shadows and regrets [sameya]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto] It was her lunch break that cold winter afternoon in Manuka, and she was thankful for it. She had begun to get a headache earlier and needed a break from the office. There was nothing really going on lately to keep her busy, so most of the day was down time. She liked keeping herself busy though because it kept her alert and more aware of her surroundings. She didn’t like looking like an oblivious girl, but it was so beyond true that she just accepted it. She tried her best to keep her mind going and tried to learn about new things. Working at a lawyer’s office made that easy, and she was quickly gaining tons of information about the law. She could probably go to school, but her work right now was pretty time consuming and she made better than decent pay. She liked the people she worked with, too. They were all amazing people, and she had been with them since before her parents died. They were some of the most understanding people she could ask to work for, and she was so thankful to them that they kept her even after she was almost suited unfit for it. She really couldn’t have asked for better bosses. She was lucky. But then again, she was even more unlucky. So many things had happened to the girl, and yet she still managed to think she was somehow lucky. It was maybe because she knew there were more people out there that had had it so much worse than her. People in third world countries, people who were homeless and without jobs. About seven years ago if you were to ask her if she was lucky, she would laugh in their faces. Now was a different story. Now she could see the brighter side of everything that had happened to her. For one, she was slightly more independent. She didn’t let people come into her life and take over anymore. She held her ground more frequently (it always depended on who it was she was trying to hold her ground against), and she was able to think freely. She had unsolved business though. for one, she was still almost completely alone in the world. Sure she had her coworkers, but she didn’t talk to them about anything other than work-related things. The only other person in her life who she could talk to was someone she hadn’t seen in six years. Today she had a few friends and acquaintances, but no one that she could relate to or talk to as intimately. she had never told anyone about the recurring dreams, how badly her shaking had gotten to be, or about how much she wanted to scream sometimes. Just to scream. She just wanted to get it all out. All of the anger that had boiled up over the years. But it all stayed inside, and she had no way to get it out. Freya walked into the town multiplex and wondered around for a bit before heading into a Wendy’s. She got her lunch and sat in a booth close to the window. She looked out at the people walking by and the snow as it fell to the round in flurries with the wind. She ate in perfect silence. A small grin spread across her face as she popped a few fries into her mouth almost greedily. She knew she should probably not eat so badly, but it tasted so good that she didn’t really care. Fast food was one of the only things in life she could actually count on. She knew it would always be there, and if one closed down, another opened up a few blocks over. it was basically America’s haven. She heard the bell above the door to the Wendy’s ring, and she looked up to see who it was. when she caught sight of him, she choked on her fries. She hit her hand against her chest and blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes. After taking a quick sip of Coke, she returned her gaze to him. Sure enough, there he was standing tall with a scruffy five o-clock shadow. His blue eyes had never popped so much. So many things were running through her head that she could barely hold back a sob of relief. She stood, left her food where it was, then walked up to him. She took a deep breath before tapping on his shoulder. She bit her lip and backed away a little just in case she had been mistaken. If it wasn’t Sam, who could it be? She didn’t know anyone with such blue eyes. If she was mistaken, she would go back to eating her food, and she would most likely have a bizarre dream about him. If it was him, she didn’t know what to think. Or how to feel. [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sometimes the hunter wondered what he was doing in Manuka. Sure, there was the obvious answer. This city had the highest concentration of supernatural creatures that he had ever come across. But there were other hunters who could deal with it and Sam knew that. So he still tried to avoid Manuka on principle, since it didn’t bring back the happiest memories. Or at least he had been, until the kid told himself it was time to quit being such a baby and man up. It had been nearly ten years since his family was murdered and even though he knew he’d never be able to just “get over it,” he also couldn’t let it control his life more than it already was.

If he wanted a better excuse, Sam would say that he came back because he had other friends who had gravitated towards this area. They were hunters, too, and had been attracted by the large supernatural population. And Sam didn’t think he’d run into anyone he used to know, so he was safe on that front. Even then, Sam still knew that wasn’t the reason to come back here. He thought he probably just wanted to torture himself. That had to be the best and truest reason by far. There seemed to be some part of him deep down that wanted to ruin things when they made him happy.

Trust him; he didn’t do it on purpose. He wanted to believe that he deserved to be happy and he was in no way purposely sabotaging himself. It was the guilt that he felt pulling him down and destroying it. While Sam now knew that it wasn’t his fault that his family was dead or that his brother betrayed them, he knew how he had reacted afterwards was entirely his choice. His responsibility. He could’ve been mature about things, faced them instead of running away like he had. Sam had been selfish in that respect. He had decided what was best for him and didn’t think about anyone else.

Because if he regretted one thing the most out of everything he had ever done, it was leaving her behind. Sam shouldn’t have done it. The moment he left, he knew it was a mistake. But he also felt like he couldn’t just turn around and go back. The only solace the hunter had was that he knew Freya was a strong girl. As innocent and unassuming she had been when they were younger, he knew she’d get over his disappearance and she’d go off and make something of herself. Sam had always pictured her as some big name artist, in New York or California or possibly another continent.

At least half of him was hoping that. The other, more selfish half of himself was hoping that Freya was still in Manuka. It wasn’t fair to think that she had stayed in this stupid city when he had known she hadn’t been happy with her family life. She deserved to get away and be happy. It still didn’t mean that Sam didn’t want to see her. Freya was the only person he’d want to run into in the whole world. Ever. His heart would beat irrationally fast and he’d feel his throat close up like he was having an allergic reaction every single time he thought he saw someone that could be her. He knew the chances of seeing her were about the same as a snowball’s in Hell, but he still couldn’t stop himself.

So it was fair to say he actually almost died after walking into Wendy’s. It wasn’t a place Sam frequented often, considering the fact that their menu consisted mainly of meat and the hunter was of the vegetarian sort. He guessed he’d reason with himself and he’d say it was for fries and a shake, because who didn’t love that combination? Someone without a soul, that was for sure. At least, that was his logical reason. Because if Sam wanted to be all cheesy and go the romantic movie route, he’d say it was fate that dragged him there. And fate indeed, because what other force could be strong enough to explain the next couple of seconds?

When the tap came on his shoulder, he figured it was some mom who had two crazy kids hanging off of her asking if she could go in front of him since Sam was taking his time. He wouldn’t have minded in the slightest. But he hadn’t been anywhere near prepared to turn around and find himself staring into a pair of hazel eyes that were more familiar to him than his own. Sam’s breath was knocked out of him as if he had been hit by a freight train and for a minute or two, all he could do was stare at her. His eyes traveled around her face, trying to memorize every single detail of it as if she would just disappear. Finally, he was able to manage a word. It was so soft though, softer than a sigh. “Freya?” He didn’t think she’d even hear him.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto] She couldn’t tell if this was some kind of dream, or if this was all real and she was in some kind of sick nightmare of a world. It had been so long that she barely recognized him with the stubble along his chin. Her eyes widened when he saw her and said her name. her heart did a back flip and went into her throat. It had been so long since she had heard him say her name. so many things flowed through her mind. At first she was ecstatic to finally see him again. a wide grin flashed across her face and she lunged into his arms, putting her own around his neck tightly. She had thought for sure he had been dead all of this time! But how could he not be? He had left years ago, right? She didn’t know he could survive this long on his own. What had he been up to? And when did he get all these muscles? His hard chest was a completely new feeling to her. He just didn’t feel the same. “Sam,” she said almost as softly. She sighed and let herself go, and that was when it hit her. After all this time, he had been alive. He hadn’t come back for her. She had been deserted. And he left her to think he was dead for years! How could he do that to her? He just up and left without a single word as to whether or not he was okay. Did he know how many hours she had spent looking for him? Or how many dreadful hours were spent crying because she had lost her best friend? There was too much running through her mind right now, and she didn’t even know what to say to him. She had thought so many times about what to tell him if she ever reconnected with him again. she was supposed to ask where he had been, what he had been up to, things of that sort, but now her mind was completely blank. Just lie every canvas she had tried painting since his disappearance. It was like he was her muse, the thing that made her want to create something beautiful. She hadn’t realized it until now how much she had missed painting and sketching. She hadn’t been able to do it though. nothing ever came to mind, and after what seemed like hours of staring at a blank paper, she finally had just given up altogether. She hadn’t really ever thought about doing it again since then until now. She had finally put the pieces together, though, so at least she would now why it was she had stopped so suddenly. It used to be a good way to let her emotions flow and it was how she took her mind off of everything. It was a type of escape for her. An escape from her already broken family. Now her only escape was working or talking to Tallulah every once in a while. Freya didn’t know if she could stomach this any longer. Too many things were running through her mind. Happiness, for him being alive and obviously well, sad because she realized what he had done to her after all of these years, and angry at him for doing them. She didn’t understand how someone who claimed to be her best friend could just abandon her after something like that. And he hadn’t been there when her family had died. She had no one to turn to, no one’s shoulder to cry on. All she had was a broken, empty heart and the memory of her family, now lost to her. She hadn’t had anyone for seven years. she had been alone all this time, and now he decides to show up randomly? Anger started flowing through her now. She didn’t know she could have so much disgust for one person built up inside her for so long. And she was just now realizing what he had done, and how he had betrayed her. The only person in her entire life who she had trusted completely. Her throat closed. She needed to get out of there. She just wanted to be able to breathe again. she could feel the tears stinging her eyes. Freya turned her back on him and sucked in the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding this whole time. After mindlessly grabbing her bag, she fled the fast food joint and lost herself in the sea of people walking by. She still couldn’t find her breath. She thought of everything, anything but Sam. But nothing came to her except his face and those piercing blue eyes peering into her own. A man bumped into her shoulder and because she was so caught off guard, she fell right to the ground. Her things went all over the place, but no one stopped to help her. Freya looked back frantically, hoping to not seem Sam coming her way. She wanted to run away. Anywhere would be fine. Anywhere but here. Somewhere far, far away where no one would ever find her. It was times like this that she wished she had somewhere to flee to. The only place she had now was home and work. She didn’t dare go back to the old meadow. Instead of thinking about where to go, she just picked up her bag and started walking away. That was when the tears began to flow down her face. [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Oh God. Oh sweet lord of all that was merciful. Having Freya in his arms, feeling her arms around him, that wasn’t something Sam had ever thought he’d feel. He was sure he had lost her the moment he ran from home. This had to be fake, a cruel dream. And Sam would wake up in some city in a crappy hotel room that smelled of mold and old cigarette smoke on a bed that felt as if its prime had been in the 1930s. It was typically how the happiest moments ended. Sam had lost count of how many times that had happened to him.

But this, this had to be different. It wasn’t just happy, it was perfect. Much too perfect for Sam to be able to dream up. He liked to believe he was a rather creative kid. He had been good at a number of things that required creativity, at least. But there was no way in hell he’d ever be able to come up with something as wonderful as what was happening right now. Her hazel eyes, her rosy lips, the curl of her soft, brown hair, her dazzling smile, the details were much too fine for Sam to conjure. He would have messed something up. Even a minute detail could have thrown the whole thing off, completely destroy it.

And then when Freya said Sam’s name, he figured he had actually died and managed to find his way to the pearly gates. He didn’t know what he had done to hear such a sweet word, and yet, there it was. Her voice was literally music to his ears, filling a desire that he hadn’t known was there. It was like a dehydrated man who finally found water. In fact, his senses were filled with her. He was drenched in her familiar scent. His attention was solely on her, so much in fact that Sam was entirely ignorant to the people in line behind him that were upset that he was holding up the line. It didn’t matter, not as long as Freya was right there.

That quickly changed though. In what seemed like the shortest second in Sam’s life, Freya was out of his arms and running out of Wendy’s. The hunter had no clue how to react. He had always prided himself on his quick thinking and speedy reflexes, and yet he stood here entirely dumbfounded, unable to react. Sam could hardly believe that Freya had been in his arms a moment ago. It had been such a quick interaction, one of those that you had to see or you wouldn’t have believed it happened. Sam himself was slightly doubtful that he hadn’t imagined the whole thing. The only thing that kept him from knowing it had actually happened was the warmth of where Freya had been and the lingering of her shampoo or perfume or whatever it was that Sam had smelled.

As silly as it sounded, it was the cashier saying they could help the next person that broke Sam out of his astonished state. It only took him a second more to sprint out of the Wendy’s, his eyes scanning the crowd for Freya. It was busying, seeing as how it was lunch time, but Sam had little trouble spotting Freya. He silently thanked his years of hunting, for once grateful. Without his trained sense, he probably wouldn’t have been able to find her as quickly and he had already lost time with his slow reaction in the Wendy’s.

Sam saw the man knock Freya over, saw everyone’s unwillingness to stop and help the poor girl who obviously needed it. Had he been closer, Sam wouldn’t have hesitated to stop the man and make him apologize or to stoop down and help Freya collect the contents of her bag. But Sam was still a little ways off. Even though his tall, muscular frame was on the leaner side, he couldn’t weave through people like Freya had. It was slower going for him, and by the time he reached the spot Freya had fallen, she was well ahead of him.

Freya had started to slow down and though Sam didn’t know why, he didn’t let this opportunity go to waste. He picked up his pace, grateful that the crowd had thinned the further they got from the center of town. The hunter reached Freya in a matter of seconds, taking large steps around her so he could stop in front of her and have them look face to face. Sam was entirely caught off guard by the tears; he hadn’t been expecting them at all. The sight of them broke his heart. He hated seeing Freya upset. That hadn’t changed. And he knew that they were his fault, even if he didn’t know why. A strong wave of self-loathing surged through him, but he pushed it away. There’d be time to deal with it later.

He had to stop the crying first. “Sweetheart,” Sam started, not even realizing he had let such a nickname slip past his lips. It came out as natural as saying her name would, but who knew how Freya would react. “Freya, what’s wrong?” He had to fix this. He wasn’t going to let her wander around in such a distressed state. Sam knew he had been gone for a long time, knew that this intrusion was most likely going to be unwelcomed. But for as long as he had been gone, he had never once stopped caring about her and she had to know that.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto]Why now? Why did the one person whom she was so lost without have to come and find her. He was one of the few people that could make her weep at the sight of them or smile that happy smile at the flick of a moment. He was someone who knew how to make her feel alright, but managed to make her want to cry at the same time. It was probably because she hadn’t seen him in what seemed like over a decade. Every sorrowful feeling she had ever felt, the abandonment, the death of her parents, the emptiness that overtook her when she found herself completely alone, everything came washing over her, making it hard to breathe. She had to slow her running down to catch her breath. She could barely breathe after being knocked down, but it only got worse with every step trying to get away from Sam. Why did she have to see him? She was so close to forgetting about him and blocking out the pain of missing him. She had never found anyone like him. There was no one in the world who she could think of the way she thought of Sam. He was someone she was able to talk to about anything and not be judged. He was the person who she would have gone to when her parents had died, except he was nowhere to be found. She would have gone to his house and cried for days, but someone had already bought the vacant house. Just something of his to remember him by other than the memories would have done better than nothing at all. But he had left without a trace and there was no way to get into contact with him or his brother. Really, she didn’t even know if she could have gone to his brother because he scared Freya. It was all in a flash when Sam stopped her and was in front of her. She quickly wiped the tears off of her face. When he called her sweetheart, they just came back again. They flowed down her cheeks uncontrollably and her heart squeezed in pain. Why did he have to call her that? After all this time, you’d think one word wouldn’t be able to break a girl’s heart, but it surely did. It broke it more than she thought it could and she wanted to run away again. But there was no way around Sam now that he was firmly in front of her. If he ran after her once, who’s to say he wouldn’t do it a second time. So she stayed in front of him now, trying her best to stop her tears streaming down her cheeks. What was wrong? How could he even ask such a question? He must know what was wrong or else he had forgotten the fact that he disappeared on her one day and never called, wrote, or texted. Not a single thing to make her think he was even alive! How could he ask her what was wrong? She almost wanted to hit him with the sudden anger that she felt surge through her body. But Freya wasn’t the kind of person to hit someone, even when she was furious. She was gentle and kind hearted. Something of a pacifist even. She had never felt this strongly about hitting someone, but she was so close to doing it to Sam. She opted for the second option, which was to try and speak instead. “You…” Her words were lost in her throat and she couldn’t even think of something to say. She knew that her anger was depleting and she wanted to go home and forget about ever seeing him again. there was another part of her that wanted to give in and just hug him until she could stop crying and just be with him again, but she would never be able to do that. She would probably never be able to feel the same connection with Sam as she had before. There would always be the question if he would suddenly disappear again, and if he did would he keep in touch? Or would he stay completely under the radar and be a ghost once again? She took a few deep, soothing breathes, wiped her cheeks again, and looked up into those icy blue eyes. “You left me. And now…” she sighed and once again couldn’t find her words. There was nothing really she could say to take back all those years. Nothing he could say could make him forgive him for what he did, but still, he was here now. Even if he hadn’t come looking for her once he had come back to Manuka, there was something about him standing right in front of her that made her want to just wrap her arms around his neck and forgive him. Still, she couldn’t do that. She knew he probably hated himself enough for doing such a thing, and she didn’t want that. Even if her forgiveness wouldn’t come for a long time, she could never hate Sam. He was everything she was not, the orange to her apple. It was one of the things she loved so much about him. “Why’d you do it, Sam?” she found herself asking. She had a right to know, and she was so interested to know what it was that had taken him away from her. And why he had never came back looking for her. He knew all along where she was, but it was impossible to go looking for him. There were too many people and places in the world to be able to track someone like Sam down. So why hadn’t he come back? [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Every word stabbed like a knife. Sam had left her. It might not have been his intentions, but it was the reality of the situation. He hated it, hated that she had gotten tangled into his mess like this. Freya was never supposed to be effected by his brother’s mess up that had gotten their family killed, and yet Sam had screwed that up. This was why he shouldn’t be allowed to even see her anymore. He could only cause her more hurt. And the worst part was that he couldn’t do anything to make it up. A simple sorry couldn’t erase the years that he was gone, couldn’t adequately make it up to Freya. So instead he stayed quiet and allowed Freya to continue, her words biting him more than she probably intended them to.

Why’d he do it? That was such a loaded question; it almost wasn’t fair of Freya to ask. Well really, it wasn’t a fair question for either of them. Because Sam couldn’t give Freya the answer she deserved without throwing her entire world on a tilt. He wanted to tell her the truth and she needed to hear it. Every single word of it. But how could Sam consciously make the choice to completely destroy her notion of being safe? Sure, some would say that people had to know what was out there and it was the responsibility of those who knew to share. Sam though, he had never understood that theory. He’d prefer for Freya to live in an ignorant bliss than tell her she had to look over her shoulder every five seconds. If she could avoid that kind of life, then it was for the better.

If he told her one thing, he’d have to tell her everything. Freya would need every piece to the puzzle in order to understand. She’d need to know that his brother had gotten mixed up with the wrong types of people and that those people had ended up being vampires. She’d also have to know that those vampires were what murdered his family and because of the state he had been in when he found their bodies, he hadn’t been able to think logically. Instead of going to her, he ran away. And well, once he got tangled up in the supernatural world, he was stuck. Sam couldn’t sleep well at night knowing those monsters were out and about and that was one of the reasons he had to become a hunter. He couldn’t let innocent people go through what he did.

But hunting always had its risks. Occupational hazards, if you would. The most obvious was the dying factor. He put himself in danger almost constantly and that was bound to catch up with him some day. More importantly though, were the times he messed up and pissed someone off, especially if it was one of the revengeful types. He was afraid his work would follow him home, so to speak. And he’d get other people mixed up in something they shouldn’t have had any part in. Sam had seen it happen to some of his friends before and that was one of the many reasons he liked to keep himself distanced from people. It was also the biggest factor as to why Sam hadn’t returned home until now. He couldn’t even begin to imagine putting Freya in danger. She was much too kind of a soul and entirely unaware and much too precious. The hunter would rather die than put her within 100 mile radius of danger. Sam couldn’t put Freya in that position; he’d kill himself if anything happened to her.

Of course, he could tell her any of this. Not only would it be violating the whole “keep the innocent, innocent” rule he liked to follow, it’d also cause her to think he was certifiably insane and lock him up somewhere. You didn’t just believe that vampires and demons and mermaids were real. In most of Sam’s experiences, people had to be exposed to those types of things in order for them to believe it. Kind of like having to see something to believe it or whatever. So Freya would have absolutely no reason to believe him. Which left Sam with coming up with an explanation off the top of his head.

Sam couldn’t lie to her. He absolutely couldn’t. She needed better than that and after all he had put her through and all the mistakes that he could never adequately apologize for, he couldn’t add lying to the list. He’d have to go with half-truths, tell her the parts of the story he could without revealing too much. It wasn’t really all that much better of an idea than flat out lying, but maybe it could redeem him a little bit. He wasn’t lying for the sake of lying, after all, but to keep her safe. If he thought the truth could do that, he wouldn’t hesitate to tell her every little detail. But that wasn’t the case and he’d do the best he could do.

“Freya, I’m so sorry.” Sam had to start it like that, despite the fact that the sorry was useless. He had to at least get it out there. Show he was trying. Because even if the words were useless, the look in his eyes and the way he held himself reflected how deeply regretted everything. That had to count for something, right? “You know I wasn’t in the right mind when I walked in and saw…” the hunter let the sentence trail off, unable to say when he saw his family dead. Even after all these years, it was a painful memory for him. Freya would still understand. “I never meant to leave you. I swear. I wasn’t thinking right. Impaired judgment. And then after I had been gone, I was afraid to come back. I didn’t know what you’d think of me. I thought you’d hate me. And I couldn’t take that, Freya,” Sam rambled. All of it was true. Not a single word of it was false. It was just missing very important parts.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto]Her mind was racing. One of the most important people to her in the world was here, standing perfectly healthy in front of her with one of the saddest expressions on his face. She noticed that he had gotten laugh lines and some stubble on his chin, but other than that he looked just the same. He was still the giant goof ball under those worried eyes. Some part of her didn’t want to be here with him because she had just almost forgotten about everything—not just him leaving her, but also what had happened to both of their families. She knew it was too late and that now that she had seen him again she would only want to see more of him and make sure he was alright. A part of Freya would always hate what he did, but the more rational side of her knew that he was only doing it to stay sane. She couldn’t flat out hate Sam. He was the only piece of family she had left. Since they were kids she had thought of Sam as a part of her family. Not as a brother or a cousin even, but close enough to be a part of her. She couldn’t explain it, but Freya knew that she would end up forgiving him and moving forward. She didn’t want to be stuck in the past forever, and half of moving on was letting Sam be in her life again. He might not have looked for her when he had gotten back to Manuka, but that was probably because he thought she wouldn’t want him to be back. She knew her question was probably a little much, but she couldn’t help but ask. If she never found out the truth then she would always be left wondering if there was something that she could have done to keep him here instead of running off. But when he looked at her and said he was sorry, she knew she had already forgiven him. Freya couldn’t hold grudges, especially when the person saying they were sorry was Sam. Even if she hadn’t seen his big blue eyes filled with regret, she would have forgiven him in an instant. Those blue eyes got Freya into so much trouble. Just one look and she would know what he wanted to do. Just one look and she would be sucked into another random activity with Sam. Freya knew how hard it was to talk about your past. She always got a little choked up and saw the images of her family rush through her mind like a nightmare that never ended. She wondered if Sam had the same thing happen to him. But she had seen his parents dead, too. They were just as much a part of her own family as her parents were to her but for some reason she hardly ever saw the images of them flash through her mind. It was always just her own parent’s dead bodies lying on the floor of their bedroom with blood pools under them. She took a deep breath and sighed it out silently to try to make them not start up. She took his hand in hers and squeezed it lightly when he trailed off his sentence. She knew what he meant. She knew how hard it could have been for him, simply because it had happened to her as well. Freya didn’t want him to make it all his fault. She knew she could have done something to stop him….right? She could have been there for him before he up and left. She could have run after him instead of rushing home to her parents. There was always something to do. Sam could do this to himself, she wouldn’t let him. When he explained to her why he had gone, she understood. She wanted so badly to leave when her family had died that she had even packed up a bag. It was child services that had stopped her. she was actually glad she hadn’t left, because she didn’t know if she could have survived out in the world without anything to her name other than some clothes. She would never have found such a perfect job with a perfect boss like she had now. And she would have never found Sam again. She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and looked up into those eyes that she missed so much. “Sam…it’s okay. I get it, really I do,” she said. She couldn’t take it anymore. Freya dropped his hand and put her arms around his waist. “I could never in a million years hate you, Sam, you know that,” I’ll always love you. she thought. She didn’t know why she couldn’t say it out loud, but she kept it to herself. She sighed a little into his shirt. She hadn’t hugged him in forever and she didn’t want to let go just yet. Instead, she would rather hold onto him forever. Freya looked up at him, still with her arms about his waist, and said, “I missed you a lot.” She smiled at him. She didn’t want him to think that she wouldn’t forgive him. “So what did you do when you left?” It was something that she had always wondered. When she lay in bed at night, she would always wonder where he was and if he was safe. She always though that he would do well on his own and keep himself safe, but there was always something that worried her. He had obviously kept safe after all of these years, and she was glad that there wasn’t even a scratch on him. there were a few more scars than she remembered, but other than that he was the same. She couldn’t wait to hear of his adventures out in the world. One where she would probably never venture out in alone. Manuka was her safe haven and she didn’t want to leave for fear of the bad that could happen. It might seem a little ridiculous, but she was scared to leave home. [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

One of Sam’s fears was that Freya would hate him and would never forgive him for what he had done. He wouldn’t have blamed her; not in the least sense. She was entirely justifiable in that train of thought, as far as Sam was concerned. He was entirely sure that he would hate himself, if he was in Freya’s situation. What kind of person just up and left the only person they still had left in the world to care about? Even if Sam had had his reasons, so what? That didn’t excuse him from being a poor excuse for a human being.

But Sam hadn’t even realized how big the fear was until Freya actually told him that she couldn’t hate him. Not only that, but that she couldn’t ever hate him. It felt like the hunter had let go of a huge breath he had been holding. The wave of relief that had washed through him was almost unreal. And could he be blamed? Those had to be some of the best words he had ever heard spoken. While he still felt awful and guilty for leaving – he didn’t think he’d ever be able to fully shake himself of that – he was a little happier knowing that Freya could forgive him.

A weight had been lifted off his shoulders and now he could worry a little bit less. Maybe this could even go back to normal. Or well, normal enough, because as much as Sam hated to admit it, he could never be normal again. He knew too much about the truth of what was out there and had gotten himself in enough trouble because of it. The first sight of Freya had made Sam regret becoming a hunter almost instantly. That ruined any chance of settling down here in Manuka and with her (another thing Sam had realized he wanted). The desire to bury his past had never been so strong, but it was still impossible. Though maybe now was not the time to think about it. Not when Freya was wrapping her arms around his waist.

Sam hadn’t cried in a long time, not since he had found his family dead, but now the urge was strong. Him and Freya standing here together was even better than he could have dreamed. That was the only reason he knew this was all real and happening, after all. So the hunter quickly returned the hug and rested his chin on the top of her head. Sam closed his eyes, thinking he’d be content with staying like this for the rest of time. He wouldn’t leave her side, ever, he mentally promised himself, knowing it’d be nearly impossible to keep that promise with his profession. Sam would still try his hardest, despite that.

Of course they had to move though, so Sam lifted his head as he felt Freya fidget ad he moved back just far enough so he could look down at her clearly. God, she was so beautiful. He had had the thought before but now it hit him hard enough to almost knock the air out of him. He’d be surprised if Freya didn’t have a boyfriend. Sam really had no right to be jealous of the hypothetical boyfriend he was building in his mind, but he was. It was such a strong, it was ridiculous. The kid should really be happy with hypothetical boyfriend for helping Freya return her life to normal, but he didn’t think he could.

But Sam quickly pushed the thought away. Freya was saying she missed him and was giving him that smile he loved. Score stood as Sam: 1, Hypothetical Boyfriend: 0. Take that, sir. But oh, then she was asking him questions that he didn’t want to answer. Naturally, she was curious. Anyone would be when someone randomly showed up in your life after almost a decade of missing. Still, he couldn’t give her the answers he wanted or ones that she’d believe. Yet, he couldn’t leave her questions left unanswered, especially when she was looking up at him with that face. Well, looked like he’d have to go back to half-truths and not quite lies. Fuck. So Sam was stuck.

“Um, well, I’ve been traveling all around the continental US.” There. Good enough. Sounded touristy, even though Sam had been doing anything but touring the US with a camera and fanny pack. “And you know, I picked up odd jobs here and there.” Odd could definitely be used to describe his work but Freya didn’t have to know that said jobs typically only lasted for a couple of days and didn’t pay anything. The hunter didn’t necessarily have to tell her that he ran credit card scams to get money or that he occasionally stole from his “acquaintances” that had much too much money for their own well-being. Nope. Didn’t need to know. “Got to stay in some pretty crappy motels. Slept in my car from time to time. The whole experience.” Well at least that part was 100% true.

Enough about him though. He wanted to know more about what had happened to Freya in the past 10 years. It was arguably more interesting to him and it didn’t require lying. Or at least, he didn’t think it’d require lying unless Freya suddenly had a dark, hidden past she didn’t want to discuss with him. “So what about you, huh?” Sam asked, his blue eyes locked on hers. “I’m honestly surprised in Manuka still.” She should be off in New York or California or somewhere with a big, famous art gallery. Not here in little old Manuka. It really was where she deserved to be and Sam had hoped she would. He was finding himself insanely curious about what exactly had held Freya back.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto] She could practically feel the relief washing over Sam’s face. Even if Freya couldn’t hate Sam, she could still feel something else, and that was the slightest bit of disappointment. Her disappointment came from the fact that he was here in Manuka and he hadn’t come looking for her. And even when he wasn’t here, she was worrying about him in the wee hours of the night and wishing he were there with her again instead of out alone in the world without her where she couldn’t keep her eyes on him and make sure he was alright. She hated not knowing about how he was every night and wondering if he was even still alive by that night. She had wrinkle lines in her forehead already forming from sitting up in bed at night playing different scenes over and over in her head. Back then she didn’t have a cell phone, so there was no way she could just call him up to make sure he was alive. It was amazing to her that he was breathing. She was glad that he was. And she was even more joyous that he was right here in front of her. She could let go of the disappointment she had felt. It wasn’t like she could feel anything but love for Sam after seeing him for more than a few minutes. Right now she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and hold onto him tightly so he could never disappear again. If he did, she didn’t know what the heck she would do. The only thing she had left in Manuka was her job, her few coworkers, and her house. If she didn’t have such a great job, she would have left Manuka much more quickly. She could have gone somewhere like a small town out west where no one knew her and no one would bother her. There had always been a little bit more than just her job keeping her there, and she hadn’t known it until now that it was the slight chance of ever seeing Sam again. It hit her like a brick wall. The only reason she would ever stay in this town after the things that occurred in her life was that this was the only place that Sam knew where she might be. If she left, she’d lose him forever. If she left Manuka, they’d never know where to look. There was literally the entire world to look through, which was a little too big for one man to search even if she were to stay in literally one place for the rest of their lives. So she was glad that she was here, in his arms, which were the most comforting things she had felt in a decade. She looked up and his sketched features and icy blue eyes with a small smile. She bit the inside of her cheek and wondered what it was like to travel all over the world—or even the Us of A. she had always wanted to travel, but she had never gotten the chance. If she did one day get the chance to go, she would really like to go to France. She had wanted to go there since she was a kid and wanted to explore the museums and visit the Eiffel Tower. It would be magical to have dinner on a starry night under the moon and Christmas lights with the one person she loved. But those were all just fantasies that she’d probably never tell another soul, not even Sam. It was a little embarrassing to have so much love for someone who she hadn’t even spoken to in ten years. He still seemed so much the same. He still had the wit that she wished she possessed and that glorious way in which he made her feel like she was the only person on earth that existed even though there were literally hundreds of people walking around them along the street. Freya smiled a little at Sam and laced her fingers together on his back. “Did you ever go to California?” she asked curious to know what it was like over there compared to Manuka. She wondered if they had as great of…everything as they seemed to show on what little television she watched. For some reason everything was either set in California or Florida, and she wanted to know what it was like to live with beaches everywhere. Freya laughed a little when he told her that he had to stay in some crappy motels on his journey. The memory of their family vacations with the Holbrook family came to mind. Once they had to sleep in a raggedy Motel 8 and when they pulled the sheets back on the bed there were hundreds of little roaches crawling all over the place. Freya had been so frightened that she had thrown up. But Sam had taken her out of the room and comforted her enough to get her to go back inside and get her things so they could go to a different hotel. That was the first night that their parents let them sleep in the same bed together so that Freya would feel calmer. She was just nine years old back then. She asked him about it in a soft voice. “Were they as bad as the one over in Colorado that time we went to the mountains? Remember when there were roaches all in the beds and I had to sleep in your bed at a completely different hotel?” she laughed lightly at the memory again. She finally broke eye contact with him and loosened her grip around his waist when she started to answer his question about her past ten years. She didn’t know where to begin really. “Well I mean… I don’t know. I’m still at Lawson & Miller where I’ve been for quite a while. I’ve worked there five years. Um…” she thought about what there was to tell him. She wasn’t sure that he knew about her parents dying, so she figured she’d better tell him in case he didn’t know. “But a few weeks after you left… my parents… they died. They got murdered. The cops said it was really similar to the way your parents died, too. They said it could have even been the same animal.” Her voice cracked a little so she cleared her throat. ‘I’ve been on my own since then.” I wish you would have been here for me… Those were the worst nights she had ever been through without Sam. “I couldn’t leave,” she whispered. “I couldn’t.” Freya looked up at Sam with tears in her eyes and bit the inside of her cheek again to try to keep herself from crying. She took a deep breath and tightened her hands around Sam again. She couldn’t imagine what could be going through his mind… [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

California? That was what Freya wanted to know about? It seemed random in Sam’s mind but hell, he’d be content standing like this for the rest of time, her in his arms while he told her everything she wanted to hear. Well, almost everything because there certain topics and details that needed to be glossed over for her sake, but other than that, Sam would gladly answer her every question she asked. “I was in California once or twice,” he said, trying to recall the exact places but finding himself unable to. He had never had the greatest memory. “Never near the beaches. I was always a good distance from the coast.” That much Sam was certain of. He wasn’t quite sure of the last time he had been on a beach, much less a vacation of sorts. It was always go, go, go with him.

But Freya was bringing up a vacation they had taken when they were younger and that was bringing back good traveling memories. He couldn’t stop the smile that the memory brought. “Most of them were, yeah. I didn’t really have the luxury of nice hotels.” He took what he got and in most cases he had very little option. But that vacation had been different. Sam could remember the awful hotel and the fact that they had to change hotels completely. More importantly though, that was the night Sam had realized he loved Freya. Maybe not at a conscious level but deep down, he knew he wasn’t seeing her as just a friend anymore. And he liked protecting her too. Sure, it had always been something Sam knew he was capable of doing and that he’d never ever want to see Freya upset. He had known that from the time he was little. But that time, she was actually, really relying on him and while Sam didn’t typically handle responsibility well, he had treated that as if it was a life or death situation. So while maybe the whole vacation might have been a bust, it was probably one of his happiest memories and one he didn’t mind hearing about again. Though the happy bubble soon burst with a turn towards a more upsetting topic.

That’s it. It was 100% official. Sam was an awful person. How could he have not been there when Freya needed him most? He knew what it was like to go through that, and to have to be entirely alone? Sam was going to go straight to hell for this kind of shit. He’d done a lot of awful stuff in his life time, but this by far had to be the lowest. And there was nothing he could say to make it any better. He knew that from experience. The worst of it was all that he didn’t even have a good excuse to not be there because in all reality, what had he been doing? Selfishly trampling around the United States because he had thought that the worst thing that could ever happen to anyone in the world had happened to him and if he ran from the problem, he’d be okay. And after Sam had realized that that wasn’t the least bit true, he hadn’t had enough courage to come home and admit his childish mistake.

He wished he would have given Freya a phone number to call or some way to contact him, but what would that have done? Most likely very little. Sam had practically dropped off the face of the earth the first year or two he had been on his own. Literally dropped off. He had stayed out of well-populated areas and stuck to himself without a clue of what to do. Even if Freya had had a number, he doubted he would have been anywhere near that phone. It would have taken weeks for him to get any kind of message from her. On the other hand, he could have – and should have – called her. He had had the ability to do that and just hadn’t.

Sam wanted there to be a way to make all of this better, but he knew that wasn’t possible. He didn’t have the ability to go back in time and quit being a stupid prick. No one did. He couldn’t even help her now. Not really. The kind of damage that experience caused was already done. Freya was going to have to deal with it for the rest of her life. The best he could do was stick around – something he had already planned to do – and even that wouldn’t do enough. If he hadn’t been so selfish in the first place, maybe she’d be okay.

Except now there was going to be tears and the sight of it broke the hunter’s heart. He couldn’t stand that. Never had and never would. It had killed him since they were little kids. And Sam would do anything to make the tears go away. He rested his chin on the top of her head and, keeping one arm wrapped around her waist, rubbed her back soothingly. “It’s okay now, baby,” Sam promised, not really knowing if it was or not. Him just being there wasn’t going to replace the void she felt nor could he promise that everything would be peachy keen from now on either. Still, he figured if he said the words with conviction, he could somehow make them come true, right? He’d try for her.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto] What were the chances that she would run into him here? She couldn’t possibly know, but she did know that she was more than lucky. Now that her emotions were more in check and she didn’t feel like crying, she knew it was more than just a chance that they should meet in a Wendy’s after ten years of being apart. It was fate or destiny, whatever you wanted to call it. Finally she felt like something in her life was going right, other than her job. She was glad to finally see him again because she needed someone to be there for her once again. Freya felt so alone in this giant town sometimes that she wondered if it would be a good idea to just move away. But then she thought about how much she would miss this place and how hectic it would be to move. So she had stayed here. She couldn’t face moving away to another town where she’d be just as lonely. Manuka at least had people she knew and a steady job she knew she’d never lose. Still there was something that was gnawing at her and she couldn’t figure out exactly what it was. She tried not to think about it, but it just kept coming back up over and over again. She kept it to herself and sighed gratefully when Sam started talking more about his adventures in California. It was so much further than Freya had ever thought Sam would go. Thousands of miles away he was off doing God knows what and had worried Freya to the point where at one point she had thought he was dead. She couldn’t fathom how grateful she was that he was safe right now here in her arms. It was where she had longed him to be since the day he had left. And here he was looking grown up and manly. She knew deep down in her heart that there was always a chance of him leaving again so she had to try to distance her heart from the situation, but she absolutely could do no such thing. She had loved him more deeply than she had any other human throughout her twenty something years. He was the only person she had ever been able to count on when she was younger and now he was back. She couldn’t help stoop back into that same feeling of complete love and satisfaction. “Why weren’t you near the beaches?” she asked. The beaches were the talk of the town in California. Half the reason people went there was for the beaches and beautiful white sand. It was the same for Florida as well. If she were to go to California, she would have gone straight to the beach with a bottle of sunscreen and a nice big sun hat to shade her pale face. She hadn’t been on a real vacation since she was little. Her boss tried to force her to take time off, but Freya wouldn’t do it because she had nowhere to go. She would be like a sitting duck in her house doing absolutely nothing. She wouldn’t want to spend the money she had been saving since she got the job because it was for emergencies only so a vacation was out of the picture. Though once Mr. Lawson had bought her a trip to New York to go to some museums with a client because he knew how much she loved them and she had never been to New York. She thought of it as more of a business trip since they were actually on business throughout the weekend. Only one day was dedicated to touring around and going to museums, which she had enjoyed very much. Freya shrugged and looked at him. “That’ll happen when you don’t have a lot of money,” she said. After she told him of her life after he left, she bit the inside of her cheek to try to hold back her tears. She dug her head into his chest and breathed deeply. She hadn’t cried about her parent’s death in a very long time and she didn’t want to start again now. She closed her eyes and listened to him tell her it would be okay. She believed him. How could she not? Freya closed her eyes and thought only about good things, things that would take her mind off of her parents and their tragic death. Freya sighed. “It is now that you’re here again,” she said mostly to herself. Freya kept her arms around his waste and looked up at Sam once again. “You’re not going to leave again are you?” she asked with the slightest hint of fear in her voice. If he left her again after only such a short time of seeing him she didn’t know what she would do or how mad she would be at him. She couldn’t imagine how pissed she would be or if the sadness would overwhelm her so much that she wouldn’t even notice it. But that time would come she supposed, since he had left once before. Who was to say he wouldn’t do it again? Freya needed to keep reminding herself of that just in case it ever did happen again. [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Simple small talk like why Sam hadn’t gone to the beach almost made things feel normal. If he pretended really, really hard, he could almost picture himself being just plain old human. Not a hunter seeking revenge or a person that knew too much about the secret supernatural world. No. Just human, like he was meant to be. Like how he would have grown up if his brother hadn’t made the dumb, selfish trade that had put the entire family at risk. It was nice, imagining a situation like that. It almost could be that way, too. With Freya, he never ever had to mention the supernatural. They’d never come up in conversation. He could almost pretend that they didn’t exist anymore.

Except the true answer to her question involved them. That was the problem. Sam was into that world way too deep to ever pull himself out of it. He could try to, of course. He could completely forsake his old ways and live an easy peasy, apple pie life. But in his experience, that never turned out well. Every former hunter he had met that had chosen that route ended up dead one way or another. You couldn’t just renounce your entire past and expect it to leave you alone. Sam knew that, especially when such a simple question like “why not the beach?” involved them. “Never could find work there.” True enough. Most of the supernatural he was hunting out in California never went near the beach. Even if a case had brought him all the way out to the Pacific Ocean, it wasn’t like he’d be able to take a day off and just hang out all day there.

And he couldn’t even keep the conversation on a light note, like a person should be able to. The hunter hated seeing Freya sad. He shouldn’t have asked about how her life had been since they last talked. Sure, there was no way of him knowing exactly the tragedy that Freya had gone through after he left, but he still wished he hadn’t asked. Clearly, it just made Freya upset and he had already done enough upsetting her to last a lifetime. His one arm tightened around her waist as she buried her head in his chest and her ran a hand up and down her back in a soothing manner, hoping to get her to calm down a bit or help disperse the bad memories a little. She didn’t need to think about those right now.

At least it seemed like Freya was able to pull herself together and Sam doubted it was because of his help. She had always been a strong girl, whether or not she believed it, and as awful as the story about her parents had been, Sam knew Freya would get through it. Still didn’t stop him from wanting to comfort her, from making all the bad things go away so Freya would just be happy for forever. He knew a lot of the bad stuff that happened to her was his fault too, which made him feel insanely guilty. That fact was confirmed when Freya said things would be better now that he was here. If he had been here from the start, maybe things would have been okay.

But if Sam had already thought his heart was broken, the next question completely shattered him. Especially the tone in Freya’s voice. That was the final blow. “Of course not,” Sam said. “Especially not without telling you exactly where I’m going.” As foreign as staying in one spot sounded to Sam, he was going to do it for Freya. He didn’t think he had the willpower to leave her again, in all honesty. He had only been able to do it before because the grief of his family’s death had clouded pretty much every other concern in Sam’s brain. Without that, he couldn’t picture ever willingly leaving Freya, despite how dangerous it could be for a hunter to stay in one spot.

It wasn’t impossible, though. Sam knew that. If it were, then there wouldn’t be the Radicals, the huge network of hunters. As much Sam didn’t always agree with their methods, he knew he had them to watch his back. And he had hunters he trusted unconditionally, like Cason, to rely on. He doubted Cas was going anywhere soon either, considering he had been rather head over heels for a certain girl for a long while. No, he could make staying in Manuka work. For Freya’s sake, at the very least. He couldn’t be the cause of her tears again. It’d kill him.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto] Freya trusted Sam with all her heart. He had never done anything before to give her a reason not to trust him (other than leave her at the worst time in history) but still, even after that, she couldn’t help but see the truth in his eyes. Freya thought his answer was good enough and she nodded knowingly. She would have loved to go to the beach one day when it wasn’t so frigid outside. She really liked the beach except every time she went she always got sunburn on her nose and ears and under her eyes. She did miss going on family vacations with Sam’s family. So she perked up a little and said, “We should go to the beach some time then since you missed out,” she smiled shyly as slight blush shaded her cheeks. It wasn’t as big of a deal now as it had been a few years ago, but thinking about her family was still heartbreaking. The only family she had in the entire world was standing right in front of her and she had never realized this because she made herself not think about it, but she was pretty much all alone in the world. She knew that she had her coworkers and her boss as friends, but she never went and did anything with them or hung out. Most of the time when she was home she was by herself and she didn’t do much of anything. Freya didn’t mind it though; she liked being in solitude. But thinking about her family now, picturing those awesome images again while being in front of Sam, it was once again heart wrenching and she couldn’t help but tear up. Freya didn’t want him to blame himself though like she knew he would. Somehow he’d put the weight on his own shoulders when he hadn’t even known about it. She didn’t blame Sam for running away, she just wished he hadn’t, especially at that certain time. She had always known how to push away her feelings. She was more like a man in that certain aspect, but then again Freya didn’t really have a crazy amount of emotion on a regular basis like most women anyways. She only ever felt a sense of loneliness, but even that was gone with Sam here now. He always had a way of making her smile and think of good things before and it was still there now because the moment of sadness was all but gone when she looked up at his face. It wasn’t that she was some tough girl or that she was strong; Freya was just easily made happy when Sam was around. She couldn’t look at him and hold any anger or sadness and that was what always drew her to him. Just thinking of him leaving again made her panic. Her heart finally calmed down when he told her that he wasn’t leaving. She sighed with relief and threw her arms around him again because she honestly couldn’t help herself. “Thank goodness because if you did I’d just have to run after you.” She laughed a little into his shoulder and squeezed him tightly. There wasn’t anything in the world right now that could bring down how utterly happy she was right now. All she could do was smile and hug Sam. This moment couldn’t be any better except for maybe one thing. But Freya had never been good at showing her emotions let alone acting on them. If she had the guts, she’d kiss him right now and just do it because that’s exactly what she wanted to do. She had always wanted to when she was younger, but she was afraid that it would ruin their friendship. She thought now that maybe if she had done it before he never would have left, but she’d never know. It was the never knowing that was worse than anything, but her fear of rejection from Sam was crippling. Just the thought of him saying no made her heart jump to her throat. But then she thought of the regret and that was even worse. So Freya did what she thought was the better of the two. And if Sam did reject her then they’d just leave it at that and stay friends because they would always be friends no matter what. So Freya took a deep, courageous breath and pulled back from the hug just enough to put her hand on his cheek and lean in for the kiss she had been waiting for for over a decade. [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Sam smiled as Freya mentioned the beach, thinking a vacation would be nice. Especially with her. He couldn’t remember the last time he had had an actual break. As a hunter, you rarely got one. It seemed like you had to always watch your back 24/7. But he could pretend to be average for once, at least when Freya was involved. “We should definitely go to the beach,” Sam agreed. He wasn’t able to really say much more though because the blush spreading across Freya’s cheeks instantly distracted him. Oh god, she was so beautiful. Well, she always was. But there was something about the blushing that just got his heart pounding like crazy. Though in a few moments, it was about to begin to race.

Freya’s kiss was unexpected and wonderful all that the same time. See, kissing Freya had been something on the back of his mind for as long as he could remember. The hunter could remember being little kids and thinking that Freya was the most magnificent thing on the planet. Honestly, they probably could’ve had one of those cute little kid kisses if Sam’s older brother hadn’t told him girls had cooties. But at that point in Sam’s life, Tyler knew everything and Sam wasn’t about to risk cooties (even if he had no clue what they were). By the time he was old enough to realize that girls, in fact, did not have cooties, he was old enough to worry about wrecking their friendship. Freya had always been one of the most important things in the kid’s life. He had seen so many great friendships turn to shit after two people started dating and Sam couldn’t risk losing her.

After he had ran away, Sam had figured he had missed his chance. He never planned on coming back to Manuka, at least not permanently. And the hunter had figured that by the time he came back, everything would be different. There’d be no more people here who would remember the Holbrook kid who had disappeared. He certainly didn’t think he’d see Freya again. Sam liked to picture her happy, though he almost always got irrationally jealous at the imagined other half. Still, he did try to tell himself that he shouldn’t be simply because he had been too slow and too scared to do anything when he was around Freya.

So never in a million years would he have expected this kiss, even though she was standing right in front of him. Sam had just kind of assumed she would’ve moved on, if she ever had feelings for him to begin with. He wasn’t about to mess up the reunion by scaring her off like that. Instead, though, Freya took the initiative and Sam instantly responded. One hand moved to cup the back of Freya’s head while his other arm stayed around her waist, tightening to draw her as close as possible. He waited until the last possible second to pull away and even then he didn’t move far. The hunter rested his forehead against the girl’s meeting her eyes as best he could despite the fuzziness of being so close. A huge smile spread across his face. It was literally impossible to hide how happy he was.

“Freya,” Sam murmured, loving the feeling of her name on his lips (especially just kissed lips). He took a couple seconds before continuing, not wanting to disrupt that little moment of perfection. But finally he did, unable to really keep his words in. “I’ve missed you so much,” he repeated, despite the fact that she already knew that. He had to throw it out there again. He really had. And Sam couldn’t believe that this was what he had been missing for the past decade.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]

[FREYA LAYANA WILBORNE]

i'm waiting some kind of miracle

[atrb=border,0,true] [style=width: 250px; height: 290px; padding: 0px 5px 0px 5px; font-family: calibri; font-size: 11px; text-align:justify; color: #333; line-height: 99%; overflow: auto] When his smile spread across his lips, Sam’s eyes seemed to brighten with them. Heir intense blue color always made her slightly jealous because her own eyes had never been that vibrant and beautiful. It was one of the most beautiful things about her best friend other than the great singing voice he had. He sometimes would sing to her to make her feel better, but the days of him singing to her were long gone. She had dreamt of him singing to her again, but it hadn’t happened for years now. Freya wondered if his voice was still just a pretty as it used to be or if it had changed whatsoever. It was probably one of the many things about him that had changed in the past decade. Most of what changed Sam she could tell was for the better. He was even more protective than before, she could tell already. It made her feel safer than even before. She had alwas loved the way she felt around him, the way he could make her feel like nothing could touch her even in the most dire circumstances. She wished she could feel like this all the time or wished, rather, that she could have Sam by her side al the time. If it were up to her, she’d never let him go. Going to the beach with Sam seemed like the most wonderful idea either of them had ever come up with. She could really use a nice vacation and get away from everything in this city. Her boss had been trying to get her to go away somewhere, but she didn’t want to go alone. Now that she had Sam to go with, maybe it was possible. The idea seemed wonderful, so she asked with a bright smile, “When can we leave?” Freya bit her lip a little and looked wonderingly into his blue eyes as her cheeks blushed lightly. And then she finally did it. The kiss she had wanted to give him for a decade, maybe longer, had finally happened. It was like the earth stood still for a solid minute as their lips touched. Her heart stammered in her chest when he brought her closer to him. When the two finally parted, her eyes stayed closed for a moment to revel in the kiss that had all but made her weak in the knees. She licked her lips and parted them as she opened her eyes, blinking them a little to focus. Sam put his forehead onto hers and she smiled. Sam spoke, saying her name and her heart skipped a little just listening to him say her name. She had never felt this intense about someone after so long of not seeing them. A laugh bubbled out of her lips and a tear rolled down her cheek. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tightened her grip around him. “I missed you too, Sam,” she said. “I don’t ever want you to ever go away again because I love you so much.” Freya closed her eyes again and squeezed his neck before pulling away and kissing him again, this time with more need and wanting than the sensual, sweet kiss. She felt herself lost in him completely like she was connected to him more than words could ever explain. She pulled away and said it again. “I love you, Sam.” A smile spread across her lips and wouldn’t go away. She felt a bubble rise in her chest and she laughed, loving that she could say the words to him. [/style]

[/style]

[style=width: 450px; background: #CCC; font-size: 8px; text-transform: uppercase; color: #000; letter-spacing: 1px]template by sophia. Graphic by jenn.

[/div][/center]

[SAMUEL RYDER HOLBROOK]

[style=height: 5px;]

[/style][style=font-family: georgia; font-size: 40px; font-style: italic; letter-spacing: -5px; color: 232D54; text-shadow: #000000 1px 1px 0px; line-height: 25px; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left:1px; text-align: left;]kings and queens of promise

INTO YOUR EYES HOPELESS AND TAKEN WE STOLE OUR NEW LIVES THROUGH BLOOD AND PAIN IN DEFENSE OF OUR DREAMS THE AGE OF MAN IS OVER A DARKNESS COMES AT DAWN- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Beach plans were already starting to form themselves in the hunter’s brain. He really couldn’t remember the last time he had been on a vacation, the last time he could totally relax and not worry about a thing. It had probably been since he was a kid and used to take trips with his family and Freya’s family. That was certainly a great amount of time. It’d be nice to get the chance to take time off, even if it was only for a little “As soon as possible,” Sam assured Freya with a small smile. It’d be a chance to gett to spend time just the two of them too, with no chance of real life interfering as well. Sam thought it’d be nice to get some uninterrupted time to catch up, since they certainly had a lot of that to do now. He didn’t have long to plan too much further though, because he was being distracted by Freya’s next sentence.

Sam literally could not believe the words he was hearing. Honestly, hearing Freya say that she missed him and that she wasn’t mad at him for disappearing for almost a decade? That was more than the hunter could’ve hoped to hear. Hell, it was way more than he could even begin to deserve. She should’ve been pissed at him, should’ve hated him for abandoning her for so long without even a word. It wasn’t like he hadn’t had the capability to do so. He could’ve, but he had thought it was better staying out of her life. And yet, here Freya was, proving to be the perfect person he always knew she was by not following that path.

But then Freya said she loved him and it was too much for Sam to take. He swore that if a heart could burst from happiness, his would’ve right then and there. The hunter didn’t deserve it at all. Not one bit. Part of him was almost sure he was just making it up entirely. “I swear I won’t ever leave you again,” Sam promised, responding only to that part of the sentence, since he still wasn’t quite sure if the other part of her sentence had really happened or not. He wasn’t about to jump the gun and say something that would freak her out if he could avoid it. Before he could worry about it, Freya was kissing him again, which Sam had no problem responding to.

And then she repeated it and Sam knew he couldn’t be making this up, as unbelievable as Freya’s words might’ve sounded. She was actually saying she loved him and it was the best thing Sam could ever hope to hear. Out of excitement and happiness, he lifted Freya’s feet off the ground and did a single spin. It was so cheesy, something out of one of those romantic comedy movies that Sam could never get the point of, but he thought now was an appropriate time to do so. After placing Freya back on her feet, Sam pulled her in as tight as he could, trying to eliminate as much space between them as possible. “Freya, I love you, too,” he responded, one of his hands coming up to cup the side of her face. “So much it’s unbelievable.” The hunter really didn’t have a clue how he could be so lucky but he wasn’t about to question it.

[/style][style= width: 200px; font-size: 09px; font-family: arial; padding: 5px; color: 6a6a6a;]thereisalieinperfection @ CAUTION 2.0

[/style]