SUHRBIER, stephoni jitera

[steph]

STEPHONI JITERA SUHRBIER !?

'don't feel bad for me i want you to know deep in the cell of my heart i will feel so glad to go'

hey there! so, tell us all about you... let's start off with the basics. what do we need to know?

"What's up, ye mateys? Argg? Lame, yes I know. Hardy har har. Funny shit. Great comedian right here, mhm. *laughs at her own sarcasm* Name is Stephoni. Rather be called Steph, though. Stephoni Suhrbier is the full name. Mouthful, ain't it? This rather ravishing woman you're sitting across from is approximately twenty two years of ripe age. I'm a ghost if you couldn't already tell. I doubt you would though, sometimes it's pretty difficult. *tries to keep a straight face* Yeah. I've been dead for about four or five some years. Ha! Foursome! Caught that one this time! Since we're on the topic of sex jokes. My sexuality is straight, heterosexual. Whatever. Sure some girls are hot as fuck, but I am no lesbian, sweetheart. My side of the war? What the hell? Do you even have to ask? I'm on the Light side, matey. Yes, I just went back to my lame pirate joke. I felt it was good transition, so I don't know why you're looking at me like that. Have a little sense of humor. Damn, gonna pull that rod out of your ass anytime soon?"

so, a little birdy told me that you're pretty gorgeous... describe yourself.

"Okay, hun, calm your titties. I'm not that gorgeous. Come on now. Obviously I'm a brunette, so you're dumb as fuck if you couldn't tell that. I have greenish-hazel eyes and my skin is like milk. Mmm milk. Damnit! Now I want some Oreos. The shape of my eyes? Da fuck? They're round like everyone elses. Except for-...Okay nevermind that would sound soooo racist, man *laughs*. My hair is at about my shoulder blades in the back. Yeah, I'm jumping around with my description of myself. Sorry I didn't have a script prepared. Sorry you're holy-ness. Didn't realize you were God. OOooo *rolls eyes* Texture of my hair? I can't believe you're actually seriously. Un-fucking-believable. My hair is naturally pretty wavy, but does that even matter to anyone? Come on now.

My body type is pretty average. I got titties and I got an ass and I got me some hips. I don't wear no damn size 0 and my bra size is way above A cup. So let's just say I'm a healthy, strong and independent black woman. *laughs* Okay I had to make that joke, sorry! I'm about 5'9" in height and weigh about 147 pounds or summat. Does it matter anyways? Hell to the aaahhh-NO. Yep, I'm preaching it! Whoo. Tattoos? Hell yeah. I have nine. One shooting arrow on my index finger, a lyric from a Lady Gaga song on on my arm, crossing arrows on my next, a warped tour '09 tattoos on my foot, a bandaid on my knee, another tattoo on the bottom of my foot that says 'i drag my feet', one of those funny heart tattoos that usually have 'MOM' in the center but I got the words 'OLDER MEN' and have an arrow through the heart, and apple core on my right ankle, and lastly I have a house fly on my shoulder blade.. Here, lemme show you: bandaid tattoos,arrow on my finger,warped tour tattoos,I drag my feet tattoo,Lady Gaga tattoo,apple core,crossing arrows, older men tattoo,and the fly. I'm glad I wasn't fearful of that shit before I died. I can't stay solid long enough for a sitting at the tattoo place.

I also have a few piercings. I have my septum pierced and both sides of my nostrils. I also both of my ears stretched. I would tell you what size I got them stretched to, but I can't fucking remember. Also I have my cartilage pierced and I usually wear an arrow earring in that. Yes, there is a sick obsession with arrow trapped in this girl right here. My clothing is quite odd. I love vintage clothes and old band tees. Or battered up shorts and combat boots and cardigans. Oh and I love to wear hats. That's about it. Beez byez.
"

i'm sure that your personality is something else completely, tell me all about your self, can't wait to hear it!

"Seriously. What is up with you? You're either on some crazy shit or you're...yeah you're just on some crazy shit. Whatever you're on, I seriously want some. Ahah, just kidding. I have better things to do than do drugs. For cereal. Which means...for serious in my own little made up weird vocabulary. Anyways. I like reading books, singing, watching cartoons, skipping, being all fan girl over things, cupcakes, blasting my iPod on full volume, fast food, meeting new people, performing. Is that enough likes for you? Okay, good. I'm ready to Gooooooo gooooo *sings* Oh sorry. I disliiikkeee waking up early, rainy days, being dead, warm weather, people who only listen to one type of music, racists, people who are self conscious about their dance moves. It's like come on who cares? Have fun and stop worrying about what other people think? Can I move on now?

Three strengths are my vocal skills, shaking my ass...just kidding. For cereal, doh. Though. Haha. I'm good at making people laugh and I'm good at staying in a wonderful mood. Weaknesses of mine are obviously OLD MEN, *laughs* okay that tattoo was only a joke, so I seriously don't even like that. Pedophile action going on there. Okay, weaknesses are the smell of bakeries, good music, and a cute guy. What else? Habits I have are saying 'for cereal', 'doh' or in other words though at the end of my sentences, I say 'come on now' whenever I'm irritated, and I tend to sing randomly. I used to be a band, so I guess I am pretty fucking amazing.

Fears? Come on now. Calm down with that shit. I'm not sure if I fear two things. I mean, what else is there to fear once you're dead. Humph. I guess you could say I fear moving on. What else is there beyond this world? As soon as I died, I stepped out of my body and I was kind of just staring at myself. Another fear...Um. I'm kinda afraid of insects. If I see one, I kill it. Fuck you tree huggers. Haha, I'm only kidding. I'm going to honestly and openly just tell you my secret. Nobody knows this at all, except for my family and the old town I came from. I committed suicide. That's why I can't move on. I know I can only move on once Avery comes back, but that'll never happen. Sadly. It's shit being like this, man. I just wish you understood. One huge desire of mine is to keep solid for one whole day, but I know for a fact you have to have been dead for a bazillion years to let that happen. I've only been dead for five years, so hell no I can't do that shit. Considering my family thinks I'm dead, I don't talk to them and it's going to stay that way. Alright? You've already seen how I act since you've been interviewing me. So there is very little to no need to explain any more of myself. I feel like I'm an open book, so go ahead and...read *giggles* Sounds like some cheesy sex reference. "

i would love to hear about your past, i'm sure it's oh so interesting...

"I was born in Chesapeake, Virginia to the perfect life. I've always been so outgoing and positive. Sooo, of course I had friends and such. Life was too perfect, though. So I asked my parents to send me away for a year to a boarding school just to spice my life up. It had sounded like such a great idea at the time, but I do regret parts of it. I only stayed for a year like promised. Sadly, I came back a completely different person. So much had happened in the course of year. Oh boy. That year was a train wreck. I was a Junior in high school and I was just ready to meet new people and have a new experience in my life. I met boat loads of people and they were unbelievably nice. In a matter of time I had made the best of friends I could have asked for. It was so fun living on campus and being able to visit your friends whenever you wanted and just have a good old time. I was doing pretty well in school and such. Yet, the thing was I was still unhappy.

Yep, I'm one of those irritating girls who always have to pick the worst out of the best situations. Big deal. I had a best friend that I was attached to completely. Her name was Skyler. She was so exotic and beautiful, with her Phillipino genes and killer body. Sure, she was the slut of the school, but she was the most beautiful girl I had laid my eyes on and she was my best friend. Standing next to her, I felt ugly though. I never felt...ugly before. I always thought I looked decent, just like any other girl. But Skyler got me thinking.. I was seventeen and still hadn't had my first kiss or a boyfriend. While Skyler had hooked up with just about everyone with a pulse. She had game and I didn't.

I became overcome with jealousy and my mood at people began changing and I was just slowly becoming depressed. Don't look at me like I'm some type of pathetic cry baby. You have to remember I had such an easy life, so simple things like that seriously tore me down. And the fact that I was still going through puberty sucked ass. Despite my new feelings about myself, I kept it hidden and just cried on my own at nights when no one was around. I just felt lonely and ugly and no one wanted me. I would look around and see all these couples and wish I could have a life like that. I was just too average and too nice and too boring for anyone to like me. Pfft, well I thought that at the time. It was the first step, according to my psychiatrist, to my mental instability. I'm no mental case, I just was becoming depressed slowly. All I fucking wanted was a simple kiss from a decent boy. Was that too much too ask?

Things completely went down hill when I met up with Avery. It was weird because I had met him before at music camp. We had gone to the same camp in Virginia and instantly we became best friends. This was when I was younger, though. We constantly played music together. Actually he played guitar and I sand vocals. As soon as she saw each other, we became close as we had before. It was just that confidence boost I needed. Avery was that stereotypical guy best friend with the tan skin, long hair, extremely tall and gorgeous. I thought I was in emo heaven or sommat. What I loved about Avery was that he had that same trapped and lost feeling that I had. We just wanted to run away from it all. And...that's what we did exactly. I'm ashamed to say I was as stupid to actually believe all the bullshit he was slinging at me that he loved me and he would never hurt me.

He thought of me as a friend and that only, but I was completely in love with him. Cliche, ain't it? *rolls eyes* My life is such a soap opera. Anyways, we just ran away from the boarding school and traveled around America in my little banged up car and used up whatever money we had. Once we did start to run out of money and places to run to, we started a band. With a few other blokes that played drums and played the bass. But me and Avery were the stars of it all *smiles sadly at the memory* My life was perfect then. I remember after our first gig, we had been so successful and the manager asked us to come back to the bar again to play and we were so happy. That same night was the first time Avery had kissed me. And that was my first kiss, and I had thought it was his too, but apparently not.

For months we just salvaged off money by playing for bars and played at community centers and were hired for parties. We were living the life of rockstars. Avery and I, and the other two guys we were with stayed in the hotel. Me and Avery always shared a room though. Yeah... Avery and I had even tried our first sip of alcohol together. It was so funny. I was sooooo drunk and I could not stop laughing. *laughs* I do miss those times. Umm. Anyways. It was me and Avery's four month anniversary and it was his idea to spend the day together. That was supposed to be the day I was going to lose my virginity to him. The day before I went out to go shopping and go out for the night with my friends just to loosen up. Usually when I go out for the night, I'll spend the night with whoever I went with. Soo, Avery must have thought that was the case too. But I wasn't feeling well, so I had asked my friend to take me back to the hotel room.

When I opened the door... Avery was there in the middle of having sex with a guy. Yes. A man. I didn't know how to react. I just screamed and Avery shot up and tried to chase me down the hallway. But I was gone. I can't even remember how much I cried. Anyways... I went back home then. I was in so much trouble. I missed the rest of the school year at the boarding school. They sent me back because they had prepaid for me to go for two years. Umm. I was flunked and had to repeat Junior year...again.

All my friends hated me for leaving and I was more alone than before. I felt so ugly and used. All of it had been a lie. Avery had liked men the whole time. I always found it weird that Avery would always try to stop me whenever I tried to get intimate with him. I was not just realizing it. He hadn't cared at all. Avery had tried to call me nonstop, but I changed my number. Umm. *plays with thumbs* I just felt so dumb. Was I that ugly that he had to turn to men to satisfy him or sommat? Like, come on now. If he really loved me, he would have told me that I wasn't exactly his cup of tea. I was fucking crushed.

So. One day when I was in one of my more messed up episodes I had went into the locker room showers and began to cut my wrists with a blade I bought. My friend found me passed out and she took me to the hospital. After that I was on strong suicide watch and I had to see a therapist. I was happy I was getting help, but it wasn't working. So I just wrote my parents a note when they were home and I...hung myself in my basement. It wasn't that long of a struggle. As soon as I died I had stepped out of my body and I just stared at my body until I heard my parents coming home from upstairs and they saw the note and ran downstairs. I still can't get my mother's screams out of my head...

After I was dead I kind of just roamed around for awhile, confused as to what was going on. I had jumped to a conclusion that I certainly was dead because I believed in ghosts. I was lost for about year until I actually found Manuka and all these kind people helped me get a hold of my...ghostlyness? Not a word, is it? Oh well. I've been in Manuka for about four years now. I'm working on being able to stay solid for a long time. It's doing alright I guess. The people here are amazing and I know I'm here to stay. "

who is the amazing mastermind behind the likes of you?

"Hey it's Circe<3 Yeah I just made a new characters, I know... But she's been stuck in my head since I've joined the site. I also have Trace Lewis, Lucas Remenuis, Ryland Mckinley, Gwen Lennox, Derek Brensen, and Evalisse Vazquetelles. I love you guys<3 "

psssh, girl bye xD.

[ALLY]

ACCEPTED!
slkdfjvnsfdkvn i love her and sierra custerback and you and skfjvnsfv wiiiiiiiiiife
don't forget the claims fuckin circe! <3