to him. That always made Mal seem like a giant to Natalie, regardless of the fact that she was so short.

The girl leaned back so she could see Malcolm’s face better, but didn’t break the hug. There was this irrational fear in the back of her brain that said if she let him go, he’d disappear and Natalie would be left alone in the middle of her kitchen thinking she was crazy. Nat wouldn’t be able to deal with that, having the sudden joy of seeing her brother in front of her again only to have it ripped away just as quick. It’d be far too much emotional trauma for her to be able to handle. But she thought maybe if she could get back into a normal groove of things, that fear might start to dissipate. Though how normal could things get to, at this point?

“Where have you been, Mal? What have you been doing? Are you okay?” Natalie asked, fully aware those questions weren’t going to have the simple answers she wanted to hear. But it was like all these questions just started bubbling up and Natalie was word vomiting everywhere. She wanted to know everything, seeing as how she hadn’t seen her brother in over a decade. That was a lot of time apart from him, especially considering the fact that Natalie had thought of Malcolm as her best friend.

I think I've had enough of this

TEMPLATE BY: THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE MIKEY ! @ CAUTION.