the awkward pose! [CIRCE <3]

[DARBY GRACE ELLIS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] i'm gonna turn back time It wasn’t often that you found Darby wandering around on her own. Hell, it was more likely to see a monkey riding a unicycle down Main Street Manuka than it was to see Darby confidently strutting around by herself. Well, “strutting” might not be the right word, but there was a definite difference. Before, when Darby would go out on her own (which was quite rare, mind you, and almost always when she thought there would be few people) she’d walk around with her shoulders hunched, her head down, and earbuds stuffed in her ears. The girl made sure to stick to the edge of a crowd and that she did not draw attention to herself. It looked as if she was trying to completely disappear. And she might not still be all that confident enough to try to meet new people and make an effort to talk to everyone, but she was at the point where she could at least walk with her shoulders back and hold her head up high and not have a massive panic attack if she found herself in a sea of people. The firetamer gave all the credit to Ryden. Maybe it sounded silly – she was sure it did to other people – but she 100% believed it. Darby was comforted knowing that there was at least one person out there who would love her no matter what. He didn’t try to “pull her out of her shell” or force her into situations she wasn’t comfortable with in order to try to make her outgoing. He liked her the way she was and that in itself was enough to make Darby feel just a touch of confidence. The fallen angel probably didn’t even realize it, but Darby would be forever grateful of it. And in an attempt to practice with this new little bit of freedom, Darby decided she was going to go to the coffeehouse on her own. Alone. This was the first time she wasn’t going there with the intent to meet someone. She was planning on just sitting there, enjoying a coffee while she read her book or something. Besides, her last visit to the coffeehouse hadn’t been the most pleasant and she wanted to remind herself that that had just been a freak incident and not some bad mojo of the coffee shop or something because she really did love it there. It was all part of becoming more confident and everything, she told herself. So Darby walked to the coffeehouse with her newfound walk and entered the coffeehouse. Her conviction faulted a tiny bit when she realized that the coffee shop was fuller than she had thought it would be and had an itty bitty moment of panic before she convinced herself that at this point, it’d just be even stranger to turn around and walk out than it would be to just walk to the counter. The little firetamer pushed all thoughts of the other people out of her head and walked up to the barista, ordering her drink with minimal stutter. That was another improvement; you could actually understand Darby now without being attacked by a wave of stammered consonants and vowels. After receiving her coffee, Darby settled down in the corner of a booth, quickly immersing herself in a book. She had just reached a very interesting plot twist, after all. WORDS: ENOUGH . TAGGED: CIRCE/BLAKE <333 . OUTFIT: HERE

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[BLAKE NEIL LEWIS]

you know we can get away

[/font]
because i'm calling your name[/center]

There was no way in hell he was going to sit and have a family lunch. He sat in the backseat of the car, his arms crossed over his chest. Blake let out a frustrated sigh as Chase elbowed him really hard in the chest as she was wrestling with Trace. Blake leaned his head against the cool glass of the window, wishing to shut out all the voices. He pulled at the sleeves of his shirt, glancing over at Trace who was flicking Chase's ear. Blake had no idea why he couldn't see what a fake bitch she was. It was beyond him. She played that innocent role so well, he despised her for it. He felt another jab at his side and screamed at his sister, which instantly started up an argument. It wasn't anything new. His parents told him to shut up and that he was wrong, as always. Nothing Blake did was ever good enough for them.

He tried his best to hold back the angry tears as they pulled up to the restaurant. As soon as they stepped out of the car, he began to walk the opposite way of his family. Blake knew it would get him in a lot of trouble. He was just tired of them. Blake didn't even care anymore. He was way past caring. Blake knew his parents would just lecture him about how ungrateful he was and always did things for attention, when Chase was the epitome of those words. Blake started into a slow run, trying to get away from them. His father began to run after him, but lost his breath. Blake stopped a few blocks away from the restaurant, surveying where he was. He could just go back home. Blake was going to try and avoid going there for a few hours. He didn't even feel like going to Trace's. He'd just yell at him too.

Blake chewed on the inside of his cheeks, just wandering without really putting much thought into it. He pulled his phone out, putting it on silent. He already had three missed called from his brother. Blake slowed down his fast paced walking when the aroma of coffee filled his nose. He needed something to warm his numbness. Blake opened the door to the coffee shop and almost instantly regretted coming in. There was so many people. It was overwhelming. Blake's blue eyes scanned over all the unfamiliar faces. He walked toward the counter, quickly checking his wallet to see if he had enough money. Blake ordered just a black coffee with a few sugars. He nodded a thanks to the barista when he handed him his drink.

Blake sat at a table next to a few booths. He kept his eyes on his cup, waiting for it to cool down. Blake felt too anxious to look around him. He finally let his eyes look around the small shop and his stomach did a flip when he noticed a familiar girl in the booth across from him. Blake hadn't seen her in quite a few years and he even doubted she recognized him. He debated with himself whether to talk to her or not. What if she thought he was just a random dude trying to talk to her? She had graduated already, maybe she did forget. They had only talked briefly though, but Blake remembered it almost perfectly.

He barely socialized with other people, so the little moments he got to talk to others he remembered for quite awhile. Plus this girl had been the only person to ever acknowledge he was unhappy. Blake felt like his throat was closed up. He cleared his throat, trying his best to conjure up the courage to talk to her. All bad possibilities were running through his mind. Blake took in a breath and turned his body toward her."Um. You're Darby, right?" He tried his best to talk over the loud murmur."Not sure if you'll remember me, but I guess that's understandable." Blake let out an uncomfortable laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. He gripped his cup again, staring at it. Blake was only hoping she remembered him or that would just be fucked up.

Darby had been in the background one day when he had been getting beat up on. She only caught the end of it as he had crawled to the nearest wall and started to cry. Blood was all over his face and clothes. He wasn't sure she was being so shy because she was scared or that was just how she was, but the thing that he remembered was that she tried. No one ever did that. Not even his own family. Trace rarely noticed him when he was upset. He didn't want him to know how depressed he was. Trace already had enough to worry about and the rest of his family just didn't seem to care enough to pay attention. Blake gripped at the hot cup a little tighter and slowly released it, putting his hands in his lap and smiling shyly at Darby.

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[DARBY GRACE ELLIS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] i'm gonna turn back time The firetamer had never really realized how nice things like this could be. She rarely spent time alone without feeling entirely anxious and out of her element. If she didn’t have someone with her that she knew and trusted unconditionally, then she felt like she had to check over her shoulder constantly. Darby didn’t know why; it was just one of her weird little habits. But she was getting better, she really was. And sitting here at the coffee shop, not having to worry about looking to see what was around her or having to talk to a companion to keep them entertained so they didn’t get bored sitting there with her? It was wonderful, something Darby hadn’t quite known before. Or at least, it had been until someone that Darby recognized came into the coffee shop. Now don’t get her wrong; this wasn’t a reaction particularly reserved for this guy but for anyone that the girl knew by name and that was about it. She was always nervous around people who she recognized, afraid that they’d recognize her as well and want to chat about some neutral topic. Darby wasn’t good with small talk. At all. Especially with someone she barely knew. Her mind blanked and she had zero topics to talk about. Even if the other person did all the talking, Darby could never come up with a response. It was always either a “yeah?” or “uhuh” or a faked giggle. It was like her brain stalled and just refused to work, completely numbed by her anxiousness. And this kid? Well, he was probably the worst person. Not because of him, though. Oh no! It was more of how the two had interacted. It had been when Darby was still in high school, which felt like it should be such a long time but seeing his face brought back a fresh wave of awkwardness. See, back in high school, she had accidentally run into him being beat up. She couldn’t remember if it had been after school or during a class or something. All she could remember was that the halls and been empty and she was trying to hurry to wherever it was she was going. As she rounded the corner, she heard the sickening sounds of someone getting punched; fists hitting flesh and expressions of pain from whoever was on the receiving end. It froze Darby in her tracks, her heart breaking for whoever was in trouble but her cowardliness stopping her from going to do anything about it. She didn’t know how to stand up to bullies. The girl was lucky enough she didn’t draw enough attention to have any. But guilt had stopped Darby from running away so she just stood there, seeing nothing but hearing pretty much everything until it stopped. She waited a couple more seconds, unsure of what to do but knowing she needed to do something. So she started to walk again, only to see Blake leaning against a wall, bloodied and crying. Now she had never talked to this kid once in her life (though she had noticed him and how sad he always seemed, something that happened when you spent more time observing people than actually interacting with them) which by Darby standard meant she should just continue that trend and go on her way. Yet she couldn’t. If she had thought her heart broke before, now it was completely shattered and she had to do something. She was horrified that someone could do this to another person and then just walk away like it didn’t even matter. So then began the awkward attempts at comforting. Darby had no clue what to do. What was she supposed to say? It’s alright? Because clearly it wasn’t and she didn’t think he’d appreciate hearing that. And yet, she found herself saying that anyway, quietly and more to herself than to him, but saying it all the same. Then because she wasn’t sure what else to do, Darby had grabbed a tissue from her bag and tried to clean Blake up a little, but she really was too hesitant to do much more than kind of dab here or there, afraid of hurting him more. The firetamer knew it was wrong to be worrying about herself when Blake was very worse for wear, but she couldn’t stop herself from thinking about how awkward this whole situation was, how awful of a job she was doing trying to help him, and how much better off Blake would have been if someone else had been there instead of her. They probably would have stopped whoever had beaten him up so he wouldn’t even be this bad in the first place. But Blake was stuck with her less than graceful attempts at playing nurse. Darby hung around until he was good enough to go do his own thing and from then on, she had tried to avoid him, not out of meanness but so neither of them would relive the whole experience again. Yet, here he was, in the same coffee shop. The firetamer shouldn’t be surprised, not really. He was probably still in high school and it made sense for him to still be in Manuka. Darby ducked behind her book, knowing she must have looked entirely silly but unsure of what else to do. She doubted he remembered her, seeing as how she wasn’t really one to stand out in the first place, but she was afraid that he might. And then what? What if she reminded him of that time? Because it was the last thing she wanted to do. Blake probably wanted to relive that moment about just as much as she wanted to, which was not at all. She was hyperaware of his movements, watching as he walked to the counter and then as he chose a booth. Him sitting in the booth across from hers put her on edge, almost, and she was wondering how she could sneak out of here without making a scene. It was too late though. He had already seen her and remembered here enough to know her name. That meant he had to remember everything else, too. “I-uh. Hi, Blake,” Darby stammered, feeling her cheeks already starting to turn red. Well, apparently she had no more control over that than she had had before. “Y-yeah, I remember you. How h-have you been?” the firetamer asked, feeling as if she was socially required to but also sincerely hoping things had gotten better for him since they had last talked. She couldn’t imagine trying to deal with the situation she had seen him in on a regular basis. WORDS: ENOUGH . TAGGED: CIRCE/BLAKE <333 . OUTFIT: HERE

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[BLAKE NEIL LEWIS]

you know we can get away

[/font]
because i'm calling your name[/center]

As soon as the two met eyes he could see all of that day flashing back to him. It had been bittersweet. He had wanted Darby to stay with him much longer than she had when she had comforted him. Her simply being there and sitting with him had made him feel a bit better. Blake could at least pretend like she truly cared about him. He wished he could have done a few things differently that day. Of course he wished he could have avoided getting his ass given to him, but other than that he wished he had actually said more than a few words to Darby. Blake could barely get any words out for awhile of crying. Once he had calmed down he wished he could have at least asked her to hang out or something. His fear had gotten the best of him. As soon as she walked off he knew he was all alone again and he was back in that isolation and the constant knowledge of no one noticing him.

That hadn't been the first time he had been jumped by others, but that had to be the worse. Blake hoped Darby wasn't afraid to speak to him now because she had witnesses that horrible time in his life. Now all he got in the hallways were occasional bumps from those same guys that would send him flying to ground before. Blake was learning to deal with it day by day. He believed that particular day he had actually stood up for himself and that had basically killed him. Blake had a smart ass mouth and that was what made things hard for him. Either he was painfully awkward or a snarky asshole. Blake definitely didn't balance it well. Now he was just being an awkward and shy weirdo.

Blake twiddled his thumbs, glancing over at a man who was reading the newspaper and sipping from his cup. He quickly brought his eyes back to Darby who was looking as wide eyed as he did. Blake wondered what was going on in her head. He was hoping it was nothing negative. Blake definitely didn't want to bother her if she was trying to have some time to herself. He always felt like he was bothering others whenever he forced conversation onto them. Blake would just keep it short and simple and thank her for what she did and dart out of there. He usually wasn't good with a drawn out conversation, but maybe he could try with her. Maybe they had more in common than they knew. All Blake knew so far was that they were both very empathetic and saw things others didn't see.

He definitely wasn't approaching Darby to be super best friends, but he was hoping it would go a little past what the interaction they had before. Blake wasn't desperate, he was just in need in some type of people in his life besides his asshole family. He was so sick and tired of moping around and sitting alone in his dark room with his laptop. Blake actually needed human interaction. He could never keep a stable friendship. Relationships were completely out of the question when he couldn't even find one friend. Blake just needed to get outside of his mind maybe for a little and talk to Darby even if it was only for a few minutes or more.

Blake would try his best not to over think his own actions and hers as well. That always ruined things for him. If she even glanced at the doorway he instantly thought she wanted to stop talking to him so he'd feel himself panicking and become a complete idiot with words. Blake did not want that to happen. Maybe this was his chance to finally have a friend. He never got these type of opportunities. It was worth a try. Blake met eyes with her again and gave a weak laugh,"Oh cool. You remember my name. Wow, didn't expect that." He let out a breath and felt a genuine smile spread across his lips, instantly feeling himself grow nervous. That sounded so fucking stupid. He made it sound like she didn't care or something or was like all the other assholes in the world. Blake felt his face grow hot, but he kept his mouth shut for that time being.

Oh well of course she'd probably remember him because of the severity of the situation, but she wasn't sure if she'd recognize him without a black eye or busted lip and covered in blood. Blake wanted to tell her the whole truth, that he wasn't okay, but he knew that'd just freak her out."I'm doing okay. Probably a lot better than the last time you saw me." He let out a nervous laugh. Shit that was such a horrible joke."Um, I mean. Ah shit. I mean. Gah I'm sorry, Darby. I-I. Uh. I just wanted to, um, thank you for what you did for me. That one day. Yeah, you know that day. It's a long overdue thanks, but yeah." It all came out in a jumbled mess, but it sounded good enough for him. The thanks sounded a lot better in his head. It all just sounded jumbled and odd when he said it out loud.

Blake took a deep breath, trying to finish what he really was trying to get across. He felt like a deer in headlights. None of the words he had thought over were even come to his lips. Only jibberish seemed to be coming out."I guess I'm really trying to say is that I can't even think of a proper way to repay you for your kindness. Maybe I could buy you a doughnut or something. Ah I don't know. I'm shit with words." He finally stopped talking and began to stare at his lap unsure of how she would react. Blake just had thrown a lot at her and he had no idea how she would take it. He had been wanting to say that for years and it had played a lot more nicely in his head. Now it didn't even real and it was a lot more awkward than he had imagined it.

[/blockquote]

[DARBY GRACE ELLIS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] i'm gonna turn back time Blake didn’t think she’d remember his name? Oh. See, Darby knew she could come off as flighty and uncaring sometimes, mostly because she kept to herself and didn’t like to get involved in things. And if people tried to pull her out of that shell – especially people she wasn’t entirely comfortable with – then she’d pull even further back and pretty much shut down. Sure, it wasn’t the greatest coping mechanism and it often gave people the wrong impression of her, but it wasn’t something she could consciously stop herself from doing. Just one of those ingrained habits that had been going on for so long that it was impossible for her to change. She hadn’t been too overly worried about it either. Until right now, that was. Did she really seem like an awful enough person to completely forget his name? If there was one thing Darby had always been good at, it was matching names to faces. It was a skill you got to learn when you spent so much more time observing everything going on around you instead of limiting yourself to one group of friends. But maybe that hadn’t been the best way for Darby to spend her time in high school, seeing as how now she was beginning to question if she accidentally came off as a complete bitch. But maybe she was just overreacting because right after saying that, Blake smiled. The firetamer couldn’t quite figure out why he’d be smiling at her if he thought so lowly of her character. Besides he actually looked happy, which really didn’t make too much sense with her previous train of thought. She was letting her mind run in the worst direction possible like it was apt to do. Darby needed to quit overthinking things or she was going to drive herself insane. “Y-yeah. Of course I do.” the girl said, a smiling that matched Blake’s spreading across her face. He seemed to have that infectious sort of smile and regardless of what Darby had been worrying over earlier, she found herself relaxing a slight bit. Not a ton, of course, but enough to maybe not stutter over every word that came out of her mouth. And, well, maybe it was okay to sit and chat with him. It seemed like Blake needed to talk to someone and it wasn’t like Darby was going anywhere quickly. Besides, he didn’t seem to be in too much of a hurry himself and it didn’t look like she was reminding him too much of the last time they met. Or maybe she was, since he just made a joke about it. Oh, God. Darby hoped all of this wasn’t too uncomfortable for him. And she found herself wishing she could change that okay to good. What if he still went through what she witnessed on a regular basis? She should have done more that day and well, more in general. It wasn’t like she didn’t know what was going on with Blake after that day. She should have done more to help him out, even if she wasn’t brave enough to stop his bullies. Darby could’ve been there for Blake, giving him moral support, instead of being her selfish self and staying out of his business. Darby felt even guiltier about it when Blake started to thank her. She didn’t really do anything that required him thanking her. Didn’t Blake realize that Darby could have done so much more for him? She was sure that there were people who were there for Blake and who deserved more gratitude than she did. Darby didn’t deserve any of it, especially with all this nervousness. Clearly this wasn’t the easiest thing for him to do and he shouldn’t have to feel so uncomfortable around her because of it. But Darby also didn’t want to make it worse by interrupting him. So she waited until he finished speaking and slipped her book back into her bag, sliding one of the bag’s straps onto her shoulder. Grabbing her coffee cup, Darby slid over to Blake’s booth, hoping he didn’t mind her sitting with him. It was kind of silly for the two of them to be having a conversation while sitting at two entirely different booths, but she probably should have asked before she moved, but now it was too late. Besides, he might not have even responded since after his little speech, he turned his eyes towards his lap, almost as if he complete shut down after their conversation. She didn’t want to contradict him, thinking it’d probably only make him feel worse, but she also couldn’t live with herself if she didn’t say something. Darby had already messed up once and she was going to have to fix it now. “Blake,” the girl started, hoping it’d be enough to get his attention. “I-I appreciate it, but I d-don’t deserve thanks.” Darby paused for a moment or two, trying to make sure she had everything she wanted to say straightened out in her head. There was no need to sound like a babbling idiot in front of him when she was trying to explain something she thought super important. “I only did w-what any decent person would do.” There. At least that part was out. He was talking as if she had done something special and heroic when she definitely hadn’t. “I should’ve done more,” she added, quieter than before. That was the most important part. Sure, she might’ve attempted to help him out after she found him in that state, but it was a clumsy attempt at best. And it was nowhere near equal to the thanks she was getting from Blake. Darby didn’t want to sound like an awful person by telling him he was wrong, but well, she had to do what she had to do. She just hoped he understood and that she didn’t make him angry, since she really was enjoying his company. WORDS: ENOUGH . TAGGED: CIRCE/BLAKE <333 . OUTFIT: HERE

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[BLAKE NEIL LEWIS]

you know we can get away

[/font]
because i'm calling your name[/center]

Blake always wondered what his life would be like if he maybe he had over shadowed his sister for once or if he actually made an effort to talk to others. He had such an irrational fear that sat deep in his chest that even if he opened a small part of himself up to another person he would get his soul stomped on. Blake would watch all of the kids his age and just ask himself why he couldn't be like the rest of them. What made him so different from each and every face he watched walk past him at school? He didn't have a difficult life growing up. There wasn't any type of traumatic situation that scarred him as a child. Blake wasn't even sure why he deserved to be that unhappy with himself to the point where he could only cope with the pain by dragging a razor across his skin. It hurt even more that the person closest to him barely even noticed his pain. The pain was always in his eyes and yet not one person had called out to it, so Blake initial reaction was to feel even more alone than he already was. He wasn't even sure if he could deal with that feeling much longer.

Somedays he wanted so desperately to fit in and other days he wanted all of the world to go away. Those moods came and went, but they were so powerful and strong he had no notion as to how he dealt with them or how anybody in the world could handle those types of swings. Blake knew as soon as he would allow someone into his mind, he would hold on for dear life and hope they won't leave. Which always resulted in the very thing he had feared. Blake had driven away many possible friendships directly from that fact. He would have reached out to Darby sooner if he would have known she was just as reclusive as he was. Even if the reclusive behavior was or was not from the same sadness he dealt with. Blake was hanging on the hope that he would somehow become friends with Darby and it wouldn't be a flimsy one. Either he ended up becoming far too clingy or they grew uninterested.

Blake at one point he had tried to throw himself out there and get into or develop a social life. He would show up at parties and feel himself being swallowed even more by the isolation. He was in a large group of people and yet he still felt lonely. Blake usually found himself taking in more alcohol than he should and that never resulted in good things. Whenever he stumbled himself back home he was forced right back into his room. He got so tired of staring at the same four walls. It was suffocating and he always tried his best to get out without his parents knowing. Blake wanted more than anything his parents approval, but all they ever did was look down on him and it had always been that way, or at least that's what he remembered. He had never come home with an A, or straight As even, like Chase did. Yet they'd pat Trace on the head for getting Cs and Ds and just tell him to do better and let him go on his way.

He never understood his parents' way of thinking. Trace had gotten a majority of his tattoos at sixteen and their parents hadn't said one damn thing. If Blake even thought about it they would know and then the two would attack him. Chase even had tattoos. She was the master of deception. Their parents had no clue of how Chase really was. Blake hated her so fucking much because of the shit she got away with and he was the one to get blamed for it. It put the cherry on top that not only did she do that, but she would find tons of time to make sure he felt like shit by pestering him at home. It wasn't like he didn't get enough of that at school growing up. Now that he was older, nobody really cared or messed with him. This had to be the first year he wasn't truly afraid to go to school.

Every type of nerve was running through his body, but Darby's smile made him feel only slightly more at ease. Blake only afraid of making an idiot of himself or coming off as somebody he wasn't. His eyes were following every move she made, when he got the courage to actually look at her. Blake and constant eye contact didn't go hand in hand about ninety percent of the time."I mean it's been awhile, so I wasn't sure. I didn't want to approach you and you wouldn't have a clue who I was. That'd be so damn embarrassing," He rambled for what seemed like forever to him. Blake usually tried to say the minimal when it came to speaking. Darby was making him so nervous he was having mouth diarrhea. He mentally scolded himself for letting his talking go on for that long and it was almost like he hadn't even taken breaths in between. Blake was sure he was just making him seem like a complete dickhead who had no clue how to even communicate with other people and the sad thing was that it was partially true.

Blake let out a small sigh as he felt that heavy weight on his shoulder lift off as he finished his thanks. His eyes rose up from his lap and focused themselves on Darby as she slid into the booth. As she said his name his eyes flashed down to the table that separated the two of them. Fear swelled up, afraid of what she was about to say. He listened intently, his eyes still set on the table top. Blake's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she went on, unable to accept his thanks. He never would have thought she would have felt like she didn't do enough. She did everything she could do. Blake sat up and rested both of his arms on the table, looking up at her with a look of confusion. Her humbleness, or whatever she was expressing, was nice, but she really did do him some good by just being there and she had every reason to know that.

He leaned against the table and began to play with the rim of his cup as he tried to process everything in his head. Blake took a deep breath and glanced down to the steaming cup in front of him. He really didn't want to act or say anything pitiful or depressing in front of her, but it was what he had to do to make her understand."Well you're the only person who's ever done anything," Blake said, trying his best not to let himself get emotional. It was different to think those things daily, but to say them out loud made his words get caught in his throat. He stopped for a few moments, deep in thought."There haven't been many "decent" people around me. You just sitting there with me saved me from almost..." Blake stopped himself mid-sentence, not wanting to go any further. He was revealing things to Darby that he had never told anybody and this was their first time officially speaking. The last thing he wanted to do was scare her off with all that depressing shit."You helped me more than you can think, Darby." Blake said softly. He hadn't taken his eyes off of that spot on the table. Sometimes his eyes looked so haunting staring off into space like that. He only wished he could get rid of those thoughts that made him look that way.

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[DARBY GRACE ELLIS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] i'm gonna turn back time She didn’t want to argue with Blake over the point. Darby was naturally not an argumentative person. The girl hated causing ripples and rocking the boat and pretty much every other saying you could think of to say causing trouble. She liked people getting along and being happy, even if she didn’t necessarily agree with them. To her, that was more important than having her opinion heard most of the time. Darby would much rather not step on toes and have people like her. That was more important in the long run to her. It was just a core part of her personality. So for her to even disagree with Blake in the first place was a rare thing that took a lot of courage for her to do. Once Blake pushed back, Darby was okay with dropping the subject. She still didn’t think she did anything for Blake, despite what he was telling her. If she did, then it was the very minimum and she still didn’t deserve the thanks he was trying to give her. But Darby wasn’t about to argue with him again, not when he was so adamant about it and not after the words he just said. That simple statement was enough to break Darby’s heart. If Darby and her sorry attempt to act like a decent person had been what stopped Blake from doing something awful, then he definitely had it much worse than she had thought. She kind of had it in her brain where Blake was in the same situation as her almost. No friends, little social interaction with peers, couldn’t wait to just be alone. Sure, he had the bullies and his situation was more complex than Darby’s. She just hadn’t been able to fathom how bad it was for him though, not if he was contemplating doing something awful to himself. As lonely as Darby had felt, she never had those thought cross her mind. Then again, she did have things a little differently than Blake did. During her freshman and sophomore years of high school, Elijah was still around. He was two years older than her, but they had known each other since the Ellises and the Sabrers were no strangers to each other. Such big firetamer families had to know the other one. And since Elijah and Darby were sort of outcasts within their respective family (with Elijah being human and Darby basically being so), they sort of bonded over that. When Darby saw his face in the hallways between classes or while in class, she was reminded that she wasn’t entirely alone. And even after he graduated and Darby didn’t talk to anyone in school anymore, she still held onto that thought. She felt lonely, but never really considered herself completely alone. Darby had been lucky. It seemed like Blake didn’t have that at all though. But he could’ve, though, and that was the thought that was making Darby feel even guiltier. She could have been Blake’s Elijah if she wasn’t such an awkward bird. If she even knew how to begin to make friends, she could have done that for Blake. Even if it was just to say hi to him in the hallways to let him know someone was looking forward to running into him instead of ducking her head to avoid eye contact. It wouldn’t have taken that much work and she still couldn’t bring herself to do it. She was the worst kind of coward. Now was the opportunity to make up for it though, right? Why else would fate have them run into each other now of all times? The firetamer was working on being more outgoing and while it was slow going, she thought she was making some progress. She could try to apply some of that newfound outgoingness to Blake. Darby had messed up when she had the original chance so now she could try to actually do something for Blake. Let him know he wasn’t entirely alone because while it might not fix everything, she hoped it could make it a little bit better. With that plan in action though, Darby had to figure out how to execute it. Her fingers began to nervously tear her now empty coffee cup, a habit of hers. She felt the need to keep her fingers busy, especially when she was thinking. Darby kind of wanted to lightly touch Blake on the hand or the arm, knowing that that had always been a comfort to her. That physical connection could some times be more powerful than any words that could be said. The girl didn’t know how to go about it though. They were both rather separated, being on opposite sides of a booth with a table in between them. Her hand would just end up awkwardly flopping in the middle of the table without any real direction. So that was scratched. What else could she do? Maintain contact after this meeting. Yeah, that’d be a good thing. That was what friends did. They talked and they hung out and they were there when you needed them. Darby wasn’t sure if Blake would count her as a friend, but it as something that she’d like to be to him. The girl opened her backpack and started digging around in it, looking for a pen and piece of scrap paper. She almost always had those on hand. Finding those, she pulled both out and quickly scrawled her name and number onto the paper and pushed it in Blake’s direction before she changed her mind. Darby wasn’t nervous about Blake having her number; she was more worried that he’d think she was just being weird or forward or something. But she had done it already so there was no taking it back. Exactly liked planned. “Here,” she stated, even though the scrap paper was clearly already in his possession. “In case you ever w-want to t-talk. Or hang out or…” Darby trailed off, realizing the more she explained it, the stupider it sounded. Which was what she was worried about. Even with that though, it seemed she could only hold off on babbling for so long before she started to add more. “I-I might not always know what to say, b-but I’m here to listen.” And now it was starting to sound kind of pushy, at least to Darby’s ears. God. She just couldn’t get this right. “I m-mean, if you want. You don’t have to if you don’t w-want to.” Darby quickly stopped herself from rambling more, biting her lip to help keep her mouth shut. Well, if Blake hadn’t thought she was a babbling idiot before, he would now. WORDS: ENOUGH . TAGGED: CIRCE/BLAKE <333 . OUTFIT: HERE

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[BLAKE NEIL LEWIS]

you know we can get away

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He was surprised although he barely had any contact outside his parents he could keep an actual conversation up with Darby. Blake didn't consider himself awkward, but he did have trouble communicating with others. He especially had difficult talking to people if they were the literal opposite of his personality, which was about the majority of everyone at his school. They were all about bragging about how high they get, how much they drink, who they have sex with, and all the hype on social networking. He could not relate to them on any type of level and that was depressing. Group or partner projects at school for excruciating. Either he was completely ignored or talked down to. Blake hated going to school more than anything because it was the most emotionally exhausting thing. He was so damn glad he was in his senior year and he would never have to see all those fuckheads again. Blake felt like he would be a bit more free to be himself out of high school. He felt like he was never able to find out who he was since he was hidden behind his depression and quietness all his life. Blake wanted to let loose and have friends, and most importantly be happy.

He wanted so badly to leave Manuka and meet new people. Blake would meet people who could have intellectual conversations with him and they could actually see eye to eye. There would be no more awkward attempts at talking to others and no more bullying. Blake hoped there would be one day where he could look back and smile at how far he had come. Also one day he hoped that there wouldn't be fresh cuts on his body, but faint scars of those he had done in those dark days he would never go back to. Blake knew he was hoping for too much. He felt he deserved happiness. Sadly, it was just never given to him. He was destined a life of depression and self loathing. Blake was scared it would only get worse and after a gradual time he would want to do more than just harm himself. He had gotten to that point several times before and Darby had been there to save him from that one time, even if she does deny it.

Blake had felt so alone and unwanted during those days. When those guys cornered him and nearly beat the living shit out of him he would have just ventured off somewhere and waited there for death to come. He had never felt so pitiful in his life and he would have thought that Darby being there to see it would make it worse, but it hadn't. Her sitting with him had helped a ton and he wanted her to know that. His own damn brother didn't even notice how bad his had it, yet a complete stranger was there for him more than his own family. Either Blake was good at hiding his emotions or his family was really that fucking stupid and selfish. He didn't really want them to know, but secretly he wished they would notice and help him. All Blake wanted was a hug from his mom now and then and to be told that he was loved. Yet, that never happened for him. He basically didn't even exist at home.

To not exist at home or at school, it was hard to find his sanctuary. Blake usually kept himself locked up in his room and stayed on his laptop to distract himself. Yet, he kept getting on grounded more and more so he basically never saw his laptop or phone anymore. Blake was lucky he had it in his possession then. He mostly got in trouble because of his grades and arguing with Chase. Blake was a smart kid, but he was just tired of trying. He put all of his efforts into his grades and he wasn't recognized for them. It was discouraging to come home with all As and his parents barely bat an eye at him. Blake wanted nothing more than to be praised by his parents who thought of Chase as their star jewel. He was basically shit compared to her even though he got all of his grades from hard work and dedication and she got her As from sucking her teacher's dick. It was disgusting.

Blake did act out sometimes to get his parent's attention, even if it was not positive attention. At least they were aknowledging him for once. It was extremely sad that he had to do go to that extreme just to get his parents to notice him for once. Blake hadn't heard the words 'I love you' out of either of his parent's mouths since he was about seven. After that, they put all their attention and focus on Chase and Trace. Trace had come home drunk and with tattoos several times and they barely even cared. They just told him not to do it again and yet he went on and did it again. Trace and Chase could get away with whatever the fuck they wanted. Hell, Chase had several tattoos and their parents hadn't even noticed. It pissed Blake the hell off and he was tired of all the shit that went on the Lewis house. Blake wished he could leave and never see any of their faces again. Besides his brother of course.

He decided to push that though to the back of his mind as Darby began to go through her bag. Blake was nervous that she was trying to leave as she did that. Seconds later she pulled out a piece of paper and his nerves died a bit. Then he noticed that she was scribbling her number down. Oh. Blake had to force himself not to smile like a goof as she slid the number across the table. He grabbed the small sheet of paper and examined her number and looked back up to her as she spoke. Blake pulled his phone out of his pocket to save it right away before he forgot and shoved the paper in his pocket when he was done. He looked back up at her with a small smile as she spoke. Blake chuckled softly,"No, thank you. I'll definitely call you." He said, trying his best not to nearly burst into song. Blake played with the rim of his cup once again and looked back up at Darby."I'll try my best not to annoy the hell out of you. He laughed, taking the last sip of what he had left of his drink."You really wouldn't mind me hanging out with you?" He smiled sweetly, hoping he didn't seem completely self absorbed talking about himself the whole time they sat there. Blake was always fearful he spoke about himself too much.

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[DARBY GRACE ELLIS]

[atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 366x; height: 190px; padding: 10px; background-color: #dcd4c7; border: #eae4d8 10px solid;] i'm gonna turn back time “Oh! Blake, d-don’t worry! You won’t annoy me!” Darby assured Blake, really wanting to get the point across that he couldn’t ever annoy her. She had the feeling that he was the kind of person who would call when he genuinely wanted to talk or hang out. The only way he could annoy her would be by calling her every five minutes for no reason other than to actually annoy her and he didn’t seem like the type to do that. Even if he did, Darby probably wouldn’t tell him he was being annoying. She’d still answer the phone and talk to him because it was just the type of person she was. She didn’t like to cause issues with people. Darby couldn’t help but smile back at Blake, her thinking he had a rather nice smile. She hadn’t seen it nearly enough during their conversation and never when they had been in school together. The firetamer was of the mindset that smiling more made life better. Of course, only if there was genuine happiness behind the smile. And that that happiness would become infectious and make other people’s days better as well. Sure, it sounded really naïve and optimistic, but Darby had reasons to be happy, especially as of late. Things had really turned around for her once she had left high school and she wished she could tell Blake that would happen for him to, but Darby really thought much of that upswing was to the credit of Ryden. Blake would just have to find his Ryden. Until that happened – and even after it did – Darby was ready to be the friend that she thought Blake needed. “Of course I don’t m-mind. I want to hang out with you,” Darby told Blake. He had to know that she genuinely wanted to spend time with him, get to know him like she should have a couple years ago instead of being a coward and running away. The last thing she wanted him to believe was that she was only offering this because she felt obligated to because that was the furthest thing from the truth. “Whenever you feel like it,” she added, making sure he knew it was an open invitation and not something Darby was going to go back on or regret making. No, she liked Blake. They had really only been here for a short amount of time – 15 minutes tops – but she could already tell that he was a good guy. Darby liked to think she was a pretty okay judge of character and she was getting the impression that he was one of those people who were good to their very core, the type who didn’t purposely do anything to harm someone else. Blake had just been given the short end of the stick and had been placed in a not so great life situation. That wasn’t his fault; he couldn’t control his immediate environment like that. Sometimes you were just stuck with what you were stuck with. Darby definitely understood that sentiment. She loved her family, don’t get her wrong. Everything they did and had done was carried out with the best intentions. It still didn’t mean that she couldn’t wish they were different people in the respect that they could be more open to change instead of tradition. And it definitely didn’t mean that she had to forgive them for what they had done in the past. The firetamer could only guess that Blake was in a similar boat, or at least something that was close enough that she could get where he was coming from. She just wished she could wave a magic wand and just make things instantly better for Blake. He didn’t deserve what he had been given. Even though the magic wand wasn’t within Darby’s power, maybe she could do something else. She knew for herself, books had always been a good distraction for her when she wanted to get away from her life for a little bit. Maybe she could be that distraction for Blake. She could plan things for them to go do or something as friends. Darby couldn’t help but think she would’ve loved being able to look forward to something like that if she had actually had people she hung out with on a regular basis in high school. It could help Blake too, if only for a couple hours here and there. With this thought in mind, Darby found herself continuing the conversation instead of just letting it stall like she normally would. “It doesn’t have to be just talking on the phone though,” Darby said quickly before she talked herself out of it. She didn’t know why she was suddenly back to feeling a tad bit timid; clearly she was okay with Blake. It was just always nerve wracking to put herself out there, even if she was comfortable with the person. “We can go do stuff like proper friends. Go to the movies or get something to eat or whatever you wanted to do. If you’re interested in that.” Oh jeez. Now she was just dragging this rambling thing on for far too long. Darby was a little afraid at this point that she was just pushing things too far. What if Blake started to get creeped out by how persistent Darby was about hanging out? She didn’t want him to get this impression of her being a pushy someone who just clung onto someone and expected all their time the moment they started talking to her. That wasn’t Darby at all. The firetamer just wanted to make Blake a little bit happier and she really didn’t know how to do that without seeming overly earnest. WORDS: ENOUGH . TAGGED: CIRCE/BLAKE <333 . OUTFIT: HERE

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[SEAJAY]

Due to inactivity of two months or more, this thread has been moved to the archives. If you'd like it back, please PM a staff member with the thread location and name. Thanks!

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