Post by cierra on Jun 22, 2011 23:26:28 GMT
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tryin not to give up[/center]
It seemed that there was only two kinds of bathinsuit styles. There was bikini style to show as much skin on a girl as physically possible without showing of the stuff. The other was a one piece that covered everything and pulled down hard on your shoulders. Cierra had to give in to the bikini style, though she tried to get one that covered at least something. It wasn't too awful. When she first walked into the public pool, she could almost feel the eyes on her. It was probably her just being paranoid, but she knew she only looked average in the bathingsuit. There wasn't a lot of people swimming that day. Most people were out working while Cierra was lucky enough to have a day off. The people that were there, however, were some rich people that didn't want the crowded expensive pools, so they usually had the bodies to pull off a bathingsuit in a way Cierra figured she never could.
She gripped onto her bright blue beach bag with a darker bottom and it packed with just about everything you would need for a pool. Sunscreen, sunglasses, and a black and white beach towel with palm trees on it. The sunglasses she would have to wear while she was sunbathing after she went for a swim. The swim wasn't to stay in shape or to go working out. Just wanted to go and cool off in the hot summer sun. Though she didn't mind the summer sun. In fact, she would prefer that over the cold. Cierra was easily cold. Just a chilly breeze and she wanted to wear a large jacket in order to keep herself from shivering so much. That's why she went and sat in the sun for an hour after she went swimming. Even the smallest of a breeze would make her wet skin feel cold. What better way to dry off than laying with your back to the sun?
She found a close seat to the edge of the water then took off her flip flops and slid into the pool. The heated water was still cool against the heat of the day. Chill went up her spine as the rest of her body came in. Her legs started to kick to keep herself warm and start on the swim. It was lucky for her that there wasn't a lot of people occupying the pool. There was a line in the middle of it to show the difference between the shallow end and the deep end. Most people were hanging around the edge of the deep end or with their kid in the middle of the shallow end. This left quite a bit of room for her to dance around in the water. It just let the the thoughts in her mind explode and release with ease. Cierra found that there was a similar result from when she ran. The only problem with running was that it got her annoyed she couldn't run very fast.
When she formed into a husky, she ran as fast and as far as she wanted. It was amazing how fast dogs could run if they went on full blast. There was a good reason that huskies were the ones to lead sleds up in Alaska. A few times, she thought she could just change into a dog in Alaska to fit in there. There wouldn't have to be anyone bugging her. Nothing but running and pulling all day, but then the thought of being in the freezing cold was awful. She couldn't stay in her animal form forever. Cierra tended to stay in animal form for quite a long time- meaning about two weeks- just because it hurt to change back. One of the things that she hated the most was having to deal with pain. Watching, feeling, or hearing it from her or someone else. No one deserved to experience pain. Physical or mental.
Mental she had learned to deal with. It was the physical that made her extremely fragile and weak. In her mental state, only someone close could really effect it. There was a very small amount of people who were close enough to do something like that. Other than that, comments she heard from strangers didn't seem like much, positive or negative. She knew very firmly that she was average looking, she was smart, and she had a few emotional flaws. Overall, she saw herself as a good person. The only time strangers effected her mood was when she offended them in some way. Someone bumped her and yelled at her, she'd cring and almost automatically apologize. Cierra couldn't stand anyone mad at her. Too much has happened. Everyone seemed to be angry at just about everything she did.
All these thoughts washed away with ease in the water. Once she was done playing in the water, she swam to the edge. With a swift movement, she swung her legs up on the floor then into her seat that she reserved unofficially. She dug into her bag, brought out her sunglasses, and lay down on the lounge chair. For some reason, she felt a little uncomfortable. Not sure if it was the bathingsuit in public or just a strange feeling wealming inside of her. With annoyance, she sat up and took a hand to rub her forehead. What was going on with her? There was no reason for Cierra to be stressed ,so it confused her why she felt this way. Nothing in her life was going out of the ordinary from when she was six. The only difference was a job.
TELL ME THERES A WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE
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