somewhere beyond this -- Morgan

[CASIDHE TRYSTEN CATARA]

He can feel.. so much. Tingles running up and down his spine at the touch of Morgan's hands on him; goosebumps rising over his skin. The interal war rages on, but it's a battle that's already in the bag. Casi knows it, but it does not stop him from fighting in what little ways he still can. He won't give up; he'll be defeated. He understands this, accepts it. It will happen, but at least he'll have known where he stood. Cas will be able to have that moment looking back to say that he'd given it his all and it wasn't enough. He couldn't do it. Casi could not withhold from Morgan. He isn't meant to. His heart beats furiously within his chest, and Morgan is still in control. Cas doesn't touch where he's not controlled to do so.

This is the only way it can happen, the only way -- this time -- that Morgan can win what's going on. The answers had been spread out before the other immortal, and Cas knew it was too much to ask to think that Morgan had missed it. The man knew what he was doing, and it's obvious. Casi does not begrudge any of this. How could he? If Morgan felt what Casi knew him to feel, then there wasn't any way the other immortal could pass up whatever chance he had left. Deep down, Cas wouldn't have it any other way. And he knows damn well that it's wrong by any mortal standards. Those things are not lost on him. He knows where his flaws lay. He realizes why so many appreicated his submissive nature over the years.

He's been hiding it really well over the last few months. Cas wasn't letting on to others how they could manipulate him, since he knows a few of them would if they had any idea. He's careful. There is no way to be careful with Morgan. Careful was not necessary. He stares at Morgan, hears the two words as the man lifts him. He swallows thickly, . Once he's in the truck his hand shakes as he dials the cellphone; tells the person who answers the bakery phone that he needed the day off. Then it's shut off, tucked away again. Morgan hadn't stopped touching him, and it's clear to see that it's driving Casi insane. He's half wild with need, but his control could be commended. He's been trained to do nothing unless ordered to do it while being commanded. That part of the battle isn't as hard as it could be.

Then they were in the door, everything going so fast. "Morgan--" He shakes his head, a soft plea. The other immortal probably doesn't even hear him as it all fades. When it's over, Casi curls closer to Morgan; seeking love and comfort in the other immortal's embrace. What had occurred was as close to rape as it got with Casi, but he clings to Morgan. He won't let go. More then ever, he needs this to hold himself together. It doesn't work. Instead, he hides his face in the crook of Morgan's neck and shoulder and cries. It's silent tears; he doesn't want the other immortal to know. Crying was one of the most rare things Cas did. Done only twice before in the time he's known Morgan; which is a lot, since he hadn't cried in over five hundred years before that. And only Casper had been there for the second time. It doesn't matter; all is forgiven, and he belongs to Morgan again.

[hound2]

Morgan can’t help but take the reins of what’s going on. It doesn’t register as bad or wrong… he’s taking back what’s rightfully his. He’s as addicted to Casidhe as Casidhe is to him. They need each other in different ways, and all in the same way. They need everything to go on without a hitch, or things start to crumble. He needs what he needs, he’s aching and burning on the inside. It’ll eat him alive if he tries too hard. If he doesn’t try hard enough it’ll burn him. Either way, unless he gets things just right, all hell will break loose.

Yet he does get everything just right. It takes what seems like an age, but it’s the best kind of age. There’s heat and passion and fire, all bubbling up and boiling between them. It seems to spill over and it’s the best sort of eaten alive. The plea he hears registers as a plea for more and nothing other than that. It’s a plea that he can fulfill entirely and completely, take and do with it what he will. He needs it. Everything works so well and fits together so perfectly. This is what he needed. He needed what wouldn’t leave him back all over again, and now he’s got it.

In his arms, he takes the blond man. He holds him tight to his chest, rocking slightly. They’re skin on skin and beautiful, wrapped in the quilt that he’d taken from home. Hell, it still smelled like the fabric softener his father had used when he did laundry. Everything about the moment was already powerful, and then he felt the wetness against his skin—tears. They nearly burned where they hit and slid against the bare flesh, but he held Casidhe all the more tightly through it. His lips go to the top of the man’s head, his hands stroking down the man’s back. He’s comfort, now, more than anything. He’s a lover.

“What’s wrong, my love?” The question is low and soft, a ruble in his chest more than actual words. There’s holding, gentle and wonderful. Now that all has gone quiet, Evan crawls up in the bed as well. She curls up at the hollow of Casidhe’s back, realizing that there’s no space between the two men in the bed. It’s all the family Morgan has left, right here, around him. It’s all he feels he needs in the long run, but the tears… the tears trouble him. He’s gentle as he works his calloused hands down the man’s back in broad strokes, working away at the knots in the muscles. Morgan worries.

ATTIRE click CREDIT sam ! of Confronting the Faceless. Don't remove the credit or I will find you. LYRICS young – hollywood undead NOTES gah WORD COUNT 441-ish

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[CASIDHE TRYSTEN CATARA]

Rightfully his, yeah, Casi knows it's true; he's Morgan's just as the other immortal is his. Cas couldn't reach out and force Morgan to stay and realize it, but it's obvious by all that is happening that Morgan could do it to him. Casi doesn't begrudge it, he needs a firm hand, something -- someone -- to keep him focused on the right things. Morgan can keep Cas safe from himself and all the problems Casi could get into. The once-witch knew what he was dealing with; a centuries-old man-child that was broken in too many places. Cas didn't see himself as that, didn't usually act as if anything was wrong in his world. He had a high tolerance for pain; except when it came to matters of the heart. There he was far too sensitive and weak.

It was wonderful in the totally submissive sort of way. He took nothing that wasn't already given, and Morgan gave more then enough to have him calling out more than once. But now he's letting the vibrations calm within his skin, the bliss settling over him that he can't feel coupling with random people. It was different even from those he could feel something with. Only two, but what does it matter? The fact was, with Morgan it was always exciting, on fire. It wasn't just tender and playful, it wasn't something that set him on edge or made him nevous. It was passion past the boiling point; surprising and grand and.... right. He needed those things more than anything else. He needed Morgan.

And Cas loves the tight way in which he's held to the other immortal. It's that never-letting-go sort of feel and it's perfect. Cas craves that feeling; he needs it. It was warm and beautiful but it mixed with the ache of having let someone else down. Casi disliked doing that in such an intense manner that he might find a way to punish himself for having done it. That wasn't who he wanted to be, and now he wouldn't fall into that kind of mess again, not with Morgan here to hold him up. Hold him close. He has to be close, to cling and touch of his own accord now. Cas was tempted, swayed, claimed; and he has every right to hold and touch what's his. So he does, letting Morgan's tight hold on him be a comfort he can cherish.

Morgan was all the things that Casi needed when he needed them. How could anyone argue with such a thing as that? It wasn't valid to do so. But when Morgan asks what's wrong, and Cas struggles with a reply. Finally, he decides to let the truth out in the only way he can really explain to any extent of properly. And it'll still far short. "You are the very best parts of the things I've lived, and I know that's a challenge because I'm damaged. I don't see the world and actions the same way as everyone else might." His voice is low, a whisper. He doesn't look up though, he just feels. He notes that Evan takes to the bed, crawls closer to curl up. He can feel the way Morgan's hands move over his back, working away the stress with an ease that's so natural it's almost troubling. There's conflict in Casi's mind, but it's not the kind that really causes him harm.

[hound2]

There is a strength to Morgan. He’s spent the last months out in the wilds, in the open, making life simply worth living to the naked eye. He’s needed something to keep his head in place. Farming had been his way of life for as long as anyone could remember, and then he left it. You can’t quit something you love cold turkey. You can’t let go of the things that light your life and give it meaning with the greatest of ease. It had been the first twenty years of his life, the first twenty three. Morgan was in love with it the way one would be with another human being. Somehow, it had been the only thing that hadn’t left him.

Until Casi. He holds the other immortal in his arms with the strength that had been built up. It was a strength like no other, like nothing else, and it was beautiful. He feels beautiful here, basking in the warmth of something that’s sacred. It hadn’t been, in the beginning. Then again, maybe even then, it had. Sometimes things are there even when you aren’t looking for them. Sometimes things will let you hold on and on and on without a second thought, just waiting for you to notice. That’s what their love had started off as. It waited for them to notice.

His hands continue to splay over Casi’s back, touching and feeling the skin. He’s gentle… painfully gentle. Morgan is different than he has been in the past. He’s hurt. He’s gotten hurt, he’s been hurt, and the things he’s seen have hurt him. The young man lives a different life now, in Casidhe’s arms. “You may be damaged but you’re so very beautiful to me.” Morgan’s fingers slide down the man’s cheek, kissing his jaw then his lips. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t balk as he wipes away the man’s tears with a calloused thumb. True love.

ATTIRE click CREDIT sam ! of Confronting the Faceless. Don't remove the credit or I will find you. LYRICS young – hollywood undead NOTES gah WORD COUNT 322-ish

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[CASIDHE TRYSTEN CATARA]

The last few months had been a type of hell, honestly. There had been good parts; how couldn't there be? He had Valentine -- oh! He still had to tell Morgan about her -- but knowing her was a bright spot in his life, even if he knows it needs to be short lived. For what was best for her, not him. He had set aside college to spend more time with his daughter, so it was obvious that he wanted to keep her. It was just a lot more dangerous then he'd really given enough thought of before, when he hadn't been so attached. Though he supposed that he would always feel ties to her, want to be there for her. Yet he would do what she needed, what would be safer for her instead of thinking of his own feelings on the matter. Valentine mattered too much, and she needed better. More. Cas wasn't going to cut it, and he knew it now.

What had it been in the beginning? Intense. Truthful, real. It had been so many things, and perhaps it had more to it even then that they hadn't been able to see. It was possible... probable. It would make sense for it to be all those things. Whatever it had been, Cas knows that it's far more now. He seeks comfort from Morgan, holding onto the male for dear life. He's needy and he does not try to hide it. He doesn't need to hide anything from Morgan. This is his life. Morgan is his life and he will not fight that, not anymore. Not again. This was as it was suppost to be, and Casi was going to embrace it. It was beautiful, wonderful and the way it should be. Needed to be. Cas would not let go. He cuddled to Morgan, needing nothing more then he needed the male.

He adores how gentle Morgan is being, though the male doesn't have to be. Cas is resiliant, he can take a beating and bounce back from it. Yet it's the fact that Morgan knows all of this -- in a personal way, even -- but is still so gentle that really gets to Casi. Sets right in his heart; something to cherish. It means the world to him, these little things that tell him just how much Morgan cares. The words sound in his ears and his insides are warm, figuratively liquified. He melts. To Morgan he forms perfectly. He feels Morgan's lips on his jaw, then on his, and he gives. Everything he feels, everything he's got; it all goes into that kiss. It all but screams that he needs Morgan so. Cas wants to lay here forever with the male; snuggling, talking sweet little things and knowing he's loved. Loving back with a bright fierceness that cannot be recreated.

[hound2]

There is sinking. Morgan sunk for a long time. He’s been sinking for the very longest time, and it’s nearly impossible to stop the downward progression. Losing Kit meant sinking down deeper than he could ever know, losing track and losing hold of everything that meant he cold and would be okay. He’d lost what he thought was forever. That was before he knew what forever was. Now that he’s got his eternity, he can sink as deep for as long as he really wants to. He knows what it’s like to sink instead of float. He knows so damn well.

There is floating. There’s what he’s doing right now, which is seeming to float high off the ground. Casi is to his chest, the thing that stops the sinking. It’s like he’s found a life vest, and that’s… that’s what he needs. He has what he loves and adores, and it makes everything perfect. His fingers on skin… wonderful, glorious, perfect skin. He needs the skin on skin contact to feel okay, and that’s… that’s just as okay. Casi can bring skin, he gives skin, and skin on skin on skin is all Morgan will ever need. He’ll only ever need it from Casidhe… and that’s what makes his world entirely complete once more.

There is drifting. Now, holding the not so young man to his chest, he murmurs softly. There are no words for how he feels in these moments, only that he can touch absolute perfection. He does touch it, where it lies in his arms. He remembers too, as he rests on his back with the warm body curled to his own. He remembers all the things that have happened this last year, the last few months… how things change. How they always change. The purple creeps in around the edges of his hazel eyes, and he knows where the memories are, where they rest. “Are you going to kiss me?”

ATTIRE click CREDIT sam ! of Confronting the Faceless. Don't remove the credit or I will find you. LYRICS young – hollywood undead NOTES gah WORD COUNT 322-ish

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