just try it. TAG; camille

[jackson]

fancy meeting you here.

For being as old as she was, Camille was remarkably underdeveloped socially, it seemed. Which wasn't too farfetched. The majority of the world seemed to be made up of humans and being that she didn't associate with the lot of them, it was safe to assume that she was out of practice. And it wasn't as if she remembered socialization before having been turned. In a lot of ways, she was as mature as she was immature. It was intriguing. One never quite got used to it. He was never sure of what to expect of her. It thrilled him and kept him always on edge but in a good way. She almost never disappointed even when she angered or upset him. Because he never saw it coming. It was always so sudden, so unique, so Camille. Being around her was never boring. He vowed to upkeep their friendship from this point on. He couldn't not keep in contact with this woman.

Jackson would be lying if he said that he was completely unaware of Camille's interest. The woman didn't necessarily hide it completely. She was careful though. She never allowed it to go too far. She didn't let it move past that point of platonic adoration that they both easily expressed. They were incredibly alike and by all counts, they probably would have been together in another time and place. It was simply bad timing on Jackson's part. He seemed to always be wrapped up in something when someone more suitable came along. It was almost as if he was cursed in this way. The grass was always greener. Because this was usually happening to him, he didn't bother trying to change the situation. He just let things fall into place the way they would. Standing against her like this, he felt her heart beating against his chest and was instantly lulled into a calm by the familiarity, the warmth that it suggested. Granted, hers was an artificial beat, pumping someone else's blood through veins. Stolen life. But it was beautiful, the concept of vampire anatomy and physiology. It was a renegade beauty, the idea of living on through the blood of others. At least, he thought so.

And then just as soon as the sadness had descended, it was uplifted by Camille's winning smile and Jackson clinked their glasses together softly, agreeing with her toast. Taking a long drink, he inclined his head toward her, "Your word is law, Camille. Be sure to uphold it. I can't bear my life without you in it any longer. And that's the truth. If Ari's conversation were half as stimulating as her looks, I'd be much more satisfied in the current situation." The wine had loosened his tongue, it seemed. Only after another sip did he realize his slip up, having said the girl's name aloud. But he tried not to call attention to it. Maybe Camille did not notice. They were both on the road to a healthy buzz, after all, him more so considering his previous alcohol consumption.

[camille]

Camille loved being held by him as she just gazed into his eyes as they both relaxed for a moment. She listened to his strong heart beat as blood moved through his veins, always the temptation to discover what it tastes like, but she would never do that to Jackson. She cared about him too much, she knew he would hate her for it, and he might harm her if she even attempted to. They kind of referenced this this evening in the alley. She saw him thinking, wondering what it could be about when he was just looking at her. They were rather close, both of them seeming perfect in a sense for each other, but it had always been the wrong time and the wrong place. It frustrated her in so many ways and she knew they would be so great together as a couple, but she understood his knack for a dating life. She needed it herself and even was exploring her options, but so far none of them compared to her desire towards Jackson. It was not consuming, but it was strong. She knew he noticed it in her, but he probably did not understand how much she wanted this to work. Simply because she was one of his closest friends and he was with someone else, she would just stay low for a while and support him wherever he went.

She knew if this were to work between them it either would have happened or he would lead her to dating him. Part of her knew it might never work out because they had much better luck just in their friendship and she had accepted that a long time ago. She smirked as the alcohol has brought out Jackson’s personality slightly more. It would take much more for Camille to even reach the point of where he was at. Being a vampire, it affected her overall resistance to the alcohol, but there was a breaking point for her, but her tolerance also came from years and years of experience.

She reflected on his words once more and simply nodded, a smile crossing her lips, “As I can’t live without you, darling,” she said as she listened, the girl’s name being discovered as she noticed how quiet he had gotten, raising an eyebrow. “Ari, is that short for Arianna?” She asked him as she took another drink of her wine.

[jackson]

fancy meeting you here.

Jackson was fascinated by vampires and their way of living. He did find it terribly interesting. But he wasn't much for the idea of being bitten, no. It wasn't that he was frightened. It wasn't even that he didn't want to share his blood. He just simply thought of the act as extremely intimate. In a sense, he would be giving something away that was a part of him, indeed, his life force. He would be giving the drinker himself. The essence of him. And it was simply just too personal a matter to be performed at the time. If he ever dated a vampire and things got serious, well then, he'd consider allowing it. And even then, he would take his time mulling the idea over. It was a bit silly. Made him feel like a teenage girl holding on to her virginity. It was important to him, however. It couldn't be helped. No vampire would have any part of his blood, he just knew it. And if they did, they would die slowly. He'd bury the stake an inch at a time, draining the creature of every ounce of blood that it had taken from Jackson's body. Inch by agonizing inch. It was a morbid thought. He hadn't killed a vampire. Hadn't had much of a need. But he was sure that he would do it if one tried to feed on him without his permission. It was just a personal matter. The blood banks were a bit different. He wouldn't fight that quite so much. It was more impersonal. You didn't have to look your predator in the eye.

Allowing himself to think of him and Camille as something more was not something that Jackson thought of routinely. She had always been off limits when they were together. He was always with someone else. But in this moment, he had thought a great deal about it. They would have been great together. Unstoppable, the two of them. He could at least agree with that. Were he a man of lesser morals, he would have taken her immediately, right then and there, perhaps on the bar top. But as it was, he was an honorable man and prideful. He would never stoop to a level that would be comparable with his father when it concerned women. He would never purposely hurt a woman if he could help it. Following his little slip-up, Camille first addressed his prior comment and Jackson was convinced that he was off of the hook. And then she dug further into the latter of his statements and he cringed visibly, an interesting reaction considering how well he was usually able to mask emotions. "Don't dig up what would lead to chaos, Camille. You don’t need a name. All hell will break loose, love. And with a name, you could easily blackmail me someday, if you felt so inclined. Forget what I said." He needed a distraction but in his tipsy state, he could think of nothing. He just stood there. Shrugging after a moment, he smiled at the woman and ran a hand through his hair, "So tell me about your latest. I want every last unsavory detail. Tell me your gossip. We'll drink to every tasteless thing you can come up with and giggle like school girls. What do you say?"

[camille]

Camille saw him cringe and she got utterly suspicious at what he said and just raised an eyebrow, feeling a slight tinge of pain that he could not trust her with merely her name and she knew she would remember it. When people told her to do something, she tended to do the opposite and vice versa. She did not say anything back to him after that, feeling slightly bitter as she just downed most of her glass, setting it down as she just looked away from him. Part of her hated when he left some things unsaid, but then again it kept her thinking and on her feet. If he always were so easy around her, she would lose interest easily and they would rarely see each other. She could see his point, but she would not be that cruel to him in the long run, if she wanted to bring pain to him, she would have simply killed the woman he was dating. Then again, if she wanted something from him, she could see herself blackmailing him. She always kept her options open usually and she remembered nearly every detail. She was not going to mention it now because it might lead him to unnecessarily to think her untrustworthy. Her hands just traced along the edge of the glass as she came to fill her glass once more, the liquid in the bottle quickly growing less and less. She wanted to feel tipsy or feel something and forget feeling anything right now. What he said kind of sent her into a bit of an annoyance, but she would not let on about that, merely just go on with their conversation. It had been a while since alcohol had tested her tolerance though, so she would see.

Part of her ironically did not much care for gossip and she did not have much on her fingers right now. “Dear, I have none on my hands at the moment, nor do I much care for gossip, but simply I’ve been seeing someone, kind of. It’s more just for fun than anything else at this point,” she said softly as she thought of Leon, her mind unsure of what to think yet. She knew he would ask about this, but she just smiled softly at him and let him dwindle in the moments of her words. Sometimes she liked doing this to him when he got all secretive, but honestly, she just liked making anyone squirm before they spoke. The bitterness of the wine caught her at the end, making her set her jaw as she just sighed softly. Camille had not truly dated someone for a long time so it would be news to Jackson, although she never really said she was dating someone. More so when she said that it was just for fun implied that she would be dating exclusively if she wanted. She talked about Leon as though he was unimportant, but part of her knew that was not true, that she felt that something was on the verge of changing between them.

[jackson]

fancy meeting you here.

They weren't trustworthy creatures. Surely Camille knew that. Neither one of them should have been rightfully trusted. They only reason anything resembling trust was established was simply because they shared similar views and therefore were better able to predict the actions of the other accordingly. They simply knew each other well enough to come up with a counter plan to any one of the outcomes expected of the other. Jackson didn't truly trust many people. Even Camille who he had known--or at least known of--for over eight years. There wasn't much stock in trust. It was an overrated amenity. Why did one require absolute trust of anyone? It obviously wasn't imperative in any relationship because plenty of relationships, romantic and platonic, functioned just fine without it. And Camille wouldn't be hurt if he took what he knew and applied it to their situation. She understood the same concept. She embraced it utterly. They could play pretend all they wanted. Hell. They could someday be together, as man and wife, and they'd still distrust each other. Why? Because they were smart. They weren't going to be played. There would be all sorts of prenuptial agreements; tons of stipulations, recommendations, compensations all written down on paper. Signed their x on the line, dotted the i's and crossed the t's. They weren't fools.

Jackson listened, slightly amused that she didn't catch his sarcasm, but very willing to listen to what it was she had proceeded to say. More to do with romance, of course, and he wouldn't complain. Reproduction was what made the world go 'round, so the subject of love and other such dealings would be a constant conversation saver. She continued on to explain that the union was more for fun than for serious life partner searching and he nodded knowingly. He knew that he and Ari wouldn't last. It was only a matter of time before she realized that there were others out there more suitable. And whose businesses didn't involve being around such a great deal of iron. Construction did have quite a lot of iron involved in it. Luckily enough, he was at a desk for the most part. But on occasion, he'd go on site and come back, reeking of iron to a poor faerie like Ari. Those days, she avoided him like the plague and he didn't blame her. From what he'd heard from the faeries, iron was a terrible, painful thing. "It's a good thing to have those around. Someone who can take your mind off of the turmoil that we've made for ourselves these days. And then, when you’re thoroughly satisfied that your thoughts and emotions will be fine for another short while, you send them on their way; just until next time. They're a welcome distraction up until they've fulfilled their purpose. That's all 'having fun' is, isn't it though?" Jackson took a sip of his wine, the right corner of his mouth turned up slightly. He didn't much care to know more about this alleged lover. He wasn't here to hear about him. He was here for Camille. "So, sweet Camille, tell me," he continued, "What is it that you're distracting yourself from?"

[camille]

Camille just listened to his words and she felt like they merely agreed with her, but in a sense he was mocking her, as she just stared into his eyes for a long moment, raising an eyebrow for a moment at his question. He obviously was not interested and therefore it was thrown away, as he kind of dug under her skin. They both seemed to go back and forth with each other, but it kept them alive really. They both understood that this is what needed to be said, that this was the nitty gritty that they needed to get down to. She really did want to tell him, but unfortunately it was about him and she was not sure if she wanted to lie to him this time, but she needed a way out. It was like backing someone into a corner and demanding an explanation. “If only I would be willing to tell you, but one does have secrets,” she said as she was rarely secretive about things from him, but she just eyed him having just ignored responding to his other comments, not seeing a need to. Right now, she kept this from him because it was an emotion she felt for him and it made her feel weak and despite the fact that she knew him all too well and he knew her just the same, she did not want him to see this part of her. But he was right, what was she running from and really what did she ever run from. It was unlike herself to run from something, but she hated her emotions and the actions and feelings they brought to her.

“Maybe someday, love,” she said as she then took a drink, allowing silence to set in between them as she just reached to his face gently, her soft, thin fingers resting on his cheek, leaning in as though she might whisper or kiss him, but she just said, “Hmm,” just softly and then leaned back up. He was really precious to her and she could not avoid it. She had the desire to be closer to him, to tell him what she really felt, although she knew he had known it. She never knew if she could put it to words quite the way she did and she was not about to try. He was dating someone and she did not want to spoil that for him.

[jackson]

fancy meeting you here.

Jackson knew that he was irritating her. He understood that he was asking her things, telling her things, that she didn't want to hear, not even in the slightest. But he needed that. He needed the rawness of this woman. She was an enigma. She could only be understood if one peeled away her outer layers. Perhaps even literally. He tried not to think about such things but the wine had him by his coattails, refusing to allow his thoughts to take the high road. He was deriving pleasure from this. A sick sort of content from watching Camille fight back the urge to put even a little trust in him, regardless of how much both wanted it. Jackson always enjoyed the fight. The chase. All of these things that suggested conflict and ultimate resolution; he found beauty in these. And when Camille held fast, claiming a need for secrets, Jackson didn't protest. He merely nodded once, raising his glass to her and taking another sip of the wine. Precious Camille. How she tormented and thrilled him all at once. She was a welcome change. He had hoped for something that would change the pace of things and Camille was just it. She met him at every corner, at each turn. There was no topping her. And he enjoyed that. For now. However, every chase came to an end. And the conclusion would be just as satisfying as the journey itself was, he was sure.

Maybe someday. Quite the promise. He didn't believe it, not for a second. It sounded much like a hollow promise. He didn't put stock in it. And then the woman moved forward and despite his initial surprise, he didn't move, didn't change his blank facial expression. He merely stared back, as if daring her to take some sort of action. And then she sat back and he took another drink. She wouldn't, not unless she knew what he would do, what he would say. Camille didn't jump blindly into things. Camille was calm, cautious and patient. She would wait for years for something simply because she did not yet trust or understand it. It was brilliant. The mind of a visionary. Of a predator. Jackson finished his glass and leaned forward slightly, hands folded in front of him. "Ms. Sanders. As charming and endearing as this all is, I'm a grown man whose biological clock is ticking away as we speak. Tick tock, tick tock and then I'll be gone. Time passes quickly, especially for you who has seen decades pass in what seems to be the blink of an eye. Armed with this knowledge, my dear, surely you will sympathize with me when I say that I have no time for games. And being your age, it's high time that you harness your adulthood and pull away from these games as well. So do not hold back from me. Do not hide from me things that are, as you have doubtless seen throughout your life, trivial matters for I haven't the time." Jackson paused. "Demonstrate to me that you are more than the rest of the women walking about Manuka with their heads held high. Helds head so high up in their asses that they completely miss the things that pass right beneath them. I'm giving you an opportunity to restore and improve upon this companionship we have. Step up to the challenge, love. Or let me down nice and easy and I will be on my way."

"Just don't play me for a fool. No amount of ethereal beauty is worth the effrontery, if you excuse my saying so."

[camille]

Camille just stared at him as he stared back, her body aching with the desire for him, the want to be close to him like have never before. She wanted to have the love that she could not have as being just a friend as she just kept her expression calm, as she gently set down the wine glass. There was something changing in the air, like she could feel a storm, her fingers tracing over the edge of the counter when he began speaking. She just froze over like ice as she just looked at the counter, hands tightening on the edge of the counter. They sunk into her like words she had much like spoken to herself. They were words the side of her attempted to bring her to say what she wanted whenever she pushed the desire back further and further until it resurfaced. She was in so much pain right now, feeling like she might choke to death on the air that she no longer needed that flooded her. She was not sure what she would do when he died and she was left to no one like him. She knew she would move on, but she was doubtless that there would be anyone that would be here forever. The thought was like another jolt of pain to her body.

She was going to tell him because she knew the time was right and he had basically pulled her into an invisible choke hold, but there was a second part that she might lose him forever and she was not that strong, she was stronger. She would tell him this and she just pulled herself up after her long moment of just thoughts. She was not quick to making this type of decision, something that could change their friendship for the better or the worst. She felt tears in her eyes, but would never let herself cry in front of him like this. She just looked him in the eye, and said, “I’m attracted to you,” she said simply as she then knew that was not what he needed to hear, “No, not even that. I’m in love with you. I did not want to tell you this because you have someone else, like you have always had. I did not want to place this on you because I care about you because I don’t want to see us both get hurt, because I was afraid of losing you. I’d live your whole life not telling you and it’d make a fool out of me, but I just want you to be happy,” she said, a tear rolling down her cheek as she just looked away from him.

She said she would not cry, but she was now and she knew what she said was not under her control, it was honest though and she could not have said it any better or worse. It was what it was. She just wiped away the tear, and looked up at him, going back to the strong, collected Camille he had always known. She wanted to jump across the counter and tackle him to the ground, part of her angry she made him do this, but part of it was a relief. There was tension, definitely tension between them, as she just looked into his eyes, holding the passion in hers she usually had in moments like these.

[jackson]

fancy meeting you here.

She just sat there. She took his verbal tirade with no more displeasure than she would take a mild insult. He was slightly unnerved by her hesitancy, by her stare. It wasn't characteristic of her. He was worried that he had struck a chord. That he had said something that had, perhaps, broken her. The entire time that he had gone on as he did, she had sat back and taken it. Near the beginning of his rant, she had set down her glass. Her hands were preoccupied for the remainder of his monologue, as they had moved to the edges of the counter. Her knuckles whitened as she applied pressure and then released her grip in a pattern that suggested a slip in control. Camille, who was normally so well-composed, was breaking apart before him. He finished speaking and simply watched in awe as she sat there, staring at him, staring at nothing. It was strange and entirely unsettling. Jackson almost regretted his words for a moment but held on instead, telling himself that they needed to be said. Whatever Camille was keeping from him, whatever she was holding back, it involved him. And he needed to know. Damn it, he deserved to know.

The woman sat like that, still and silent, her mind obviously working at a quick pace. And finally, she shifted slightly before drawing herself up, actually looking him in the eye. And though she looked at him, a determined sort of conviction in her stare, he was less intimidated than when she had been dead silent. At least this was familiar ground. At least this was something he could deal with. And finally, she stared off. Attraction? Ah, hell, was that all? He was very close to telling her that he returned the feelings of attraction and that she shouldn't worry about it and then she dropped the bomb. Love. Love was a much bigger deal. Love was something huge. Something magnificent. Love? She didn't love him. She was entirely mistaken. She was exaggerating. Or she was trying to mess with him. It was all a joke. But as he stared back into her eyes, he saw that she believed what she said. She believed it entirely and Jackson felt as if she had delivered a blow to his stomach. He felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him and he set down his glass, walking away from the counter. Away from Camille. Oh, god. "What a tangled web we weave," he murmured.

He didn't comment on the tear. He ran both hands through his hair and stared away, thinking quickly. He didn't know what to do. What to say. Jackson was with Aariana. He couldn't do this to her. But she was so young. Would it really be such a crime? Yes. Adultery is adultery, regardless of whether or not both parties involved were actually adults. With Ari though... Him being with Ari. It could hurt her. Leaving Ari, that would be ultimately helping her. And the best way to leave her and have her out of his life permanently would be to cheat on her. She would never go back to a man who made a fool of her. Would she? Jackson turned to Camille, for once at a loss. "Camille." Moving quickly to her, he grabbed her shoulders, staring back into her eyes, searching for deceit. "Tell me this is a joke. A tasteless joke. Tell me you wouldn't have me choose. Tell me--dear god." He moved his hands to both sides of her face, maintaining eye contact, "You don't love me. I can't love you. I can't. I tried not to... And it worked. For awhile. And now? God damn, the wine." He took a deep breath, "If you do mean it, say it again. Say it. But be sure. Be sure, Camille. You can't do this to me if you're not entirely positive."

[camille]

Camille just watched him walk away, feeling her heart drop then as she just took a step towards him when he had stopped as she just saw the panic that painted his expression, the shock that went through him. Then, she came up to him, demanding her to tell him a joke. It was not and they both knew it, although part of Jackson was panicking right now because of his relationship with Arianna. Then he basically said he loved her and she felt shocked to the core. She was frozen in front of him again as she just stared into his eyes silently as he asked for some form of confirmation. She was so unlike herself right now and part of her wanted to go back two minutes ago when she had not said this. She just stood there, staring into his eyes, as she just stood there. There were some things that had and should always remain secrets unless they were to be brought up at a better time and right now had obviously not been the right time. So much was happening so fast and she felt like she was just allowing it to happen as she just simply felt stuck. Like always something came between them and she most certainly did not want to be the reason that he broke up with his current girlfriend.

She just looked at him and calmly said, feeling tears roll down her cheeks, “I do love you, but I will not be the reason that you broke up with Arianna. This is why I did not tell you and refused to tell you. I did not want this exact thing to happen because I feel like we now are risking so much. Think about what you want, please. Take time, take weeks, take months, and come back to me then once you find what you want most,” she said, knowing he needed to slow down and to relax, even though it might be an impossible thing for him to do right now because this was huge. “You have no idea how long I’ve been sure about this, but I’ve always waited for the right moment and have never found one because you were wrapped up with someone and I did not want you to get hurt like this, to make a choice. I want you I do, but I will not force you to choose. Never would I do that to someone, no matter how black my heart is,” she said as she referenced simply to her nature as she just gently placed a hand on his, slipping her fingers through his.

She allowed the silence to sink in for a moment before she just stepped closer to him and kissed him deeply. It held every emotion she had for him and she wanted to give it to him before he left. She was greatly in fear that she might never see him again after this night and feared more so that she would. If she did, it meant he chose her and that meant she had broken them up in the long run. She stepped away from him, just waiting for him to walk away because that is what they needed right now, was to be away from each other.

[jackson]

fancy meeting you here.

Jackson wasn't used to panic. It wasn't a feeling that he could control, something that he had a knack with. When someone managed to take him by surprise as Camille had and then deliver news that was of such a shocking caliber, it was as if his mental processes had committed suicide. His logic had shut down. Who he was had just stopped working. Camille had meant a good deal to him and he had loved her seven years ago, even though he had been with another woman at the time. In fact, thinking back on it, he had to admit that that was probably why he had stopped coming around so often. He had wanted to avoid seeing her face. He couldn't bear being in the presence of a woman such as Camille and knowing that nothing could come of it. Not then. He wasn't an adulterer. He wasn't a man who took romance lightly. Jackson didn't play around with love. It was the only time that he did not lie, cheat or steal. He was not that kind of monster. He was not his father.

Camille had obviously thought about this for a long while. She was sure in everything that she said. She explained that she had anticipated reactions, results. It was terrifying to know that she had an edge on him in that moment; he who did not ponder on his feelings toward her. Not enough to come to a solid conclusion, anyhow. And now she was dealing out his choices to him. She was telling him to take his time. Take as much time as he needed. But time. Time, as he had explained to her, was the enemy. He didn't have time. He couldn't take the time to think about this. The amount of time it took to forget about her had been trying enough. She came back into his life for one night and it all came flooding back. Everything. Time. She told him to take time? This was insanity. This... And then she stopped to take his hand and he felt a calm settle over him. His thoughts cleared and he got a hold of himself just in time to agree with her. Yes. He did need time. But not too much. He'd just think it over in the middle of the night and then get back to her in a day or two.

And then suddenly, what distance was between them disappeared as Camille neared and drew his face to hers. The kiss was nothing short of intense and that recently familiar sense of panic welled up inside of him. He moved his hands to her shoulders, fully intending to push her away but he found that he couldn't. He just stood, a willing recipient of her affection. And then she pulled away from him and he stared at her for a moment before looking at the door behind him. Looking back to her, he nodded once, gesturing to the door. He was at a loss for words. After the kiss, he wasn't sure just how much time he needed. "I'll just show myself out." He averted his eyes and turned away from her, walking quickly to the door and opening it. Before leaving, he turned his head slightly, unable to meet the vampire's eyes one more time, "Goodbye, Camille."He stepped through the door and made his way from her home, the previous events far from his mind. No, his thoughts were wrapped up in something else. They were far away from this place, preoccupied in the concept of time.